I am a monster. I know it, I always have. But still, even I have my regrets.
They haunt me, the deeds done to ensure the survival of the mortal world. But none more so than that child.
I didn't tell them anything, they would not have accepted the yoroi if I had. Tenku seized through curiosity, Suiko through innocence, Kongo through arrogance, Korin through trickery. It was not until long after that any of them knew what it meant to be a yoroi bearer.
But still, after all that I have done, I cannot bear to think of Recca. He was the only one who recognized the yoroi for what it was, and at the time I was amazed that he took it. Who would want to continue living until all else is merely ash, through an endless string of battles that have long since lost their meaning, until the day they finally fall? It was not until later that I realized that he viewed it as easy suicide.
And that, out of all of the things that I have done, is the thing that I have regretted far beyond my dying day.
Even when I did it, I had doubts. Was this necessary? I knew that Arago would rise within his lifetime, knew that his heritage damned him to both sides of the battlefield. But I was unsure. Yes, he was Hariel's descendant, but perhaps this was to be his redemption. To freely choose the side of light, and remain constant without betrayal.
But I could not take that chance. I knew that Arago sensed that bright spirit reborn, and I could not put the fate of one boy above the fate of the Earth.
Yes, I was moved, at least in part, by revenge. If Hariel had chosen the light from the first, we would have won centuries ago. If he had stayed with the darkness, the war would still be over. Because of his betrayal, this war spun out of control and lasted far past its time.
He was the being that I hated most, above all the lords of the demon realm. But this did not justify what I did to Ryo. I knew that reincarnated souls are born without anything to remind them of their former existence, that the boy had a clean slate. But I destroyed him completely.
The man that I hated is gone, but the boy that I grew to love as a son was the one who paid the price.
And I have brought about what I hoped to avoid. He is self-destructing, without purpose or meaning, and there are others who will gladly follow him. Korin is already following his descent, and Tenku is angry as well. And he will gather other allies, in more than one realm.
I feared him, from the moment of his birth, I feared what he was capable of. I convinced his mother to lock away that power, to deny her son his birthright. It was difficult, and I had to enter her dreams many times, and even then, she did not do as I wished. The spell is disintegrating, it has lasted far past its time.
He will be the next demon lord, there is no longer any doubt. He is of the blood, and if he is a hanyou, what of it? He is the reincarnation of the greatest demon lord ever known, with powers far beyond his old strength.
And if he destroys this world, I do not know if I will stop him. It was my fear and vengeance that drove him so far off his path, I have lost the right to meddle in his life.
Because of me, he grew up without anything. He killed his own grandfather, unknowing, because of me. But he is Kenbukyou's heir, the only son of his only daughter, and that will only help him in the future.
I never thought to ask myself if one small, innocent child was worth so many deaths. His parents, his grandfather, the gang who adopted him, all blood on my hands.
Enma asked me, not long ago, if I would still regret my actions if Ryo was not the heir to half of the demonic realm. The greatest mistake of the gods was to make the guardian of the mortal realm a being who did not understand mortality. I was never suited for the position. Because I knew, though I did not say it, that I would not have regretted my actions. There would not be any serious consequences.
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Quiet Chaos: Thank you very much. For a lot of things.
me: Thank you as well. Yes, I think that I am starting to, and I'm sorry that I couldn't e-mail you, but my computer has issues.
Raylee Fox: Yay! Thanks!
Rogue Ronin: Thanks, that means a lot to me. I really have trouble with emotions and relations with others. It means a lot to hear people say that I'm getting better at it.
Stormyrose: Yeah, I think the ending of that chapter was some of the sappiest crap that I've ever written, but I'm glad that you liked it.
zorra: Thank you, I'm glad that someone shares my views about Kaosu. I can't stand characters like that (another example: Albus Dumbledore)! And I actually do have other stories, most of them aren't in this section, though.
Alexa: Thanks!
zorra: Thank you. That's kind of the way that I write things like this. Please remember that it was from Touma's point of view, and that he was tired, depressed, at least halfway drunk, and not fully informed at the time. I try to get inside characters' heads, and sometimes that leaves gaps.
Wow, I feel so loved. Please review and tell me what you think everybody!
PS— kudos to anyone who can identify the miniscule crossover in this chapter!