AN: Whoo hoo. I finally got my butt moving and wrote chapter 24! Hope you enjoy, its a little light but it's all I could muster. Still working on getting it to go where I want! Hopefully it will pick up more from here on out. Enjoy! dark rolling sea.
Chapter Twenty Four
Gibbs was still awake when the sun came up. He gently removed himself from the bed and went out on the balcony to watch it rise. His mind was still scrambling about with a million different thoughts. He turned and leaned against the railing on the balcony and closed his eyes. Everything had changed so much in the last two weeks.
He heard noise coming from inside the room. He slid the doors open and stepped through them, seeing Kate coming out of the bathroom. She smiled at him, but he could see the stress in her face. He knew he must look atrocious.
He felt her eyes study him and he felt self conscious suddenly. He didn't know why. He looked away. She continued to watch him as he felt his emotions jam and collide. He knew he wanted to tell her everything he had thought about last night, but when the time came, he just couldn't form the words. He didn't know how to tell her.
She stepped closer to him and he felt himself grow nervous. It was new for him, he didn't know nervous. He concentrated on breathing. In…release…in…release…slow and steady. His mind floated back to his thoughts last night and the previous days when he realized how much he needed Kate. Why couldn't he just tell her? He didn't know.
Finally she was standing in front of him still studying his face. She reached up and rubbed a thumb under his eye. He looked at her. He knew she could tell he hadn't slept. He could see she was worried about him. He wished he could spill his heart to her, let her know everything that went through his mind while she was asleep last night.
"You didn't sleep last night," she said quietly. Gibbs only nodded. He couldn't find his voice. He knew he just needed to start. He just needed to break through that last wall. He needed to let her in, take the chance.
"No. Had a lot on my mind."
"Care to share?"
"I…" he couldn't finish. He wanted to say it but he just couldn't bring himself to say it. He decided to take the safer subject instead. "I was just thinking about Jeb, Hunter, and work. I was thinking how Jeb was going to be a father but might not get to enjoy it. I thought about how much this would affect Hunter. I thought about life in Washington. I thought…"
"You did a lot of thinking," she replied. He took a deep breath and looked up at her. It was a defining moment in his life. Here and now he could make the choice. He searched her eyes for a moment and she stood still letting him. There was no judging, there was no fear, and there was nothing but love staring at back at him. He smiled.
"Kate, let's get married," he said in a whisper. As soon as it escaped, the panic hit him. He hadn't thought it would come out. He didn't know what she'd say. This was not the place or the time to think about this.
His words knocked Kate back for a moment. Did he really just say what I think he said, her brain screamed. She was in shock. She hadn't expected that from him. She had heard him before they were together vow that he would NEVER marry again. Three failures were enough for him he had said. She saw the panic reach his eyes and she knew she needed to say something fast. She needed to let him know her silence was in no way a rejection. She just couldn't find her voice. She smiled and tears formed in her eyes. He held his breath. She fought her brain for it to function. Finally she found her voice.
"Jethro," she said in a whisper. "Yes," she said a little more boldly. She then nodded because she couldn't think of anything else to say. Gibbs let out the breath he was holding and stepped into Kate and embraced her. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. He kissed the top of her head.
Jeb had woken early that morning and gone out on the porch to think. He heard movement in the house and shortly Donovan joined him on the porch. They were in silence for a few moments, Jeb sitting in the chair and Donovan leaning on the railing. Donovan finally turned around and faced Jeb.
"Something on your mind, R. J.?"
"You."
"How so?"
"Worried. I might lose you. I don't think I'm ready for that."
"I'm a marine, Colonel. I won't go down without a hellava fight."
"I know that, but this enemy might just…"
"It's a chance, R.J. I know that, you know that, everyone knows that."
"Remember right after we first met, you were this skinny little quiet kid that no one really knew anything about. You and Kylie's brother…Colton…yeah the two of you were mysteries in basic. You slid through Pendleton without notice and no one really knew what you were capable of. Then they assigned you to my unit. Everyone thought that with your bodyguard gone that they could pick on you.
"And you let it happen. You just let them pick on you constantly. I never understood how you could just sit there and take the constant berating that they gave you. But you took it in stride and it never affected you. Then came the hand to hand combat sessions. I remember the first time you drew an opponent. What was his name….big kid, Chris German wasn't it? (Jeb nodded.) You were so confident going in. I feared I'd be taking you to the infirmary afterwards. And he was just cocky as hell, being two times bigger than you and stronger. But you showed him and the rest that muscle doesn't always win. I'm still not sure what the hell you did to knock him down, but it was the quickest win I had ever recorded in those sessions.
"This…this is different. You can't see your opponent, Jeb. This one isn't seeing the weakness and exploiting it. This you have to put into someone else's hands. And again I find myself amazed at your ability to take it in stride."
"Can I let you in on a secret?" Jeb said with a smile brewing. Donovan could see he was recalling a memory.
"Of course."
"That day, when I went up against German? I was fucking terrified. My god was I scared shitless. I mean shit that guy was what six three maybe more, and a good two hundred twenty pounds. You know he played linebacker in high school. I wasn't sure if I could beat him, but I knew that I had one thing going for me. I was smarter than him. You thought I was as confident as could be but inside I was really shitting my pants."
"Couldn't tell," Donovan said with a smile.
"Same now. I'm scared out of my mind, R. J. I don't know if I can beat this. But I have too. I'm going to be a father in eight months. I've got to take care of Hunter. I've got to be here for him. I can't let him lose…"
The tears stopped him from finishing. Donovan only nodded. There was nothing more to be said. They would try their best and fight the fight they could, but ultimately they both knew it was no longer in their hands.
Gibbs broke the contact between them and pulled back. She looked up at him and smiled. He nodded. He then looked at his watch and sighed. Kate put a hand to his face and forced him to look at her.
"What?"
"I…I need to call Washington."
"Why, what is it?" Kate was concerned now.
"No, nothing, Kate, it's I owe…I need to talk to the team." Kate nodded. She knew this was coming. She wanted to let him know she had already talked to them a little.
"They know a little, Jethro. When I was back I…I told them what was wrong with Jeb."
"Ok," he said quietly as he dialed Ducky. He waited for Ducky to pick up. "Ducky, it's Jethro. Can you gather the team in the morgue for me?...Call me back when you get them together….thanks, Ducky."
Gibbs hung up the line and waited. The room was quiet while they waited for the phone to ring. It was an agonizing wait for them. Finally the phone chirped and Gibbs flipped it open. It was Ducky calling back.
"Ok, Jethro, we are all here. I have you on speaker phone so everyone can hear," Ducky said.
"I wanted to call and let you guys know what was going on. I'm sorry I didn't let you know sooner, but things have been….crazy out here," Gibbs said.
"It's ok, bossman," Abby said cheerily.
"Thanks, Abbs. Listen. I don't know when I'll be back but I wanted to let you know that the reason I took leave was my son has a brain tumor. We just found out and well he also just found out that he will need surgery and soon. They are looking for the end of the week. I know that Kate already told you the details of the tumor, but I wanted you to hear it from me. Also the doctor thinks that only surgery is needed and that he won't need prolonged chemo or radiation," Gibbs continued.
"If you need any thing, Boss, we're here," Tony said sincerely.
"Thank you," Gibbs said. He fielded a few minor questions from them and then disconnected the call. He tossed the phone down and drew in a deep breath.
"Feel better?" Kate asked.
"Yeah," he said.
"How come you left out this morning's new?" Kate asked with a smile.
"I'd like to tell the other part of my family first," Gibbs said with a smile.