DarkTaoAngel: I truly intended upon updating earlier than this, but I had no ideas, and I was also working on writing a novel! I do hope you enjoy this rather short oneshot, because it will be a while before my stories are updated!
It had been so long since the accident, and yet he still cried about it off and on. He could not shake the constant feeling of guilt, although it was all far from his fault. She was gone for good, and there was absolutely no way for him to change that. He would still mourn her, though he would let no one know and, as far as they were concerned, he had had no attachment to her life at all. He refused to weep in front of them, the old him never would have cried, let alone in public, and so he hid his tears, in hopes that they would go away for good… but they never did.
She had been taken from this world so early on, and there was no reason why she would not be here right now, but she had risked her life for him, and he had never repaid her, because now he never could. He wanted to cry out loud, to scream out her name, and to show the whole world how he felt, in hopes that someone would come to comfort him. No one ever had.
Sometimes he cried, late at night with his head pressed sharply against his pillow as he screamed, letting out all of what he was feeling. He had never cried in front of people, though crying was only human, part of him was not human, and that was the part of him that often took control.
His life had always been made up of one lie after another, with no reprieve. Everyone thought of him as someone bold, someone indestructible, who did not have any feelings to speak of, though they never met the real him, the one that cries at night, wanting someone to hold onto for support, but no one was there. All he truly ever wanted was a friend, someone that would accept him for him, all of his flaws included, and that was Pirika.
She had know the true him, as she was the one that had made him let his real self out, to cry over her wounds, and later her death. Though she had never known that he had loved her, she did know that he had cared about her.
He resisted fully the urge to cry then and there, as he thought about her, because he was in public, and he did not want to draw attention to himself. He had kept it all bottled up inside of himself, all of his emotions, and he desperately wanted nothing more than to let them all out. He knew it would be the way he could let her go, but he did not want to; he just wanted her back with him. But the other half of him, the real half, told him differently. It was time to let her go.
Ren felt a small tear well up in his eye, but he made no effort to wipe it away. It was his turn to let her know, he was not afraid anymore, and she had helped him see that showing feelings is also being human. He did not have to give up her memory, but he had to let her spirit go free, and so he did.
Because crying was only human, and human he finally was. Her spirit was free, and part of him felt that… his was free, too.
-Itsumo
DarkTaoAngel: I hope that it made sense, because even I barely understood it. Please review, and I will try to update soon, hopefully this week!