"Have you checked your desk drawer?" Danny asked Martin as he walked back into the bullpen before heading to his desk.
"No why?" Martin asked.
"You might want to read what is in there?" Danny told him before immersing himself in the paperwork that was lying on his desk.
Martin opened his desk drawer and pulled out the white envelope that had his name emblazoned on it in Samantha's distinctive handwriting. Danny had obviously received a letter from her too, so taking a leaf from Danny's book he decided to read his in private. He took a walk down to the break room, poured himself a cup of hot coffee before sitting at the back table and opened his envelope.
Martin,
I am sorry that I am doing this to you, but understand I have to.
You may not realize it, but when you broke off our relationship you broke my heart. I can hear you now saying 'Relationship, what relationship?' You'd probably be right in thinking that. It wasn't exactly a normal relationship where we went out with friends and met in restaurants and bars, but to me it was the best relationship I had ever had.
My life was never a great one. My father left when I was young, my mother was an alcoholic, and my sister despised me. So what did I do? I became a rebel. I did everything in my power to get noticed. And I got noticed in all the wrong ways. At the time I thought it was amazing, but now that I look back, it wasn't that great. Dating nearly every boy in school, smoking, drinking, not exactly what you would expect of a FBI agent.
When I was eighteen I got married. Thinking that it was my ticket out of where I lived. Boy was I wrong. It wasn't in fact I was right back to where I started. So I left, heading for the bright lights of New York City.
Even moving here didn't turn out to be that great. Sure I have a great job, but I haven't had a serious relationship, or even a meaningful one until you. But here is the clincher. I didn't know how to act. I have been hurt so many times before; I enjoyed keeping us a secret. No one knowing meant I couldn't get hurt. You showed me for the first time that there was a great life out there for me. Only I was too scared to reach out and grab it. It took me too long to realize that you really were the best thing in my life.
Now I've lost you and I don't blame you for it. If it had been role reversal I would probably have done the same thing, but just know how you did it hurt me worse than I ever have been before.
I now know what it is like to have your heart taken from your body and stamped on.
Martin I love you and I am sorry if me going is causing you to feel something but it was the only way that I could deal with everything. Maybe when the time is right you will be in contact and we can talk. But for now, enjoy your life. I am going to try and rebuild mine. Just know that I love you and I don't expect those feelings to change.
For now, goodbye.
Samantha
Martin stared in disbelief at the words in front of him. Could it really be true? Samantha wasn't one for lying but he couldn't believe he had caused her that much heartache. So much that she had to get away.
He headed back into the bullpen and Danny knew by looking at his face that some pretty powerful stuff had to be in his letter. His eyes looked decidedly moist and he was clutching the letter hard against his chest.
"Hard to read wasn't it?" Danny questioned.
Martin could only nod. 'What have I done?' Was all he could think?