Disclaimer: We don't own any of this. Just the plot.
Author's Note: Wow. It's been a WHILE you guys... we are so veryyyyy sorry for the HUGE delay. TT You know how it is...with school and not seeing each other often. TT But we're finally updating. Sadly, we won't have enough time anymore to thank the reviewers individually... so we'll just say thank you to all you guys for the reviewers! Oh, and that doesn't mean you shouldn't review anymore! -wink- The more reviews...the longer the chapters! If you have any questions, we'll be glad to answer.Enjoy the new chapter!
Chapter Five…Deja Vu
Barney walked into the room.
"Someone call?" he asked.
"Yeah," Ryuhou started, "How about hittin' us up with some juice?"
"You got it," he replied enthusiastically, pulling out a case of sake from his tail. Everyone got up and ran to the purple…thing.
"Hey wait, isn't Ed too young to be drinking?" Roy asked innocently.
"Shut up!" Ed yelled, "err…I mean…no I'm not!"
"I say we throw him in a closet until we're all done drinking to our heart's content," Roy continued, snickering.
"Wait…Almost all of you are too young to drink!" Envy said. "…oh well." He tossed everyone a bottle of sake.
After about an hour of drinking, everyone was quite…drunk?
"Yeahhhh who's too young to drink NOW Colonel Shit?" Ed mumbled from the floor.
"Put a sock in it, boy," Sesshomaru slurred. The ballroom was a mess. Or rather, the people in the ballroom were a mess. The couches were occupied by those too drunk to stand, while the floor was home to those too drunk to make it to a couch. The few, who attempted to stand, failed miserably and ended up on the floor again. Poor guys…
"I think –hic- I need summore –hic- juice…" Inuyasha stumbled to say, "Howza –hic- 'bout it, Barney ol' buddy ol' pal?" Unfortunately for Inuyasha, Barney was too busy flirting with Winry to get more sake.
"Why thank you!" Winry replied to the dinosaur, "you've filled out nicely, too!" she started giggling, as Barney groped her, and fell backwards onto the couch.
"Ugh…I'm feeling –gag- sick…" Ayame stated, trying to stand up, "I'll be right back…" she stumbled out of the room, holding on to the walls for support.
"When you're out with your friendssss in your new Mercedes Benzzzz!" Envy slurred happily.
"And you're…" Ed continued, an arm around the palm tree.
"ON DRUGSSS!" They both sang. "Give it to me!"
"WE ARE ALL ON DRUGSSS!" Inuyasha and Ryuhou joined in, off key. "Yeahhh."
"Give me somma that shtuffff…" Al said, falling over.
"Me thinks you've had too mucha –hic- sake, young man," Mimori giggled as she tried to help the boy up. Too bad she failed, due to her drug…er…sake overdose.
"WE ARE ALL ON DRUGSSS YEAH!" everyone started singing, off key.
"NO ONE EXPECTSSSS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" Al screamed, jumping and throwing empty sake bottles at random people.
"OY!" Kikyou yelled after having a bottle thrown at her head, "Don'ttt throw things! Be a good –hic- person and RECYCLE!"
"Hey!" Roy said, picking up a bottle (after attempting three times and failing because he thought Ed's boot was a sake bottle), "Who's up fo' spin the bottle?"
"Yeeahhhhh…" Cougar agreed, "I gotsa pocket fulla change right here with me! Ryuhou – how's $8.95 sound to youz?"
"I think that be purdy nice, right thurrr…" Ryuhou said, shoving Mimori towards the man with the money.
"Do yo thanggg, Mimoriiiiiiiii," Kouga slurred, "Boy the musiccccc makes me loose controoooooool!"
"Howzaa bout that game-o spin the bottle?" Riza said, crawling towards an empty sake bottle.
"Well, the little lady said sooooo," Ed said, looking up from the floor, "I says we doo what she wants orr we loseeee our headsssss!"
"Alrightyyy peoples," Tidus said, "Let's make a circleee." The group all crawled to the spot where Riza sort of…sat.
"Let'sssss begin!" Riza said, putting the bottle in the middle of the badly formed circle.
"I WANNA SHTART!" Kazuma yelled, spinning the bottle. It landed on Yuna. They tried to kiss, but missed, both falling on each other in the process.
"Close enufffffff," Yuna droned, spinning the bottle. It spun rapidly, finally slowing down its pace and landing on…Inuyasha. So they…yeah, you know. And then it was Inuyasha's turn!
It spun, and spun, and spun some more. Finally landing in between Kikyou and Kouga.
"Whaddo I do now?" the dog boy asked himself, looking between the two, "well, they both look purdy nice…I'll pickem both!" So Inuyasha, the lucky dog, made out with both the love of his life and the other guy. So Kikyou took her turn, deciding that Kouga was too drunk to go. The bottle spun and landed on Roy.
"Dontcha mind if I do!" Kikyou grinned as she launched herself on the hottie. They shared a friendly kiss, YES REALLY, and soon enough it was Roy's turn. But before he got the chance to touch the bottle, a penguin showed up.
"Excuse me, sir, I do believe it is time to polish the young master's spin-the-bottle…bottle," so the little guy grabbed the bottle, polished it carefully, and placed it back down. "There you are, sir." The penguin waddled away to…nowhere.
"Okaaaaaaay itsa muh turn," Roy said as he spun the newly polished bottle. It spun a ton (A/N: RHYME!) and landed on…Edward.
"Whaddo I hafta do?" Ed said, eyeing the bottle.
"This!" Roy said as he grabbed Ed. The two made out passionately for a few minutes…until Envy got jealous and split them apart. Ed looked quite…pleased with himself. O.o And Roy looked…as normal as if he made out with men on a daily basis. Good thing they're drunk and no one will ever know about this ever again… or so they thought…
---Off…somewhere…else?---
"Hehe…are you sure they won't find out about this later, Pierre?" Sebastian asked his partner-in-crime.
"Yeah, of course they won't, you 'tard. I am the master, you know…" Pierre said, puffing out his chest haughtily.
"Whatever… 'master.'" Sebastian muttered to himself.
---Back to the drunk people---
Ed took his turn at the bottle. It landed on…him? WTF? …
"Whaddo I do now?" Ed said, eyeing the bottle.
"Woah, déjà vu…" Tidus said, rubbing his face.
"Duuuude, you speak Italian?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.
"It's French, maaaaan…" Cloud said, leaning against Sesshomaru.
"Vous parlez français aussi? C'est très bon! J'adore le français. C'est comme le lange de les personnes Russie!" Al said happily.
"Duuuude, you speak Italian, too?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.
"Woah, you're right, maaaan…killer!" Cloud agreed. What a fucktard… Anyway, back to Ed and his…situation.
"Whaddo I do now?" Ed repeated, eyeing the bottle.
"Uhh…fuck yourself?" Envy asked from his place on the floor. Too bad his drunk state didn't interfere with his evil schemes… "Wait! I gotsit!" Envy jumped up and transformed himself…into Edward.
"Okay, squeakie, time to fuck me! Er…yourself!" Envy grinned, swaying slightly due to alcohol overdose.
"Woah, is that me?" Ed asked, wide eyed. "I have a flabby ass…damn."
"Whatever, let's go in that closet!" Envy suggested.
"Duuude, I can't fuck myself…I'd be cheating on Riza…with myself! Let's just make out…a lot…" Ed replied. Envy looked down at the floor sadly, and Roy eyed Riza questioningly. She was busy staring at…dust fly.
"F-iiiiiiiiine!" Envy sighed, giving up. Hey, a passionate make-out session with Ed? What more could a palm tree ask for… So 'Ed' jumped on Ed and the two Eds busied themselves in making out with the other Ed, and so in the end there were two rather content-looking Edwards.
"Damn! I'm a great kisser," Ed sighed.
"No, I am!" The other Ed replied.
"Ohhh shutsup, youz two…er…youz. And lets continue the gaaaaaaaaame!" Cloud yelled impatiently. Envy transformed back into his usual palm-tree self before Ed could see, and spun the bottle. It landed on Ed. WTF?
"Woah, déjà vu…" Tidus said, rubbing his face.
"Duuuude, you speak Italian?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.
"It's French, maaaaan…" Cloud said, leaning against Sesshomaru.
"Vous parlez français aussi? C'est très bon! J'adore le français. C'est comme le lange de les personnes Russie!" Al said happily.
"Duuuude, you speak Italian, too?" Ryuhou asked, amazed.
"Wait… déjà vu… shut the fuck up!" Riza yelled, annoyed. The effects of the alcohol were starting to rub off…how sad!
"Hey…Envy can't kiss Ed!" Winry said, jealous. "He already had a turn!"
"Fine!" Envy yelled. Anddddd…just to spite her, he handed the bottle over to Yuna.
"I…can't play. I have to go find the other hostess!" Yuna said, handing the bottle back to Naruto and walking out of the room. WTF?
"Huh? What am I doing here?" He said, scratching his head stupidly.
"SASUKE!" Sakura jumped on him.
"AHHHHHHHHH! HELP! RAPE! RAPE!" Sasuke screamed, begging for mercy.
"Anyone got Ramen?" Naruto inquired.
"Uhhhh…" Cougar said, uneasily.
"You two…get a room. Sasuke, has that book not taught you anything? You've had it for two weeks!" Kakashi sighed. Sasuke turned bright red.
"Umm…will you four just get OUT OF HERE!" Mimori interrupted, confused and lost. The four got up and walked out.
"Yeah, fine. There are less girls than I thought…damn…can't pick up any chicks here…I wonder if any of the men are worth the trouble…?" Kakashi grumbled, leading the way out.
"MOVING ON!" Al yelled, twitching. Envy still held the bottle.
"Well, I still have to get rid of this thing…Fiiine Winry, you can have it." He turned to give it to her, but she had left.
"She probably went to go cry…" Cougar mumbled. "Stupid emotional women."
"Whatever." Envy said, getting impatient. "Just take it, Riza." He threw the bottle to her. She shrugged and spun it. It spun and spun and spun and landed on Edward.
"Okay, I'm getting tired of this…" Ryuhou muttered.
"Woah… déjà-" Tidus began.
"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" Cloud yelled, kicking Tidus in the back and knocking him over. Tidus fell over and his face hit the floor. He sniffled.
"Alright. Come on, Edward." Riza said, moving close to the spaced-out idiot. Roy twitched as Riza kissed Ed on the cheek. Alphonse took a turn at spinning the bottle. And it landed on-
"-WHAT THE HELL!" Roy screamed. "EDWARD! AGAIN!"
"I KNOW WHAT'S GOING! YOU GUYS ARE TRYING TO RAPE ME! AND NOW YOU'VE GOTTEN AL INTO THE SCHEME! INCEST!" Ed yelled, paranoid and twitching. "NO MORE KISSES FROM EDWARD!" He jumped up and started searching for someone. "WHERE'S WINRY! NO! MY SOURCE OF PROTECTION!" He sat on the ground and started crying.
Alphonse sat, white as a sheet and left eye twitching slightly. "Me? And Edward? WHY!" he screamed and rocked back and fourth.
"YOU KNOW WHAT? SPIN-THE-BOTTLE IS OFFICIALLY OVER!" Kikyou screamed, getting up and tossing the bottle over her shoulder. It landed on Sesshomaru's head and smashed.
"Huh? What was that?" he asked stupidly. "Hmmm…dinner time!" He held out his hand to help Ed up.
"Why…thank you!" Ed said as he took up the offer. Suddenly, Sesshomaru let go and Ed landed in Envy's lap. "Oh…shit…" he sighed.
"Heeheehee! Why Edo, are you upset?" Envy asked innocently. He got a glare in return.
"Let's just go. I'm starving…" Barney said, getting up from the sofa. "And you guys were amusing to watch play spin-the-bottle. And Ed's probably lost his virginity."
"Who said he had any to begin with?" Al snickered. Ed threw his shoe at him. "Well, you and Winry are always so, you know…close. What with all your 'mechanical business.' I mean, how else is she supposed to fix your leg? The freaking metal stops halfway up your thigh…and you guys do seem to take an unusually long time…" Ed turned purple, and everyone in the room was snickering and pointing.
"Just don't rape her next time, okay?" Al finished.
"No…don't let her rape you next time." Roy said calmly as he helped a giggling Riza up to her feet. Ed was twitching.
"And you guys call me a dog…" Inuyasha sighed, helping up Kikyou. She was slightly red, but had managed to keep her composure during Al's speech.
"You pigs…" Ryuhou scrunched up his nose, glancing at Mimori out of the corner of his eye. He gracefully helped her up, 'accidentally' causing her to fall into his arms. She blushed slightly and smiled at him, but to his disappointment got off and held her hand out to Cougar and Kazuma. (A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHA LOSER!) After everyone except Ed and Envy were standing, they left off to eat dinner.
"HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME!" Ed screamed after them as Envy held him back as not to let him get up.
"Heeheehee…are you nervous yet Hagane no Chibi?" Envy grinned as he stroked Ed's braid. Ed twitched and shot up off of him. Envy rolled on the floor laughing as Ed ran as fast as a bullet. Too bad Ed didn't know he was just kidding…
"Ah well. I'm gonna make that punk's night completely miserable and scarring. I'm so mean…Heeheehee!" Envy snickered as he helped himself up and headed towards the dining room.