But why are all the girls gone?

Disclaimer: We own none of this. Only the plot.heeheehee

Author's Note: Alright, since everyone thought it was a good idea, here is the sequel to Definition of Love. Be warned, if you haven't read our other story (DoL) you won't understand some of the jokes in this one. We recommend that you read that one first!

Anyway, this is the secondfanfic I (Kawaii Fantasy) and Akuhei no Kyouwa have ever written. It includes all of the characters from our other story (more specifically, characters from: Final Fantasy, InuYasha, Full Metal Alchemist, and sCRYed) and a lot of them are very OOC. Please don't be offended! Moving on, this story's about a 'welcome home' party that Tidus and Yuna throw for Aeris and Cloud in celebration of them getting out of jail (you won't get it unless you've read our other fic). It involves tons of sake, car chases, Barny, and scary party games. You have been warned... dun dun dunnnn.

And if you like it, pleeease review! ...oh and since we're in the process of writing this, we won't update as frequently as we did our other story...but if you leave tons of reviews that just might change. -hint hint wink wink-

Chapter One…Blue Markers

Group One…Sake

"Tachibana, got any sake?" Kazuma wondered, making himself at home on Tachibana's couch.

"Yeah…I bought a new shipment today," he said, absentmindedly.

"From who?"

"Barney."

"Have I not warned you of that treacherous animal?" Ryuhou pleaded.

"Who are you calling a treacherous animal?" Barney asked, bursting in through the window, pulling out a rifle.

"Dad!" Cougar jumped up happily, hurrying to the purple reptile.

"I think you've had a bit too much sake, Cougar." Mimori stated.

"What? You're not supposed to have any of my sake! I'm saving it for Cammy! Our hott date's tonight."

"Damn…I wanted to get Minori-san drunk so we could take over your bed," Cougar sighed. Mimori smacked him, and Ryuhou decided not to notice. Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Tachibana picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Is Ryuhou there?"

"How did you get this number?"

"Is Ryuhou there, dammit!" Tachibana gave the phone to Ryuhou.

"Yes?"
"We're throwing a party!"

"May I ask who is speaking?"

"WE WERE FLYING THROUGH DA CLOUDZ!" Ryuhou pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at it. He could hear arguing in the background.

"Cloud! Give the phone back to Yuna! Don't make me pull out my taser!"

"Ryuhou? Are you there? It's Yuna…again. We're in jail."

"Did you hug a minor too?"

"No! We bailed Aeris and Cloud out! And now we're throwing a party. So, we've invited you, Mimori, Cougar, and Kazuma to join us in our celebration."

"Sounds intriguing. Where, may I ask?"

"Motel-5!" No one said a word.

"Tachibana, would you like to come?" Mimori asked, being polite.

"No! With you freaks gone, me and Cammy can finally have the house to ourselves!"

"I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME!" Mimori started crying as she ran towards the restroom.

"WAIT! THERE'S NO McFLURRY IN MY BATHROOM!" Tachibana warned her, wanting to save her a trip. She, instead, ran to his bedroom.

"YES! WE CAN HAVE THE BED TO OURSELVES NOW!" Cougar jumped up happily, only to be punched by Kazuma.

"YOU HORNY BASTARD! …she's mine!" With that, Cougar and Kazuma raced to the bedroom doors, only to be stopped by Zetsuei.

"I shall enter…I would like a cup of sugar…er…never mind." Ryuhou walked back to his place on the couch. "Barney, I need more juice…"

Group Two…Arthritis

"SIT, BOY!" Kagome screamed at Inuyasha as he rummaged through her underwear drawer curiously. Kikyou pulled out her bow and arrows.

"DIE!"

"Will you please stop trying to F--KING KILL ME!" Inuyasha screamed.

"No." "SIT, BOY!" "DIE!" The girls yelled furiously.

"SHUT UP WITH YOUR STUPID INSIGNIFICANT PROBLEMS!" Sesshomaru yelled, losing his temper. Kouga and Ayame were sitting on Kagome's bed, watching everyone fight. The five were in Kagome's house, seeing as fighting evil demons was getting boring…and painful.

Before Inuyasha could protest, Kagome's phone started ringing. Not waiting for anyone to pick it up, he grabbed it.

"What do you want?"

"Inuyasha?"

"STALKER!"

"No! It's Aeris."

"Who?"

"……………………"

"Give it to me you idiot," Kikyou said, forcing the phone from the dog boy.

"What is it Aeris?"

"We got out of jail!"

"So?" She could hear Cloud sniffling in the back.

"So…we're throwing a party!"

"So?"

"SO YOU'RE INVITED!"

"Well, that changes everything! Where is it?"

"Motel-5!"

"Didn't we kill the sheep-owners?"

"Well, it's still open. And we rented the whole place out."

"Okay."

"Okay…well…are you gonna come?"

"Is Barney catering!" Inuyasha asked, grabbing the phone from Kikyou's clutches.

"HECK YES!" Tidus screamed in the distance.

"Okay, anyway. It's tomorrow…so come."

"We be soo comin' foo!"

"Can I come?" Kagome asked hopefully.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE MISSY! HOJO'S COMING TOMORROW WITH YOUR ARTHRITIS MEDICINE!" her grandpa screamed from the kitchen.

"What? I don't have arthritis!"

"You will tomorrow!" Kagome sat on her bed and sulked. Inuyasha put down the phone and grinned.

"BARNEY! AND THAT MEANS SAKE!" The others stared.

Group Three…I see dead people!

"Kagayaku, sekai ga, kono te ni afure!" Ed sang happily. Winry threw a wrench at him.

"SHUT UP! YOU'VE BEEN SINGING THAT SONG ALL DAY!"

"Roy!" Maes Hughes walked into Roy's office happily, seeing Winry and Ed having a blazing row. He walked over them, ignoring their screams.

("WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SOUND LIKE A FREAKIN WOMAN! You sound better than me dammit!" "Just cause my voice is as light as a feather doesn't mean that I sound like a F--KIN' WOMAN!" "Yes it does…" "NO it doesn't!" "You just go on thinking that…'cause the braid certainly doesn't help your situation…you know what? You should get a rack…" "EXCUSE ME! EVEN IF I DID GET ONE IT WOULD BE NOTHING COMPARED TO YOURS!" Another wrench was flung, and Ed lay unconscious on the ground.)

"Maes? I thought you were dead!" Roy asked, stupefied.

"Nope! They buried me alive! It was a bit uncomfortable really." Everyone stared at the 'dead' man.

"Are you really alive?" Al said, walking over and poking the man. He brushed his hand away and pulled something out of his pocket.

"OMFG IT'S A GUN! EVERYONE TAKE COVER!" Ed screamed, waking up and hiding behind Winry.

"You idiot, only Riza shoots people!"

"Look! Elicia! She's so cute!" Hughes said, waving the picture in Roy's face. Roy proceeded to set the man on fire.

"ROY! NO LIGHTING FIRE IN YOUR OFFICE!" Riza commanded. Amazingly, the phone rang! You can only guess who was on it.

"Hello? Lt. Colonel Mustang here."

"OMG IS IT ROY? TELL HIM I SAY HI!"

"SHUT UP TIDUS! Roy? Hey! It's Yuna!"

"What happened to Tidus?"

"I tied him up. Anyway, Aeris and Cloud got out of jail! …or rather, we bailed them out, but that's besides the point. WE'RE THROWING A PARTY!"

"A party? Where?"

"MOTEL-5!"

"Shouldn't we be banned from there after killing the owners?" Al asked.

"We rented the place out!" Yuna continued, choosing not to answer the question, "so come by there tomorrow!" with that, she hung up.

"Looks like we're going to a party!" Envy grinned. No one bothered to ask how he showed up, as they could see broken glass littering the ground near the area the window once occupied, "Hey, what do we do about Hughes? Didn't I kill you?"

"I can't come! I need to dig my coffin back up and pretend I'm dead so they don't get suspicious!" he said with shifty eyes, "WAIT! THAT WAS YOU WHO SHOT ME!" He ran out of the office.

Group Four…Pete

"Okay, so we've invited everyone," Yuna stated as she set the phone down.

"Where's my pet mothball?" Cloud cried.

"What?" Tidus asked, confused.

"Er…Cloud found a mothball in our jail cell…and he named it Pete…" Aeris said. They all turned to Cloud, who was standing over a pile of junk on the floor.

"NOOO! IT'S PROBABLY LOST UNDER A PILE OF…oh…never mind. IT'S HERE!" he picked up the mothball and started caressing it in a little corner of the room.

"How'd you guys get the money to bail us out?" Aeris wondered.

"Oh. That was easy. We broke into Cloud's bank account and took everything out of it. You had a lot of money, you know. Enough to buy Aeris that ring she wanted for Valentine's Day," Yuna told everyone.

"Oh. Shit," Cloud whispered. He had hidden all his money and apologized to Aeris for not being able to buy her the ring, when in reality he was stashing it away to buy a rabid monkey for Pete.

"YOU DIDN'T BUY ME THAT RING! AND YOU HAD THE MONEY!" Aeris screeched. The two started fighting, forgetting they had a party to plan for.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO! WE NEED TO START PLANNING FOR TOMORROW!" The happy couple decided to cooperate, but were horrified to see Tidus conversing with his toes in the other corner of the room.

"Ignore him." Yuna commanded. So, the three got to work.

"Wait…" Tidus said, interrupting the plot, "this chapter had nothing to do with blue markers!" Suddenly, a floating hand flew down and handed one to him, "YAY!"

Author's Note: Alright, you know the drill. Review, and you get a second chapter. Don't review, and well...we'll not get into that...