This Chapter is dedicated to: Kunoichi 008
My other half! Look! I'm not being lazy!...well kinda…-ahem-
Q: "Why is there a picture of Elvis on the wall?"
A: "…that was random!"
Hehe Sorry! . (inside joke) I'm so sleep deprived right now!
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto…probably will never own it…-cries-
Authors Note: GAH! School starts in two days…BLARGH! I hate it…I'm really sorry for being so lazy, but I've just had other things on my mind for the last few months. I really truly enjoy writing these stories…but I am so damn lazy! And my attention span is parallel to that of a gopher…(what is a gopher's attention span anyway?) Well in other words my attention span is short. I really want to thank all you guys! I was going through my stats the other day and I re-read all my reviews. I found that when I read them I felt motivated and I finished writing the last 2 chapters that day! However I didn't want to submit them just yet, because I had been planning on updating most of my stories at the same time. A new chapter of Jobs Jobs Jobs and I'm submitting two new stories! One is called It all started with a Makeover and I haven't really decided on a title for the second one yet, but just look out for it if your interested. Both stories are going to be humour (Sorry for the Canadian spelling...I'm obviously from Canada). I probably won't update my bloopers just yet, because 1) I have to think of some more...I only have a short list so far and 2) I'm lazy. Don't worry though I plan on updating all these stories again soon, until then, keep sending me ideas! Thank you for listening to my droning rambling, I promise not to bore you anymore! Enjoy. Ja!
(A/N: Did you read my long drabble? If you didn't at least skim over it, something important may be in there!)
Greetings from the hospital:
It was a beautiful sunny day in Konoha. The sun was high in the sky, the birds were frolicking and enjoying their freedom, spreading there wings as they flew over Konoha's Hospital.
However despite the beautiful summer day (btw don't know if it's currently summer…) things were not going so well.
Inside Konoha's hospital a mind filled with revenge was distracted and emotionless to his surroundings. A pink haired Kunoichi sat beside his bed peeling apples, and thought about her bed ridden teammate. Her mind wandered to her other teammate who had returned to Konoha a few days earlier with the new Hokage.
Sasuke, the bed ridden boy, could only think about his distasteful reunion with his older brother weeks prior to his current condition. He had definitely come out with the worst during his 'bonding' brotherly time. In his mind he wondered what his hateful and hated brother was doing at this very moment.
With our dear Itachi and Kisame
Itachi: "WE WERE SO CLOSE…dammit…why Jiraiya and otouto-san had to show up…"
Itachi sits in the clearing not moving nor saying anything. They had decided to rest before carrying out their latest plan to capture the Kyuubi. Itachi and Kisame, a few weeks earlier, had actually almost succeeded in capturing the Kyuubi vessel. However; as fate would have it, Jiraiya, one of the legendary three, had shown up and ruined their plan.
Kisame: "Wellwe should hurry up and capture the Kyuubi before it leaves the hospital." –Stands up and looks over to Itachi-
Itachi: -sighs and gets up- "Well we should hurry up and capture the Kyuubi before it leaves the hospital." –Begins to walk towards Konoha's borders-
Kisame: -sweat drop- "I just said that…"
Itachi: -pauses and turns to him- "I guess I was successfully ignoring you then." –Turns back and continues to walk-
Kisame: -glare- "Ignoring me my ass! He just hates it when I say something before he does…"
Itachi: "Stop glaring at me or I'll be having shark fin soup tonight and I'll tell our leader your death was a bloody accident! I'll even make it sound convincing with my exceptional acting skills." –Sighs silently- "I always wanted to be an actor…damn Uchiha Shinto…how dare you say I couldn't act…hmph…ruined my dream…and everyone wonders why I killed the clan…but I showed you didn't I? You dead bastard…"
Itachi mentally curses the dead Uchiha who slandered his acting skills as he continues on his way to the hospital.
Kisame just follows behind praying that they'll capture the Kyuubi this time. Kisame has been missing his soap opera, and tonight they were going to find out who the father was for Megan's baby. Kisame clenched his fist as he swore that he would not miss another episode of "Days of our Shinobi."
They manage to penetrate the village's defenses with stealth and swiftness…actually…they just traded a kid some candy for his balloons, which they hid their faces behind as they walked. They get to the hospital, but freeze when they saw Tsunade talking to a nurse in the main entrance.
Kisame: "What do we do know…?" –he asks Itachi still hiding behind the balloon-
Itachi: "Patience…we'll wait till she leaves…"
2 hours later
Kisame: -In an extremely agitated and bored voice- "She hasn't moved yet…"
Itachi: -growls- "I'm not that blind idiot…maybe I should get my eyes checked out…but the nurses may try to rape me cause I'm so pretty…" –stares at his reflection in the balloon-
A person walks up to Itachi and Kisame.
(A/N: 'P' stands for person)
P: "Uh…excuse me? I couldn't help but notice for the last 2 hours you've been standing in that exact spot…"
Itachi: "I know I'm hot, but please, I don't appreciate being watched and I won't stand for a stalker!"
P: -sweat drop- "Actually I just thought you should know that your standing in a 'No standing zone…'"
Itachi & Kisame: -sweat drop and glare-
Itachi: "Well sorry! (Note the sarcasm)" –they both move away in to some bushes that were right beside the entrance to the hospital. Then he begins to think why they hadn't hidden there in the first place…-
Kisame: "What do we do now? Tsunade hasn't moved in the last 2 hours…"
Itachi: "Be silent I'm thinking!" –Ponders for a second- "We have to find a way to do it with out using chakra…so we can fight when the time comes…I got it! We'll go find that child and make him tell us where he got his balloons! Then we'll go to the place and steal them, and then use them to float on to the roof and we'll take the roof access stairs down to the Kyuubi's room!"
Kisame: -sweat drop- "Okay…but what if…"
Itachi: -cuts him off- "I know what you're thinking! What if the child refuses to tell us where he got his balloons? I'll tell you what we'll do! We'll beat him senseless until he confesses!"
Kisame: -wipes brow- "Phew, for a second there I thought you might've come up with something crazy and impossible!"
Itachi and Kisame go and find the little boy, from who they obtained their balloons from. Luckily the boy was quite helpful and told them where he got the balloons. From a sheer twist of luck it was free balloon day! So our two beloved Akatsuki members got as many balloons as possible. Yes, things were definitely going their way today.
They returned to the hospital with all of their balloons.
Itachi: "Ready?"
Kisame: "Yep!"
They both hold their balloons up over their heads and wait...and wait…and wait…until…
Kisame: "Um…Itachi?"
Itachi: "Yes?"
Kisame: "This isn't working…"
Itachi: "Oh it'll work you just got to believe it will!"
Kisame: -sweat drop-
Itachi: "HEY! HEY! See look it's working!"
Kisame looks over and his eyes widen in shock. Itachi had indeed started to float.
Kisame: "I'm sorry for doubting you!" –Begins to believe and starts to float as well-
They get a few feet off the ground when.
"HEADS UP!"
Two kunai hurtle towards the balloons. The Akatsuki members didn't think losing a balloon would matter so they didn't try to deter away from the kunai…Which was their mistake. The kunai didn't even hit the balloons; instead it had severed ALL of the strings they were holding, causing them to plummet those few feet back to the earth.
Itachi: "DAMN! DAMN! FUCK! DAMN!"
Kisame: "It was a good plan while it lasted…" –plays with a blade of grass-
Itachi: "Now how are we going to get up there…it's not like we can use our chakra to run up the wall…HEY!" –Snaps his fingers- "That's exactly what we'll do!"
Kisame: "But what about not using chakra?"
Itachi: "True…but…I'm lazy and I really don't want to walk back and get more balloons! Cause you see sun, plus,walking, plus, sweat,equals, Itachi and a bad hair day!"
Kisame: "I guess that makes sense…"
So Itachi and Kisame swiftly and silently make it to the roof. They landed beside the water towers and walked towards the roof top access door. It suddenly flung open.
Itachi & Kisame: "Shit…"
They both look around to find a place to hide and end up jumping in to separate water towers.
Itachi, being smart for the first time today, made a little hole in his tower so he could see what was going on. His vision was still indeed slipping, but despite the chest deep water and they horrific day he had been having (with his stupid decisions and what not) His eyes widened in excitement as he saw the Kyuubi vessel beginning to fight with his little brother!
Itachi: "Good…it's just them and that pink haired Kunoichi. Once they beat each other senseless I'll take advantage of their weakness and kidnap the Kyuubi!" (A/N: HOLY SHIT! GIVE HIM A MEDAL! IT'S HIS FIRST ACTUAL GOOD PLAN OF THE DAY!...okay continuing the story…)
Meanwhile in the other water tower
Kisame, who had no idea what was going on outside, was thoroughly enjoying himself.
Kisame: "I haven't bathed in weeks! This is so relaxing…and I don't have to listen to anyone's voice…peace and quiet…maybe I'll move in to here…" –relaxes in the water and looks up at the clouds-
Back to Itachi
Itachi: "I have to go tell Kisame of my plan… -looks out the peep hole- They seem distracted…I have to jump over to the other tower…" –climbs up the wall using his chakra and with super fast speed jumps over to the other side, and in to the other tower-
But…
-BIG SPLASH-
Itachi: -looks around- "Kisame? Kisame? Where are you? I swore I saw him jump in to this tower…" –looks around and ponders on where Kisame could've gone.-
There was suddenly a series of bubbles that made there way to the surface. Then Itachi realized that the ground was squishy.
Itachi: "oops…"
He stepped off the squishy part and on to the ground and something floated to the top.
Itachi: "Geez Kisame! I thought you had gills?" –Pokes the large body-
Kisame: -turns over and stands up straight- "I do! But you kind of landed on my head!" –Gives him a angry look-
Itachi: "Sorry." –Not sounding sorry at all- "I have a plan…" -makes a hole and looks out, he sees Naruto and Sasuke powering up their final attacks- "Once they're tired and weak we'll go out and kidnap the Kyuubi!"
Kisame: "How do you know? What are they doing?" –Tries to look out of the hole but Itachi hogs it. - "Come on let me see!"
Itachi: "Stop pushing me!" –He hisses and turns to him.-
They have a shoving match, which turns in to a little fist fight until...
Itachi: -stops suddenly- "Do you feel that insanely large amount of chakra hurtling towards us?"
Kisame: -stops and feels for a second- "Yes I believe I do."
They couldn't give it a second thought, because at that moment there was a large ass explosion and both Akatsuki members were hurtling through the air.
Itachi: "Damn...my plan was soooo good too..." -Flies through the air and outside of Konoha's gate.
Kisame: "We didn't get the Kyuubi...but I did have a bath! Now I won't miss my soaps!" –He thinks happily as he flies through the air with Itachi beside him-
They land a few yards away from Konoha's gates. Itachi managed to use his chakra and attach himself to a tree branch. Kisame did as well, but his branch broke and he landed in some bushes.
Itachi: "You okay?" –Drops down beside him-
Kisame: -in a casual voice- "Yeah...I just can't feel my ass that's all..."
Itachi: -sighs in frustration- "We failed again..."
Kisame: -still lying on the bushes as Itachi sits beside him- "Yeah...I still can't feel my ass...can we rest at a hotel that has cable? I can't miss my soaps!"
Itachi: -sighs again- "I suppose; isn't today's episode when they find out who's the father of Megan's baby?"
Kisame: "Yeah."
Itachi: "What are we waiting for?" –Gets up and starts on his way to a hotel with cable-
Kisame: "uhm...hey? Itachi? I still can't feel my ass here...come to think of it I can't even feel my legs...you want to help me out here?"
And so ends another Misadventure of the Akatsuki...
To be continued!
Another chapter done. Well thank you for reading. Apparently we're not supposed to answer reviews anymore; which really sucks because it makes it hard to thank you guys for your great ideas. So I'm going to start writing dedications at the beginning of each story, and I'll thank those who reviewed in the authors note. I hope you enjoyed this one! Thanks for reading, now you know what to do! Review and send me an idea if you have some! The more ideas I get the sooner I update! Also sorry for any mistakes (this includes Grammar, spelling and what not) It's summer time…schools (ewww…-gags and dies-) almost starting, and I had a sleepover on Friday and I kind of didn't sleep…at all…(even ask Kunoichi 008 she was there and also didn't sleep!) so we were both tired and I'm still recovering. Thanks again for your support! Ja!