Oh, my dearest, beloved readers and reviewers, I heartily apologize for having vanished from the world of Fanfiction – but you see, the reason I stopped writing for absolute ages was because I was grounded. For a long time. I'm still grounded, but the punishment's lessened somewhat. Anyhow, here's the next chapter to Kate's misadventure with the Nuns of the Order of the Sisterhood of Ladyness! Please read and review!
Though the words 'Cleanerizing and Mannerizing Rooms' had struck fear into Kate's heart, she had no idea what they meant, thinking them to be forms of torture. But the reality was far worse than anything she had imagined.
After her bath, the nuns had dragged her to the Mannerizing Rooms (apparently she had already been 'cleanerized' for the day). But when they arrived, the nun in charge (called 'Manners Mistress') took one look at Kate and pronounced her unprepared for Mannerizing. Kate's hopes leapt sky-high when she heard that, but they went crashing back down to the ground when Sister Nutface decided that she needed to be 'Feminized' first.
"Feminized?" Kate asked dubiously. "What's that mean?" She wished she never heard the answer.
First of all, she was forced to wear a dress. A DRESS! The simple fact that it was a dress was bad enough, but the nuns made it worse by presenting her with a ball gown. A BALL GOWN! And not any old ball gown, either – it was a PINK ball gown! With frills! And lace! And beads! And embroidered flowers and butterflies! Oh, horror! Kate felt as though she'd rather die than wear that, that THING, and she told the nuns so.
They made it clear that they wouldn't take no for an answer, but Kate didn't go without a struggle. Using all her incredible strength and wily tricks that she'd picked up from years of fighting bad guys, she fought hard against the handful of ancient nuns who were the toughest enemies she'd ever faced in her long career of knighthood. And lost. Even as the nuns triumphantly pulled the dress over her head and exclaimed about how different, how much better she looked, she couldn't believe it. How in all of Not-So-Merry Olde England did a handful of doddering ladies manage to defeat her, the great Sir Kate Dragon-defeater Steelfist? How!
She moaned in despair, causing the nun applying a layer of bright-red lipstick on her pouting lips to snap at her angrily. Kate just sulked, then yelped in pain as another nun, working on her eyebrows, yanked hard with the tweezers and eyed the several hairs contained in the metal grip with satisfaction.
Then she noticed a group of nuns preparing what looked like a small dish of caramel, next to a pile of Popsicle sticks. Kate's eyes lit up. She loved caramel! Maybe these old women weren't that bad, after all…
"Hey, you!" she called out, "Sister Nuthead, or something! What's that? Caramel?" She licked her lips hungrily.
Sister Nutface raised her eyebrows. "Caramel?" She cackled nastily, sending shivers of apprehension up and down Kate's spine. Suddenly, she didn't feel that it was caramel. She was right.
"Caramel?" Sister Nutface repeated. "No, my dear. No, it's not caramel at all. It's wax."
"Wax? What the heck are you going to use wax for?"
Sister Nutface smiled, slowly and luxuriously, all her rotten teeth displayed to full effect. Kate felt ill, and shut her eyes.
"My dear girl," Sister Nutface purred, "We are going to wax your legs."
Kate's eyes popped open again, staring in horror. "WHAT!"
One of the nuns approached, leering, bearing a tray on which the little bowl of wax and a pile of Popsicle sticks lay. Picking up a Popsicle stick delicately, Sister Nutface dipped it into the melted wax, eyeing it as little drops slowly plop plopped back into the bowl. Kate turned pale. Sister Nutface brought the stick, slathered in wax, to Kate's bared leg, and slowly, deliberately, smoothed the wax over it. Kate flinched, though the wax was already cooling. In fact, the sensation of the warm wax gently smeared on her leg was…pleasant.
But then Sister Nutface picked up a strip of cloth and laid it over the wax. "What's that for?" Kate asked curiously.
Sister Nutface smiled again, making Kate feel uneasy. She was smiling way too much. It was getting pretty creepy. "You will see," was all she said. Then she took hold of a corner of the cloth – and yanked it away.
This was the last straw. Kate cracked. Screaming like a madwoman, curlers in her hair, one eyebrow half-plucked, strips of cloth covering wax on her legs, face smeared with make-up, she leapt up from the table of torture, and ran for her life. She sprinted to the stables, saddled her horse, leapt onto it, and galloped out the giant gates of the Abbey, leaving the nuns to gather at the gateway and stare as she disappeared into the distance, the ribbons of her pink ball gown streaming in the wind.
When Kate finally arrived at her estates, it was to jump off her horse into Corin's arms, sobbing hysterically. For the next few months, Kate shrieked and went into hiding at the sight of women, middle-aged to ancient. Nor could she stand the sight of anything feminine, from dresses, ribbons, make-up, and especially wax. This, of course, left Corin in a dreadful fix. But, heaving a great, theatrical sigh, Corin obediently switched to wearing plain black and brown breeches with a plain white shirt, and spent the next while trying to give Kate therapy. It worked, a bit, so that Kate could finally step foot into the streets without falling into hysterics every time she saw a woman with so much as a spot of rouge on her cheeks, though she did occasionally have sudden fits, mostly when they were invited to palace balls, where women dressed in the most outrageous and fancy outfits. Nevertheless, Kate did recover, and life went on as usual – for a while.
A/N: I know, this chapter really sucked – but my first printed original copy got thrown out my dad, and without it I had to re-do the whole thing! As a result, this misadventure was cut considerably shorter and lacks my stuff's usual luster. But don't let this stop you from reading the next, last misadventure! Read and review, people, or, to quote my friend: You shall be cursed with poverty, you will belong to the ranks of rats, and this misfortune will continue in your family for four generations!
P.S. The next, last misadventure is gonna be up really soon!