Dear Diary,

I honestly think something is wrong with me.

No lie.

It seems that whatever happens in my life, nothing is ever good in my eyes. Like at the end of last year, when Snape disappeared, I still felt horrible. No matter how much Harry, Ron, or Ginny tried to cheer me up. It‛s like there was a force inside me, driving all signs of happiness out of me and never to come back again.

Through the summer I should have enjoyed myself, staying with Harry and the Weasley‛s at the Burrow. I do have to admit I was enjoying myself more than usual, even Mrs. Weasley asked me if I was OK because I was being so melancholy. Everyone figured I would come out of my slump when my letter arrived making me Head Girl, but only the smallest smile escaped my lips.

Harry and Ginny soon gave up trying to make me happy, I suppose I aggravated them too much. Ron didn‛t though, he‛s such a sweetie. He kept trying to make me laugh, I suppose I was a bit harsh when I told him that he didn‛t have to try, he looked funny enough to make me laugh. I think I may have hurt his feelings. Oh well. He‛s Ron. He‛ll come crawling back, he always does.

Diagon Alley was completely uneventful, beside the remark made by Ginny when she told me that I didn‛t seem interested in buying my things for this year and seemed out of it. I told her that it was just stress, and that seemed to shut her up. I‛ll admit, yes, I‛m not feeling the best these days, but I know it. I don‛t need people on my case about it.

So now we‛re on the train, headed to Hogwarts. Draco Malfoy‛s head boy (ugh) and I just got finished instructing prefects on what to do and such. I‛m supposed to be patrolling the corridors, but I took a little break. I needed it.

I don‛t know where Ron and Harry and the rest of them are. I suppose I‛ll have to go find them later. I went straight to the Prefect carriage as soon as I got aboard, and now I have climbed up into an empty compartment writing this. I really don‛t feel like looking for them now, maybe if they care they‛ll come and find me.

Well, I better go. I can hear someone calling my name. It‛s probably a confused prefect of something. I‛ll have to go look into it. But first, a few closing words.

I think I‛ve decided to kill myself.

The drastic steps I've taken are just an act of desperation

I knew no one would me miss me so what the Hell

I fought I lied I drank too much

Hurt everyone I've ever touched

And just how much I've hurt you is hard to tell

This is not some cry for help

It's goodbye I wish you well

Because I love you

I'm gonna Kill myself

- Hermione Jane Granger