Note: Heya peepz! READ! REVIEW! READ! REVIEW! MY BESTIE LEFT! Oooooooooooooooooooon t'nod ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooog zil!

Chapter Thirteen: Tips & The Barbarian

Lily awoke. She looked over at James' digital clock. 7:00am. She sighed and rolled over. Her lips met James'. James opened his eyes. He moved away and leaned on one elbow.

'Hello, sweet pea.' He grinned.

'Shut up. Get away, Potter,' she spat back.

'Very well, Lily.' He hopped out of bed and did a fake bow. Then he cocked his head to one side and looked at her on an angle. 'Not looking good, are we?'

'Since when did you become a fashion designer, Pothead?'

'I'm not.' Lily picked at her crumpled robes and her wrinkled blouse.

'Well, whatever,' she replied. She walked out of the door and down the stairs to her own dormitory. James called Sirius.

'Time to wake up, Padfoot,' he said lazily.

'Wh-what?' Sirius scrambled out of bed and bumped his foot on the bed foot. 'Owie wowie YOWCH!' He yelped around the room holding his foot and hopping on the other. 'You – id – i – ot.'

'Nothing done, nothing gained,' smiled James mildly. Remus sat up in bed so fast before you could say "hey diffily daffily".

'I'm busted! I didn't do that Potions essay!' Sirius hobbled over to him and patted him on the back.

'Don't worry, my dear fried Moony,' he said. 'I have some advice. Right now is not the time.' He hobbled into the bathroom with his fresh new uniform to take a shower. Peter sat up in bed with heavy bags under his eyes.

''Miss anything?'

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James bounded down to the Great Hall. Lily had kissed him twice since she had taken the Memory Potion! Maybe by accident, but anyway, it didn't really matter. Lily was sitting across the table from James as usual. He grabbed a bowl of Cheerios and started gulping them down.

'Potter, do you have to be so greedy?' Lily brushed James' spit and Cheerios from her clean blouse.

'Sorry, love.'

'Don't you dare "love" me.'

'Whatever, love.' Lily just pursed up her lips and stared down at her omelette and bacon. Remus trudged down at that moment and groaned.

'I've only done five-inches of that twenty-five inch essay. And it's nothing at all. I've put it in practically fifty-six size font.' He looked over at Sirius with a furrowed brow. He was putting strange symbols all over his parchment. Sirius saw Remus looking and just grinned.

'Moony, Moony, here is my tip – when all else fails, decorate!' responded Sirius. (Note: That's my motto! Did I mention it was trademark? Anywayz it really did work!)

'Right… Well, Padfoot, here is my tip – when all else fails, put your writing in size fifty-six font!' Remus slammed down his books.

'Touchy, Remus?' asked Lily.

'Yes,' he grumbled. 'And we've got that bloody Ball coming up in two days' time.'

Two days' time? thought Lily. Oh, no. I HAVEN'T GOT A DRESS YET! Lily grabbed her bag and quickly sprinted to McGonagall's office. She knocked.

'Come in!' McGonagall called. Lily scrambled in and tried to look presentable.

'Excuse me, Professor, when is the next Hogsmeade trip?'

'Tomorrow afternoon, after the afternoon classes. Is that all, Miss Evans?'

'Yes. Thankyou, Professor.'

'I'll see you in Transfiguration, Miss Evans. Be sure to pick out a nice dress,' she added, as if reading Lily's mind. She winked and walked briskly out. Lily sighed and trudged down to Potions.

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Lily walked through the Potions door. She was nice and early, for once. She took her usual seat behind James and checked her watch. 8:25am. Perfect. The Barbarian Potion would start working in 5 minutes approximately. James walked in 2 minutes after Lily. He walked up behind her and pulled her hair playfully as he sat down behind her instead of in front. Lucius Malfoy slid into the seat in front of Lily.

'Alright there with Potter, sunshine?' he said with a teasing smile. Lily just rolled her eyes.

'Jerk,' she muttered as she moved to the seat behind James. James made a face and moved behind Lily again. Lily was starting to get agitated. Was James trying to dip her hair in his inkpot or what? She quickly moved to the seat behind him. James stood up and gathered his books to move behind Lily, but she was smirking at him. She was in the last row already. James scowled and was about to dump his books back on the desk in front of Lily but Malfoy had hurriedly sprawled his books over the desk. James moved up to the next desk, but Frank Longbottom took that. He had no choice but to move to the front row. He slammed his books down on the table as the bell rang. Lily smiled. It was 8:30am. First, James started sniffing his armpits like a baboon. Armadillo Avery had just walked in.

'Mr. Potter!' he rapped sharply. 'What do you think you are doing? If you want to ruin this class, you can go outside and do it, but just stay still!' James obediently went outside and stood beside the door stock-still. The class began to giggle. 'Silence! I will not tolerate this behaviour! Detention, Potter, tomorrow afternoon!' James started dancing around Avery.

'Avery the idiot, Avery the idiot,' he sang like a little boy. Avery went as red as Lily's fiery red hair.

'Potter!' he roared. 'My office! Detention for the rest of the day after this class!' He grabbed James by the collar and shoved him roughly into the classroom. Armadillo Avery banged the steel dungeon door very hard.

'Anyone who whispers or puts a toe out of line gets detention with me and Mr. Potter!' he barked out. 'Any queries?' Brittany nervously raised her hand and spoke.

'Professor, I, uh, I-'

'Detention!' roared Avery again. Everyone jumped in their seats. Some were amused. Most were afraid.

'Here's a tip, Potter,' sneered Lucius Malfoy as James sat down. 'Never get on the wrong side of Armadillo Avery.' Lily stifled a laugh and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. James was truly acting like a barbarian.

Note: Well… we'll see how James' detention goes in the next chapter!