A/N: What? No death threats? We're feeling a little unloved here, people.

We had intended to simply wait to post until the end of the month, just to be mean and see how many threats we got then, but we decided to be nice and post it now.

Anyway, as promised, a full chapter just for the fight. Probably a little shorter than usual, but we felt it would take away from the to go on with other scenes that weren't related.

So…what are y'all still readin' this for? Go! It's what y'all been waitin' for! Shoo!

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Chapter 40

TA 3019 March 26 – Morning

Minas Tirith

"Boromir put your pants on and follow me!"

The shout echoed through the palace halls to the dining hall. Those gathered in the doorway had a mix of reactions.

Elrond's eyebrows shot up in shocked suspicion. Elrohir shook his head and quietly asked his twin what was going on. Elladan grinned evilly.

"Aragorn's going to kill Boromir."

The last came from Frodo while Gimli chuckled and Gandalf simply mumbled, "Hmm, maybe this will take some of the heat off of me."

Meanwhile, Sam was fretting about 'poor Mr. Boromir … he was only acting out of love, after all.' Merry and Haldir were both somewhere between wincing sympathetically and grinning expectantly. Pippin was hiding behind Eomer, peeking around the horse lord's legs as if he expected Aragorn's wrath would suddenly be turned on him.

Eomer leaned toward his husband, "Maybe we should leave for Rohan…now! Before Aragorn learns that we all knew.

"But…Boromir…" Faramir started.

"Don't worry, my jewel," Eomer cut him off, "We'll find you another brother."

The older man opened his mouth to reply to that hair-brained comment but was prevented from doing do by the sudden reappearance of Aragorn. The king of Gondor's expression was stormy as he stalked around the corner followed presently by a shame-faced Boromir wearing only loosely laced leggings and attractively mussed hair. A few steps behind the steward came Legolas and Farothen looking equally guilty.

Aragorn glared at the group in the doorway, "Out!"

As one they all rushed out leaving Boromir, Legolas and Farothen alone with the lion in his den. Of course, that didn't stop them from gathering outside the partially open door to listen.

As Aragorn paced, trying to decide where to start the other three lined up, side by side, a few feet inside the door. Absently Legolas positioned himself between Boromir and Farothen, not wanting to try his husband's patience. Seeing the two younger men within touching distance of each other was likely to make the older man's temper completely blow.

Borormir's appearance wasn't helping much either. The steward looked just like what he was, a lover pulled from bed on the verge of having a little fun. One whose leggings were slipping dangerously.

"Boromir," the elf whispered, drawing the man's attention.

"What?"

Legolas merely motioned with his head, directing attention where it was needed. Glancing in the direction indicated…down…Boromir gave a low growl of disgust and quickly, and tightly, retied the laces of his leggings.

Looking around Legolas with a half amused smirk Farothen asked, "How many times do you have to be caught with your jewels showing?"

"Oh!" Boromir hissed, scowling at his husband, "So I do this on purpose!"

"You've done this before?" Legolas asked curiously, glancing back and forth between his son and son-in-law.

Ignoring his Elven father Farothen gave his husband a small smile, "You do seem to take pride in being caught."

"You've never objected to the sh…"

Boromir's reply was cut short when Aragorn spun to face them, motioning in their general direction growling, "This is unacceptable!"

Legolas gave off an indignant huff toward Aragorn, "Okay, I've never slept with Boromir!"

Aragorn gave a short-tempered shake of his head, demanding, "What!"

"You were motioning to me and Boromir," the elf replied, sounding like he thought it was obvious.

"Actually," Boromir started in a vain attempt to ease tempers all around, "We have, technically, slept together, but you were under the covers and I was on top of them and we were both wearing our …"

Legolas glared at the man, his eyes silently warning the man to shut his mouth. Boromir wisely heeded the warning and fell silent.

"Ada," Farothen started, taking advantage of the lull in talking, "Can we discuss this rationally?"

"Rationally," Aragorn repeated coolly, "I just caught you in bed with my steward, when apparently everyone knew except me…"

"Actually, Elrond and Elrohir didn't know," Legolas added rather unhelpfully.

Ignoring the elf, Aragorn continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I've earned the right to yell!"

"But…" Farothen started again.

"How long has this been going on?" Aragorn demanded, "And don't tell me this was the first time!"

"Well… "

Aragorn cut Boromir off as a possibility occurred to him, "Were you sleeping together before I caught the two of you kissing at Helm's Deep?"

Boromir gave a small nervous laugh, "Which answer will keep you from killing me?"

"That would be no," Legolas stated needlessly, "But it's considered treason to lie to your king."

The steward sighed, "We've been together since Lorien."

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Pippin suddenly pulled away from the door where he'd been listening, "Since Lorien? Was I really that drunk?"

"Yes," everyone answered in complete monotone.

"I should have known something weird had gone on in Lorien." Gandalf commented, "Galadriel had that annoying, smug look on her face."

"Well, it's not often I know something you don't." Galadriel replied.

"That's because you were in on the whole thing," the wizard retorted.

"I'm not sure how I feel about her scheming with my son and grandson." Thranduil grumbled.

Galadriel shook her head at that comment. She never could figure out why Thranduil hated her so much.

"Anyway," Sam said, trying to break the sudden tension, "Pippin, what's going on in there?"

"I don't know." Pippin shrugged, "I've been listening to all of you."

"Don't worry, laddie, yer not missin' anything." Gimli replied from the door where he peered through the crack just wide enough for him to see what was happening, "Aragorn's just pacing."

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Aragorn's pacing came to an abrupt end as he stopped and locked gazes not with either of the culprits, but with his husband, "So all this time…you and everybody else have been outright lying to me."

Farothen gulped nervously, "We never actually lied, Ada. You never asked if…"

Aragorn's temper snapped in the midst of Farothen's statement, "Do not finish that! You may be a spoiled little elfling who gets everything he wants, but that does not give you the right to speak to me as if I'm a fool!"

Farothen was practically in tears as he stammered, "I didn't…"

"You've lied to me," Aragorn growled in a threatening voice, "You've hidden this from me for two months and you've completely disregarded my feelings and opinions!"

"What do you have against Boromir?" Farothen burst out. "I thought he was your friend! Why can't you just accept this!"

"I've got nothing against him," Aragorn said in a tone that said 'this isn't the problem and you know it', then asked, "Why did you feel you had to hide this?" This time he sounded hurt as he continued, "I could have given both of you advice as a father and as a friend. I've been in this situation, rushing into a relationship. I ended up alone and pregnant! I don't want that for you!"

"I'm not alone!" Farothen protested, "Boromir is by my side still and we'll raise our child together."

Farothen's proclamation fell on stunned silence as Legolas closed his eyes at his son's impulsive statement. Boromir winced and glanced at Aragorn worriedly, and Farothen dropped his gaze from his father's when it registered what he had said.

Aragorn's gaze at the moment actually seemed to drop the overall temperature of the room by a few degrees as he continued to stare at Farothen. Amazingly, Boromir recovered first as he turned to his husband with a look on his face that seemed to say 'are you stupid?'

"Farothen, remember that talk we had about saying things at the wrong time. I think we should have it again!"

Luckily for Boromir, Aragorn's gaze didn't leave Farothen's…otherwise the steward would have had to dive off the citadel just to get away from his king.

"Your child?" Aragorn stated, as if he hadn't understood, "You're pregnant!"

Farothen still didn't meet his father's gaze, "It…also happened in Lorien."

"Lorien!" Aragorn exploded, "How long did you wait before jumping in bed!"

Farothen, who had more than his own share of temper from both his fathers, instantly went from nervous to furious, "Longer than you and Adar did!"

"Hey! Leave me out of this!" Legolas squeaked.

Aragorn whipped around on his husband, "No! Let's not leave you out of this! You lied to me just as much as Boromir and Farothen…if not more so. I asked you outright if anything was going on between…"

"You asked Gimli outright as well!" Legolas protested. The excuse sounded weak even to his ears.

"Gimli isn't my husband!" Aragorn yelled.

Boromir chose that moment to try and break the tension once again, "Well if he was you could always introduce him as your wife…being a dwarf and all no one would know the difference."

Aragorn gave a completely unreadable glare to Boromir, but it somehow made him feel as if he might be seeing his father very soon if he didn't shut up.

"Still not the time for joking?" Boromir replied.

Aragorn nodded furiously in response.

"Right."

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"He's pregnant?" Elrond growled, turning to scowl at Elladan, who'd apparently known about the relationship before this, "Did you know about that?"

Elladan only had time to shake his head before Elrond looked around, "Who all knew about the baby?"

Faramir winced guiltily, "Well, I knew but…he and I were talking in the garden and…"

A glare from Elrond silenced him, and any other who had it in their mind to speak, before the elf turned to Thranduil, who was looking a little smug, "Did you know?"

Thranduil nodded, not the least bit intimidated by the elder Peredhil's glare, "Yes, I did know. Is there a problem?"

"It doesn't bother you that Farothen, a prince of your realm, is unwed and pregnant?"

"Should it?" Thranduil asked as if it hadn't occurred to him that an unwed grandson having a child would reflect badly on him.

"How can it not bother you?" Elrond ranted, "He's…"

"How can I condemn him when he's done nothing I, myself, haven't?" Thranduil asked, "Legolas wasn't born within the bonds of marriage either. The only difference is, I did not carry him."

A moment passed as that comment hung between them before Thranduil added meaningfully, "Your wife did."

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"You two are definitely getting married now!" Aragorn declared in a tone that clearly said 'you better not argue with me.' It was bad enough having his son's intimate relationship with Boromir thrown right in his face without having the added complication of a pregnancy. Farothen was younger than Aragorn had been during his pregnancy and at least one thing was absolutely certain: Aragorn would not allow what happened to him happen to his child.

Boromir certainly had no problem marrying Farothen again in a Gondorian ceremony to placate Aragorn…after all they were already married they just needed the formal ceremony to make them married in the eyes of Gondor. After all, not everyone there would have accepted the Elvish ceremony in Lorien as legitimate. Boromir's problem wasn't marriage, but explaining to an already furious Aragorn that they had had a wedding in Lorien. The only reply he managed to his king's statement was a syllable, "Uh…"

"Don't you dare say no!" Aragorn yelled, taking Boromir's hesitation as unwillingness, "I have no problem committing murder."

Boromir gulped. He had no doubt that Aragorn was deadly serious at the moment.

"Um…Ada…" Farothen started, trying to bail his husband out.

"And your pouting won't get you anywhere this time," Aragorn declared to Farothen without turning around.

Aragorn was obviously convinced that whatever Boromir and Farothen said at that point would only be protests. Therefore, Legolas spoke up to say what Aragorn needed to hear, "Estel…they're already married."

Aragorn whipped his head around to look at Legolas in disbelief before turning quickly back to Boromir, his gaze demanding confirmation of what Legolas was saying.

"Again, it happened in Lorien," Boromir replied without breaking his gaze from Aragorn.

Aragorn, for his part, sucked in a deep breath before turning slowly around to face Legolas. Boromir at 41 was certainly old enough to marry anyone he wanted without any parental permission, but Farothen was another matter. He was under 40 and therefore wasn't considered to have reached his majority yet by either Elvish or Numenorean custom.

"You don't think I had a right to be at my child's wedding?" Aragorn asked Legolas, "Farothen is underage and needs a parent's permission and presence at his wedding to marry…and I know he didn't get if from me."

Legolas squirmed under Aragorn's gaze knowing that there was nothing he could say to make this up to his husband. So he said the first thing that came to mind, "I…thought they made a…rather cute couple."

Legolas winced at his explanation, but it was Boromir who gave voice to his thoughts, "That's the best you can do Legolas! Honestly, pregnancy hormones don't make you quick on your feet."

"Boromir! I can handle this myself!" Aragorn snapped.

"Does this mean I can go?" Boromir asked hopefully.

"No! I'm not through with you yet."

"Right."

Knowing that Boromir's sense of honor would keep him from leaving, Aragorn focused his attention on his husband, "It wasn't your choice to decide when Farothen wed! He's my son!"

"He's my son too," Legolas replied.

"You weren't there his whole life," Aragorn snapped, "I raised him. I made his life's decisions…"

"I didn't even know he existed," Legolas interrupted, "You seem to be forgetting you never told me."

Boromir and Farothen shifted uncomfortably as Aragorn and Legolas ignored the fact that they were still present. This argument was quickly shifting from the issue of Boromir and Farothen's marriage to the still unresolved issues between Aragorn and Legolas.

Aragorn shook his head sadly at Legolas, "Is that why you did this? To get back at me for keeping him from you?"

"I don't play those games, Estel," Legolas replied starting to get angry himself, "I did what I thought was best for Farothen."

"It was best for him to whore himself to my steward!" Aragorn yelled, so angry that he didn't notice Farothen's small hurt gasp or Boromir's following low growl.

Legolas, however, did notice Boromir and Farothen's reactions and narrowed his eyes coolly at Aragorn.

"At least he didn't whore himself to a mere ranger."

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Replies to reviews…

Voldieshorts: Well, the better question to ask would be 'what's NOT wrong with us', but…Well, we're just…secretly evil. (producing curved horns and evil grin).

narel-chan: Welcome and glad you like this. Well, we like taking the ridiculous to the extreme occasionally. This story is pretty much strict slash so it was only fair that each couple be able to have children. Beyond that, we have a couple surprises left for everyone, hope you continue to enjoy the direction we take.

Nuriko-chan: Sadly, we've trained our muses not to accept bribes because we like them to remain loyal only to us. Can't risk them wandering off, you know. We model them after our…boys…after all. On another note…Why was your friend chewing on the carpet?

Dee69: Most certainly. We wouldn't dream of depriving Bori of his…assets.

princess-sunshine2003: Well, as funny as it would be to see Aragorn trying to over-power Boromir (who easily out-weighs him) enough to throw him over the edge of the Ship's Keel, it would be rather pointless. Plus, it's not the best way to win the loyalty of his subjects to kill their beloved Golden Boy.

The Great and Powerful Oz: No prob. As for witnessing Aragorn learning about the marriage…look up…you did get to. See? We were very nice to let you. No?

Ididntdoit07: Thranduil sounds like a nut huh? Well…where do you think Legolas got it?

Ceyxa: Thanks for the encouragement.

In closing, thanks to all.