Chapter Eleven

End-Of-Party Awkwardness

Wario re-entered the party to find the multitude doing the Electric Slide, made even more literal because Crygor had wired the floor to zap people who messed up on the dance. He scanned the group to see if Mona was there, but she was nowhere in sight.

He headed glumly towards the chip table when 9-Volt spoke over the loudspeakers, "Ladies and gentlemen! Wario, the most ex-TREME dancer Diamond City has ever seen, has returned to the party!" This was met by cheering from the crowd. "Wario, join us and do the Electric Slide!"

"Shaddup, kid," Wario snapped. "Uh, I mean…. Ah, ha, ha! Perhaps later!"

"But later we'll be doing the Macarena," 9-Volt said.

"Even better!" Wario laughed with blatantly false exuberance and a dramatic wave of his hand. "Count me in!" However, truth be told, Wario felt nothing like dancing, or doing much of anything for the rest of the night. He just wanted to curl up with his giant Tree Zone Coin plushie and sleep the night away. He looked at his watch: it was already 1 in the morning.

He walked around the edge of the dance floor to 9-Volt's DJ stand and said, "Hey kid, can I borrow the mike for a minute?"

"Sure thing," 9-Volt replied, smiling brightly, but as Wario reached for the microphone, he pulled it away and said, "BUT! You must never tell my mother how far past my bedtime I've stayed up this night. She thinks I'm at a sleepover at 18-Volt's house. Deal?"

"Deal," Wario said, rolled his eyes, taking the microphone and said, "Attention, my loyal followers! This party will continue for one hour more! So dance and eat your hearts out until you can't anymore, because a party like this only comes along once every few months! Wah, ha, ha!" Dropping his false enthusiasm again along with the microphone, he headed towards the stairs.

He had one foot in the bathroom door when he stopped and turned his head; he thought he heard a faint sound coming from the guest room. After a few painful moments of deliberation, he shut the bathroom light and walked towards the guest room.

The door was slightly ajar, and Wario pushed the door open a bit more, and raised his jagged eyebrows. Mona was sitting on the couch, leaning on top of the massive amounts of coats, crying. She had her hands over her eyes, and her red cheeks revealed that she had apparently been crying for some time.

Wario was now in an extremely difficult situation. He had an idea why Mona might be crying; he had gotten a very peculiar feeling out on the terrace, kind of like a tingling in his ears, a whisper to his nose. If she had gotten that same feeling, and lost it like he had, they must be in similar moods right now. He felt he should go in and say something to her, but then again, the old chilidogs weren't going to wait forever.

Making a mighty decision, Wario cautiously stepped into the room and walked towards the couch. "Uh, Jimmy just wants me to get his girlfriend's coat," he lied. He stood for a minute more, rocking on his heels uneasily. He hoped she'd look up soon, but she didn't, and Wario had to follow up on his lie by taking a random coat from the pile. Before turning away, he looked left and right and said nervously, "Er… if it makes you feel any better, I'm mad at Dribble also."

"Why?" Mona asked through her tears, still not looking up.

Wario felt somewhat on the spot. "Er… for the same reason you are, I think," he replied.

"Don't you even know?" Mona sniffled, finally taking her hands from over her eyes.

"Well," Wario said uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck as Mona stood up. "We were…having a nice little chit-chat, and, well, um…" he began to sweat, his forehead perspiring more and more as Mona took a step towards him. Finally he blurted out, "And, I figured we were going to get around to talking about bacon after a while? I don't know…"

Mona made a disgusted face. "You're an idiot," she said before grabbing his arm, pulling him close and kissing him.

Wario's eyes went wide, and for several moments it felt like he was floating on a cloud… a big marshmallow cloud topped with mayonnaise. He was vaguely aware of Mona putting her arms around him for several seconds before stepping back and looking at him with shining eyes.

Wario swayed on his feet, murmured "Ay ga valt!" and fell backwards onto the couch.