Thank You For The Venom
Sister, I'm not much a poet but a criminal,
And you never had a chance,
Love it or leave it you can't understand,
A pretty face but you do so carry on.
I walked down the dusty streets of the town of Halmetz toward the hospital when I heard a familiar voice calling my name. "Well, well, well, Caïna. ARMs, is it? Oh, how the mighty have fallen." He said, his red eyes glinting with malice as he slid his glasses up the bridge of his nose and crossed his arms over his chest. I gave him a half-smirk and turned back to what I was doing. "Hey, what happened to you? Odessa disbands for a month and you're already making friends with the enemy. What the fuck gives with you nowadays?" He asked, slinging his hands into his pockets as he spoke.
I shrugged and kept walking, his steady footsteps telling me that he was following me. "I just thought that if a new war breaks out that I'd be on the winning side this time. You know, and not play "Kill The Terrorist" anymore." I said. "Why don't you just leave and quit bothering me? Go on! Go shoot yourself or something, I don't really care, just get out of here!" I spat angrily, smirking to myself as he seemed to stop following me. "Alright, Caïna. I'll leave you alone now. I wanted to know if you were still alive and now that I do, my mission is complete. I'll go now." He said, turning away from me.
I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me,
I'm just the way that the doctor made me, on and on.
Love is the red that rose on your coffin door,
What's life like bleeding on the floor?
"Too right you will...Judecca." I said as I resumed my walk to the hospital to check up on my fallen comrades. It took me another few minutes to get through the crowds of people clambering for their autographs, but eventually, I got through to them. I found Riruka out of bed and sitting in the office off the end of the hallway, eating a jelly doughnut. I half-knew that she had been to Meria but I wasn't entirely sure until I caught sight of the bag which read 'Meria Bakery' in bold letters. "So, how's Ashley doing?" I asked as I took a doughnut from the bag.
She stared wide-eyed at me as I lifted the pastry to my mouth and her eyes got bigger than dinner plates as she stared at me. "What? I haven't eaten since six this morning and this one is all mine. You have a whole bag full of them, so eat those. It won't kill you to let me steal just one." I said as I stood. "I'm gonna go check on Brad now, so you keep that guard-dog thing up and no one will ever steal your precious doughnuts." She kept the lost puppy look up though, and I sighed in defeat. "Alright, alright already!" I said as I conjured three more, more than compensation for my stolen one if I say so myself, and went out of the room to check on the assassin.
You'll never make me leave,
I wear this on my sleeve,
Give me a reason to believe.
So gimme all your poison.
"Well, if it isn't the terrorist? What'cha doing here, big guy? Where's that Hessian boyfriend of yours?" Two men, obviously drunk off their asses, were blocking my only exit. I blushed at the Hessian comment, amazed at their amount of intelligence despite their inebriated state of being, but quickly brushed it off and pushed past them into the open air. The stench of alcohol flooded my nostrils as I walked toward the tavern to find Brad. I passed the ARM shop and was amazed to find Judecca in there, buying more ammo, and I decided to make a quick detour.
"Well, now's who's fallen from grace? Buying ammo, are we? Two months ago, you would have just killed everyone in this dump - no offense sir - and stolen everything here. What happened, feeling like going legit but don't know where to start?" I asked, leaning my whole body up against the doorframe. He scowled at me and turned back to the man to pay him. "You already said that you don't care about me and I respect that, but do you have to rub it in? I know that Odessa is gone, but you don't have to make me feel worse about it, Caïna." He said, pushing past me into the street. "Oh, shut up and go die, will you? Just the sight of you makes me sick!" I said, shoving him. "You've tried suicide before and it didn't work, well you know that the twelveth time's the charm, right?"
And gimme all your pills,
And gimme all your hopeless hearts and make me ill,
You're running after something that you'll never kill.
If this is what you want, then fire at will.
"Alright, Caïna. I'll level with you." He said, throwing his newly-loaded shotgun to my feet. "I was going to kill myself but I'll let you do it, seeing as you seem to want me dead so much. Take the safety off and shoot. Go on, kill me!" He said, spreading his arms out as far as they would go. "If this is what you want, then fire at will." He shouted, staring up at the sky with a desperate gleam in his eye. I nodded and pointed it at him. "Well, what the hell are you waiting for, Caïna? Shoot if you can." He said quietly with an air of surrender about him.
I took a deep breath, held the gun at eye level and, with tears streaming down my face from some unknown well, tried to fire. The only thing I heard was a clicking sound, my reward for not turning the safety off like he'd told me to. My hands shook so much from fear that I dropped the gun and slid to my knees. "I…I can't. I just can't!" I screamed to the sky as the tears followed through with their threat and started falling.I heard a loud noise that sounded suspiously like a gunshot going off in the far distance. I heard a hacking sound and saw blood being thrown upon the already red soil. I looked up at Judecca to see him holding his head in pain. He coughed up more blood as he fell to his knees, his eyes watering with the pain, I supposed.
Preach all you want but who's gonna save me?
I keep a gun on the book you gave me, hallelujah lock and load.
Black is the kiss that touches the serpent son,
It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one.
I raced over to him and reached out to touch his arm. "No, don't you touch me, Caïna. I'm alright, so there's no reason to dirty your hands." He said as he doubled over in pain, vomiting blood. My heart softened at this and I gazed up at the cloudless sky, remembering all the good times we'd had together. I sighed and looked back at him. "It's alright if I dirty my hands for you, Judecca. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. " I said as I took his hand in mine. "Don't fucking touch me!" He yelled, yanking his hand out of my grasp and turning away to vomit again. I stoked his cheek and lay my hand in his hair as I knelt down, slid my other hand onto his back and rubbed softly. "Judecca…how did this happen?" I asked.
He leaned over, set one hand on the ground to steady himself and the other to his stomach to stem the blood flow as more poured from his mouth. He shook his head as his glasses fell to the ground and broke. I started to reach for them, but he knocked my hand away. "No, just leave it alone. I'll be fine…a few broken ribs is all. I may have been shot as well, but it's not like that hasn't happened before..." He said, breathing hard as he started to get up. "No, don't move. I'll go get a doctor." I said, and started to head for the hospital. "No, just let me die, Caïna. I don't deserve your help. No one deserves anything from you. Just…go get my gun for me. Will you? I'd like to end it all now." He said, leaning over to choke out more blood. He started to get up again, but before he could, his breath caught in his throat, he stumbled back, fell and hit his head, knocking him out cold.
You'll never make me leave,
I wear this on my sleeve,
Give me a reason to believe.
So gimme all your poison.
When he woke up, I was using my magic to help me carry him to the hospital. "Caïna, what are you doing?" He asked bewildered. "Well, you said that you'd broken a rib, right?" He nodded. "Well, it could have punctured your lung and walking makes it worse, so I'm carrying you." I said and opened the door with a well-placed kick. "Where's the hell's the fucking doctor?" I asked angrily. Riruka got up hastily and ran in his office to get him. There was some rapid talking, then a noise that told me that the young mage had slapped him. The doctor came out holding his cheek and I motioned to Judecca, who was still suspended in mid-air. The doctor nodded and I levitated the injured gunner over to a bed and lay him down gently. He coughed and a small river of blood trickled out of his mouth.
And gimme all your pills
And gimme all your hopeless hearts and make me ill,
You're running after something that you'll never kill.
If this is what you want, then fire at will.
"Well, you're in bad shape, young man. Two broken ribs and a half-healed gunshot wound in your shoulder. If you ask me, you're damn lucky to have such a caring kid around you. If it wasn't for him, you'd be dead right now." The doctor said. "Yes, I know. He's really something, isn't she?" Judecca closed his eyes and attempted to fall asleep. I blushed and walked outside. "I'll be back in a few minutes, Decca. I've got something for you and I have to go get it out of the Chateau." I said and went to the spot that he'd lost his glasses earlier. Seeing that all of the pieces were still where I'd left them, I smiled. Using my magic, I rounded them up and put them back into the frame.
I called Randolph to me and asked him to make the glasses whole again, like they had been before they broke. He obliged and when he had done his job, I smiled at him. "I really have no need of my magic when I'm with him, Randolph. Do you what I'm feeling for him, because if you do, I'd be very grateful if you would share that fact with me." I said. "Yes, I know what you feel for Judecca. You love him, or so my empathy says." He replied and disappeared. "Randolph, I'd release you from my service but I don't know how to go about it..." I said. "It is already done, Caïna." I looked up to the sky to watch as my magic dissipated and went back into the Mediums that my new comrades carried. "Thank you, Randolph. I will never need magic ever again thanks to him. I will miss you, though." I said as I hurried back into the hospital to give Judecca my present.
You'll never make me leave,
I wear this on my sleeve,
You wanna follow something?
Give me a better cause to lead.
When he woke up later, I was sitting beside him stroking his hair. "Are you awake now?" I asked gently. He reached up and took my hand. "Yes, thanks to you. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, but I was just angry. Not at you, but at myself. I didn't think that life was worth anything, but...then I met you and, well..." He trailed off as sleep overcame him again. "I know, Judecca, I know." I said as I left to check on the others. "So, how is he?" Riruka asked gently. "He's doing better, I think. He just needs rest and a lot of love and care to get him well." I said as she looked to the door where Ashley stood with Marival. "So, how is the gunman? Is he all ready for the gallows, yet? The only good terrorist is a dead terrorist, I always say. When will he be hanged...oh, that's right! They're not going to hang him, they're going to put him up with the firing squad and let them kill him that way, aren't they Caïna?" The vampire asked as she set her hand on my shoulder.
I turned to her, smiled, and punched her as hard as I could in the stomach. "That was for insulting Judecca!" I said and aimed a kick to her shoulder. "That was for hurting Judecca!" I grabbed her wrist and hit her arm with an open-handed strike which shattered the fragile bone with a sickening crack. "That was for Odessa!" I knocked her legs out from under her and she fell onto her back, knocking the wind out of her. "That was for Cocytus!" I backed her into the wall and thrust the heel of my hand into her nose twice. "Those were for Antenora and Ptolomea!" When she fell to the ground, I kicked her in the ribs four times. "Those were for Vinsfeld and my family, all whom you fucking killed!" I picked her up and threw her into the wall, crushing her skull and killing her violently."And, that? That was for everybody else!" I cired angrily. I turned to the others who were horror-stricken. "And, if any of you ever tell anyone about what went on here today, I will personally hunt you down and gut you all like fucking fishes!" I screamed and ran back into the room that Judecca lay asleep in.
Just give me what I need.
Give me a reason to believe.
So gimme all your poison.
And gimme all your pills
"Well, I'm not going to face that in battle ever again, are you?" Kanon asked. No one spoke.
And gimme all your hopeless hearts and make me ill,
You're running after something that you'll never kill.
If this is what you want, then fire at will.
So gimme all your poison.
And gimme all your pills
And gimme all your hopeless hearts and make me ill,
You're running after something that you'll never kill.
If this is what you want, then fire at will.