AN: All right guys...long chapter here. Did it a little differently than past chapters. Its a big Kate chapter...also some twists wink. Thanks to all that reviewed and told me how much they love this story. I'm glad I've been able to reach out...dark rolling sea...oh yeah Neviwyn go ahead and breathe again...for a little while anyway...on to the story!
Chapter Nineteen
Washington
Kate went into NCIS for the second day. She was still irritable and tired. She hadn't slept in two days. She tried desperately not to take her frustrations out on the team, but they all understood now when she would snap at them. They tried their best to console her. She felt coddled. She didn't let them know that. Her mind was on California and all the reasons she should be out there.
She had an internal debate over the reasons to go and the reasons to stay. The biggest reason to stay was she LOVED her job. She loved being with the team and working the cases. Besides Gibbs had made it clear to her he didn't want her to ruin her career for him. How would he react now if she did do just that?
She was lost that day as she struggled to help with the case. Her mind was never with the team and it could cause some serious problems. Tony and McGee noticed right away and worked together to make sure nothing went wrong. They shared looks all throughout the morning wondering if they should say something, either to Kate or the director. They both believed she should be out in California. They could do the workload themselves, or even pick on a replacement for a while.
The day continued on, slowly. Kate was winding tighter and tighter with each hour as she debated wildly in her head the reasons for staying and the reasons for going. It tugged at her heart and she honestly didn't know what to do. She took her lunch a little early.
She didn't know what to do. She was conflicted over her job and her family. She was conflicted over how Gibbs felt. She knew he had expressively told her not to risk her career, if she did would she risk having him too? She couldn't bare losing NCIS and him, but it felt so wrong to stay when everyone needed her. She cried at lunch. She couldn't hold the pressure in any longer.
TonyTony sat at his desk twiddling a pencil trying to think of a way to cheer Kate up with out her biting his head off. He didn't want her to be down anymore, it was a drag on all of them. He had thoughts of going up and telling the director that she was better off on leave then here. They could either take the case themselves of they could barrow another agent, but he didn't actually do it. Instead he sat at his desk with a pencil and thought, coming up with nothing.
A tall figure stepped off the elevator and caught Tony's eye as he slowly came into the bullpen area scanning the desks. Tony stood and stared at the man curiously. He seemed to be searching for someone.
"Can I help you?" Tony asked. The man was in uniform and looked like he just stepped out of the press. There wasn't a wrinkle on him. His sandy blonde hair was cut in the typical marine cut, and his brown eyes were sharp. Tony stood behind his desk studying the man's face waiting for an answer.
The uniformed man studied Tony in return with his side slightly cocked to the side. He then shook his head no. Tony looked at him perplexed and stepped around his desk. He was about to say something more when the marine spoke up.
"No, I'm looking for Agent Kate Todd, but I guess she isn't here. Do you know where I can find her?"
"She's at lunch. Why you want Kate?"
"I'm sorry, Sir, but that is really my business and I'd like to discuss that with her."
"I'm not so sure, that…"
"It is really none of you business, Agent," the marine said suddenly and turned. "Which desk is hers? I'll wait for her there."
Tony pointed at Kate's desk and watched the marine suspiciously. He didn't like people springing surprises on him or the team. He watched the marine, who seemed oblivious about it, the entire time until Kate arrived back from lunch. They both looked up with the elevator arrived.
KateKate stepped off the elevator with her head down. She had done her best to fix her face after she had cried for most of the hour she was gone, but her eyes were still rimmed with red. She glanced around quickly and saw a strange man sitting at her desk. She quickly glanced at Tony and saw him staring suspiciously at the man. She took a deep breath and walked up to Tony's desk.
"Hey, DiNozzo, you replace me already?" She asked trying to force a smile. The smile didn't work.
"No, but he is looking for you, Kate. What's this about?"
"Don't know but I'm sure he will tell me," Kate said turning away from Tony and walking up to her desk.
"Can I help you?" Kate asked.
"Are you Agent Kate Todd?"
"Yes," Kate said suspiciously.
"I don't mean to be rude to your friends but is there someplace we can chat away from everyone else?"
"Who are you?"
"My name is Colonel Richard Donovan, Ma'am."
"Ok, Colonel Donovan, why are you here?"
"Ma'am,"
"Call me Kate."
"I'm a friend of Jeb's," he said quietly. The statement hit Kate and she only nodded. She didn't know what this was about but she would hear him out now. She thought about where they could find some privacy and motioned for him to follow her. She led them both from the building out to her car in the parking garage and then told him to get in the passenger side as she slid into the driver seat. He got in quickly and stared out the front window for a while.
"Is there something wrong?" Kate asked holding her breath.
"Besides the tumor in his head?"
"I just…sorry I just thought maybe something had happened and…"
"Listen, Kate, if something had happened I'm sure you would be the first one in Washington to know."
"I'm not so sure about that, Gibbs is…"
"The gunny is the gunny and no one can change him. You've done a hellava job, according to Jeb, of getting the walls down, but he still has that barrier around him that keeps people out."
"So why are you here?"
"I've been in contact with Jeb daily on the phone about this. He reached out to me at the beginning because of the way Gibbs first took the news. He needed someone to lean on. I gave him as much support as I could from here. But he wouldn't let me fly out there so I followed his wishes and stayed here. He was brighter when you joined the family in California. He was more upbeat, ready to fight this thing. He wasn't going to give in. Then he told me about how you turned Gibbs around and things were going good. I talked to him the other day and asked him how things were going and you should have heard the waiver in his voice when he said you had come back and Gibbs had…"
"Become a bastard again."
"Yeah. I don't know why you agreed to come back, Jeb didn't tell me. I know it's not my place and I'm probably out of line here, but Jeb might as well be my flesh and blood brother, but he needs you out there, and so does the gunny."
Kate stared crying again. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to go. She was lost. She was confused. She was torn.
"The director ordered me back to active duty. He was short staffed and I drew the unlucky straw because Jethro and I are not married. And it was Jethro that talked to the director and he told me to come back. He told me not to risk my career for him. What if I go back and I lose both?"
"Kate, I don't think that that would cause you to lose the gunny. I don't know for sure but from what Jeb has told me there is something strong between you and his father and he has never seen his father happier. Do you understand what that means?"
"I don't know what to do."
"What feels right? I know what I need to do and that's be there for my little brother. He weaseled his way into my heart when we were in the corps together and I can't let him go through this alone. I realize that he has family but when you think about it they are all going through this and sometimes they can't give support. He needs an outsider so to speak with him. I just thought that if you could come out you could help with the gunny aspect."
"Gunny aspect," she said with a laugh. "That's a good way of putting it."
"I know not many people know why he is the way he is but something happened to him to harden him. He just needs someone to soften the outer shell, and so far as I can tell from Jeb you do that when you are around him. I just think that it's better for everyone if…"
"I'm there."
"I know it's a big decision. You may lose you job and I can't ask you to do that. It's not my decision. I can save mine, but for you this is risking a lot. I just thought we should speak about it and see what you thought."
"I've been struggling for two days now with this decision, Colonel Donovan."
"Please, call me R. J. Every one else does."
"Ok, R. J. I've had an internal debate going on for a while. I've been trying to figure out what means the most in my life and what I could possibly do without. You know I love working for NCIS and I love my teammates as if they were family, but I can't sit here and let my family go through this alone. I can't sit forever away and hope everything turns out ok." Kate said closing her eyes. R. J. didn't speak he waited for her to make up her mind. "I have to talk to the director."
Kate got out of the car and headed back into NCIS. She didn't wait to see if Donovan was following her. She just went. He got out of the car and hurried to catch up to her. He walked briskly behind her as she marched into NCIS blew past her teammates and went straight up to the director's office. She knocked on the door and once inside slid the door shut. Director Morrow looked up at her expectantly and Kate decided to just jump in heads first.
"Director, I'm taking leave. This isn't a request and if it isn't granted I'm prepared to hand in my resignation effective immediately. I have a family emergency and I can no longer stay here in DC while my family goes through a living hell in California."
Director Morrow just stared at her. He had not thought she would pull this on him. He was sure she would stay here. He had grossly underestimated her. He just sighed looked away.
"I can't authorize anymore leave, Agent Todd."
"Then consider this my resignation," she replied coldly and turned and slammed the door behind her. Everyone at NCIS looked up when they heard the door slam but no one looked for long. Kate came up beside R. J.
"Come on we have a plane to catch," she said softly and she fought hard to hold back her tears. Donovan nodded and walked silently with her out of NCIS. When they got to the car Kate broke down and let the tears fall. Donovan gently put an arm around her and guided her to the passenger side of her car. She quietly handed over her keys to him and he drove them both with her directions to Kate's apartment.
She quickly packed a bag while Donovan waited and then they called a cab to go to Donovan's. Once there he hurriedly packed a small bag and then logged onto his computer and found two tickets on a flight to California that left in a few hours. They paid heartedly for the tickets but neither one complained. It was worth the price.
They made it to the airport. The entire time they were silent. They didn't need to speak. They both knew what the other was feeling. They made their flight and after hour after agonizing hour in the air they finally touched down in California. Kate told Donovan that she knew where to go and she told the cabbie how to get to Ann's house. They were on their way, they were going to make it through this, and they were going to help the family survive.
California
Gibbs
Gibbs sat miserably in his hotel room. He needed a break. He needed to escape. He needed to think. It felt so wrong not to have Kate by his side. He had the urge to pick up the phone and call her more than once. He couldn't. He couldn't even bring himself to admit the reason why he wanted to call her. He was lost.
How could he come to need someone? How could he come to depend on someone so much? Where in his path did he become one with her that it felt wrong to be apart? He felt so lost and didn't know how to fix it. He hadn't felt this way in a long time. He was strong. He was independent. He was self sufficient.
He was getting older he knew that. Life was simply passing by. He had a lot for a man his age. He had the love of his life, he had a wonderful family, and he had a solid job he loved. He was even building a boat. How could so much go so wrong so fast?
He began to think about what was most important in his life and place them in order. He kept finding himself returning to Kate, Jeb, and Hunter. They were foremost in his thoughts. They were the top aspects of his life. They were everything that held him together.
It was then, alone in a hotel room, in California, that he realized for the first time: he NEEDED Kate. He took a shuddering breath and felt his heart tug. He needed her by his side. He wouldn't be able to breathe without her in his life. He didn't know when it happened, maybe on Air Force One, but somehow she had become one with his being. They were merged. He couldn't even imagine the pain of losing her. He looked at the phone and finally picked it up. It was time to tell her. He dialed her at NCIS. He got her voice mail. He frowned. He dialed Tony and he picked up. Tony explained about the marine, the slamming of doors, and Kate leaving. Gibbs felt sick. He tried her cell phone, no answer. He tried her home, answering machine. He felt defeated. He felt suffocated and afraid. What had gone on? He sat on the bed in his hotel room and thought about his next move. He needed to contact Kate.
Jeb
Jeb stood silently on the porch of his own home. He had left his mother's house feeling a little trapped with everyone else around. Gibbs hadn't been there, he had disappeared again. His brother was still joking about putting the tumor on the mantle and his sister was avoiding everyone. Kylie had gone off to an appointment that Jeb hadn't known about but she wasn't forthcoming with information about it.
He was scared. He felt his world coming undone. He knew that there was a strong chance of his surviving and coming out of this with no complications, but there was always that underlying fear of: They are going to cut my skull open and poke around in my brain, then remove a mass of cells.
Fear. That was the emotion he harbored. But he knew that he was strong. He had survived the accident not so long ago and impressed the shit out of the doctors that said he wouldn't make a full recovery. He had impressed the Marine Corps when he beat men twice his size in man to man combat using his brain. He had always impressed people with his uncanny ability to survive. He would do it again. He would amaze them all.
He waited for Kylie who had told him she would come to the house after her appointment. He wasn't sure of what, but he was sure something else was going on with her. He saw her drive up after a few hours and he watched her come up to him at the house.
"Jeb, we need to talk. You need to sit down," she said softly. Jeb eyed her suspiciously. He took a seat on the railing and Kylie came up in front of him.
"What's up, Ky?"
"I have some news for you," she began as she studied his face. He was confused and she could see the hints of fear that something was wrong with her too. She smiled. "It's not bad news…just…you're going to be a father."
Jeb's jaw dropped. He wasn't prepared for that. He shook the shock from his head and wrapped his arms around Kylie. He pulled her close and tears ran down his face.
"I know it's not the best time to tell the news, but I just found out for certain today at my appointment. I'm one month along, Jeb, were going to have a baby," she said with a smile. Jeb smiled from ear to ear and hugged her close again. Yeah, he just might make it through this.
TBC…..
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