(Yes! It's here! The third story in the Angry Mob trilogy! Now with actual humor, much better than the store brand! Also with a new and improved dose of exclamation points! So sit back and relax, put your feet up. That is unless you're reading this while you're driving. If that's the case, then for PETE'S SAKE, QUIT READING THIS AND DRIVE!!!!

Akiro- You're so eccentric.

Me- I AM NOT ECCENTRIC! Wha- Hey! What are you doing here?

Akiro-I came to make sure you'd open the story right without wasting everyone's time.

Me- All right, all right! Here we go!

Akiro- That's better…

Once again, it was a sunny day in Sunrise Springs. The birds were listening to their CD players, the sheep were playing video games, and all was right with the world. Then, Spyro came out of a portal and started running towards the big cave. He stopped right before he hit the wall, punched in a number on the button panel, and ran inside.

Meanwhile, in the Angry Mob's secret hideout….

Elora finished dusting a bookcase. "Finally! We're done cleaning!" she said, satisfied. The whole hideout was spotless, and their newly acquired pet llama was dozing on the couch. (Yes, they've got a llama now. His name is Leroy! Do I need a reason to add Leroy the Llama to the cast?) "Now we are officially back in business." Hunter came down from the attic, where he had just finished putting some boxes away. "Man, now that Clem's finally defeated, we've really gotten this place looking nice."

"And it just took seventy-three hours of non-stop scrubbing, too!" marveled Bianca. "All we have to do now is take that really big wheelbarrow that we put all the dust and dirt in and dump it outside."

Suddenly, Spyro ran through the door, slipped on a wet spot, and went flying through the air, landing right smack-dab in the middle of the couch. (Hah! Bet you thought something was gonna happen to the wheelbarrow, didn't ya?!) "Guys!" he yelled. "We have trouble."

The entire Angry Mob suddenly crammed into the room, pitchforks ready, torches lit, and the tar was simmering gently with a pinch of…

"We've got a major problem on our hands! Look at THIS!!" Spyro announced as he pulled out a jar of pickles. "I can't get the lid off this jar!"

Everyone gasped! Hunter grabbed the jar and tried to remove the lid. "You're right! It's stuck!" he exclaimed. "Who can we find who is muscular enough to remove the lid?"

"I am!" came a voice. Everyone turned to see who it was. It was Bentley! "I shall now take the infernal jar of pickles and separate it from its stubborn lid!" he said, taking the jar. He grabbed the lid with both hands, and with all his strength he twisted it!

"EEEERRRGGHHHH!!!"

The lid stayed where it was. "Um, heh heh, Let me attempt that again." Bentley tried again. "OOOF!" he gasped. He continued trying to twist the lid off. Elora moved closer to Spyro. "So how much glue did you put on the lid?" she whispered.

"Several jars."

"Ooo! Good one!"

(Three hours later)

Bentley had collapsed on the floor, the jar of pickles falling from his hand. Everyone was standing by with medical equipment, just in case he should pull a muscle. Bentley sat up again and everyone stood back. He pulled out his club and whacked the jar with it. It shattered all over the floor. "Who wants pickles?" he asked.

"Bentley!" shouted Bianca. "We just finished cleaning that floor!"

"Sorry. I'll go get a mop." said Bentley. He ran for the mop, knocking over the wheelbarrow. All the dust fell into the air vents and was immediately scattered all around their secret hideout.

"Oh great!" shouted Bianca. "Now we've got to go to the store and get some more cleaning supplies and clean all of this up!"

Everyone quickly put on a hat.

"Um, what was the point of that?" asked Elora. Sheila shrugged. "We're just trying to put some action into the story."

"Well forget the hats, quick! To Home Depot!" shouted Hunter.

They quickly ran out the door, jumped on their motorcycles, did a donut, and pulled into the parking lot of Home Depot which was conveniently located next door. They parked, hit the remote control lock button, and went inside.

"Hello?" asked Spyro.

"Hello…hello….hello…hello….." came the echo. The entire building was deserted. A tumbleweed rolled past. "Where is everybody?" asked Elora.

"Eh, forget it. Let's just go to Wal-Mart." said Hunter. So they left the building and found all their motorcycles tipped over. "Hey!" exclaimed Spyro. "Who did this?"

"I did!" someone shouted. It was some guy they didn't know! "Ha! This is the first step I shall take to alert the Angry Mob of my presence here!"

The Angry Mob gasped. "You'll never get away with it!" shouted Hunter. "We'll stop you!"

"You and what army?"

The Angry Mob removed their hats. "This army!" Hunter yelled. It was the guy's turn to gasp. "The Angry Mob! Wow, I didn't recognize you under all the hats! Well, cower under the awesome power of…um." He quickly ran to some nearby bushes. "What do I do now?" he asked. A big muscular guy wearing a sweatshirt that said "Coach" emerged from the bushes. "Tell them who you are and what your evil plan is!" he shouted.

"Oh yeah!" the guy they didn't know ran back over to the bikes. "Ahem! I am your worst nightmare! I am the person whose very name will leave you trembling! I am the greatest evil this world has ever known! I am Melvin!"

The Angry Mob burst out laughing. Melvin pouted. "Stop that! You're not doing it right!" Now the Angry Mob was rolling on the ground, sides splitting. "Hey Melvin!" Spyro managed to gasp through his hysterical laughter. "Whose the other guy?"

"This is my coach. I'm a new villain and I need a little support."

More laughter….

"A villain who needs a coach? That has got to be the silliest thing I've ever heard of!" exclaimed Elora.

"No it's not!" shouted Melvin in a rage.

(Three hours later)

The Angry Mob's giggles had finally subsided and they were all sitting on the ground, catching their breath. The coach nudged Melvin. "Tell them you evil plan." He muttered. Melvin nodded and began.

"Listen up, Angry Mob! I have come to announce that I am going to take over the world!"

"So what else is new?" asked Bianca. Melvin was getting frustrated. "You're supposed to cower in fear!" he yelled.

The Angry Mob got back on their motorcycles. "Yeah, yeah." said Spyro. "Come back when you get a real life." They drove off into the sunset, which was odd because it wasn't even noon yet. As it turns out, it was a fake sunset, painted on a brick wall. "Dang." Said Hunter.

Meanwhile, Melvin pouted. "I'll show them I can be a real villain! They'll be sorry! I'll make sure of it!"

"Good job!" said his coach. "That was a perfect vow of revenge!"

And….cut! There you have it! The first chapter of Angry Mob 3! This one took me forever to write because I've been depressed lately. But then today we went to see A Series of Unfortunate Events and now I feel strangely cheerful. Huh, go figure. Well, I'm sorry to say this story won't be on any regular schedule, so just keep you eyes open for updates.