99.9

Disclaimer: All characters, character names and all that jazz belong to Dick Wolf – well, except for the title, and that belongs to somebody else who's still not me.

The phone call had come in about an hour before work, so Alex knew she'd be on her own that day. No big deal, or hopefully not. All they had on the schedule was paperwork, and in the message he'd left, Goren had weakly assured her that it should only take him a day or two to get back on his feet. If anything major happened, she knew he'd drag himself in anyway; she'd give herself at least a couple days before actually worrying. She settled down with a stack of reports, and got down to business.

It seemed like only a few minutes went by, but when she looked up at the clock, she saw that four hours has passed since she'd arrived. A few feet away, Mike Logan stood up and stretched like he'd just been unchained from his chair.

"Hey, Eames, since you're on your own tonight, wanna grab a bite?" Logan snagged his coat and started to the door. Barek waited by the desk, purse in hand.

Alex looked at her desk, and saw the pile of paperwork had almost vanished. She hadn't realized how much work she could get done without distractions. "Sure, I'm about due for a break."

They headed down the street to the nearest diner. One look at the menu made her go for the coffee and Danish. At least that would be edible. Barek apparently agreed with her. Logan was made of sterner stuff, and ordered the burger special. "Girls. Always on a diet."

"Nice. You want to get remanded to sensitivity training?" Barek raised an eyebrow at her partner.

"Again? No prob – I've got the tests memorized."

"Quit flirting, you two. I swear, you're going to make me miss the big lunk." She looked at Logan's e-coli on a bun. "Besides, you chauvinist, eating like this is probably what got him. He sounded pretty rough on the phone."

Logan choked on his huge mouthful, while his partner looked embarrassed. "I'll bet he did," he managed to snicker.

"What?"

"Don't mind Mike. He's got some stupid theory, which he totally pulled out of his ass. Goren will be back to work tomorrow."

"He might not. He said he might be out for a couple of days." She didn't voice her worry that it might be mental health that was keeping her partner down. He'd seemed fine the last few days. Weeks, even.

"I knew it!" Logan's knowing smirk grew even wider, until Barek elbowed him.

"Look, Alex, I know this is none of my business, but are you and he…"

"What? NO! Ugh –it'd be like kissing your brother, your geeky, creepy brother! Trust me, that is not an option!" She gave an involuntary shudder. "Why, do I look desperate?"

Barek looked relieved; Logan looked even more pleased with himself. "Sweetheart, you look fine to me. I've got a couple weekends free, myself."

"So I look downright frantic. Well, I'm not, but thanks for the offer. I'll wait until it's that or being a crazy cat lady."

"Suit yourself." He turned to his partner. "See? What'd I tell you? Who's the master detective?"

"Shut it, Logan. Just because you're a complete hound doesn't mean that everyone else is." Barek glanced over at Eames. "I was just worried that he may be right."

"Right about what? I'm not following you."

"And you call yourself a detective. So much for women's intuition." He leaned forward. "Look, he's been in a odd mood for a few weeks, right? Odd, but good."

"Goren's the king of odd."

"But this is different. He's also been coming and going right on time. And normally, he lives for the job. Early in, late leaving, like he goes home and just waits for the next day?"

"Yeah, usually, except for his poker nights."

"Which take place in the building, anyway. Did you know he missed the last one, and that he played like a chump the one before – like he wasn't there?"

"No, I didn't know that. He seemed like he was in a hurry to get to the last one."

"Nope. Not there. That wouldn't be so incriminating, but he's been on the phone out by the smoking area. Now, why would he go all the way outside to make a call, when he could have the luxury of sitting inside? And more than that, he wasn't paying too much attention to who was around him. I watched him instead of the pigeons, and that was a personal call."

"You eavesdropped? What'd you hear?
"What do you take me for? I was back by the wall – but I could see his face. I've only seen the guy that pleased with himself when he's hot on the trail or busted a case, and if that were going on, you'd know."

"That's true. So what are you getting at?"

"I'm saying your partner has come down with a bad case of company."

Alex gagged on her coffee. "You're joking! This is Robert Goren we're talking about, right? You're saying that he skipped work to, to…"

"Got it in one." Logan settled back in his seat.

"He couldn't…I mean, he could. Oh, my god. No, no way." Alex looked at her cell phone. "No, he really sounded sick. He's probably been coming down with something." It was Logan's turn to choke on a mouthful.

Barek punched his arm. "Cut it out. You're about thirty years too late for that kind of crap."

"All I'm saying is it's possible. Look, I've got an idea. When we get back to the office, we'll call. We'll put him on speakerphone, and if he's really sick, we'll be able to tell."

"That's low, even for you."

"Like my old partner, Lenny Briscoe, used to say, you get sloppy, you get caught. It's not like I never got a well-timed call from work on my sick days." He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "If I'm wrong, that's it. But if I'm right, that's where the fun starts."

Returning to the office, they grouped around the empty desk. Logan plopped down in Goren's chair, enjoying himself far too much. "Ok, go ahead and call. He'll sound distracted or tired - "

"Like he was actually sick?"

"Almost, but not quite. So go ahead and ask him how he feels. Be specific, ask for symptoms."

She dialed Goren's number. One ring, two…on the third, he picked up.

"Hello?" He definitely sounded groggy, like he'd just woken.

"Bobby? It's Alex. Sorry to bug you, but we were worried."

"Um, that's, that's fine."

"Is it the flu? Logan says there's a flu going around. Did you get a shot?"

"Uh, no, I, no. Maybe."

Logan scribbled a note: Put him on hold.

"I wanted to ask…shoot, can you hang on?" She pressed the hold, and said, "So?"

"Ok, now switch him back on, fast."

The speakerphone crackled back on, and they caught the end of a few words, a bit too low to hear. He was talking to someone else. Alex's eyes bugged, but she caught herself. "Are you there?"

"Uh, sort of."

"Well, if you're sure you're doing ok, I'd better go." Logan waved another note. "Do you want me to stop by, get you something?"

"No, no, I'm fine. I just need to…stay in bed for a while." The three detectives exchanged horrified glances.

Logan leaned over to the phone. "Hey, big guy. We're just checking in. Wanted to make sure you hadn't caught something that was, you know, going around. Have you had problems keeping stuff down?" Alex was sure Goren could hear her choke over the line.

He made some sort of strangled noise, and there was a pause. "You know what, Mike? You're right. I haven't been keeping anything down at all. I have no idea what's wrong. Every hour or so, it just comes up, again and again. What do you suggest? Or has it been a while since you've had this sort of problem?"

"Gee, Bobby, I usually use one of those oral thingys. You know, pop it in there, check your temperature… Maybe rub some Vicks on your chest…"

"That's a thought. Whoops, gotta run. Thanks for calling." He sounded markedly better. Alex could swear she heard him mutter "asshole" before he hung up.

Barek looked shocked, then said, "I think he's pissed."

Logan burst into laughter. Alex barely managed to suppress hers. Once she regained control, she leaned over to him. "Thanks. I have to deal with him when he gets back, you know."

"Hey, we could do him one better. We could wait ten minutes, call back, tape it and have the guys down in the lab enhance the background noise. He should be "recovered" by then"

"No. I do NOT want to hear that."

He grabbed the phone on Goren's desk. "I've got an idea. I'm gonna call Munch at SVU, tell him to call and say they got a complaint about something unusual going on."

"Are you sure you're not twelve?" Barek sighed. "I'm going to go back to work. You know, that stuff we get paid to do?"

"Speak for yourself, I'm getting paid no matter what," Logan called after her.

"Get out of here, Mike. Go harass my partner from your own desk."

"Please don't ever say "ass" in conjunction with him again. It wasn't until now that my tender mind was sullied with that ugly image."

At that, Alex whacked him with a stack of papers and he retreated, too. She sat down and stared at the empty desk across from her, shook her head and got back to work.