CHAPTER TWO: THE CONFUSING CONCIERGE
The man stopped and turned to face Mr Poe. He spoke in a heavy, clipped accent "Mr Poe, my name is Jacques and I am the only remaining member of the Montgomery family. You have been brought here to help us find the Baudelaires and get to Hotel Dénouement on time for the Thursday meeting." Mr Poe coughed into his handkerchief and nodded, and then they left the room and went up to the tallest room. There Mr Poe changed into a Very Fancy Disguise and sent aVery Fraught Danger message. The message read: To all Volunteers, there is a meeting on Thursday at Hotel Dénouement. It is imperative that you get there by Thursday in order to attend the meeting. Also, the Baudelaires are also wanted, it is urgent that they are found!
Signed,
Mr Poe. After he had sent it Mr Poe paused for a second then headed back down stairs. The old man was waiting for him and as soon as he appeared, they both went outside and hailed a taxi to take them to Hotel Dénouement.
The taxi slowed down and a grubby, fat man looked out of the scum-infested window "Eh? You want a ride? To where?" The driver looked confused as the old man explained that they wanted a ride to Hotel Dénouement. As the driver grumbled, Mr Poe opened the door and slid into the back seat. The old man did the same, though not before moving a dark brown anorak from the seat. He gave a map to the driver and off they went.
Mr Poe coughed into his handkerchief for quite a while and when he stopped, the old man spoke to him from the front seat. "As soon as we get to the Hotel, it is vital that we stop Olaf and Esme Squalor." Mr Poe nodded and coughed even more into his handkerchief. They soon arrived at Hotel Dénouement and as it drove around the lake, Mr Poe stared deep into the pitch black, icy waters of it. Then he looked up and at the Hotel. It was massive, towering high above the taxi and very imposing. The old man paid the driver and stepped out of the taxi along with Mr Poe. The old man squinted for his eyes were not what they used to be and looked through his small, green glasses. Mr Poe looked around and saw another taxi just pulling. A very frail, very old, very pale lady stepped out and looked at the Hotel. The old man went over to her and greeted her warmly "Josephine! It's been so long since the fire!" She smiled at him and turned to pay the taxi-driver. The old man winked at Mr Poe and then while the taxi driver was distracted, took a small, damp object out of the passenger seat and stowed it safely into his overcoat. Then they turned and headed into the Hotel. Meanwhile, high above them floated Hector's hot air balloon. Everyone on board rushed to look at the Hotel slowly coming into view as the balloon descended onto the roof of the Hotel, right above the Tanning Salon. Mr Poe stepped into the grimy Hotel and took a deep sniff of musky odour. But he didn't need to for it hit him like a brick wall as soon as he stepped through the doors and around the rubble of chairs and other irrelevant objects. The foyer was quiet, too quiet and as they stared around the lobby it seemed like they were the only ones left.
Eventually the old man spoke and led the way to the elevator. Josephine whimpered in fear but was coerced into getting into it when Mr Poe grabbed her firmly and pushed her in. Then he stepped in along with the old man and together they ascended to the 13th floor.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Klaus, Sunny and Violet stepped out of the elevator and looked around in surprise. Instead of the griminess of the place, it was clean and many doors led off the central hallway. Each door had its own plaque stating what was inside and Violet saw that in the corner was a Laundry Room and straight ahead of them was a meeting room. They slowly advanced towards it and gingerly, turned the knob and stepped into the crowd of people.
Mr Poe, Josephine and the old man disembarked the creaky old elevator and the old man led them to a doorway that was shrouded in darkness and cobwebs. They all stepped into the room and Mr Poe gasped in shock. For it was a complete Library of Records, but not any library. For this one was filled with all the answers to the questions, and it had many important artefacts hidden within, the old man lead them to a row of books on the far side of the room and pulled out a book titled Various Fancy Dialogs for Parties and limped into a musty, old room. But it was not the room that held their gaze. It was what was in the cases that captivated and enchanted them. Inside three of the cases were: The Sugar Bowl, The Snicket File and The History of V.F.D. Josephine gasped in shock for in one of the other cases was a file for the Anwhistles. The old man turned to them and spoke in a hushed voice "You must tell no-one about this, my name is Hal. I used to work at the Library of Records at Heimlich Hospital before it burned down." Mr Poe nodded gravely and they spun round as, suddenly the door to the Library slammed close and a wheezy laugh along with the faint smell and smoke of a cigar reached their faces. Out of the many rows of books Sir approached and spoke hoarsely "That horseradish is poisonous, just like the Baudelaires, you won't live for much longer! Heheh" Josephine cried out in fear and then, Hal hobbled forwards and locked the door in Sir's face. He turned to them and spoke gravely "Quick, we must act now!" He ran to the Sugar Bowl and took it. Josephine took the rest of the files and Mr Poe took the Snicket, Kafka, Winnipeg, Salmonella, Widdershins, Squalor, Strauss, Baudelaire, Poe, Olaf, Spats, V.F.D, Kelliher, Heath and Kent files before rushing to a concealed entrance and following Hal and Josephine through. Smoke filled the hallway and they made their way to the roof coughing. Justice Strauss, Olaf, the Baudelaires, Esme Squalor, Carmelita Spats, Jerome Squalor, Kit Snicket and many other people were up there. They were all crammed into several boats and Hal, Josephine, Mr Poe, Babs, Duchess Winnipeg, Frank, Dewey , Captain Widdershins, Hooky, Fiona, Phil, the freaks, Nero, Mr Remora, Mrs Bass and Bruce all squeezed into the last remaining boat. Then, they toppled off the side and floated safely down to the sea, with the other boats in tow. Far, far behind them the hot air balloon flew high above them, and behind it was Hotel Dénouement alight like a beacon as the fire raged within it.
As they slowly meandered through the sea, they wondered what would happen now. Eventually they reached an inlet leading to Lake Lachrymose and docked at Damocles Dock.
They carefully clambered out the ill-fitting, wooden boats and Justice Strauss turned to Olaf and his crew. Standing next to Count Olaf was Esme Squalor. Carmelita Spats and Ernest. However they were quickly outnumbered ten to one and on all sides loomed members of V.F.D. Count Olaf leered and turned, but instead of running he merely took his shoes off and with that, began running across the slippery planks of the jetty. They all chased after Olaf, Esme, Carmelita and Ernest but to no avail. The four quickly ran out of the gates and to a waiting automobile. As it turned, Mr Poe caught a glimpse of the driver and to his surprise it was Josephine. Luckily she had dropped the files and they were laid over the planks where she had dropped them as she had hurried to the black jeep. It took off and headed in the direction of the City, no doubt back to Olaf's castle or Esme's penthouse. Violet looked at Sunny and Klaus in utter shock, then the silence was broken by Sunny's voice "Where they going?" Violet merely sighed and began picking up the scraps that remained of the Quagmire commonplace books. Mr Poe turned to Hal and Hal in turn, turned to the volunteers. "It is time to exterminate these pests once and for all!" V.F.D cheered and as a mob would do, they all set off for the Anxious Clown Restaurant. As they approached, they saw it was closed. Massive, thick iron shutters lay over the windows and over the door was a large, wrought iron frame. Just then, Larry the waiter opened the doors and the volunteers swept into the restaurant. Violet, Klaus and Sunny followed suit and eventually sat down at one of the many tables, watching as the shutters were rolled down again, then the meeting truly began.
Meanwhile back in the City, Olaf snickered evilly as they sat in the luxurious penthouse that was of Esme Squalor. As they sipped Aquatic Martinis they dreamt up new ways to steal the fortune. Eventually, Olaf moved over to the enormous window and pointed with glee. His long, scraggly, bony finger was pointed in the direction of Mulctuary Money Management and Esme laughed shrilly as she too joined him, looking at the magnificent building that was the Mulctuary Money Management Bank. They laughed in chorus as they descended in the newly "in" elevators down back to the black jeep. There, they set off to the Bank ready to steal the fortunes and torch the Winnipeg Mansion.
Mr Poe coughed into his handkerchief as the meeting wore on, eventually they came up with a plan and everything was agreed. They all piled into several Anxious Clown cars and set off for the City. The only one that stayed behind was Larry and no-one noticed him as he slid the Sugar Bowl from under the table, and into the handbag of Duchess Winnipeg. Then they laughed raucously in the empty restaurant before getting into a grey, leather Rolls Royce that would escort them to the Winnipeg Mansion.