AN: Chapter Thirteen on a golden platter! Thanks for reviews!

Chapter Thirteen

Gibbs woke suddenly but didn't move. He felt the warmth of another body curled neatly in his protective embrace. He opened his eyes to see Kate still sleeping. He studied here for a while, making sure not to wake her. He rolled slightly to glance at the clock and sighed. It was still very early in California. He closed his eyes in a feeble attempt to go back to sleep but the thoughts crowding his brain kept him awake.

He was awake at least another hour before he felt Kate stirring. He continued to hold her in a protective way but as he felt her waking he closed his eyes. He could feel all the uncertainty, the fear, the helplessness, the panic flowing through him. He didn't know how to deal with it; he was never good at that. He was always a brick wall, nothing got to him, and nothing affected him. This was too close though. This was his son.

Kate felt him next to her as she slowly came out of sleep. She stretched a little before opening her eyes to see him facing her with his closed. She took a moment to study him, and noticed the stress in his face. She reached out and stroked a hand through his hair. She wanted to be able to take all the pain from him and carry it for him. She hoped he would at least let her shoulder some of it.

"Kate, I feel helpless," Gibbs whispered with his eyes still closed. His sudden speech stunned Kate. She studied his face and waited for more, not sure how to breech the subject. He slowly opened his eyes. She saw the raw emotion explode and it struck her deep. She pulled him closer to her, his forehead resting against her chest. He seemed so small to her at that moment, so fragile. She had never thought she would have to be the strong one next to Gibbs. But here was the moment; she was going to have to be the wall for him.

They lay still for a while as she felt him shudder against her. She knew he was collapsing the walls around his heart and feeling the pain he had blocked for the past week. She also knew that no words could help him right now. He would have to deal with this internally for the moment. She would be there on the outside, his security blanket, the link to the world of sanity.

After almost an hour he pushed his head back so he could look at her. She smiled but didn't get one in return. He wet his lips and then the tears were in his eyes. Kate was a little startled at his show of emotion. She felt honored that he finally decided that he could "break down" in front of her.

"What if I lose him?"

"He's strong. He'll make…"

"You can't promise that. Jacob was strong too, Kate, he…"

"Jethro, this is different," she said softly. She started to run her hand gently through his hair. He closed his eyes again. She didn't know what else to say. It was another hour before Gibbs pushed himself away and sat up. He rubbed his face and looked around. Kate sat up and watched him. She didn't know how to react to him. He looked at the cups sitting on the night stand and grabbed for the half empty cup. He closed his eyes and dumped the cold thick liquid down. He grimaced and then tossed the cup in the garbage can.

"I could have bought you a new one," Kate said with a smile. Gibbs looked at her a moment before a grin broke out on his face. It was good to see him smile. She thought maybe he was going to be ok. He looked around the room and caught himself in the mirror. He winced then got up. He made his way into the bathroom and Kate heard the shower start up. She lay back on the bed and took a deep breath. She may have done it.

She was waiting for him to finish when her phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket. Upon checking the ID screen she saw it was NCIS calling. She frowned not wanting to answer it. The director had told her to be ready to be called back on a moment's notice. Kate didn't want to go back now, she was needed here. Finally she flipped the phone open.

"Todd," she said flatly.

"Wow, Kate, talk about coldness," Tony said cautiously into her ear. The smile spread across her face and she knew it was nothing serious. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sorry, Tony. Why are you calling?"

"McGee was worried about you and Gibbs, he thought we should check to see that everything was ok," he replied. Kate could almost see McGee's mouth dropping when Tony said it was his idea.

"Only McGee?"

"Ok, well Abby and Ducky were too," he said.

"Tony its ok to say you are worried too. But its ok because everything is going ok considering the situation and no need to worry," Kate replied trying to sound cheerful. Tony didn't bite but he also didn't push. His curiosity was killing him though.

"Kate, you'd tell us if something was wrong right?"

"Of course, Tony."

"So nothing is wrong?"

"Tony, when we know more I'm sure Gibbs will let you know," she replied, the tiredness creeping into her voice. She heard the shower shut off. "I've got to go, Tony, we'll let you know later ok?"

"Ok, Kate. Like I said McGee was worried."

"Yes, Tony, you said that. Bye now," she replied and closed her phone. She heard the door open as she slid the phone into her pocket. She turned and smiled as she saw a much more refreshed Gibbs coming out of the bathroom. He had on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He smiled to her.

"I need to talk to Jeb," Gibbs said softly. "You want to come with me?"

"I'll come with you, Jethro. Since you've been…I became part of your family." She said not wanting to mention his sulking. He just smiled at her and nodded. They left the hotel and Gibbs drove them towards Ann's house hoping that everyone was still there.

Ann was shocked to see them both and smiled as she saw the change in Gibbs. He pushed past her asking if Jeb was around. She just nodded and pointed towards the back yard. He went out to the back and Ann turned back to Kate.

"I wasn't sure if I should report you missing or be happy when you didn't tell me what happened last night."

"It just took a while for him to realize he was being a bastard," Kate replied with a smile. Ann smiled back and they both walked to the back yard.

Gibbs come out slowly and found Jeb sitting in a lawn chair watching Hunter play. The boy noticed Gibbs first and slowly came up to his grandfather, weary of the mood he had been in. Gibbs gave him a grin and Hunter grinned back and giggled. He then launched himself up and Gibbs caught him up in a hug. Jeb smiled. Once Hunter was down and playing again Gibbs pulled a chair next to Jeb. There was a little bit of silence between the two of them before Gibbs started to speak.

"Jeb, I…I want to apologize for…"

"Never say you're sorry," Jeb said quietly. That made Gibbs smile. This wasn't going to be as hard as he thought.

"I just didn't know how to deal with…"

"I'm glad Kate came into your life."

"You're not going to let me tell you are you."

"Listen, I know you didn't mean to be a bastard. I know you're a bastard by nature. I also know that you love me, and that you are scared of losing me like you did Jake. It's ok. I understand. Just don't be a bastard anymore, or I'll send Kate after you again."

"All right," Gibbs replied with a smile. He turned his head to see Kate coming out and he watched her. He was lucky he thought.

"Yeah, you are lucky," Jeb said, reading Gibbs' mind. Gibbs laughed out loud and Jeb joined him. They spent the rest of the afternoon together at Ann's house just passing the time. The tension of the situation was still there, but it was buried now as they came together to deal with this as a family.

It was late when Gibbs finally looked at Kate and asked if she wanted to go. She nodded and they said their goodbyes. Hunter was already asleep, so they left quietly for the hotel. When they got back they both dropped heavily into the bed. They were tired, but Gibbs was pretty sure that he would sleep this night.

"Thank you," Gibbs whispered to Kate as she was falling asleep. She smiled lazily and curled into him. He fell asleep thinking that things would be all right.

TBC…………