Being Right, Being Indignant, Being Lecherous.
Do tell if things don't sound good, I'm always one for improvement
You know? Gimli was bloody right. I needed to be a man - confront him and his silly, childish insistent. So why were my feet going to opposite way to where Legolas was?
The simple answer? I didn't want to be married to a long blonde haired bimbo. I wanted to be married to a brunette one.
I stopped and slumped against a tree and made a noise that wasn't totally different from that of the dying squirrel I fell on earlier.
"What an attractive noise."
"Shutupshutup. I can't see you, you simply don't exist." I mumbled.
Legolas's expression changed like a flash from calm coquette-ish-ness to surprise. "That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" He asked in that falsetto scream of his.
I shook my head eyes still covered. My Love sat down beside me, and we sat in silence for a little while.
"So.."
Akward glances.
I looked up and coughed. "So are we-"
The next part happened in slow motion, there was a blur of blonde hair and well manicured nails and I was bowled over, pressed to the ground. Next thing I know there are hands where there were no hands before.
"Erk!"
Despite that obviously clear statement the silly trollop's violation continued until I bit him firmly on the nose.
"I was that for!" I gasped, trying to spit out the taste of Elf.
"I'm your husband! It's my right!" his voice bristled self-righteousness and indignancy.
I delivered Legolas a swift hard poke to the chest, hoping to do the impossible and deflate his ego. "Just because your culture counts getting down with it as an act of serious commitment does not give you the right to jump my bones when I am unprepared!"