Summary: Inner turmoil with her heart, can she ever open up knowing that humanity is malicious? He taught her how to appreciate the one thing human can be proud of. Love.
Disclaimer: Shaman King does not belong to me.
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Take my hand
Chapter 1: All started with a sweet
Suicide Bomber
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If there was one thing Yoh would die just to know why his fiancée could not show humane feelings that would be it. It had been a good long year ever since his winning over the Shaman throne, and she had not made any attempt to quit training him. Yoh was beginning to feel that she enjoyed watching him suffer.
Oh yes, it was definitely her favourite past time.
He was sure of it.
Well, until today.
She had asked him to go grocery shopping as usual, but after he came back, she was not home. She left him a note on the table; the handwriting obviously belonged to Manta, who Yoh guessed was forced to write it for her. It seemed that an ordinary day was passed by an ordinary order from his almost ordinary fiancée (the key word here is almost) who had left him quite an ordinary note if it did not concern any threatens.
But leaving him a sweet was not ordinary.
For a moment, Yoh was hesitant that it was she who left it there, but Manta would have probably given it to him face-to-face. He crossed out the possibility of his friends doing that either, it was ridiculous if they did. Of course, he did not mean that giving him sweets were ridiculous. It was the idea of them giving him something like that so secretly really made him uneasy. But if it was from a certain adorable yet ferocious fiancée, who so happened to let a sweet drop by the note, you could say Yoh's life's work complete.
After all, the girl had not shown any acts of kindness towards him expect making him battle outfits.
Not that he was complaining.
He would not dare to dream of it anyway.
Yeah well, she was not some pretty girl that would do anything just to please him; she showed him that she cared through her own way. Though most of the time Yoh was unable to tell it, and that resulted in a few negative thoughts about her.
With a sigh, and a huge smile that Yoh was trying to hide from God-knows-who, he kept the small, tiny mini sweet in his pants pocket. Alas, it was still from Anna, right?
"Anna..." Yoh carelessly whispered. He smiled again.
A sudden surge of happiness washed him clean. Even if Anna would ask him to do triples of his whole torture training, he would do it without a frown or complain, though he could not confirm that he could do it without perspiration and having muscle aches the next morning. Still, he felt it was worthwhile. Yes, all worth it.
Easier said than done.
Yoh sighed again. Why could not Anna be like those ordinary girls? No, she just had to be the hard-to-read and even harder to please kind of girl and could just crush the most powerful Shaman in the world, namely him, whenever she wanted. Yoh shuddered. She was indeed none like the girls he knew in school, not like any girls he knew. She was different, fierce, demanding, adorable, evil, gorgeous, bossy, hot-tempered, very sexy, and somewhat kind... Okay, where did that come from? Yoh stop thinking, feeling heat rushed through his cheeks.
But anyway, that was why he loves her.
Present tense. He was guessing the whole of the Shaman race and the majority of the school was aware of his fondness of her. Was it that obvious? Then, why was it that she could not see? It was right before her very eyes! Was she playing dumb? Or was she simply oblivious? Yoh scratched his head in frustration.
Now, where was this leading?
He was joyous when he saw that sweet, and now he was crying in agony. Talk about Anna's mood swings. He's three hundred and sixty degrees turned faster than a bullet. And only Anna was capable of giving him such effects.
"Tadaima," He heard the door closed.
Speak of the devil.
Yoh was suddenly wary of being in an all so familiar background. How could this place slipped his mind? It was Anna's bedroom for Shaman King's, which was, for his sake! First things first, where could he hide in this spooky room, if possible? He reminded to punch himself later for trespassing her territory. Thinking about his fiancée just gave him this unawareness of where he was going. Damn.
"Yoh?" He heard her called out.
Thump! Thump! Thump! Went his heart and the approaching footsteps.
The willingness of doing triples of his torture trainings did not look up. He wished he had not made that silly comment. Doing triples? Go nuts!
"Yoh?" She called out again, this time louder.
He was going to get triples, whether he liked it or not now. Might as well let her find him willingly, this darn room got no hiding place. She would take some time to finally enter her room, so this gave him time to prepare himself, mentally.
"Asakura Yoh!" She demanded.
Okay, maybe it did not work out as how Yoh wanted it to be. Right after hearing his full name, he guessed he would have to go for plan B. Let Anna do the decision-making. She was good at it, and currently, he was not. Surrender to Fate and her decide his.
Taking in a deep breath, Yoh slowly crept out of Anna's room. The floor squeaked with each step he took, making Anna turned to him.
He plastered on his sheepish grin, hoping that his acting skills would not fail him in moments of death.
Faking ignorance was wonderful act.
"Why were you in my room? Explain. Now." So obviously she did not take the bait. Why, out of all the fishes in the sea, did he have to fall in love with one so scary? He knew the answer, but it still nagged at him.
"An-na! I was finding my socks..." He tried, his eyes not meeting hers.
"You're wearing them," She tapped her foot impatiently.
He slapped himself inwardly. That was for Anna.
"...Or maybe my clothes..." He tried again.
"I gave specific instructions, Yoh."
The sound of his name made him flinched. She had said it with so much venom. He kicked himself mentally. That was for being stupid.
It was time to unleash the final resort!
"About the sweet..." he started.
She stared at him. Her eyes searching his, but he avoided her. Okay, that caught her attention. Hopefully she would forget the whole 'trespassing' issue
It was a good sign.
"What sweet?"
"Y-You mean you don't know?" Maybe it was not. The whole idea of skipping triples did not left his mind, but something else came.
She was not the one who put it there?
His heart tightened, strangely.
"Y-You know... t-the sweet that you... g-gave me?" He was trying his best to talk normally. But his voice just cracked for some reason.
"If this is one of your new excuses to skip-" Anna was cut short as Yoh interrupted her.
"So you're not the one..." He hung his head, the pain in his chest still not going away. He had his fist clenched, not trusting that his fingers would not tremble if he let them loose.
"You're not the one who..." He repeated, but did not —could not— finish his sentence.
Anna frowned. She had said nothing, not knowing what to say. Why was Yoh in her room? Why was he asking her funny things? Questions after questions rang through her mind, without answers, without any replies. His out-of-character behaviour had worn her patience.
"You're acting very strangely," Her eyebrow rose, looking at him for some kind of explanation.
Yoh only looked down at his feet, finding it more interesting than answering her. He shifted them uneasily, hands unclenching and clenching in momentum. His eyes were hidden beneath his bangs, his expression unreadable. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came. Anna noticed that he was reaching for something in his pants pocket. She frowned again, not knowing what was he up to.
"So?" She pressed once more. This whole extravagant was irritating her by the minute.
"It's nothing," Yoh showed her his goofy grin, "I'm ready for punishment, Anna."
He had taken his hand out of his pocket. Anna gave a confused stare. Wasn't he going to take out something? She blinked, suddenly not in the mood to punish him.
"You... Go and prepare dinner. Triple your trainings before going to bed," She said, then walking passed him into her room. On a second thought, maybe she had not want Yoh off that easily. He had crossed the line, a line he should know never to.
She slammed her door, locking it. She was angry, because of Yoh entering her sanctuary or because he had not seemed sorry about it, she did not know. What she knew was that he better be more than ready to face the consequences.
While Anna fumed in her room, Yoh was left outside. He was not moving; for a moment he had not want to either. He had anticipated this to happen, so why the shock? He had made sure he was ready for punishment, ready for any that would fling his way that determined instant death. Why was he shivering now? He had the sudden urge to run, train or which ever that could bring his mind somewhere else. He realised that he was not in the house anymore, rather, along the perimeter of it. His legs had followed his commands. Feeling no strain, no tiredness, Yoh forced his muscles to move faster, pushing himself forward. Images of his girl were continuously flooding his mind, and he could not concentrate. The pounding of his chest was hard, so hard he thought he could not breathe.
"Yoh-dono! You should slow down," Amidamaru appeared at his side. "You're tiring yourself."
Yoh had almost forgot his guardian spirit was with him, and so were other roaming spirits that occupy this house. He grinned a little, not wanting Amidamaru to be too concern for him. He did not like people —or spirits— to worry about him. He was more comfortable worrying for them.
"Were you there?" Yoh asked, as he made his runs. He hoped nobody had seen him entering Anna's room in such a dazed manner, and wished nobody had been present when he was in such an awkward position with her either. It must have been horrible.
"Yeah," Amidamaru lowered his head, "Everyone was there."
"I see," Yoh replied. He should have known. How was it possible for them to close their eyes and looked away? He felt a lump in his throat as he recalled the previous event. To think there were audience to witness it. How embarrassing.
"I'm sure Miss Anna would cool down soon," Amidamaru tried to comfort his master, seeing him in such a distress state. It had always been the same. Anna would come home and fuss, and Yoh would quietly sulk. So much so that it was no more than anything ordinary, and he had always prepared to console his master about it. But, today seemed different. Or so he felt, for Yoh was definitely different today. He had been there when Yoh took the sweet, saw the happiness in his eyes, seen how joyous he felt. It was gone, as soon as it came, but the glee in him resurfaced once more as he made his way to Anna's room. It felt as if Yoh had not known where he was going, but he had regain consciousness as soon as he was in the center of her room. Amidamaru sensed trouble, feeling Anna's aura not far away. He was about to warn Yoh, but then he saw that glint in his eyes again and decided against it. Somehow, he knew his master was well even if he did not warn him of the approaching tigress.
"Were they laughing?" His voice croaked. Yoh was definitely not himself today.
"Of course not! We were a bit worried," Amidamaru smiled, assuring.
Yoh was silent after that. He had not talked or asked about anything, only running until he was sure exhaustion hit him hard. That was more than what the punishment was given to him. Amidamaru grew very perturbed at his eccentric behaviour, for he has never done more than what was required for him.
Anna had come down to the living room for dinner as soon as it was ready. Yoh had stopped his training, thinking that his body was more than satisfied with the day's workout —or punishment for that matter— and dinner was to be made in time. After the Shaman Fight, Ryu had gone to his grandfather for more training. Manta had his father watching him closely, so he had not been able to visit as often. With Ryu gone, Yoh had to manage the dishes and live up to Anna's expectation. He had sent letters, appealing for Ryu to come back, and the response was positive. He should be returning in a month's time.
Ever since Yoh had defeated Hao, claiming the Shaman King's title, there was no news about his twin. Hao had disappeared, but left word that he would return to greet his nephew. This had put Yoh in a difficult spot. Everyone was expecting something to happen between Yoh and Anna. Truth was, they were getting nowhere. They were still sleeping in separate rooms, not sharing anything but the dinning table and the house. Not even the television was shared.
Yoh was aching to return to his family. His mother had sent him regards and hoped for them to visit once in a while. He was actually expecting Anna to decide that they should move back to his home, but she had said nothing when he brought the subject up during one of their dinners together. He remembered clearly, that night when he told her Keiko had asked for them to visit, Anna was unusually quiet and emotionless. She had gone back to her room immediately after she cleared her bowl, not even bidding him good night. It felt strange and Yoh could not sleep for the entire night. Now, he was pondering whether to bring it up again. Perhaps this time round she would agree with his desire to see his family once more.
"Anna, about going back..." Yoh left his sentence hanging, hoping his fiancée would catch him.
"What about it?" She asked, picking on the teriyaki chicken before her.
"I was wondering if you'd like to go back..." He peered from his rice, trying to reed her.
"It's a decision not mine to make," She said, then putting down her chopsticks. He noticed her bowl was empty. "I'm going to bed, good night."
With that, she left the table and went upstairs. Yoh continued his meal, rushing to clean every up before having a decent chat with his future wife. She was not going to escape him again. He was pretty sure she would pretend to sleep while he talked to her back, but he also knew that she could hear and understand him clearly. He was not trying his luck though. He wanted to talk, face-to-face.
By the time Yoh finished with the dishes, he had politely requested for Amidamaru and the other spirits to give him and Anna some time to themselves. They had agreed with his terms, and he was now facing her door. With a deep breath and a heavy sigh, Yoh knocked on it twice.
Before he could utter the words he so prepared for situations like these, Anna's voice rang through the door, mildly reaching his ears.
"Come in," Her voice was small. Yoh turned the doorknob slowly, pushing the door opened.
He stepped into her room, darkness swallowing everything in sight. He closed the door behind, hearing a soft click before advancing further. He knew the place to well, and darkness alone was not going to stop him from getting to her. It seemed that the little peeks and trespassing had paid off.
"What do you want?" He heard her beneath some cloth. In the darkness, he could see an outline of her shape with a blanket draped across her fragile body.
He only dared to move closer, taking tiny steps towards her frame. Then, he knelt down besides her futon, his hand carelessly brushing her hair. She was still back facing him. Yoh summoned all the courage within him to touch her shoulder, gripping it before turning her towards him. He felt better, for now she was facing him, with her head effortlessly trying to hide in her pillow. He could not help but grin at the sight.
"I want to know about the sweet," he began, the negative thought in the evening not disappearing as he had wished for it to.
"I've told you, I don't know what you're talking about!" Anna gave an irritated sigh.
"I want to hear it from you. Tell me the truth," Yoh's voice was shaking uncontrollably. His grip tightened, forcing a wince from his fiancée.
"Sorry," He let go of her shoulder, quickly hitting himself for hurting her.
"Is the sweet so important?" She ignored the physical pain —she would never allow herself to show these signs of weakness— and gave her attention to the conversation Yoh had inquired of her.
There was a pause, and she took it that Yoh was considering how to answer her. Sure he always speak his mind and all, but he would — whenever it came to her— think before he said anything, as if afraid he might blurt out the wrong things. She hid a knowing smirk.
"Did I hurt you?" Yoh avoided that question. He was more concern if he had hurt his darling girl.
Somehow, Anna did not know what he was referring to. He was speaking in that way again, that sickening 'read between the lines' kind of way, and she thought that only females were capable of. They were known for that anyway.
"Come straight Yoh," She let the annoyed tone reached his ears, "I don't have time for this."
She could tell he was uncomfortable now. Through the dark, she saw , and the necklace he had always wore ever since Matamune left was visible in her sight. She turned away from him again.
"Look at me, Anna."
She felt like slapping him. She did not though, and she began to doubt her power over him. He has grown into a man, someone whom she knew that could not be ordered anymore. Being the Shaman King had that kind of effect on people, she guessed.
"Look at me, damn it!" He cursed, and this time he did not bother whether Anna was happy being shoved around or not.
"What is wrong with you?" She screamed, pushing him away from her. He did not budge.
Time stopped for them. Anna's kicks and punches drained her and she fell lifelessly onto Yoh. He held on her tightly, and then laid her on the futon. He slept next to her, still holding her in a tight embrace. Her back was against his chest and he was not deciding to let her go any minute. They stayed in that position, not moving or saying anything.
It was the unnerving tension Yoh hated. He thought he had gotten her at least by an inch, but she was still not talking. Supposing she was really blind to the sweet thing, but he had expected a few answers from her. He was getting fed up with her pretence, for he was sure she knew exactly what he meant.
Do you love me?
He so longed for her to speak those little words to him. From what he had heard, Manta claimed that she had openly admitted her feelings for him to Slivia before. In fact, his non-shamanic friend heard it with his own pair of ears too. He was more infuriated with this than anything else. Could she not tell him personally as well? What was so difficult?
"I love you," He whispered into her nape, his breath hot on her skin. He was trying to prove his point. What was so difficult to her?
Silence was what given in return of his confession. It was not much of it, more of a statement than any other, but Yoh thought it was romantic to say those words on a bed shared with someone whom you felt for. Unlikely for him, his fiancée did not see it his way.
"I love you," He repeated, his arms snaking around her lower waist and held on tighter to her.
In the night, Yoh became someone else. When nobody was looking, he turned into someone Anna did not recognise. He would take her into his arms, say sweet nothings to her, make her happy, and make her feel wanted. It was all that she ever dreamt of having. The love of her life to profess his undying feelings towards her, love her and protect her. And she had it all. Everything.
A tear escaped her eyelids unknowingly.
She thought she was the most blissful woman living. She thought whatever pains she had gone through was worth every single second with Yoh. She thought she had finally found what human called 'happiness'. She thought wrong. How could she forget those harsh times? Times when she was not loved at all, times when she was being hated and thrown away like dirt on others? For all she knew, the love she felt now was nothing but hatred trying to masked itself under, then leaping towards her and kill her slowly, devouring the taste of betrayal and disloyalty. She had learnt a grieving lesson, and she should know how to learn from mistakes.
The day she first saw her future husband, she did not think he was any other boy. In her eyes, he was nothing but a thorn in her sight; a person whose heart was also filled with deep understandings and stupid idles. Shaman King? She snorted; this miserable boy wants to be a Shaman King? She should be glad the whole world would not crumble down in pieces before he ascend the throne. He was lazy, dumb, goofy, irritating, annoying, foolish and all sorts of negative vocabulary she could afford to put down at the age of ten.
'Why do you keep following me?' She shouted, enraged by his silly explanation, hinting that he intend for her to thank him.
'Erm, y-you're asking me why...?' He hid his face from her. But the blush on his cheeks could not escape her eyes.
Then, she saw, felt something deep in his heart. An unknown feeling was driving into her mind, radiating heat into her body. She had felt oddly hot and hotness on her cheeks did not help one bit.
'Say, the ability to read minds is really troublesome...'
—What I'm really saying is that I think I like you...—
Her mind was a complete blank, and the only thing that came to her mind was 'Slap him! Slap him hard and good!' and she did as her mind commanded.
—The right hand that slaps feels warm...—
She shut the door behind, not wanting to share the same room as him any longer. What was wrong with him? Nobody likes her, nobody did! And never should anyone either! He was mad, his grandmother was mad; everyone of his family was insane! She felt as if she could not breathe, could not think and could not stand properly. What had he done to her?
He had spoken few words to her, saying something about the temple. She paid no attention, only agreeing with part of his speech...
'Yes, thankfully there was a door between...'
She stiffened at the memory. Why was that incident reappearing in her mind? She dared not moved to wipe away her tear. If she could pretend none of this was happening now and imagined it as one of her dreams, then it was just as good for her. Deserving such joy was scary; it had not been this peaceful since she was born.
I love you...
I love you...
I think I like you...
Anna...
Yoh arms around her loosen, and he started to breathe heavily against her skin. She sighed softly, then pulling away from his grasp. Maybe tonight, just tonight, she would leave him and stay awake in the living room. She needed to sort out her inner demon, something that had recently arouse within her and she knew it could be worse than oni. Definitely worse than oni.
That night, Yoh slept without his wife and Anna without shut-eye.
He should have felt the warmth fading from him, but her coldness was anything but warm.
And she should know better than to leave the warmth and remain cold.
They should have known.
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End of Chapter One.
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SB: So how did it go? Think I'm trying to hard? Or I just suck? Comments, whether positive or negative, are greatly appreciated!
The words in italic bold are flashbacks from the manga volume 19, when Yoh visits his grandmother and Anna. Words were loosely translated with my standard of Chinese to English. Let me know if I got it wrong. Ehhs, the 'slap him! slap him hard and good!' part was added for my entertainment, the manga does not have it there... And the one about 'What I'm saying is I think I like you' part is also by me. I was guessing it from the text in the manga that Yoh was probably thinking that way to make Anna blush like that.
And I have to mention that the sweet would be taking a major role in this.
All started with the sweet, didn't it?