Okay, here we are again. No this is not the end of this fic, no matter how final the end of the chapter sounds. The first to chaps were basically to set up a background, and an anthem, ya kno? N.E.wayz, enjoy.
Much luv
The Deni Pie
T h e E l e c t r a Co m p l e x
Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me
And speak but don't pretend I won't defend you anymore you see
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for you
My eyes don't need to see that ugly thing, I know it's me you fear
If you want me hold me back
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"
I don't need a friend, I need to mend so far away
So come sit by the fire and play a while, but you can't stay too long
It aches in every bone, I'll die alone, but not for pleasure
I see my heart explode, it's been eroded by the weather here
If you want me hold me back
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"
Hold your eyes closed, take me in
Hold your eyes closed, take me in
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"
Frail, the skin is dry and pale, the pain will never fail
And so we go back to the remedy
Clip the wings that get you high, just leave them where they lie
And tell yourself, "You'll be the death of me"
"Remedy" - Seether
It was just sex. That was all. Insert tab 'A' into slot 'B' and repeat. No big deal. It began shortly after Jin had asked for the ryu, which the bastard still had yet to pay him back for, to buy some woman or another. If he had to guess, it was probably a week after that incident. Not that he was paying that much attention to it, but she began to act differently. Mostly around Jin, he noticed. She fidgeted more, sent more glimpses at the stoic man when she thought no one was looking, she also seemed more depressed. She didn't have so much of that optimistic energy that usually surrounded her. He teased her about it, of course. Fuu was sniffing after Jin like a panting bitch in heat and it was funny to watch.
It was late and thanks to his 'financial expertise' they could afford a room to spend the night in. Mugen didn't know why the hell they had to get so pissy about where he got the money; the point was that he got it. What the hell difference did it make where it came from? The way he saw it was that if a man couldn't manage to hold onto his money then he didn't deserve it to begin with.
They were all exhausted and had practically collapsed onto the floor upon entry. Years of piracy and increasing attempts for the bounty on his head had made him a light sleeper. At the sound of shuffling, an obvious endeavor to not wake the other occupants in the room, he lazily opened his eyes to see Fuu quietly making her way out the door. He sent a glare at the other dozing tenant, seeing as how he obviously didn't intend on getting his snowy ass up anytime soon. Mugen gave a dramatic show of sighing exasperatedly, purposefully making as much noise as he could while exiting, if he wasn't going to get any sleep then no one was.
She was out of sight by the time he slid open the door, though it didn't take him long to find her. The blaring pink of her robes stood out in the sugarcane field like a cow's ass. He stood on the edges, half hoping the farmer of the clearing would save him the trouble and chase her out himself. But, Gods forbid anyone else do any fucking work around here. He thought irritatedly. Walking up behind her he was a little surprised she couldn't hear him until he was practically looking over her shoulder.
"What the hell are you doing?" He asked drowsily. There was no way this was worth the sleep he was loosing over it.
He watched her give a small start, rounding on him before recognizing his voice. Tossing a glance at the tears still drying on her face, he wondered what the hell was she crying over now? Mugen was very rarely caught off guard. The ground underneath him could abruptly caved in and he still would have been bracing himself for it. But nothing could have prepared him for Fuu suddenly throwing herself at him with enough force to knock him to the ground. His back hit the foliaged floor with a loud grunt, her arms tight around his neck, lips prying his open and tongue darting inside to twist and pirouette over his own.
Easily throwing her off, his arm came up to swipe away the dribble of unknown saliva trickling down his unshaven chin. He looked at her like she had lost her mind, and Fuu was quick to assume and accept his refusal, rising to her feet with angry humiliation before a calloused hand darted out, snatching her ankle and yanking her to the ground. She yelped, her body smashing to the grass with a heavy 'thud!', not having enough time to cry out as she was dragged over the prickly cane and aggressively hauled under a leering Mugen. His fingers brusquely digging into the folds of her robes, he all but tore them from her shoulders, shoving them to bunch at her waist.
It was the same, but different. It was the same sex he normally had, with the women he bought and the women he persuaded. He knew no gentle thrusts, no soft caresses, no sweet kisses. Fighting was the same as fucking to him. And in that aspect, this encounter was just like all the others. His hands eagerly grabbed, squeezed, and seized any patch of pale, feminine skin he laid eyes own, harshly and without hesitation. Red, gray and beige fabric flew from his body like the criminal he was, Mugen hurriedly pressing his naked flesh to hers. Dry lips and wet teeth bit and gnashed at her neck, collar bone, and descending still. Mugen pillaged a woman's body the same he would a cargo ship. Brutally, without mercy, and forcefully taking whatever he could lay his hands on. In that sense, fucking Fuu was the same as all screwing anyone else.
Lifting her thin legs, he brought them up with him as he pushed his chest to what little breasts she had. And she scratched, bit, and dragged her nails down his chest, leaving prominent red lines and blisters in their wake. And in that she was different. For Mugen, fucking, like fighting, couldn't be done without a little pain and most women, even the bought ones, either complained or lay their enduring it. Fuu cursed, spit, and hissed like an angry cat. For some reason she kept trying to turn them over, kept trying to move on top, and many times Mugen had to assertively push her back to ground, using his weight to press her into the grass and sugarcane. He had always taken what he wanted from a woman's body, but Fuu fought him thrust for thrust like a hated enemy. And that made it different.
She was hot, wet and impossibly tight. But she wasn't a virgin, and he couldn't help being a little surprised. Easily shrugging it off he hiked her knees over his shoulders and sunk into her like his blade into a beaten opponent. He panted and gasped in ecstasy, his bronzed skin shining with a thick sheen of sweat. Rough fingers squeezed her thighs, promising sweet bruises of black and blue the following morning. Her hips rolled awkwardly up to meet his, keeping up with his pace the best she could. Mugen cried out, clenching his eyes shut at a particular intense thrust.
He felt her pelvis move against his in wild abandon, completely ignoring the rhythm he had set. Her muscles clamped down on him, squeezing him, killing him, and driving him absolutely insane. Driving harder into her dripping heat, he sucked in a deep breath, letting it hiss through his teeth as his body went as taunt as a bowstring. He gave a few more powerful thrusts, riding out his orgasm like a wave before collapsing onto her. Panting and gasping for air he forgot to let her legs go from his shoulders, trying to steady his breath and heartbeat.
Fuu recovered shortly before he did, pulling her knees away from his grasping fingers, she let them flop onto the dirty floor beneath her. He smirked, lifted his head up long enough to lazily trail his tongue up her throat, licking away the sweat drops he found there. She tasted irresistibly of salt and addiction. Mugen sighed, satisfied and tired, returning to rest his head on her chest. Oddly enough, he found that small breasts made for a more comfortable pillow than the bigger ones.
His eyes were barely closed when he felt her small hands pushing at his shoulders. Blinking tiredly he rose to give her an irritated look for the disturbance, but she only used the given room to crawl out from underneath him, standing up to right her kimono. "Where the hell are you going, now?" He drawled, yawning sleepily. Mugen sent her a lazy glare when she didn't' bother to answer him, glowering at her back as she walked through the cane field toward, what he guessed, was their room.
What the hell happened to women being tired after awesome sex? Shrugging it off he turned on his back, languidly resting in the grass. Idly scratching his chest he decided it was better this way, girls tended to get a little needy after fucking, at least he didn't have to deal with that with her. It was just sex. No big deal.
Fuu was already asleep, lying beside the window when he finally got around to going back. Glancing at Jin, he noticed how the samurai tensed, eyes still closed, when he came in. It was no surprise that he was a light sleeper too. He obviously knew it was Mugen and relaxed, going back to sleep. The pirate snorted at the casual dismissal and went back to his own spot in the room, finding a comfortable position before giving into fatigue.
It was a good while before their next encounter. Neither one of them mentioned it and went on pretending it never happened. But Mugen continued to send glances her way, wondering whether or not this was going to be a reoccurring thing or if he was going to have to go back to wasting money on women. It would be more convenient if she would get her sorry ass off that high horse of hers and let him get her alone. It would definitely save them a deal of direly needed money. Everyone else seemed to be making sacrifices for this little quest of hers, why couldn't she?
The pretending finally ended the night Mugen stole her diary. Burning the bitch's memoirs wasn't as satisfying as he had hoped it would be, seeing the pages writhe and blacken in the destructive flames didn't give him the gratification he deserved. If she thought he was nothing more than an ugly, low-class delinquent then why the hell did she spread her legs for him like some wanton whore. He snorted; the little stuck up snob wasn't as classy as she pretended to be. She could sympathize with a drug dealer holding a knife to her throat and a fag of an artist trying to pimp her off to some horny Europeans, but it was him that she was so ready to think the worst of. He decided that he didn't care. Why should he care that the little bitch didn't like or trust him. But it wasn't that, that got to him. It was what she wrote about Jin. They were just words, but they were the hurt feelings of a girl in love, or infatuated, whatever. She had wanted to talk to Jin, for him to open up to her, to be closer to him. She found him attractive. Mugen wanted to tell him about the night in the cane field, and had he found just the littlest bit of requited affection, he would have. Just to take the wind out of the clammy bastard's sails. But Jin only stared blankly at the paper as if he were reading no more than a restaurant menu. Curiously, he asked him how he felt about it, as a man. As usual he got no response, not one that a man enamored would have given anyway.
Mugen ignored the samurai's complaints of his destroying someone else's property, his eyes watched each piece of paper curl and wither in agony. No, it wasn't as satisfying as he had hoped. More needed to be done. He contemplated tossing her prissy little tanto knife into the fire as well. Mulling that idea over in this head for a few minutes he decided that wasn't enough either. It still didn't bring the retribution his contempt was demanding at the moment. Roughly jerking to his feet he mumbled "I'm gonna go take a bath."
"Fuu is still in there." Jin replied calmly.
"Fuck Fuu!" He spat, not even pausing in his step.
As usual, the stoic man was right. And as usual, Mugen didn't care. He could vaguely make out Fuu's shape through the fog and steam from the spring. Tugging off his clothes and still feeling the need for a bit of reprisal, he ran, jumping into the water in front of her.
Fuu gasped, jolting up as waves flung themselves at her in aggressive splashes. Her arms darted across her chest, apprehensively seeking out her intruder. She let out a startled scream when Mugen suddenly popped up from the water at her feet, sending more flying drops of water in her face. "MUGEN!" She shrieked furiously at him, ripping the towel from her head to place it protectively over her front. "What do you think you're doing! Get out of here!" She shouted, pointing at the exit.
He paid her no mind, wading past her to the spring wall he sank comfortably into the water, leaning his back against the rocky ledge. His arms came to rest on the edge, relaxing his head back, nonchalantly opening one eye to see her still glowering at him heatedly. He snorted, noticing her still guardedly clutching the silly towel like a shield. "Not like you've got anything to hide." He jeered. "Anyway, I've seen it all before." He said, casually picking at his ear.
She fumed, practically shaking with wrathful thoughts when he made no move to leave. "Mugen. Get. Out. NOW!" She growled.
"Maybe if you had just washed your scrawny ass and quit hogging the bath I wouldn't of had to come in here." He yawned, closing his eyes and sliding deeper into the steaming spring.
"Fine! I will! Just leave so I can get out!"
"Nah, too late for that now." He crooned, leisurely putting his arms behind his head.
Fuu subdued herself with pleasant thoughts of punching him in the face and kicking him in more tender places. Making an irritated noise she began to wade over to the bathing house.
Mugen's eyes slid open a fraction when she made to pass him. His hand snapped out, snagging the edge of her precious towel, giving it a hard yank out of her grasp. She shrieked as the cold air hit her skin, arms once again flinging themselves around her chest. He watched her drop into the water up to her rips, whipping around to glare daggers at him, full of violent promises. He eyed her indifferently, ignoring her rage. "Stop being so fucking dramatic. I told you, I already saw it all."
"And hopefully you would've never seen it again!" She hissed.
He glowered at her before lunging forward, his arms going over her head to thoroughly dunk her. A smirk slid over his face when she came up spurting, spitting, and gasping for the breath she didn't take before. That had felt better than burning the stupid book. Crossing his arms in front of him he stared her down as her hands continued to childishly cover her intimate parts. "If you wanted to fuck Mr. Tight-ass so badly, why didn't you just go to him instead?" He sneered.
"Oh shut up! You don't even know what you're talking about!" She bit back, turning on her heel to tread to the bathhouse, making sure to keep the water above her hips.
Mugen watched her stupid attempts to hide her not-so-private-areas from his eyes as she rounded herself away from him.
Fuu cried out, her elbow being swiped from behind, harshly jerking her up from the spring and hauling her against a hard chest. Her face turned vicious, when wiry arms swooped around her to pin her to a bronze body. "Have you lost your mind! Let me go!"
"What's wrong, Fuu? Not attractive enough for you, too much of a low-class delinquent to be friends with?" He jeered at her, tightening his grip. He wasn't really all that mad anymore. Who could be mad with a wet, naked, girl shoved up against them? He was just playing with her. She didn't have to be such a bitch about it.
She hated that leer of his, wanted to wipe that stupid grin off his face. "As a matter of fact, YES!" She snapped, pounding his chest with her tiny fists.
He only laughed at her, abruptly pressing her against the jagged spring wall. Her eyes widened at his shamelessness, lifting her small frame enough to let her feel him against her. A familiar hardness pushed into her as he suggestively rocked himself against her stomach. "don't you dare!" She hissed in a low voice. Jin was too close, much too close.
Giving a little snicker he playfully nipped at her ear, lowering her down close enough for her folds to touch the tip of him. "Aw c'mon, you're the one who forced herself on me. I just want a little justice, that's all. I'm feeling very taken advantage of."
"Mugen, I swear I'm going to kill you!" She growled pummeling at his unmoving shoulders.
The pirate licked his lips sliding her even lower. "You're doing a bang up job of it already." He breathed naughtily into her ear. Yanking her hand back, Fuu brought it down across his face, content to see his head snap back with the force of it.
And just like that, he had her wrists pinned above her head in a blood-clotting grip. Leaving his other fingers free to part her legs, lifting one up around his waist as he plunged her down onto his throbbing member. Once again she was kicking, and fighting him stroke for stroke, silently mouthing what he could only guess were biting curses aimed at him and probably the mother he never knew.
He came, hard; with a gasp and a cry poised on the tip of his tongue. Her walls shuddered and clamped down on him like a hungry mouth and he noticed her biting her lip, blood trickling down her chin, as she made the extra effort to keep quiet. They slid limply down the stony wall and deeper into the spring, water surrounding them up to their necks. Mugen observed the redness slowly trailing over her bottom lip mixing and diluting with the water gathered there. Diving in, he angled his mouth over hers, worrying the tender flesh between his lips, his tongue forcing its way past her defenses and into the moist caverns of her mouth. It wasn't a tender kiss, if it could even be called that. It held no ardor, no affection. It was more of a 'fuck you' kiss, made to dominate the spoils of a battle, over a prize conquered. And she accepted it, letting his tongue draw mindless patterns on the roof of her mouth.
Finally their breathing slowed, their hearts returning to normal. Like the last time, she pushed him away from her, turning and heading back to where ever was the farthest away from him. It was hard to be offended when endorphins were running through your body and the after-sex glow still softened the edges your vision like a drug. He leaned back, pushing off the wall to float comfortably on his back. Mugen sniggered, hooking his foot around Fuu's ankle and childishly tripping her. She didn't turn to glare at him, or yell at his immaturity like he thought she would. Instead, the chocolate haired girl simply regained her balance and climbed out of the water, shivering when the air hit her skin as she walked into the bathhouse. Mugen frowned in the direction she had taken. Hmph! Leave it to her to ruin the mood. Lazily backstroking around the spring, he chose to forget about her for the time being.
The next morning he caught Fuu mixing something together in a cup. It smelled horrible and he cringed when she poured the green hued liquid down her throat. He asked what it was and told her she had shit breath now. Jin glanced up at the commotion and Fuu yelled at Mugen to mind his own business, he wasn't the one who was drinking it. And she continued to drink it, once every morning and once every night. It took him a while, but upon further inspection he discovered that the strange tea was the same formula used in most brothels. It acted as a decent contraceptive.
After that, Fuu grew more receptive of his attentions. And as a direct result, he felt empowered to increase that courtesy. But Fuu was a strange girl, every time he thought he had figured her out, she had a new angle to show him. Some angles better than others. He started going to her more. When they had to camp outside she would wait for Jin to fall asleep, before getting up and quietly creeping deeper into the forest, far from their camp sight. And he would follow. Mugen would give a few minutes head start and then track her down. It seemed every time they had to sleep outside she would trail further and further from camp, as if she simply couldn't get far enough away. He didn't understand it, but he didn't argue with it.
Mugen stopped trying to get his share of the money for rooms. Fuu would always shove his hands away with one sorry attempt at an explanation or another when they got boarding for the night. Whenever they reached a village and would try to raise enough to pay for somewhere to sleep he always came back empty handed with a half-assed excuse. He doubted they actually expected him to work for money anyway. He wasn't sure why she was less inclined to his advances when they actually had a decent place for them for once, but he had a feeling it had something to do with Jin. Maybe carrying on their little activities so close to her precious samurai was too much for her.
Lately, though, she had stopped even giving him explanations, and now just told him, none to kindly, to leave her alone. And he was growing tired with her pissy attitude. Oh it was fine and dandy when she wanted to fuck, but Gods forbid she actually roll over and make the effort when he wanted some. Fed up with her fickle moods, he began to look for women again, wasting any money he was supposed to be making for their journey on brothels and sake. It was more to irritate her but he was always the one who left incensed and thoroughly riled. He would whisper his suggestions for their evening's events in her ear and when she would brush him off he would promptly stand up and head towards the door, if she didn't want his propositions then he could easily find someone else who did. Upon returning he would always tell Jin about his specific activities with the specific someone or someone(s), paying close attention to breast size and other such endowments that Fuu lacked, making sure to increase in detail and volume as the one sided conversation continued.
Finally, he decided that if she wanted a Mr. Too-high-and-mighty-to-pull-the-stick-outta-my-ass so bad, she was welcome to it. While his mind made the decision, his body had a hard time obeying it. Somehow, every night he always managed to edge himself close enough to snake his hands into her robes. Sometimes he was successful, sometimes not so much. Either way he kept finding himself following her into the woods, or convincing her with his fingers and mouth to shut up for once and roll over. Giving up the fight he decided he didn't care, it was just sex. No big deal. If he didn't get it from her then there was usually an open brothel somewhere nearby.
He remembered the day it changed, and the night he realized it. Mukuru had betrayed him, again. And he had been stupid enough to fall for it. Washing up on the shore, half dead, his vision blurred and then he heard her. She was no more than a blur of pink and brown with tears running down his face. "Mugen, it can't be." She had sobbed. He wished, then, that he hadn't been so hasty in burning her precious little diary. He was curious to see what she would have written about him now. With that thought in mind he had coughed up the water moving like bile in his lungs before he lost consciousness. Her arms wrapped around him, dragging him to some shelter he still didn't know about. He had to try harder to stifle a laugh when she removed his wet clothes, hanging them to dry like a little housewife. For the first time in his life he felt safe, cared for. When Fuu got up, his hand darted to catch her wrist, pulling her back to him. He didn't want her to go, didn't want to loose that safeness, but now that he had it he had something to protect. After telling her he was hungry she had rushed off to find food, like a frantic mother bird. And he rose with things to settle and debts to repay. Mugen had never felt guilty in his life, but he imagined that the little pang in his chest was what it would feel like when he pictured her reaction to coming back and finding him missing. But he had things to do and he would deal with her wrath later.
That night, Mugen lay on his own futon in nothing but his pants in a room all his own. He was grateful that they finally managing to get their own boarding. They had used Mugen's injuries, granted they exaggerated them greatly, top play the owner's sympathy card. He was glad to have a room away from Jin for once, wanting to let his guard down for the night. He felt physically and emotionally drained. He had been tricked, no, he had let himself be tricked. And almost lost his life over it. He had never imagined himself dying over something so stupid. He would either die by his own hand or bested by an opponent. That was the only way. He hoped Kohza was in hell right now, the pathetic bitch. His eyes clenched shut, teeth gritting in his mouth, he wouldn't think about them, they didn't deserve it. 'Fuu-chan must be happy……she gets to be with you.'
For some reason he didn't like Kohza talking about Fuu. He didn't want her involved in that part of his past, or preferably any part of it. Thinking of her now he remembered how she had fretted and coddled over him when he returned, only after she had screamed about him rushing into a fight after a near death experience, how stupid he was, how the water probably got into his brain, blah blah. But for once, she walked next to him, close to him, sending nervous glances at him. And it had felt nice, though he'd sooner lick Jin's ass than tell her that. Well, maybe he wouldn't go that far. He sighed defeatedly. Sleep wouldn't come easy tonight.
He remembered how he rose to his feet with the intent of walking off his insomnia. But oddly enough his feet led him down and across the hall to her room. He stood there outside the door for what seemed like forever. He had never had a family, real friends, anyone who gave a remote damn about him. And it had never bothered him before, he never really thought about it until he was sinking in the ocean, until they were trying to carry him off to hell. He had never cared about a world that would do just fine without him in it. Fuck the world, and fuck whatever God had a problem with him. With the way he was going, when he died God would never have to deal with him again so what the fuck did he care anyway?
But he didn't want to die. He didn't want to die alone, forgotten, with no one to mourn his passing. And he didn't, he washed up on the beach, winded and hungry, but okay. Maybe whoever was up there wasn't such an asshole after all. Not only that but she had found him. She told him she had searched all night for him. He didn't know what to say to that, or how to feel, knowing someone would cry if he weren't there. Knowing someone would actually be affected, negatively, by his death. He had done nothing to deserve it. He didn't owe her money or anything. The image of her hovering over him, so close, and him simply telling her he was hungry, came unbidden to mind. He wished he had kissed her instead. It seemed like the better thing to do, too bad he hadn't thought of it then.
Before he could stop them, his fingers curled around the door, sliding it open and letting the light pour in to form a long, slanted, yellow box on the floor, bending up half of the wall on the other side of the room. The glow flowed over Fuu's stomach, unlike him and Jin, she was not a light sleeper. Closing the door, his bare feet padded across the room to the edge of her futon. She didn't snore. He was surprised. Casually throwing one leg over her, Mugen lowered himself until he sat straddling her hips. Still she didn't wake and he took the time to look at her. She lay on her back, one arm curled by her cheek, the other bent over the shape of her head, on her hair which splaying loosely around the pillow and onto the floor like a vat of spilled ink.
Mugen leaned over her, grasping her shoulder and giving it a little shake. Her mouth opened in a groan of protest before turning her head into the other arm. Giving her another, harder, shake she finally turned to him, her eyes blinking exhaustedly and squinting into the darkness. She didn't start at all, she just looked at him fatigued and confused, like a mother would her child coming to her in the middle of the night from a nightmare. He waved his hand over her eyes, watching her attempt to follow it in the dark, her pupils obviously still adjusting. Mugen didn't want to think about death anymore. He didn't want to have a past, or a future anymore. He wanted to stay here in this cheap, unfurnished, shack of a room with her and fuck it all away.
Her jaw opened into a wide yawn and he couldn't stop himself from gently biting her chin. Giving her eyes one last rub she raised up, forcing him into a sitting position with her, still straddling her lap. Mugen didn't think she knew how close their were like this. He was tired, she was tired, but yet here he was. She yawned again, her eyes half lidded and trying to see her hands as they went to his pants in the dark. Mugen looked down with her, watching her clumsy fingers fumble with the strings on his hakama. His cheek accidentally brushed against hers, his temple every now and then, tapping against her own. He felt exhausted and so utterly subdued, staring down at her hands, pale even in the dark, overcome with the strange impulse to cover them with his own. Curious to how they'd fit.
It wasn't just sex anymore. And it wasn't 'no big deal.' He might have realized it only seconds before she finally finished with the ties. She didn't appear to notice that his cheek was brushing her own, but that was all he could feel. It wasn't like silk, silk was too slippery and caught on every callous or imperfection that touched it. This skin was soft and cradling, it felt painfully good against his rough flesh and he wondered, suddenly, if his stubble scratched or hurt her. If it did, she never told him. He was almost disappointed when her hands gripped the hem of his hakama, she didn't have to tell him, he stood up enough to slip them off his legs and settle himself back over her. She was lying back down by the time he returned to sitting on her hips.
She stared up at him sleepily as he tugged her covers down and parted her sleeping robes. Mugen gazed down at her, letting his fingers slowly skim down her body. They were both too tired to be angry, too exhausted to hurt each other tonight. He didn't know if he had ever not been in a rush to fuck, but for some reason, right then, he was content with just touching her. Tracing an invisible map over her belly and chest, idly palming a breast in his hand, he allowed his thumb to draw circles around her nipple, watching it harden under his ministrations. Leaning down, he heard her sigh, when his mouth closed over the pinkened tip, his tongue laving over it before lightly flicking against the firm little bud. His other hand molded and fingered the breast that his mouth had to ignore for the moment, and he was curious if his calluses bothered her. He was not soft, nor was he gentle, but she never complained before.
The memory of her hovering over him in the fisherman's shack came back to him. She had been so close; he could have kissed her had he thought of it at the time. Reluctantly taking his lips away from the breast he was beginning to grow attached to, his eyes trailed over the remnants of his saliva that glossed over Fuu's rosy nipple. She looked confused when he went to her face, nipping at her nose, then moving to her lips. His mouth moved over hers much like it had her breast, slow, firm, and deliberate. Mugen had always thought he could never be gentle in bed; he had never been before and didn't really know how. It had never interested him to try until now. It wasn't that hard, fatigue took the edge off and made him slow, and that was all the whole 'gentle' thing was actually, really slow fucking. You couldn't be harsh or violent when you were tired and slow, so it made it easier.
He grunted in surprise when she abruptly broke away, turning her head away from him, all together, to face the other side of the room. His lips followed hers for a second before she clenched her eyes shut and turned further away from him, almost burying her face in her arm beside her head. "Don't do that." She said.
Mugen stared at her, confused. He thought girls liked the whole slow thing, they sure complained enough when he did it the way he wanted. "What's your problem?"
Fuu shook her head, still not looking at him. "Nothing, just…..just hurry."
"What? Why?" Since when did women start asking men to hurry? That was the one thing they always bitched about the most.
She sighed exasperatedly, rolling her hips upwards into his. Mugen hissed as her womanhood pressed hotly against his shaft. He bit and sucked at her neck, pushing his pelvis back. Her hips rocked him like a cradle, warm and welcoming. Climbing up to his rest on his forearms, he positioned himself at her entrance. Her eyes weren't on him; she wasn't even looking at him at all. Frowning at her, he surged himself forwards, sheathing himself with one hard thrust. Her mouth dropped open in a silent scream, her back arching off the floor. He rose to balance on his palms, which had moved to either side of her head. She whimpered and crooned beneath him, looking for all the world like a helpless little child.
Mugen found that he wanted her to throw her arms around him, like she had their first time, in the sugarcane field. He wanted her legs to wrap around his torso without him having to put them there himself. Yet she remained on her back, arms by her head, and legs open and spread for him. Even when she was behaving, she still managed to piss him off without even trying. He shoved himself away from her, ignoring Fuu's cry of protest, his arms snaking out to grab her and pull her into his lap.
She may not have wrapped her legs around him, but her knees curled and squeezed his hips, and she was forced to fling her arms around him for balance as he pounded mercilessly into her. Burying his face into the crook of her neck he could hear her gasping and panting in his ear, her nails digging into his shoulders, breaking skin as she cried out something he knew she didn't mean to. He felt like a waterfall of ice water had just flooded down his back. His orgasm climaxed with no ecstasy and he came spouting curses that would make a prostitute blush.
At least she had the decency to look ashamed when he pushed her off. Not looking him in the face as she crawled back to her futon to curl into a little naked ball. He just sat there, his legs crossed Indian style in front of him.
So this is where he presently found himself. Sitting here, in the dark, loving a girl he just realized had too much baggage to return his feelings. Why did he care? What the hell did it matter if Jin's name was the first on her lips? What did it matter if she was only going to him because the other man wouldn't have her? She was still fucking him, right? It was still free, convenient, and money saving, right?
It was different. That was why he fucking cared. It wasn't just sex and it wasn't 'no big deal.' Maybe he had been a little hasty in thinking that whoever was up there wasn't such an asshole after all. They were all assholes and when he died they better pray he didn't escape from hell, because they were the first ones he was coming after if he ever broke out. The moon shifted through the window on the other side of the room, reflecting on her pale and flawless kin. She wasn't asleep. Neither was he. He didn't know if he would be getting any of it tonight, or the next night for that matter. It was kind of funny, if you were the sort of shit head that laughed at those kinds of things. It looked like the Gods were starting his eternal damnation early.
His fists clenched in and out, working in an odd way over his knees. There was a tension in his chest and shoulders that made him want to hit something. Preferably her. She wasn't even looking at him, just staring at the other wall as the moon played over her baby flesh. If she were a ship, he'd pillage her right there, if she were money he'd kill her owner and shove her in his pocket, if she were an ordinary woman he'd tell her to shut up and enjoy it. But she wasn't just any of the above. She was Fuu. She was the girl his heart had shackled itself to without asking. She was the one person he wanted to want more from him, to expect more from him.
But in the end, he was the one who wanted more from her. He wanted her to write nice things about him in her diary, too. He wanted her to trust him and expect him to be there. He wanted her to have that little intuition women seemed to have, and simply know when he was angry and how to sooth him. He wanted her to tell him she loved him in spite of all his faults. He wanted her to stop curling into a fucking fetal position and just look at him and tell him she didn't mean it. Apologize for calling out for Jin while he was the one who was sheathed inside her.
Unfortunately no matter what he wanted, she was still Fuu. She was still the scrawny girl holding herself in a little ball because the man she wanted would never love her and the man who did she didn't want. It was sort of ironic, but he wasn't the sort of asshole who thought irony was funny.
"I'm sorry." He heard her whisper, still unable to face him.
Mugen grunted, barely acknowledging the statement, following the pale glow to the stars outside. If he had learned anything from prison, it was that life was not short. He didn't care what anybody said, life was long, unbearably long. It was the kind of bastard that when you couldn't wait for it to end you were suddenly struck with the fact that you had a whole lifetime ahead of you. That's all life was, nothing but a long amount of time. And it was that much longer when you spent it pining after something you were never going to get. That was why he always took whatever he felt like having, beating every obstacle that stood in his way. But this time, this time couldn't take what he wanted without ruining the prize in the process. "Fuck you, Fuu." He muttered dejectedly, the curse lacking any real bite behind it.