Disclaimer on chapter one.
AN: Thanks so much for all the reviews. They mean a lot and keep me writing.
Chapter Fourteen
Sunday was a slow day for all. It seemed to creep along and at times they felt the clock was actually moving backwards. Jeb started to feel the anxiety of the doctor visit tomorrow and he could feel the tension and stress from the others. He didn't know how to break it, so he stayed quiet most of the day. Hunter was the exception to the somber mood.
They figured it was he didn't fully understand what was happening, but he did. He just didn't want it to beat them. He wanted them to smile and be ok with it. He just didn't want to sit and be quiet.
Finally the day ended and Monday morning came. Jeb told them he wanted to get the results by himself and he promised to come straight back and let them know the outcome. He drove to Dr. Nash's office and arrived a little early. He was anxious to find out his fate. He was nervous of how he would face up to it. He was scared he was at the end. He took a deep breath and slid into the hard plastic chairs in the waiting area.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, and in reality was only seven minutes, Jeb saw Dr. Nash come out and look around the waiting area. Jeb sat up a little straighter and caught his eye. The look he got in return did not reassure Jeb. He started to feel sick to his stomach. Dr. Nash approached him slowly and stood in front of him a moment.
"Come on back, Jeb. Your results are back." The flatness of the doctor's voice had Jeb convinced, this was going to be bad. He started to second-guess his wanting to come alone. He started to want his family near. He started to tremble as he followed the doctor through the doors.
"Have a seat Jeb."
"It's bad isn't it?" He asked after sitting down on the end of the exam table. He folded his arms defensively across his chest and waited. He felt the tears already forming in his eyes and he swallowed and blinked to keep them at bay. Dr. Nash was almost avoiding his eyes and he knew this was something big.
"The prelim tests we did came back, Jeb, and its what I feared," Dr. Nash began. With each world Jeb felt his world grow smaller and smaller. He felt it grow darker and darker. He felt the control slipping out of his grasp. "Now nothing is definite but the tests prompt me to order a brain scan. I believe there is a serious possibility that you have a tumor in your brain, Jeb."
The words held little meaning at the moment. He was numb. He was in shock. He didn't feel much of anything not even the panic that had threatened to overtake him just moments ago. He stared blankly at the doctor. His mind had halted; there was no activity in his conscious self.
Dr. Nash waited. He was used to this kind of reaction from people, especially one as young as Jeb. He knew eventually it would soak in and he would either take it in stride or break down. Time would tell.
Jeb finally felt the feeling coming back to him. He shook his head slightly in disbelief. He wasn't sure how to react. He didn't know how he felt. He may have a tumor in his head. A mass of tissue that didn't belong could be growing somewhere in his head. He was afraid. He was terrified. He looked up at Dr. Nash.
"When do you want the test?"
"As soon as possible, Jeb. This is serious. I can see if I can get one scheduled for today. Sit tight I'll be right back."
Dr. Nash left the room and Jeb sat silently staring at the wall. He didn't know how he was supposed to feel. Fear. Anger. Resentment. Numb. Weak. All of these were running around in his head. Another eternity passed while Dr. Nash was away and Jeb couldn't help but hide in his head and try to figure out how to deal with the news he had just received.
Finally Dr. Nash came back in the room. He was writing on his clipboard and then scribbled something quickly. He then tore the piece of paper off and handed it to Jeb. Jeb looked at it but nothing registered in his mind. He was still in shock.
"Its an appointment at the hospital to get your head scanned. It's for two o'clock this afternoon. I recommend taking someone with you."
"Yeah. I think I might," Jeb mumbled as he continued to stare at the piece of paper in his hands.
"I talked to a Dr. Cliff Youngblood at the hospital. He is a top neurological surgeon and he has agreed to take you on as a patient, granted they find something on the scan."
"Ok," Jeb said softly. He looked up at Dr. Nash finally with empty eyes and took a deep breath. Then Dr. Nash saw the reality of the situation hit Jeb. The emotion of the trauma slowly made its way though his thinking and he could see the raw fear in the boy's eyes.
"Go home until your appointment. Tell your family. Keep them around you, Jeb; they will be your strength. I'm so sorry."
"You didn't give me the tumor, Doc," Jeb said with a small smile. He then nodded and slid from the exam table. Dr. Nash walked him out and both were silent. Jeb thanked him for the appointment and then left for home. He would have to face the truth now; he would have to tell them what was wrong.
Jeb didn't know what to do. He drove on autopilot back to his mother's house. He hoped everyone was there; he didn't want to have to explain it more than once. He pulled into the driveway and saw the rental car sitting there. He sat in the car a moment collecting what little thoughts he had. He stared at the paper looking to see if it had the answers. It didn't.
Finally he saw Gibbs appear in the doorway. Hesitant. Not knowing if he should come out or wait for Jeb to come in. He stood shifting his weight from foot to foot. No use putting this off any longer, Jeb thought. Now or never. He got out of the car and walked slowly up to the house, his eyes downcast, studying the dirt and cracks of the driveway.
He walked into the house passed Gibbs, still silent. Gibbs stood a moment then closed the door. Jeb looked around and saw Kate, Ann, and Kylie sitting somberly in the living room. He took a deep breath and felt a strong hand come down on his shoulder. He looked up at his father and felt the tears coming. He couldn't speak. He looked at the paper, and then handed it to Gibbs without explanation.
Gibbs took the paper and looked at it. He stared at it for a long time the meaning of the tests registering in his brain. He looked up at Ann and opened his mouth. Nothing came out. He looked at Jeb.
"This…this means…"
"Dr. Nash thinks it may be a brain tumor," Jeb whispered. The air was thick. The room was silent. Such a silence that it hurt Jeb's ears. He wanted someone to scream, to wail, to cough, anything besides the ear piercing silence.
"A brain tumor?" Kylie whispered with tears running down her cheeks.
"No," Ann said sternly and then the tears ran down her cheeks as well. Kate stayed silent she didn't know what to say, or how to comfort anyone. Gibbs pulled Jeb to him and held him tight against him. She could see the boy shaking as he came to grips with his situation. Gibbs had his walls up and remained strong. Kate wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but it seemed to feed Jeb strength. The boy pulled away and wiped his face.
"The test is later today. Dr. Nash suggested I have someone drive me."
"I'll take you," Gibbs said softly. He was staring at the paper again. Jeb nodded. Then he took a deep shaky breath.
"God, how do I tell Hunter?" Jeb said, his voice shaking with the stress. He looked at Kylie, then Ann, then up at Gibbs. Gibbs put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
"I'll tell him," Gibbs said softly and then he turned and left the house. Kate got up and followed him out the front door. Jeb slid into the seat next to Kylie and pulled her close. Ann scooted on the other side of him and put her arms around both of them.
Kate found Gibbs on the porch still staring at the paper. He was shaking, she would never tell anyone that, but he was shaking. She came up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his back. She felt him lean back into her embrace. They stood for a few minutes neither one talking, just standing in the embrace.
Finally Gibbs turned in her arms and looked down at her. He was still trying to hold the emotions in check, trying to be strong for Jeb. He knew he needed to be the anchor but he wasn't sure if he could. He felt the tug in his heart, the start of panic that he would lose his other son.
"We can get through this," Kate whispered up to him. He just nodded not sure what to say. He sighed and then broke the embrace with Kate. He sat down on the chair on the porch and stared at nothing.
The day crept along slowly and no one was talking. The news had shattered the spirits of everyone. Finally it was time and Jeb climbed into the car with Gibbs. Kate came out after them and slid into the back seat. Gibbs looked at her in the rearview mirror and she just gave him a look. She got no argument from him that she come along. He was actually grateful that she would be there, to help him be strong.
They arrived at the hospital and Jeb explained to the front desk he was to see Dr. Youngblood and let them look at his script for the test. They told him how to get to that part of the hospital and they made the slow journey through the twisting hallways following the blue lines on the floor.
Finally they came to a registration desk and Jeb presented his slip to the charge nurse. She read over it carefully and then pulled out a packet of papers that Jeb had to complete before his test. Jeb sat quietly in the corner chair and filled in all the required information while Kate sat silently beside him. Gibbs was pacing the floor like a caged tiger, making the charge nurse a bit nervous.
Jeb gave the nurse his paperwork and she told him that it would be a few more minutes but she would let the attendant know that he was ready. Jeb nodded and slumped back into a chair. The day was catching him and he was sure this was going to be one of the worst days in his life. He was still thinking about how Hunter would react when he heard his name called. They called him by his given name and both he and Gibbs looked up when the attendant called for Jethro.
Jeb smiled a small smile and then walked with the man through the doors. Jeb and Gibbs had decided, much to the argument of Gibbs, that Jeb go in for the scan alone. Kate had stepped in and asked Gibbs to respect Jeb's wishes. It was the end of the conversation in the car.
Gibbs resumed his pacing while Kate sat quietly in the chair watching him. The nurse was glancing up every few minutes to give a look to Gibbs. He was oblivious, and quite frankly, he didn't care. It seemed like days to Gibbs before Jeb came out with the attendant. They were told that Dr. Youngblood was reviewing the scans and would contact them when he had a diagnosis.
"Not today?" Gibbs asked suddenly.
"No, sir, not right now. It will take him time to read the scans…"
"You mean we don't even get to meet him today?" Gibbs said the anger flaring in his voice. Kate reached out and touched his arm and silenced him for the moment. The anger remained in his eyes. Jeb looked on with empty eyes from the side.
"I'm sorry, sir, I don't know when you'll get to meet him," the attendant said cautiously.
"Don't call me sir," Gibbs snapped then at Kate's urging turned and followed Jeb and Kate out of the hospital. By the time they got back to the house Hunter was home from school. Jeb sat in the car and stared at nothing. Kate was worried about him, but she saw Gibbs getting out and went to join him. Jeb stayed in the car.
Gibbs went in and found Hunter sitting in front of the TV, not really watching it. He was worried about everyone and Gibbs could tell. When he saw Gibbs and Kate he jumped up and gave the usual round of hugs to both of them. Gibbs then pulled him into his lap on the couch and stared at the boy.
"It's ok, Papa, you can tell me," Hunter said reaching up and wrapping his arms around Gibbs' neck. Tears came to Gibbs eyes and he swallowed hard to push them back. When Hunter came away from his neck and sat down again Gibbs was ready.
"Buddy, its about your uncle Jeb."
"He's sick," Hunter said softly.
"Yes, and the doctor thinks he knows what is wrong."
"What?"
"They think he has a tumor in his brain."
"Is he going to die?" Hunter whispered, the tears coming to his eyes.
"I don't know, Buddy, they are still trying to find it in his brain."
"I don't want him to die, Papa," Hunter said with tears falling from his eyes. Gibbs couldn't hold back anymore and the tears fell from his eyes too. He pulled Hunter tightly to his chest and held on. Kate was crying too as she laid a gentle hand on Gibbs shoulder. They sat for a while as Hunter cried into Gibbs' chest.
TBC...
A/N: All right so there you go finally you get to know the diagnosis is! My compliments go out to Depressed Hermione Malfoy for being the first to figure it out (or at least the bravest for venturing a guess!). More to come soon :-) I know pretty good tear jerker at the end here. dark rolling sea