Note from Meru: This chapter is by my dear friend Nimeneth. She worked very hard to write it so you better work VERY hard to enjoy it! This chapter saved my life because Eneth did a great job with the comedy! The password to Gryffindor tower is my new best friend.

Author of the day-Eneth: Hey guys, I finished my chapter of Vicarious Life this evening. It turned out really weird, you have been warned. You'll probably make me write it again. But that's okay. shrugs Here it is!

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Later, everyone sitting in the Gryffindor dorm stared at Seamus as he entered the room. Rather, Ron and Dean stared. Neville was still engrossed in his book. Seamus slowly walked to his bed and took off his shoes and socks before sitting down. Dean and Ron instantly joined him.

"Terry Boot," Ron said simply. "What was that about him?"

"It's nothing," Seamus replied.

"The chrysanthemums didn't seem to think so," Neville put in from his bed. He slipped a bookmark into his book and moved across the room to the other Gryffindor's bed. Seamus shot Neville a glare.

"Fine, it's something, but it's none of your business!" Seamus snapped. Dean laughed.

"Of course it's not," he said, "but we wouldn't be asking otherwise."

"Bugger off." Dean laughed again.

"What do you think of Terry Boot?" Neville asked again. Seamus again turned a stunning shade of red and muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Ron asked, leaning forward towards Seamus.

"Fine!" Seamus shouted. "Ikindalikehim."

"What?" Dean asked.

"You heard me, I kinda like him!" Seamus shouted, his face still a nice shade of crimson. The dorm fell silent for a short moment. Suddenly, Dean pounded Seamus on the back as he and Ron fell around laughing. Neville gave a small smile.

Draco sat down at the edge of the lake, ignoring the Slytherins gathered nearby. This. Was. Murder. He couldn't stand it! His former housemates didn't know a thing about him. Just because he was the father of Potter's baby didn't mean he was a traitor. It just meant that…. Draco stopped that train of thought from going further. Of course it made him a traitor. He'd had sex with a Gryffindor.

Just then, a small object came sailing over his head and landed next to him. Draco spared it one glance and looked away, disgusted. Oh yes, his housemates really appreciated him. Without even a glance to the rest of the students, Draco got up and moved around the lake, until he was alone. He sat down again.

'When is this harassment going to end?' Draco asked himself. He snorted softly. 'When? Never.' And it wasn't just when he was alone: Potions, once his favorite class, was becoming like torture. His former housemates shunned him, and they kept messing up his potions, causing terrible accidents that Draco always attributed to Longbottom's low intelligence. He groaned softly. Snape could do nothing about it, either.

He spotted a flower at his side and plucked it from the ground, angrily tearing off the petals.

'This is all Potter's fault!' a little voice in his head screamed.

'It's not, you fool!' It's your own fault! another yelled back.

A third side butted in. 'Will you all just shut up!' Draco's mind fell into silence.

Finally: 'Poor bloke.'

"Gyah!" Draco yelled, throwing the flower off to one side. "Everything's bad enough without beating myself up! Calm down, Draco, you still have a reputation to uphold. Prince of Cool."

'Yeah, right,' one of the little voices in his head snorted at him. The other two laughed at him. Draco closed his eyes in defeat. Those annoying little voices wouldn't leave him alone. He supposed it was just as well. Without them he'd have no one to talk to. His eyes shot open. Little voices in his head meant he was crazy. "GYAH! I AM NOT CRAZY!"

'Sure you're not,' one of the other voices said to him.

"I need to be rid of these annoyances," he muttered under his breath. "Get a grip, Malfoy." He took a few deep breaths to steady himself. Now where was he? Ah yes.

Snape. Snape couldn't help him. Snape had moved him to the Gryffindor dorm, where he was just as much as an outcast as he was in his own house. Snape didn't understand. Snape never understood. In fact, it was all Snape's fault! If it hadn't been for Snape, he wouldn't have been interested in Potions, and that wouldn't have led him to create the potion that had started this mess! Yes, that was the answer! No more trusting Snape!

'You realize that you're using Snape as a scapegoat,' one of the little voices told him. 'It's not his fault, you know.'

"It's always his fault," Draco muttered to himself. The little voices sighed and held a meeting in his head. Finally, they came to a consensus and started packing their bags. "What are you three up to?"

'Leaving,' one of the little voices informed him. 'You're such a Drama Queen.'

"I am not!" Draco said indignantly. But the little voices were gone. "Good riddance, too," he muttered. Getting to his feet, he brushed his robes off and started a leisurely walk around the lake, ignoring the stares that he got. Let them stare, he thought. Let them see that I don't care that I've been shunned by my idiot housemates. Let them talk! It doesn't bother me, I thrive on attention. He thrived off the attention.

Once he got out of sight, his shoulders slumped. Except the one person I want to notice me hates my guts. My life sucks, he thought, frowning. Although I did get him pregnant… Pregnant. That meant a baby. And it couldn't be nameless. He'd have to talk to Harry about names. If he could find the Gryffindor boy. Just then, Harry walked around the corner.

"Harry!" Draco called, glad that he wouldn't have to seek the Gryffindor out. "I have to talk to you."

"Go away, Malfoy," Harry ground out in return. "I don't have to talk to you." Draco ignored the comment and hurried to catch up to Harry as he turned the corner again.

"It's about the baby. We should think of a name for it," Draco said. Harry stopped abruptly.

"We?" Harry asked quietly. Draco nodded. "This is not 'our' baby. This is my baby. Now go knock up someone else and bug them about baby names!" Harry stalked off, leaving Draco standing where he was, staring after him.

"That didn't go exactly as planned," Draco said with a sigh. Rolling his eyes, he entered Hogwarts and moved slowly towards the Gryffindor common room, sullen. Harry had just brushed him aside like he was a child. Or an unwanted tag-along, Draco corrected. He sighed. That's all I am. A tag-along that nobody cares about. His thoughts got steadily darker as he traversed the corridors towards the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" she asked as Draco came around the corner. Well, at least the Fat Lady recognized that he would be living in the Gryffindor dorms for a while. She, of course, had voiced her opinion about him already.

"Oscar Meyer," Draco said. The Fat Lady swung open and he climbed through. Crossing the Common Room, he ascended the stairs leading to the dorm that he was sharing with the Gryffindors in his year and Harry's fat cousin. He opened the door and stopped dead. And stared.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Ron snapped from Seamus's bed. The Gryffindors were looking at him. Finally, Draco found voice to his thoughts.

"I hope you know that you are, by definition, having an orgy," Draco said with a sneer. "I never would have thought that Gryffindors would be interested in that sort of thing. But of course, I should have guessed."

"What do you mean?" Neville asked.

"This is what a dictionary is used for," Draco said. "Although I would imagine that you wouldn't know how to use one after being whacked in the head by a few in your childhood."

"Sod off, Malfoy," Ron snapped at Draco. With a shrug, the blond boy left.

"What is he talking about, an orgy?" Seamus said as soon as the door closed.

"I couldn't tell you," Dean replied.

"I need peace…" Draco muttered to himself as he yet again traversed the halls of Hogwarts. Without really realizing where he was, his feet led him to the library. He stared at the stacks of books for a moment.

With a sigh, he entered the library with a short nod to Madame Pince. 'Since I'm here, he thought, I might as well do something useful. Research on potions ingredients.'

But what for? Draco asked himself. I already have all the ingredients for the Milavr potion, all that matters is putting them together, correctly and swiftly. With another uncharacteristic sigh, Draco let his feet lead him as they would. He was surprised when he found himself standing before a shelf of books upon books of baby names. Without much thought, he reached for one of the books and sat down on the ground, perusing the names.

"Adish? No, too strange. Alan. No, plain. Amiri? That might work…" Draco muttered to himself. "Maemi is interesting. Makya, too. Tadeo? That's a nice name… Oh, but what if the baby is a girl? Brazil is a country, that won't do… Jalila, that's pretty. Ofira might do… but what about Odell?" This searching for names continued for some time, until Draco had filled up the parchment he had summoned.

"Mr. Malfoy, it's close to curfew. I highly suggest that you get back to your common room," Madame Pince said, coming down the aisle towards Draco. Draco nodded curtly to her and stored the parchment and quill in his robes. Rising, he started through the corridors until he once again reached the Fat Lady. Giving her the password, he entered and climbed the stairs to the dorm he slept in. Without so much as a glance at the Gryffindor boys, he climbed onto his bed and shut the curtains. The room fell into silence.

"How could he think we were having an orgy?" Ron asked after a while.

"The definition is four or more people on a bed without socks," Dean said. Seamus grunted from his bed. "And if you care to notice, that was us when he walked in."

"But…"

"Shut up," Harry grumbled in the dark. He could be heard shifting on his bed. The room quieted. Then:

"Harry?" Ron asked.

"What?" Harry replied.

"Are you alright?"

"Just ducky. Now shut up." Draco snorted. He would never get used to living with these people. They were just too strange.

TBC