Hi All,

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. I was very happy to read that no one (so far) has been upset this story is not done yet.

Special Thanks to the Usual Suspects: Eli, Kreek and Wuemsel, this story would never have made it this far without your help and support!

Always, thanks go out to Kelli, my poor, tired beta…

HIG – Here's another dose of 'Hurt Hutch' for ya!

Chapter 21

Hutch woke up slowly; the recent past was a blurry memory of running from the fire with Starsky. Of a bone jarring ride on a little burro named Paco. The whole thing, from the plane crash, to their desperate run from the fire felt like a dream, or rather a nightmare. He blinked his eyes, trying to wake up. It felt as if he had not slept at all. That was when he noticed he was face down in warm mud.

'Where the hell am I?' he thought as he carefully pushed himself onto his side, than sat up; the sudden change in position nearly toppled him again. The world spun in dizzy circles around him. He could tell that he had a fever. His right arm throbbed with pain and his head joined in, memory returned sluggishly. He had been on the donkey… now he was in the mud… 'How did I get here?' At first his brain slowly put the pieces together, than faster and faster memories tumbled into place, like dominos cascading into one another, until the last one fell. Any thoughts about how sick he felt were ruthlessly shoved aside.

"Starsky!" Hutch hollered, or tried to, his dry tongue was thick in his mouth, the sound that issued forth was a raspy whisper. The momentary panic and concern for his partner gave him an adrenalin rush that squelched the pain. He groped around and found his partner face down in the mud beside him. "Starsk?" His sensitive fingers combed through the muddy, tangled curls, a combination of habit, comfort and searching for any possible injury that may have rendered his partner unconscious.

Hutch than placed his left hand on his friend's upper back and could feel the steady rise and fall as Starsky's lungs filled and emptied. He nodded to himself, acknowledging that what Starsky needed right now was rest. He wished he had a blanket to put over his partner. Then he remembered the fire shelter. It was better than nothing, so Hutch patted Starsky's pockets until he found it. He opened it and carefully coved his friend. It wasn't much, but it was all he had. Satisfied that he had done what he could to make Starsky comfortable, the blond gave into the urge to lie back down and soon fell asleep.

XXXX

Starsky awoke to something warm and fuzzy tickling his ear. He batted at the annoyance. The warm fuzzy returned again. He weakly swatted at it and this time connected with something. There was a startled grunt. He opened his eyes and yelped at the sight of a large gray fuzzy thing with huge eyes staring at him. Something silver and light was covering him. 'Aliens!' He gyrated wildly to get the thing off of him. He elbowed something solid and warm beside him and froze.

He held his breath and tried to calm down. He looked about and reality sank in. It wasn't an alien, the gray thing was Paco and the silver thing covering him was the fire shelter. He shook his head, he had forgotten he'd had that thing in his pocket; he could have saved himself a lot of splashing if he woulda just thrown that over the burro's and their own heads. How did it get out of his pocket?

'Hutch!' He glanced worriedly about and spotted a halo of blond hair on the ground next to him. Starsky sat up and rubbed his eyes, smearing mud across his face in the process. "Yuck!" He than noticed he was covered in mud and wrinkled a lip in disgust, but that wasn't going to change anything, so he returned his attention to his partner.

He leaned over to get a better look and in the dying light of the day, he could see that Hutch's eyes looked a little sunken; the cause was most likely dehydration. He brushed back the fallen, dirty bangs and could feel the heat of fever. "Awww dammit buddy…" the words were a groan of frustration. It would have been too much to hope that Hutch could have somehow miraculously healed while he was asleep.

Starsky looked down at the shelter-turned-blanket that was now bunched at his waist. "Thanks partner" He ruffled the locks again and proceeded to check Hutch over. There wasn't much he could do for the ill man. No bandages, no food. There was plenty of water though. He put the shelter over the blond, smoothed it into place around his shoulders and took stock of their surroundings.

In the twilight, there was little to see but ashes, blackened stumps and tree trunks that were sticking out of the ground like a buried giant's dead fingers. 'Well there's a pleasant thought' the brunet shivered. He forced himself to his feet, his muscles protesting every move and he looked around. He had to get Hutch out of here. As much as he hated to do it, he would have to wake his friend up and get him back on the donkey. He ran his fingers through his tangled, muddy curls. He headed back to his partner.

Paco stood over the blond like a furry guardian angel. Starsky smiled at the sight "Thanks for stickin' around little buddy. I hate to ask this of ya, but you're gonna have to help me pack him outta here… 'kay?" He reached out and scratched around the large ears and watched as the large eyes went half closed in pleasure. That's when he noticed that the tops of those ears were now curled and wrinkled from the heat of the fire. "You poor guy" he scratched the burro some more, noticing as he did so that most of the animal's coat was singed; clumps of fur were melted together from the heat of the fire. He shook his head sorrowfully. There was nothing he could do for Paco either.

Starsky knelt down and gently shook Hutch's shoulder "C'mon partner… we gotta go, c'mon, wake up…" He carefully removed and folded the silver shelter up, sticking it in his pocket again. He hoped that Wag was still alive; he wanted to return it and thank the man for the use of it. It had saved their lives.

Hutch moaned and Starsky leaned in closer, to encourage him. "That's it, ya big lug… rise an' shine" the blond's eyelashes fluttered open.

"S'dark" The blond lashes lowered again.

Starsky let out a slow sigh, closing his own eyes for a moment, 'would Hutch ever see again?' He reopened his eyes and smiled "Well, it tends to get that way at night." The sun was completely gone from the sky now and a full moon was on the rise. Good, they would have some light to travel by "C'mon, no more laying down on the job." He took a firm hold of the front of Hutch's shirt and carefully pulled him into an upright position. Hutch wobbled precariously, but stayed upright.

The blond lifted his head a little and licked his cracked lips "Thirsty" he whispered.

"Right, don't go no where" Starsky went to the stream, cupped one hand and brought the water to Hutch's lips. "Here ya go" he steadied his friend with his free hand.

The blond drank greedily "S'good… more?"

Starsky brought him two handfuls more before he stopped.

"More?" A blond brow rose up hopefully.

"Sorry partner. I can't let ya have too much at once… you'll just vomit it up. You can have more in a little bit." He put his hand to Hutch's forehead. It was hot. 'Terrific' He tugged at his damp shirt collar. His clothes and Hutch's were still damp from being in the water, but there was no help for that either. But thankfully it wasn't too cold out, but with a clear sky, that could change quickly. The list of things he couldn't do just kept growing. But there was one thing he could do, and that was to get Hutch outta here, with a little help from Paco.

It was only after he had gotten Hutch onto Paco's back did he notice just how quiet it was. After all that time of listening to the roar of the flames, wind and destruction… the quiet was eerie. He knew that the fire still burned, he could see the distant glow in the sky and the moon was nearly blood red due to all the smoke in the atmosphere.

Starsky gritted his teeth against the dull ache that was his whole body and took up his position on the left side of Paco for their trek out of the devastated forest. He went to his place beside Hutch and maintained a steadying hand on his friend's leg. He would keep near the stream and prayed he would find his way back to a house or a town so he could get Hutch to a doctor.

XXXX

There was just enough light from the bloody moon above and smoldering lumber to keep walking. His exhausted body complained the whole time. Starsky had taken to stopping every so often to let poor little Paco and Hutch rest. He knew he would never be able to pack Hutch out of here and back to civilization without help of the little burro.

Hutch still had a fever, but the frequent stops for rest and water helped him, and he was feeling a little better. Or it could just be that Hutch was hiding how bad he felt. It would be just like him to do so. They didn't talk much as they traveled. Both were far too tired to expend energy speaking. Starsky stayed near the stream in hopes that it would eventually lead them out of the decimated wilderness, plus all three needed the water it would provide.

Starsky kept a close eye on Hutch, stopping when he felt that the blond needed to, and right now it looked like he needed to. No words were spoken as he helped his friend off of Paco. He looked for a place to set the blond down and checked a burned stump for heat. It was cool, so he helped Hutch sit down and sat next to him. The he eased the lanky blond's upper half into his lap, while he used the stump as a backrest. It was a process they had repeated several times already that night.

Usually Hutch quickly drifted off into a fitful sleep. But this time the blond remained awake, or at least his eyes stayed open, blinking occasionally. Starsky ran his hand over the blond's head, not really thinking of anything but the need to press on and get Hutch to the help he needed.

A long fingered hand reached up and Hutch's left index finger touched his nose. Starsky broke off the soothing hair strokes and looked down at his friend. The bloody moon gave the light blue eyes a strange shine in the dark. "What is it, babe?"

"Peek-a-boo, I see you" a weak smile broke over Hutch's lips.

Starsky immediately put his hand on the blond's forehead, there was heat there, but the fever didn't seem any worse. "How're ya feelin'? Huh?" Concern colored his voice.

"I said, peek-a-boo, I see you" the smile broadened.

"Yeah, I heard you, both times… you feelin' alright?" God help them if Hutch was taking a turn for the worse. He placed his hand on the warm brow once more. Hutch had to be getting delirious, if he was talking like that. He looked down at his recumbent friend once more.

The finger touched his nose again. "Beep"

'Oh God… oh my God! He is delirious! What am I gonna do?' His mind raced franticly over his options… he didn't have any. What could he do if he couldn't get Hutch to ride Paco? How could he get help? Hutch had been too long without proper medical care already, could he chance leaving him and striking out on his own and hope that he could find his way out and return with help in time? Not very likely…

"Starsky, look at me" Hutch's tone turned serious.

Starsky looked.

Hutch smiled up at him "I said 'I see you.'"

Starsky ran a fretful hand over the blond's hair, trying to sooth his delirious friend, as well as himself as his mind raced. "Yeah, yeah, I heard ya buddy… listen, I'm gonna get you outta here, okay? I just-"

Hutch put his finger over the babbling brunet's lips. "I can see you, dummy."

That brought him up short "What?"

"Great, I get my sight back just in time for you to go deaf. That's just perfect." The blond smirked up at him.

"Y-you mean you can see me?"

"Unfortunately, yes. You're a mess-" any other words Hutch said were drowned out by a wild whoop of joy from Starsky.

XXXX

After Starsky had calmed down, Hutch had explained that his vision had slowly started to come back hours ago and he had wanted to be sure it was really returning before saying anything. His vision wasn't one hundred percent yet, everything was still quite blurry, but he held hope that it would continue to improve as time went on.

After resting a while longer, Starsky once again boosted Hutch onto Paco's back and they started off once more. They walked, or rather, Paco and Starsky walked, Hutch rode. The little group trudged along in silence for a while, when Hutch decided it was now or never, he had to find out why Starsky was having those flashbacks. He had to know.

"Remember your promise? It's time Starsk."

The brunet's dirty curls bobbed up and down. He knew exactly what Hutch was talking about. He reluctantly agreed, "Yeah… guess I should start at the very beginning."

"It's a very fine place to start." A blond eyebrow arched up wards as he sang part of the first verse of a song from 'The Sound of Music'.

"If you're gonna break out into a musical, I'm outta here" Starsky hooked a thumb over his shoulder for emphasis.

"Hey, you're the one who started it" Seeing that his partner was getting irritated, Hutch asked "Why is it you that never told me about your experiences in Nam?"

The curly head dropped "I didn't remember... I guess I didn't wanna remember. I wanted to forget… I did my damndest to forget. Then, at some point, I did…. I managed to block a lot of it out. Until I saw you at the Academy, I had totally forgotten Jake by then, blocked him out of my memory. But when I saw you, you looked like someone I could trust…" He raised his head a little and made eye contact for just a second before he looked away again. "You looked… familiar."

"Yeah, I remember that," Hutch nodded encouragingly "the look on your face when I turned around and looked at you..."

Dark blue eyes glittered in the moonlight; the dark head bob again "Guess that's why I had to talk to you that first day at the Police Academy. For just a moment, I thought you were someone I knew, 'til ya turned around."

"Yeah"

"I realized I didn't know you, but knew that I wanted to." Starsky gave his friend a small smile.

The blond nodded and patiently waited, knowing that Starsky would continue when he was ready. They walked along for some time in complete silence.

"Jake was just an FNG when we met…" He proceeded to tell Hutch about the sniper that had been picking them off. About how Jake showed him how to track, and how he had shown Jake a thing or two about shooting.

"So, that's how you found me… by tracking me to that little cave that I was in. I know I was kinda out of it, but I know I walked in the stream to hide my tracks from Colby. How did you know which way to go?"

Starsky gave him a sheepish grin, "I guessed." Seeing the look on Hutch's face he defended himself "I had a fifty-fifty chance."

"Yeah, and I had no chance with that damn two headed trick coin of yours."

Starsky's face fell and he looked away for a long moment.

"Starsk, 'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up." Hutch reached down from Paco's back and cupped Starsky's jaw "It's okay; really… just forget I mentioned that coin… 'kay?"

"It's not okay Hutch. It's my fault… I shoulda never played that trick on ya." Dark blue eyes connected with light blue "Jake gave me that coin. He told me it was because we were two halves of the same coin..." the brunet trailed off, lost in thought.

"Starsk, you don't have to talk about it. I understand."

"No, I want to talk about it… need to… I want you to understand, plus I promised I'd tell ya."

Starsky closed his eyes and thought back to that day… Jake's last day, the day that had prompted him to block out his memories of his friend. He began "It started in the sky… we were gettin' air lifted in Hueys after our mission. We were returning to base when we came under heavy ground fire. Ya know, before that day, I kinda liked flying… it's true!" He smiled at the stunned look Hutch gave him. "Anyway, the VC started shootin' at us and we started shootin' back. Well, the door gunners did anyway, the rest of us just hung on for dear life."

Starsky kicked the ground with the toe of one boot than he continued, "We got the shit shot outta us…" He once more felt the lurching and could hear the coughing of the Huey's engine as it hit and missed its way to the ground, the pilot fighting it all the way down. He clung tightly to his seat with one hand and tightened his safety harness with his other hand. He exchanged frightened looks with Jake.

"Starsk?"

Outside, he heard a loud 'bang' and watched helplessly as the tail rotor was shot off of one of the choppers and it spun wildly out of control and slammed into the ground as if a mighty fly swatter had batted it from the sky. Plumes of flames and smoke exploded from the wreck, leaving no hope for anyone in that machine. A bullet drilled its way through the floor between his feet; a corresponding one was opened up in the ceiling above him. He and Jake exchanged frightened looks.

"Starsky?"

The brunet detective shook himself out of the memory and met his friend's eyes. "Lotta good guys died that day…" He looked away again; it was somehow easier to talk if he didn't look at Hutch. "A total of about ten of us made it out of the different wrecked choppers… some were wounded, hell, I think all of us had some injury or other. I fucked up my ankles… didn't even feel it until much later when I tried to get outta that hospital bed they put me in. My feet hit the floor and I fell flat on my face. My ankles looked like they had each swallowed a softball."

A blond eyebrow inched upwards.

"Don't give me that look, I know ankles can't really do that… but that's what it looked like. The doc said something about me landin' on 'em funny, though I really don't remember much about the crash itself. The doc told me that I would likely have trouble with them for the rest of my life, that they would be prone to injury."

Starsky sighed "Anyway, I grabbed Jake outta the wreck and those of us that could, bolted for cover, I think just about everyone was pullin' someone along with 'em. I don't how far we got from the downed choppers. Then we hid an' waited for reinforcements. The VC made repeated sweeps through the area. Jake… Jake got worse an' worse as the day went on. He got delirious… started rambling, makin' noise. I could get him to hush, at first… but he got worse. It got tougher to keep him quiet."

Starsky closed his eyes at the memory "He got to the point where I couldn't get him to keep quiet. I could feel the other guys lookin' at us, beggin' me ta keep him silenced or we might all get caught, or killed outright." He opened his eyes and turned them skyward "I didn't have a choice Hutch… the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few."

"What'd you do? You didn't-"

Starsky cut him off "I did what I had to do. I didn't set out to smother him, at least not consciously, but that's what happened. The last thing he asked me ta do was hold him… the last thing I did was k-kill him. The needs of the many…" He broke off his explanation and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I killed my best friend to save what was left of the platoon. Of the ten that hid in the jungle, only nine of us made it back alive. I killed my friend and they wanted ta give me a medal for it." He stomped off.

Hutch urged Paco over to his friend. Starsky kept moving away each time he drew near.

"Dammit Hutch! Stay away from me! Weren't ya listening? I killed the last guy dumb enough ta be my 'best' friend. It's not safe for you ta be around me." Starsky kept his back to his friend and his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"I don't believe it." Hutch's tone was soft and low.

"I don't care what you believe. It's what happened. Colby was right. I was investigated for murder, Jake's."

"I still don't believe it."

"I put my hand over his mouth! I kept it there even though he struggled. When I released him after the VC where gone, he was dead. I KILLED HIM!"

"No you didn't. I know you Stark, you didn't kill him!"

"It really is true what they say about blonds." Starsky snapped at him.

"That we have more fun?" A small grin formed on Hutch's dried and cracked lips.

"Hell no! That you're dumb! 'Dumb blond', male, female… all of ya - dumb!" Starsky glared over his hunched shoulders at the stubborn man on the donkey. "DUMBASS!"

Paco's long ears flopped around at the sharp words as if to deny the charge.

"Not you- HIM!" Starsky pointed to the man on Paco's back.

Paco seemed placated and dropped his ears off to the sides, apparently no longer interested in the conversation. Or perhaps the long things were just too heavy and the little burro was too tired to care about holding them up right any longer.

Starsky looked away. Damn burro had more sense then his jackass of a partner.

Hutch stared at the hunched, tight shoulders, could feel the waves of emotional pain rolling off of him and dismounted the donkey. He held onto Paco until his legs felt like they would hold him, than unsteadily walked the short distance to Starsky's side. "You didn't kill him."

Starsky flinched when a hand landed on his tense shoulder, and stayed there, kneading the tight muscles. He pulled away from the comforting hand. He didn't deserve it. Not when he was responsible for the death of a friend.

"You didn't" The soft voice was whisper quiet.

Starsky wanted to believe him. But it was a lie. He had killed… no, had murdered Jake. Sure, to save the lives of others, but that still didn't make everything all right. He mutely shook his head, silently disagreeing with his friend.

"You didn't do it Starsk; you wanna know how I know that?"

Starsky kept his back to his friend, but kept still and listened.

"I know that because even in your darkest, most intense flashbacks, you never hurt me. I was kinda out of it for a while there, but I knew when you were with me. I trusted you then and I trust you now. I recall how I struggled, I thought Colby had me again and a hand came over my mouth and nose… I couldn't breathe, until I realized it was you and I relaxed. The second I did that… you released your hold over my mouth and nose… I'm betting that you did the same for Jake. Sure, you had to keep him quiet. But the second he quieted and relaxed, you released him, just as you released me. You. Didn't. Kill. Him."

Starsky wanted to believe him. Was Hutch just telling him what he wanted to hear? Or was he telling him the truth?

"You didn't kill him. You weren't convicted of his murder, were you?"

He shook his head; his throat was too tight to speak.

"Did they tell you what the cause of death was?"

He thought hard, dredging up long buried memories, than nodded.

"How did Jake really die?"

"They told me he bled to death. They could have been covering for me though." Starsky made a last ditch effort to hold onto what he had subconsciously believed for all these years. "They've done stuff like that before."

"I don't think so. You would never have been able to become a cop, you wouldn't have made into the Academy… a part of you knows that what I say is true. I'm betting Jake knew that you tried to save him. Now, would Jake want you to feel guilty for not being able to save him? I didn't know him, but somehow, I don't think he would Starsk."

Starsky struggled to accept what Hutch said. Could it be true? Guilt had made him believe himself responsible of his friend's murder. No, not murder… perhaps it hadn't been murder. He had done all he could to save Jake, just as he would do whatever he could to save Hutch. He still wasn't completely convinced that he hadn't at least contributed to Jake's death. But if Hutch believed that he hadn't done it… than maybe, given enough time, he could too.

He felt Hutch's hand slip off of his shoulder and down his back, realizing what was happening he whipped around and caught Hutch as he fell to the ground. The blond's skin was hot beneath his hands.

"Hutch?"

TBC