Disclaimer: Need I go through this again? Alright, I don't own any of the characters, places, or songs. The song is "Carol of the Bells" by I don't know who.
Warnings: Oh, only a lot of AU. And I don't think there are any "naughty" words in this one. Some readers may be pumped so full of sap, that they need to blow there nose with pancakes though.
She ran to the Gryffindor common room. She needed to get cleaned up a little. She was really starting to feel better. She was doing something to help. She was in such a hurry that she bumped into a redheaded someone.
"Oh no!" She thought. If it were Ron, she'd have to explain why she wasn't in the common room. She looked at the person she had knocked to the ground. It was Ginny.
"Oh Ginny! I am sorry! Here let me help you up."
"That's ok Hermione. Why are you in such a hurry any way?" She said brushing herself off and straightening her clothes.
"Oh Ginny, I need to tell you something."
The younger girl was just as excited as Lavender and Parvati when there was a juicy little secret that someone was going to spill. But she was actually trustworthy.
"What is it?" She squeaked. "Don't keep me in suspense woman!" She smiled.
"Not here, in the common room. I'm meeting someone in a few minutes and I really need to dash."
They quickly hurried to the common room and headed up to the girl's dorms. Once there, Hermione quickly started to explain to Ginny, as best she could in a few minutes, her feelings and thoughts that led her to actually trying to help Malfoy while trying to peel of her frozen wet clothes.
"Oh Hermione. Why didn't you tell anyone until now? We would have gotten you through this, you know that."
"I know. I feel terrible about keeping all of this in, but I didn't want you to worry about me. It was my problem to take care of, you know? Please don't tell Harry or Ron. They'd blow up. That reminds me. I told them that I would go caroling with them tonight, and I don't think I'll be able to."
"Hermione, I won't lie for you."
"You won't have to. Tell them I felt better and I went to Hogsmeade tonight for some fresh air. Please Ginny?"
"Fine, on one condition. You eventually tell them what's going on. They deserve to know what's going on with their best friend." Ginny learned how to rebuke from her mother.
"Ginny, you have no idea how much that means to me. I will eventually tell them but they wouldn't understand because it's Malfoy. At least not yet anyway."
"I guess I understand but…you still should have told someone. I mean helping him?" She said a little questioningly.
Hermione pulled a long sleeved shirt over her head and looked at Ginny.
"You don't think I should help him?" She said sadly.
Ginny thought for a minute before she answered. She knew her friend had been a little off lately. Now she knew why. She just had a feeling that Hermione wasn't telling the whole entire reason as to why she wanted to help him. She thought she knew but if Hermione wanted that kept to herself that was no one else's business but Hermione's. Other than that, she didn't think she was doing anything wrong. In fact, she admired Hermione for her bravery to try and be civil towards someone who hated her.
"Malfoy, if you break her heart, I won't stop Harry and Ron from pummeling short of killing you." She thought. She finally answered.
"Hermione, you are the bravest woman I know, next to my mum of course. I trust your judgment more than most people. If you believe that Malfoy has a chance a being a decent human being, then it would be cruel of you to not do anything about it. Of course you should help him. Just don't lose yourself, ok?"
Hermione ran over to her friend and thanked with a bear hug.
The frozen air hung with the sweet sounds of caroling as a pair of two teenagers walked the streets of Hogsmeade bundled in thick, wooly black robes. He had a scarf of thin black, green, and silver bands. She had a scarf of thick burgundy and gold bands. The snow fell beautifully, delicately, yet bitterly around them. Hermione cleared her throat.
"So, where into town did you want to go?" She asked.
She was trying desperately to strike up conversation, but nothing was coming to her. Usually she always had something to say, but nothing came to her. When they had met up, Malfoy and merely nodded his head in acknowledgement of her presence, and opened the door…for her. He opened the door for her like a – like a – gentleman. Needed less to say she was taken by surprise. After that, they hadn't said a word to one another on the way to the village. It was very awkward. She felt very silly.
Malfoy on the other hand, while very dulled by the lack of conversation, was enjoying her being a little uncomfortable. She was so dead set on doing this and here she was keeping quiet. She was actually struggling to think of something to discuss. He was laughing to himself.
He decided to end her misery for the moment and answer.
"I don't know. The pub sounds nice. I could go for a pint of fire whiskey to get warmed up." He saw the scandalized look her face at the mention of an actual drink. But she said nothing. Oh, he was having fun.
"I didn't know you drank that stuff." She said after a minute. She mentally agreed that the Three Broomsticks sounded nice, and changed her direction. He followed.
"I do a lot of things you don't know about Granger."
"Oh really?" She said not one bit impressed. He was trying to make himself out as a "bad boy." She didn't buy it.
"Yes, would you like to here a few stories?"
"No thanks."
"Oh, but they are really interesting because quite a few involve me getting pissed out of my mind and going at it with…"
"Ugh! Say no more! You're disgusting, you know that?"
He chuckled. This was so entertaining.
"Do you really enjoy making me uncomfortable?" She asked exasperatedly.
"Of course I do. You are quite charming when you're angry." He teased.
She huffed. He was really trying to get under skin right now. She needed to change the topic and soon. He was taking too much control over the situation.
They entered the Three Broomsticks. It was pretty quite as most people were at home with their families today. He quickly walked up to the bar and ordered a fire whisky. She ordered a cup of hot chocolate.
"Not one for alcohol Granger?" He asked.
"No, I am not Malfoy. Over the summer I had a couple glasses of beer and I felt sick afterwards. In my view, I'm not missing anything important."
They drank in piercing silence. Hermione was trying to think of something to talk about, while Draco stared out of the window, and tapping his fingers to a beat. She wondered what song he had stuck in his head. Then the idea came to her.
"Let's take turns asking one thing about each other." She said.
He stopped his drumming and looked at her like it was a stupid idea. However, he had nothing better.
"I ask you first." He stated.
"Why you? It was my idea."
"Yes, this whole barmy idea was yours. And you said that I got to choose what we did. I choose to go first." He snapped.
"Fine. Good grief."
"Which one of your dogs do you fancy? The raging volcano or the witless wonder?"
She huffed at the name-calling.
"Don't call them that!" She snapped. "I don't have those kinds of feelings for them! They are my friends."
"You call my friends lemmings, so I can call your friends what I want."
"I was joking when I said that. You weren't."
"Can you read my mind? How do you know I was being serious or if I was joking?" He asked.
"Just don't call them that."
"You didn't answer the question." He pursued.
"Neither." She grounded out. "My turn. What authors do you like?"
He took a minute get his thoughts together.
"I like Edgar Allen Poe and Tennyson mostly. For actual books, I like Milton's Paradise Lost."
"Not exactly light hearted material." She said.
"Well, why should it be? Not everything has a happy ending. My turn."
"Ask away."
"What animal would you want to be?"
She thought for a second.
"I'd like to either be a cat or a bird." She said.
"Now that's interesting."
"What is?" She asked with curiosity.
"You don't seem like a cat person." He said.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that cats are loners, not like you Gryffindors. Plus, cats eat birds."
"True, but not all cats are loners. Look at lions."
"You would say that being from Gryffindor." He smirked and rolled his eyes.
"Alright, what would you be?" She asked. Apparently he didn't that answer was the one she should have picked.
His smirk never faltered.
"I'd be a cat."
They paid for their drinks and made to leave the pub. Once outside, they continued their little game.
"What kind of music do you listen to?" He asked.
"I…" She was about to answer when the bell on the old church rang. People were coming out of the building.
He stopped for a moment and gave the scene before some scrutiny.
"I change my question Granger. What do you think of that?"
"Of what?" She asked.
"That, church, God, the whole idea of it."
"Well, I believe there is a God. But I haven't been to church in...I don't know how long. Don't you believe in God?"
"No. And some might say they don't believe in Heaven. I think I happen to agree with them." He said.
"Cynic. He really is depressed isn't he?" She thought. She stiffened her resolve.
"Go and tell that to the man who lives in Hell." She said quietly. He heard her.
He blinked at what she had said. He knew those words would stay with him.
She looked up at the towering young man in front of her.
"Do you want to know why I cared to help you?" She asked.
"Yes." He said simply.
"Today, I saw the professors raising their glasses to toast the end of the year and the start of a new one. It hit me that this was our last year at Hogwarts and it seemed so final to me. I realized that I had only one regret; and that was not trying to understand why we hated each other. I just wanted to keep you company today so that you wouldn't be without someone to talk to on Christmas. No regrets."
She sounded like she…cared, and that she was…worried about him. This scared him. It felt nice to have someone to talk to. He thought back on all of the years he had to spend by himself on Christmas.
"Stop it." She said quietly. Tears threatening to reach the surface of her eyes and spill over on to her cheeks.
"Stop what? I don't know what you're talking about." He said harshly. He didn't think someone would tell him that it hurt to see him sad.
"That look. That's the look you had a lunch. Please stop it."
They only stared at each other. They had stopped walking a long time ago. Both were strangely worried about the other.
"I don't like seeing you like this either." He said softly.
He felt sick that he made someone who had everything he wanted, worried enough to tell him to stop being sad. He had seen her like this before. He didn't really admit it to himself until now, but he hated it just as much as she hated seeing him sad.
"Don't go feeling sorry for me. I don't need your pity. We both don't need it." He said more sharply.
The suddenness of his change made Hermionea little upset. However, when she saw the look in his eyes, the look like he wanted to say something other than what he did, she knew he wasn't really annoyed with her.
"Been watching me have you?" She said with a small smile.
He returned it.
"As though I would." He said.
"Get lost!" She said smiling as she gently shoved him out of the way. He was being annoying again. "Good grief, Malfoy I didn't think you were this curious! The store is huge, so go get lost."
They had settled on the bookshop as the next place to get warmed up.
"Fine. I'll leave you alone to browse." He said defeated. He had a feeling she was up to something. Like trying to find something to buy for him. He didn't really feel comfortable about the idea. That would mean getting her a gift too. She was putting up with a lot today. His problem was he didn't know what to get her.
He left her alone. He needed to think through things a little bit. He had a feeling she cared for him. That made him feel things he hadn't thought he was capable of feeling. He didn't want to let her in. His mood was souring quickly. She was driving him nuts. He had been at the brink of crying twice today! That was not normal.
He had always thought her intelligent. He knew she was the only person that could match him in that area in the school. He, to some extent, appreciated that about her. He found their arguments a turn on, just as she had. Even though he hadn't really thought her that physically attractive, her mind and some times biting tongue, made her more appealing.
He didn't mind being attracted to her, as long as it was only that. What really bothered him was when they started actually talking and letting each other in. That was when it got scary for him. It was easiest just to hate each other and move on. And now he had to find her a gift.
As he walked around the store, he looked out the window and saw a little shop. A brilliant idea came to him. He just needed to sneak out with out her seeing him...
In the back of the store, Hermione was having a very tough time trying to find a gift for Draco. She looked through the books, but nothing really jumped out at her as anything really meaningful. She thought about the authors he mentioned, but decided that he probably already had them. She sighed and tried to concentrate a little harder.
"What could a guy who has everything want or need?" She thought.
She thought back to their earlier conversation about believing in God. She remembered how cynical he was. She brightened as she remember a book that helped her through a lot of painful times at home and even between her and her friends.
"Aha!" She said when she found it.
She thought a note might be nice to add into it, so she found some stationary. She paid for the book and stationary. She sat down to write her message...
When she finished, she put it in the front of the book. She heard the little bell on the door signaling someone had entered or left the shop. A quiet humming reached her ears. She got up and walked towards the door. She saw a group of carolers warming up to sing. She stepped out side to listen. Sweet, sharp voices filled the cold late afternoon day.
"Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, "Throw cares away"
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold
Ding-dong, ding-dong, that is their song
With joyful ring, all caroling
One seems to hear, words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air."
There was something moving about the song. She didn't know if it was the way the song was being sung, or if was the words that touched her. She was frozen where she stood.
"Oh, how they pound, raising the sounds
O'er hill and dale, filling the air
Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas"
She was hypnotized by the words of the song. She couldn't exactly say the feeling that she was getting, but she thought it was loneliness.
"Why am I lonely?" She thought.
She knew she wanted someone to be with, but was she really lonely enough to wish for it? She sighed.
When she shook off her momentary lapse in conscience ness, she headed back inside.
"On and on they sing, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home."
He saw her standing in the snow listening to the people singing. She was gorgeous. The way the wind sent the falling snow dancing around her...how sad and beautiful she looked. Her head was bowed slightly but he could still see her cheeks were rosy from the cold. Why was she sad? Did she think her little "plan" wasn't working? He wasn't sure. He was too upset that he had called her gorgeous and that he was buying her a gift! He was getting sick of how thoughtful he was being towards her. He watched her heave a deep sigh and shake off her daydream. She walked back into the bookstore. Her long squirrelly hair covered in snowflakes. He shook his head as the cashier called him over.
A/N: Good grief! That took awhile. I meant to have this broken up into two different chapters, but I remembered that I put the last part in as a preview for it, so I needed to extend it a bit. So you guys are treated to an extra special chapter! Lucky you. You don't get something for nothing though, so no preview for Ch. 4. Sorry, it's that I haven't actually got all my notes for the next chapter together so I apologize. If you can spot the line from an Oasis song in here, you are awesome. There should be a prize or something for the people that catch that kind of stuff. For those that don't know, in the UK the term "pissed" means "drunk." A hint as to where the title comes from, Draco mentions the author of the poem that has the same title. It really doesn't have much to do with the story, I just like the poem. What do you guys think so far? I've gotten a couple of reviews (thanks so much!) and a lot of reads (thanks again!). Don't be shy; anything you have to say is welcomed. I'd really like some feedback as to how Draco and Hermione should end up. Like I said, I have an ending in mind, but I don't think you guys would like it because it just doesn't feel like the right one, you know? So please let me know.