Title: A Letter of Confessions
Author: DaimaAshiki
Summary: Draco confesses to Harry after the events of HBP.
"A Letter of Confessions"
I cried in a bathroom
I cried to a ghost
I cried because I couldn't do
What I needed to do the most.
I know that it was horrible
But I didn't see a way out
He would have killed my Mum and Dad
Of that I have no doubt.
But he wouldn't have stopped with them
He would then come after me
I've always been afraid of him
Thought I don't let other people see.
I put on a brave mask
Though I wouldn't admit it if you asked
No one has ever seen
What you have seen of me.
You saw me at my weakest
When everything was wrong
I'd given up, I'd thought I'd lost
My world was breaking and I couldn't hold on.
I was so angry that you were there
That you could see me fall
I'd sworn that I'd never let anyone see
But you saw me at my worst of all.
You saw me with tears streaming down my cheeks
You saw me choking out my breaths
You heard me say I wasn't good enough
You heard me crying from deep in my chest.
I wanted you to think I would always win
But you beat me so many times
I always wanted to be better than you
But now all I want to do is hide.
I wanted you to go away
To erase that memory from your mind
To swear you'd never say to anyone
That you had seen a Malfoy cry.
You broke my skin
You broke my heart
You almost killed me
When you tore me apart.
I don't know how you knew a spell
That could cut so deep
It happened so fast
I could not speak.
I don't know what you did
Or if you felt regret
I felt like I bled all the blood I could bleed
What did you feel when you ripped open my chest?
Were you panicked or were you calm?
Was it what you've wanted to do, deep down, all along?
Did you fear that I would die?
Did you hold me? Did you cry?
I'm sure that night will haunt me
I don't see how I could forget
That look on your face when you saw me
I hope that I never surprise you again.
I've always tried to do just what was expected
I never thought that one day my fear would be detected
I hate that you saw me unprotected
Why did it have to be you!
I never liked you- I don't think I ever will
But I have a secret I have to tell
The reason I hated it was you
Is because I was jealous that everyone loved you.
It was praise I felt that I deserved
You know between us I wanted it more
But everyone saw you and thought you were prefect
No one else saw just how scared you were.
So I guess that's one thing we have in common
Though there probably aren't many more
I know you're not a hero
You can't save me anymore.
Don't try to find me
Don't think I need to be saved
Don't play the hero
Don't try to be brave.
And now my last confession
Though it may be hard to believe
I want to say I'm sorry
I think you deserve that at least.
I'm sorry for what I tried to do
I'm sorry for what I almost did
You're the only person I've apologized to
Maybe you can find it in your heart to forgive.