The First Crack (Act III)

The slamming of the door and the audible finality of the lock clicking echoed throughout the hallway of the house. Shalimar groaned aloud, "Well, that went over well, I'll take it." She remarked to Brennan. "Wonder who did what?" Several scenarios flashed before her eyes.

Brennan shook his head slowly as he finished pulling the Ninja out of the SUV. "Shall we see what damage can be taken care of?" he asked and trailed off, as Shalimar was already halfway down the hall to where Jesse and Lexa had been waiting.

One look around the room, seeing Jesse's dumbfounded face and Lexa's telltale smirk reminded Shal of an old song, "If a picture paints a thousand words..."

Lexa stared at Jesse's back intently; fully aware of the inner turmoil he was going through. She remembered the long nights that he had gone through after Emma's supposed death, before he came to trust her. Theirs was a strange relationship that had taken time to forge and grow.

Now Emma was back, and that threatened her. It threatened Jesse too. She wondered briefly how it was going to turn out for all of them.

"Jesse, what happened?" Shalimar asked as she strolled across to them.

"I don't know. One minute she was here, the next she was gone." Shal's eyes narrowed.

"And what were you two doing? No, don't tell me, you were kissing," Shal guessed as Jesse nodded and Lexa looked away, not so much guilty as much as frustration. Shalimar continued, "That was real brilliant, Jess," as she cuffed him on the shoulder. "Just brilliant. We haven't seen her in months, and she has to see you two kissing right off. You could have broken it to her a little more subtly."

Shal ran back up the hallway and knocked on the door where Emma had disappeared. "Emma? Please open the door."

"Go away, Shal, please," came Emma's hoarse reply.

"Emma, please. Let me explain."

"There is no need to explain. I can see what has been going on," Emma continued to herself, even if I couldn't sense it, there's too much going on." She slumped on the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest and bawled. She was shocked more than anything, even more than last night at Sanctuary's ruins. She had no place here, not since she had nothing to contribute to the team, and Lexa so obviously had a place here.

Shal knocked a few more times, and then gave up when Brennan dragged her away to the other room. She glared icy daggers at Jesse and Lexa, wanting to kill both of them. Emma looked so vulnerable and lost at the other safehouse. She couldn't imagine being away that long from her "pride" with no contact like Emma had just gone through.

A silence enveloped the group for several minutes. Shal's feral hearing picked up Emma's muffled sobbing in the other room and her heart broke with each breath.

"So, now what?" Brennan broke the silence.

Lexa shrugged and Jesse ran his hands through his hair nervously. Shal continued to give them the icy stares, her eyes flashing to gold briefly as she fought the urge to strangle them.

"I guess I should go talk to her," Jesse said quietly. He didn't move right away.

Brennan kicked his shins, "Go, Jesse. Right now you're probably the only one who can talk sense to her."

Lexa brushed his hand and headed to the kitchen, feeling the distrust from Shal and Brennan. She rummaged through the cupboards and found some canned meats to fix for their lunch.

Shal crossed her arms and glared until Jesse walked down the hallway. He knocked and then phased through the door. He sat down on the edge of the bed, wringing his hands as he chose his words carefully. Emma froze when she felt the bed move. "Emma, I sorry that you came in at the worst possible moment."

Emma rolled to the other side of the bed putting as much distance between her and Jesse. Jesse swallowed hard.

"It didn't happen over night. I grieved a long time for you and Adam. Our team floundered with out you two. The Dominion sent Lexa to complete our team. They've been controlling the team for a long time before that obliquely. You should give Lexa a chance, and get to know her. She helped all of us come back, and we helped her after her brother Leo was killed..." A flash of the memory of that day reminded Jesse of why he was here.

Emma continued to ignore him, showing no response to him or his words. He reached over and touched her back, wincing as she visibly recoiled from him. "Let me check those scars, Emma, to see if Adam's equipment here can fix them."

Emma took a ragged breath. "Why bother, Jesse? There's no place here for me anymore. I don't..." she trailed off.

"Emma, that's a load of bull shit! You always have a place on the team, no matter what. We've missed you terribly."

Emma rolled over and regarded Jesse with her bloodshot and hollow eyes, before she said anything, trying to feel something. "No, there isn't, Jesse. You've got Lexa now, both on the team, and in your heart obviously. I wouldn't be surprised if Shalimar and Brennan are together too. I'd be the odd man out. I don't have anything to contribute anymore..."she spit out the words as her eyes brimmed over.

Jesse reached his hand over. "Emma, don't say that. You're a psionic with unlimited and unimagined potential."

Emma slapped his hand away, "Jesse, no I don't." Her voice rose as she pointed at her head, "I don't have this anymore, no psiblast, no telempathy, nothing. Not even a peek." She sat on the side of the bed, opposite Jesse, wishing for him to go away. There it was said, out in the open. "If only Adam was here, he'd figure..."

Jesse sat in silence again, shocked by what he just heard. "We don't have all the equipment that was at Sanctuary. Let me run a few scans and we can figure it out together."

"No, Jesse. There is nothing you can do." She got up and opened the door. "Go, please. I'll be leaving tomorrow. Get me a new identity ready. I need to move on." Emma waited pointedly for Jesse to leave. "Please, Jesse. I'm tired and I want to sleep for awhile."

He reluctantly left, thinking hard of what to do for her.

Emma refused to leave her room, pretending to be asleep each time somebody knocked on the door, not wanting to face their pity.

Each dealt with Emma's presence in different ways. Shalimar alternately paced the hallway, listening at the door, and sitting in different positions on the couch. Brennan buried himself in a book of poetry and ignored her restless movements. Jesse read, re-read and triple read every file on Emma and other psionics. Lexa read for a while and then decided that since everybody was waiting for Emma to leave the room, she was going in to get a response out of Emma. She slipped into the room quietly and perched on the chair beside the bed. "Emma, I know you're not sleeping."

Emma regarded her quizzically. "So what do you want?"

"Nothing. I just though you might want someone to be here."

"Why? You've got Jesse. You've got my place on the team. I've got nothing." Emma sighed.

"Oh, come off it, Emma. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. They still love you. You're still a part of the team."

"What part? I have no powers left. They're gone. I've nothing left. Just memories and even those are faulty," Emma said bitterly. "Do you know what it is like to have a dream shattered? When I was unaware of who I was, pieces kept coming back to me, mostly impressions at first. Then all of a sudden, I know who I was and where I was from. I signed myself out of the hospital that next morning, to chase those memories down, to see if they were still true. Maybe it was a false dream, but it kept me going until I found what remained of Sanctuary, and the plaques with my name on one of them. I should have realized that my dream was gone then, but I was being bull-headed and selfish. I wanted my family back; Adam, Shalimar, Jesse, Brennan. Only my family isn't mine anymore. You're here now, not exactly in my place, but a part of it. No family, no powers. Nothing. I need to move on and make a new life for myself, away from here. Just give me a new identity and I'll be out of everybody's hair in the morning, " Emma ended cynically.

Lexa was surprised at the depth of feelings the younger woman exuded. She reached over and pulled Emma's chin up, so she could look her in her eyes. "Emma, that is far from the truth and you know it. You still have a place here. You still have a family here. I've fought them tooth and nail literally and figuratively to just be accepted by them. I didn't want this assignment at first. Those three grow on you after a while. Jesse even still has nightmares over you." She thought a second. "Your picture is even in their rooms. All I've heard from them is Emma this and Emma that. I can't possibly fit into your shoes here, and frankly I don't want to."

"Then what about you and Jesse?"

"That...well...it just happened. We didn't plan it. I didn't set out to have him take a piece of my heart. After Leo's death...," Lexa stopped as her eyes brimmed over with a few tears. "I have respect for the team, Emma. I've gained their respect finally. You still have their love, which I'll probably never get, other than what Jesse has shown me." She dropped her hand from Emma's chin. "From what I understand, you were giving so much and never took anything back. Why don't you let them help you, Emma? Figure out what's wrong with your head?" She tapped Emma's forehead for emphasis.

Emma pulled away. "No. I'm going to leave. I still shouldn't have ever come back."

"Emma, please, give it a few more days. You're in no condition to travel just yet. Let Jesse run those scans. Your old scans are on file there. Do it for him. No, wait do it for you. If it doesn't work, I'll personally see to getting you a new identify and setting you up wherever."

Lexa and Emma stared are each other, both torn by their decisions and feelings.

Finally, Emma slowly nodded. "Ok, we'll do it your way, Lexa."

"So, let's go do those scans, " Lexa stood up.

Emma shook her head. "I need to take a quick shower. I'll meet you there in a half hour."

Lexa came out of the room and let a triumphant grin cross her face. She gave a thumbs-up to Shalimar and Brennan as she walked into the lab. A short time later, she plopped onto the couch, Shalimar and Brennan eagerly waiting her explanation.

"Well?" Shalimar asked.

"Emma agreed to let Jesse run some scans, to figure out what is wrong with her psionics. Otherwise I'm to make her a new identity and she's out of here," Lexa said simply.

Shalimar's face fell and she said, "I wish Adam were here. He'd know what to do."

"Well, Adam isn't and Jesse is. We just have to trust Jesse now," Brennan interjected as he peered over his poetry book.

"Unless she asks, we should stay clear of the lab while she's in there. She's spooked enough as is," Lexa cautioned them.

Shalimar nodded and poked Brennan's foot. "Agreed. Brennan?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Shalimar headed into the kitchen area and warmed up some soup and fixed a tray with two bowls and drinks and left it beside Jesse with a meaningful look at him.

On time, Emma limped into the lab, slowly, reluctantly and fearfully, expecting somebody to accost her. She tentatively spoke into the silence, amid the whirl of the computers and fans, "Jesse?" Her voice shook a little.

He turned slowly and took in her appearance: damp hair from her recent shower, red rimmed eyes and nose from prolonged crying, and the scars, both shiny and flaky, from where the skin grafts had failed to hide the horrible burns from that night. Lexa had not told him everything about her talk with Emma, just that Emma was willing to have the scans run.

He was still unprepared for her appearance at close range under the harsh lights of the lab room; the bedroom had been darkened while he talked with her earlier. And definitely not prepared for a despondent and dejected looking Emma.

"Emma," was all he could manage while wrestling with his inner demons. Lexa had given him substance these past few months while he dealt with his guilt and grief over the young redhead who now stood in front of him. He loved both women in his way; which one did he love more? He didn't know. Which one did he want to stay with? Nobody, not even himself, knew that answer yet.

They stood like that for several minutes until Emma's stomach rumbled loudly. Jesse remembered the soup Shal had left for them and he pointed, saying, "Shal thought you might be hungry."

"So why two bowls?"

"I've developed Adams' bad habit of not eating and sleeping correctly for days on end, since you were last here. It's her way of making sure I eat too." He shrugged.

Emma laughed lightly, and then her face pinched in memory of her mentor, their father figure and friend. Jesse hopped up on a counter with his bowl of soup and pretended not to notice Emma's awkward gait, as she limped painfully across the room. After a few swallows, she remarked, "This is so much better than at the rehabilitation center, even if it is out of a can." She smiled briefly and then quickly composed her face. Once done, she cleared her throat expectantly. "Let's get this over with."

"Ok, Emma. Just sit there and get comfortable. Unfortunately the bio-chair was only at Sanctuary and..." he trailed off not wanting to finish that thought.

She tried to relax, but it was hard. Several of her muscles kept twitching periodically. Jesse slowly and precisely ran the hand-held scanner all over, picking up the details even his trained eye could not see.

He pulled her hair up and away from her neck, and swore lightly when Emma winced. There was an ugly surgical scar at the base of her neck. "Sorry," he muttered. Turning away, he downloaded everything from the scanner and pulled up her scan records on a different computer. He looked from one screen to another. The presence of one foreign object in her brain accounted for some of it. The second foreign object perplexed him, but seemed familiar somewhat.

"What is it, Jesse?" Emma had moved up beside him to look at the data.

He pointed at one set of pictures and started to explain. "During the explosion, you had several skull fractures, one here by the frontal lobe, and two back by the cerebellum. Apparently they inserted a shunt to drain the fluid off and keep the pressure down while your brain healed from it. However, that doesn't explain your loss of powers. And there is a second foreign object that was inserted through one of the shunts and is lodged in your limbic system, there." He pointed at another spot. "I think I can disable it, but without another trained pair of hands, like Adam's, I cannot remove it. Your scars I can minimize with a combination of lasers but it will take a while, because I can't treat your whole body at once and you'd have to recover in between treatments."

Jesse was deep in thought about the device inside Emma's head and he didn't hear her questions at first until she bumped his arm. "Jesse? What sort of device is it?"

"What? Oh, it seems to be a sophisticated governor, only meant to be internal, not external like the sub dermal ones. We removed a simpler one on Lexa a while back that the Dominion had inserted."

Emma was quiet. She wasn't quite sure whether to laugh or cry at Jesse's prognosis of her powers.

"Ok, treat my burns. I need to think about the other problem awhile." She finally said. She really wanted to look less like a monster than have her powers back right at the moment.

Jesse nodded and indicated for her to hop on to the exam table. "Now, you're going to want to rest after I'm done, while the skin heals. I'm going to start with your left shoulder and arm." He bustled around getting some creams and ointments, as well as setting up the laser pointer for the proper setting. Emma slipped her left arm out of her t-shirt and pulled the sheet up higher around her.

As he spread the cold cream over the burns and scars of her left arm, their eyes met briefly. Emma's were cold and calculating; Jesse's were concerned and cautious. Emma shivered from the exposure to the cool cream. Jesse looked away and used the laser pen on her scars, quickly and precisely. About ten minutes later, he was wiping the cold cream off and applying a second cream. "This had better work. It's supposed to be made from the scrapings inside snail shells." Emma giggled drowsily, "The poor snails!" Jesse was right; this was tiring.

Jesse carefully covered her with the sheet, and told her softly, "Rest now, Emma. It's going to swell for a while." He dimmed the lights and left her in there with the door slightly ajar. "Call if you need anything. We'll be right there to get it." Emma obediently closed her eyes and rested as her body protested and healed from the harsh assault of the laser. A few tears slipped unbidden from her eyes, but for the first time that day, they were happy tears. She soon slept, not quite peacefully, but at least a bit better emotionally.

Shalimar appointed herself the vigil keeper and paced the hallway from the kitchen to the living room; to the doorway where Emma lay recovering from the first burn treatment. She fervently hoped that Jesse had the correct combination for Emma's sake primarily and all of their sakes. The idea of an internal governor scared her immensely – much more so when Jesse admitted he couldn't remove it by himself. They sorely missed Adam, once again. Perhaps one of him survived the explosion. It happened once before, they were all thinking. It could happen again. Fate sure had funny ways of twisting their lives around.

Meanwhile, Lexa had buried herself into researching about the governor in Emma. They had her old one still. As Shalimar walked past her, yet again, she looked up in great disdain. "Shal, you're going to wear a trench in the floor with all your pacing. Emma will call if she needs something. Sit. You're making me nervous..."

In the midst of her speech, there was a buzz from one of the computers. Lexa spun around to check it out and her eyes widened as Adam's face filled the screen. "Adam?" she asked cautiously. Shalimar jumped over the couch to see what the matter was. She choked when she recognized Adam's face.

Adam regarded the two of them before speaking, "Lexa. Shalimar. Did Brennan and Jessed make it out too?" He asked hurriedly.

"Yes, we did, Adam," Brennan answered as he came over with Jesse close behind. "Are you Adam the Clone or the Creator?" Jesse asked.

Adam continued with a slight smile, ""I don't think of myself in either way. I'm the one who's been your friend for many years." He looked down at something below their screen vision. "I should only be picking up 4 people. There's a fifth one, who's there with you?"

Shalimar looked at the others before answering; their brief nods indicated they were agreed with her not to mention Emma just yet. "A young woman who was burned badly. Jesse's been treating her burns." Lexa rolled her eyes at the lie, but didn't say anything.

"Is she stable enough to travel? I need you to meet me at these coordinates in forty-eight hours, so we can decide our next steps." A file was downloaded while he talked.

"I don't know, Adam. She was badly burned with second and third degree burns," Jesse volunteered.

"Get her to a hospital with a good burn unit, and meet me here in two days, "Adam urged him.

Unbeknownst to the four gathered around the computer screen, Emma had tried calling for someone to help her go to the bathroom. When noone answered she slipped out of lab and was making her way to the bathroom to relieve herself.

Hearing voices, she stopped briefly in the doorframe to rest a minute before continuing on. Her ears and eyes took in the scene of them talking to someone on the computer. Someone who she had believed was dead. Excitement overruled common sense and Emma took off running, albeit with a pronounced limp. By the time she reached the small group, she was crying some, "Adam? It that really you?"

The others stood around nervously and disgusted by Emma's sudden appearance. Shalimar just ended up shrugging as Adam uttered, "My god, Emma. What happened?"