Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter. Again, Harry's obsession with Asia, Draco's obsession with chocolate, Saria's mouthing off to Pansy, belong to my friend Shannon.
"Now, may I introduce a new student?" said Professor McGonagall. I was standing behind her, awkwardly shifting my weight. "This is Liana Curtis."
I smiled uncertainly at everyone in the Great Hall. Draco, Shane, Saria and Kaitlyn shot me encouraging looks from the Slytherin table, and Blaise Zabini was making fun of a skinny, black-haired boy with glasses. Four people who were evidently the boy's friends - a girl with bushy brown hair, a girl with bright red hair, a short boy with light brown hair and another boy, very tall, with red hair like the girl's - were looking at Zabini like they wanted to kill him.
"Miss Curtis, the Sorting Hat?"
I sat down on a three-legged stool as Professor McGonagall dropped a huge, patched hat onto my head. A voice spoke in my ear.
"Hmm... not dumb, I can see, not dumb in the slightest. In fact, rather intelligent. Not as brave as one could be, but not a coward either. Difficult... oh, this one is a SLYTHERIN!"
The last word rang into the Great Hall and I stood up, taking the hat off, and walking to the Slytherin table. Everyone was clapping, as I sat down between Saria and Kaitlyn.
"I almost died," I said matter-of-factly. "I hate getting in front of people unless I have a song, or script, or something!"
"Well, you're a Slytherin now!" exclaimed Kaitlyn, giving me a hug. I grinned.
"Welcome to the best House in the school," added Saria. "Now, the first years come in and we sit and starve while they're getting their Houses."
After many growlings of the stomach and eleven new Slytherins, food appeared on the plates. I loaded up with many things I liked and a few of which I didn't know the names, because they were English, but no meat. I'm a vegetarian. After a few bites, I noticed Saria didn't have any meat on her plate either.
"Vegetarian?" I asked, my mouth full of pumpernickel.
"Yep," she replied. I swallowed the bread and looked around at the food, one particularly odd pot standing out.
"What is that?"
Saria followed my gaze. "That would be Fran Drescher. No, it's not, it's steak-and-kidney pudding." I guess my face looked appalled, because she added, "Yeah, sounds gross."
"Tastes great," said Draco, his mouth full of it.
"Does not," argued Kaitlyn. Draco nodded vigorously.
"On a completely different note, I really must say that I think Gryffindor will win Quidditch this year," said Shane idly, twirling his fork. Draco was on him immediately.
"No way!"
"Come on, Harry kicks your ass every time you play!"
"No, he doesn't! He just wins!"
A heated discussion followed, and Saria and Kaitlyn began laughing. "They do this every year," explained Saria.
"They left without me," I said, putting on my best imitation of Sid from Ice Age. "They do this every year!...Why? Doesn't anyone love me? Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the sloth?"
"Hey, wide body, curb it next time!" yelled Saria, which is another line.
"You like Ice Age?" I asked.
"Are you kidding? That was, like, one of the best animated movies ever! Did you ever see Pirates of the Caribbean?"
"I love Pirates! Did you know they're making a second one?"
"Yeah!" Saria was really excited now. "I can't wait!"
"Oh no," muttered Kaitlyn. "You got her started, Liana, now she'll never-"
"What was your favorite part?"
"Probably when Jack throws Will the sword and he's fighting with his hands tied behind his back! Orlando Bloom is so hot, even though I kind of hate that fact because all the preps like him."
"Me too, only it's Jesse McCartney."
"Isn't your last name...?"
"McCartney? Yeah..."
I laughed. "No relation, then?"
"Not that Ghandi knows of."
Shane and Draco were still arguing about Quidditch. I smiled, and looked around at the people in the Great Hall, stopping on the Gryffindor table. I caught the eye of the girl who had been glaring at Zabini, and smiled, but she just shook her head, giving me a scathing look. Confused, I looked to her right, and caught a different eye, of the brown-haired boy who had been with her, the black-haired kid and the redhead. He gave me a kind of sarcastic smile.
"Um, should I be worried?" I asked, indicating their backs. "They looked like they wanted to kill me."
"Who, Rodney and Hermit Crab?" asked Shannon, looking surprised. "Oh, I bet they just saw you and Zabini on the train and got the wrong idea. I'll call them over. Jillian, too. OY, JILLIAN! RODNEY! HERMIT CRAB! RON! HARRY! GINNY!" she yelled, beckoning them over. Five Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw stood up to join us.
"Guys, this is Liana," said Kaitlyn. I smiled nervously.
"Know Blaise Zabini, Liana?" asked Ron.
"Kind of - he was giving me some trouble on the train."
"Oh."
"Konnitiwa, I'm Harry Potter," said the kid with black hair.
"Wow, really? I've heard of you."
"I told you, even in America, Harry," said Shane. "Please, don't torture her with the story of the Great Japanese Baby."
"It's the Great CHINESE Baby, you sinner!"
"I don't care!"
"Shut up, Harry," said the Ravenclaw. She had brown hair and was very skinny.
"Harry, look! Chicken teriyaki! Fetch!" Saria threw a piece of it in the direction of the Gryffindor table and he ran to get it. The girl with brown shook her head.
"I'm Hermione Granger," she said.
"No she's not, she's Hermit Crab," said Kaitlyn.
"Oh, honestly!" she said, apparently annoyed. "Come on, then, you've been calling me that for two years!"
"What made you think we'd stop?" asked the Ravenclaw. "I'm Jillian, by the way, Jillian Radcliffe."
"Erm, all right, then," said the tall guy with red hair, looking at Hermione/Hermit Crab apprehensively. "I'm Ron Weasley."
"Ginny Weasley," said the girl with red hair.
"Hello."
"Rodney Abrams," said the boy with brown hair.
"Why do you insist on throwing the teriyaki, Saria, isn't it easier to just give it to me?" demanded Harry, coming back to the Slytherin table.
"The point is to get you and your Asia-obsessed self away from us."
"Ice cold," said Kaitlyn.
"Bah-URN, baby," added Shane. Harry, glaring, merely chomped on his teriyaki. I laughed at this.
After dinner, I was pretty hungry, as there was little to eat that I dared to try. Dessert, however, was incredible.
"Are you saving your food so you won't starve and be too weak to run from the raptors?" Saria asked me. "Because you have quite a lot."
"I'm cutting down," I informed her, heaping my plate with chocolate-peanut butter ice cream.
"I can only imagine."
I grinned. "I was known in my old school as Ice Cream Girl. I remember one time my friend Brianna was just like, 'One day I'm going to melt all her ice cream...'"
Everyone laughed. I grinned, shoveling ice cream into my mouth. New friends, and ice cream to boot? Hogwarts wasn't seeming too bad.
After dessert, we headed to our respective towers. Draco and Saria were walking next to each other, her with her head on his shoulder. Shane was pretending to retch, much the the amusement of Kaitlyn and myself. Kaitlyn pulled a Wonka bar out of her pocket.
"Bought it from the trolley," she said. Draco's head suddenly snapped up like he was a bloodhound that had scented a rabbit.
"SHE HAS CHOCOLATE!"
"DON'T LET HIM KILL ME!" screeched Kaitlyn, running for her life. "CATCH!" She launched the bar of chocolate over Draco's head into Shane's open hands.
"Run for the chocolate, Draco!" yelled Saria as Draco turned around and barreled at Shane. "I'm open! I'm open!"
"GO LONG!"
Saria ran and caught the chocolate like a football player. "HEADS UP, LIANA!" she called as Draco tackled her, throwing it. I caught it and tossed it to Kaitlyn, who wasted no time in unwrapping it and breaking off a large slab, popping it in her mouth and licking the half that was left.
"Aaaaaaaawwwww," whined Draco. By then, we were all bent in half with laughter. Suddenly, Kaitlyn grabbed my hand in a bone-crunching grip.
"There he is! There he is!"
"Ow - Kaitlyn - the hand, the bone, the pain!"
Kaitlyn wasn't listening, instead opting for following the handsome guy walking past us with her eyes. Shane rolled his eyes.
"That's Cedric Diggory," he said, sounding bored. "Kaitlyn's been infatuated with him since year one."
"He's the hottest guy in the school," she sighed. "Even if he is a Hufflepuff."
"Ahem?" Shane and Draco both asked.
"Oh, Draco, you're taken, and you guys are both like brothers."
"Yeah, only I can call him hot," said Saria, feigning indignance.
"He isn't bad-looking," I said, surveying him.
"I MUST BE IN SIXTH YEAR!" screamed Kaitlyn, and everyone (including Cedric) turned to stare at her. Saria, Draco, and Shane burst out laughing, and I tried not to laugh. It was my first day, we must remember. Kaitlyn merely shrugged it off.
"A little loud, Kaitlyn?"
"Shut up, Draco."
"Wait, I know a better way to get people to stare at you," said Saria. "Watch this. STOP STARING AT ME!"
Of course, everyone turned to stare at her. We all burst out laughing and people hurried on.
Inside the common room, Saria and Kaitlyn showed me to the third year girl's room. It was shared with Pansy Parkinson (the most conniving, evil bitch in the school, according to a whispered introduction courtesy of Kaitlyn) and Tabitha Winston (the biggest whore in the school, according to a second whispered introduction, courtesy of Saria this time).
"New girl, huh?" said Pansy, as I started putting things from my trunk onto my desk. "Are you a pureblood?"
"No," I replied.
"I suppose you're not even a half-blood, then?" she said, looking at me like I was pond scum or something.
"No."
"You and Richards are the only Mudbloods EVER to be Sorted into Slytherin!"
"Whoop-de-friggin'-doo," I muttered under my breath.
"What are you wearing?" asked Tabitha, looking down her nose at my T-shirt, fishnet sleeves and stockings, and black skirt.
"She's wearing a long black dress with holes at the bottoms and one sleeve ripped off, and it has a red corset over it, with red lace gloves with the fingertips off," snapped Saria. "Fuck off, Winston."
"I think she might just want to, just give her any guy above third year," said Kaitlyn. "Draco and Shane have it worse, poor guys," she said to me in an undertone. "They get to share with Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini."
"They do?" I asked, horrified.
"But besides your roommates, Hogwarts is awesome," said Saria, shooting murderous glances at Parkinson and Winston.
"Classes start tomorrow," Kaitlyn reminded her.
"Damn. Actually, we should've gotten our schedules - aha!" She reached under her pillow and pulled out a schedule. "Ghandi says that Dumbledore poofs them there with magic after the feast."
"Ghandi?"
"Don't ask," said Kaitlyn. I shrugged.
It turned out that third-year Slytherins were in classes together aside from the electives, along with third-years of other Houses. First period Divination was shared with the Ravenclaws ("Yay, we can fall asleep with Jillian!" exclaimed Saria), second period was electives (I had Ancient Runes with the other fourteen people who had taken it, while Kaitlyn and Saria took Muggle Studies), third period was Potions with the Gryffindors, fourth was study hour, fifth was Herbology with the Ravenclaws, sixth was Care of Magical Creatures with the Hufflepuffs, then lunch, then Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors, ninth period was rest hour, tenth was Transfiguration with the Gryffindors, then dinner, and then we were free to roam about the castle until ten thirty, for third, fourth and fifth years.
"Full day," I said, my eyes wide.
"First year was brutal, you'll be fine," said Saria bracingly.
I pulled a short black nightgown with transparent purple lace hanging down to the knees on, and lay down to sleep. Kaitlyn was rummaging around in her trunk for something. After twenty minutes of this, I sat up.
"Need something, Kaitlyn?" I asked sleepily. The bed was comfortable.
"Yes! I found it!"
She climbed into her bed, wearing pink flannel pajama shorts and a white tank top.
"She's looking for the CD that Cedric gave her," Saria said, rolling her eyes. "The last Metallica every."
"I fall asleep with it," Kaitlyn said, not sheepish in the slightest.
"Sad."
"What about you, Miss I'm-Never-Going-To-Let-My-Big-Necklace-Out-Of-My-Sight-And-Put-It-In-My-Sock-Drawer-So-No-One-Steals-It?"
"Shut up, now!"
I grinned, snuggling into the covers as Stimpy padded up the bed. He and Molly, a black Jamaican cat belonging to Saria, were becoming friends. I stroked his head and tried to fall asleep, the prospect of classes looming over my head.