Title: Burned Bridges

Author: Bernadeen

Rated: M

Written: Spring 2003

Disclaimers: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Chapter 2

Two weeks later…

Harm returned to the office for the first time in two weeks. First there was a case on the Seahawk and then two more cases away from Washington. He suspected that the Admiral was purposely keeping him away from Mac until emotions cooled and they could discuss their misunderstanding civilly.

Harm's inbox was stacked high and he groaned as he tackled the many files awaiting his attention. Mac didn't seem to be in her office, but since he still wasn't sure what was next for them, he didn't inquire about her.

Just before noon, Mac returned from court. As she walked toward her office, she noticed that Harm was back. So now what? She had never been in a situation where she felt so unsure of how to proceed. The coward's way was to ignore their disagreement and stick to a professional demeanor. That might work for her except that Mac couldn't get Harm's words out of her mind, "I would have told you that I was ready to let go .. that I would do whatever it took so we could be together .. that I loved you .."

A week later …

It was nearing the end of the normal work day when Tiner put his head in Harm's office and told him that Lt. Singer was on the phone for him. Clearly Tiner was filing this bit of information away for later discussion.

Harm picked up the phone and identified himself.

"Commander, there's something I need to tell you. Can you meet me after work? Benzenger's .. 1800?"

Something in the Lt's voice prompted Harm to ask, "Loren, are you all right?"

"Yes, I guess so. I'll tell you about it when I see you." And with that she ended the conversation.

Harm had a bad feeling about the upcoming discussion and waited impatiently until he could leave for the designated meeting time. At 1755, Harm walked into Benzenger's, looking around for Singer. He saw her in a booth in the back. He didn't notice several members of the JAG support staff on the other side of the room, but they watched the senior attorney's progress across the room with interest.

Harm slipped into the seat across from the Lieutenant. "Loren, how are you?" he asked. She seemed subdued, almost sad.

After the merest hesitation, she met his inquiring gaze and answered, "Commander, I thought you should know before everyone else. I lost the baby .." her voice caught in her throat and she stopped to compose herself. Who would have thought that this loss would bother her so much, she thought to herself. She could see the accusation in Harm's eyes and rushed on, "I didn't do anything to cause it, Commander. It just happened. It was a little girl .. and yes, Sergei was the father. I .. I was exploring the possibility of an open adoption .. one where the natural parents .. and other family members .. and the adoptive family all are involved in the child's life ... but none of that matters now." She couldn't quite keep her eyes clear of moisture as she looked up at Harm.

Harm's voice was soft and sad, "Loren, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for telling me personally… I assume you'll be applying for reinstatement of active duty?"

"Yes, I plan to drop off the paperwork with the Admiral tomorrow, so then everyone will know that I'm no longer pregnant. I don't plan to tell anyone else any details .. it's none of their business .. "

Harm found himself asking, "Loren, do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?"

Some of her former defenses dropped into place. "No, thank you, Commander. I'm just looking forward to getting back to active duty."

Harm decided that Loren should be prepared for the office gossip she would encounter if she spent any time at JAG HQ. "Loren, you should know that there's a lot of speculation about who fathered your baby. .. Lately the leading candidate is .. me."

"You ..?" Loren was shocked.

"We were seen together and apparently part of our conversation at our last meeting here was overheard."

"But if the Admiral pursues it, it would end your career, sir."

Harm looked at Loren closely. She really seemed concerned. Just a good actress, he decided. "I told the Admiral who I suspected the father to be. He accepted my word. Everyone else seems to believe the rumors." His tone was bitter as he thought of Mac's rush to judge him.

"If anyone sees us here today, that will only add to the rumors."

"I can withstand rumors. It won't be the first time my private life has been the topic of office gossip," Harm said with a slight smile. He had accepted the rumors about him and Mac years ago. Pity they weren't true.

"I will be seeing the Admiral tomorrow about getting back to active duty. I'll tell him who the father was. You tried to help me, even though I wasn't very appreciative. I don't want your career affected by something that you didn't do."

Harm looked at Loren for a few seconds. Beneath her icy crust, there just might be a human being in there. Perhaps that's what Sergei saw. "Thank you, Loren." He cocked his head and gave her a completely natural teasing grin, "Careful, you might let people see you're human after all."

She grinned back and answered, "Couldn't have that." After a short pause, she continued more seriously, but in a friendlier tone than she usually used. "When it felt like I had no friends at JAG, Sergei was charming, thoughtful and kind. You and Sergei are more alike than I thought."

"You know, Loren, you have a chance to start over wherever you are assigned. I think I'm seeing you as you have allowed few of your colleagues to do. Don't push everyone away. The world is a lonely place if you have only your ambition."

"I'm beginning to realize that, sir."

The conversation apparently at an end, Harm offered, "Can I give you a ride somewhere?"

"Actually, sir, I would appreciate a ride to my hotel if that's not too inconvenient. I didn't want to do anything about lodging or a car until I find out where I'll be stationed. … But I don't want to impose …"

"I offered, didn't I? Let's go." Though the words were abrupt, Harm was smiling. He threw some money on the table and followed Loren through the growing evening crowd toward the door. Once again, a few members of the JAG staff watched their departure.

Separate from the original group were three officers who also watched the pair cross the room. Tracy Manetti hadn't been at JAG long enough to fully appreciate the significance of the event. She had heard that the Commander and the Colonel had been partners and friends for several years. And she had heard the rumors about the parentage of Lt. Singer's baby. In the few months of working with the Commander, she had come to respect him and couldn't believe that he would throw away his career for a fling with a junior officer, particularly one who, at least by reputation, was as prickly as a cactus.

Sturgis watched his long-time friend with a bemused expression. Could it be true, he wondered. Harm didn't always worry about the consequences of his actions, but would he be so foolish as to lay himself open to a charge of fraternization with a junior officer, especially Lt. Singer? He shook his head slightly to his own thoughts. No, there had to be some other explanation.

As these thoughts rushed through Sturgis' mind, he glanced across the table to see Mac's reaction. For an instant he saw all the hurt that Harm's apparent betrayal caused her. Then the shield dropped and all he saw was stoic Marine discipline. "Looks like the Commander has made a new friend." She stated stonily.

Unaware of the turmoil he was causing his friends, Harm guided Loren toward his Corvette and opened the door for her. She slipped into the passenger seat. "Nice car," she said with a gleam in her eyes.

"Thanks," Harm responded as he slipped behind the wheel, turned the key and the powerful engine roared to life. Singer named her hotel and they drove in silence. As they pulled up in front of the modest motel near the Interstate, Harm glanced at his watch. "Would you like some company for dinner?" he asked, indicating the family restaurant next door.

Loren looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you doing this?" she asked irritably.

"Doing what?"

"Being nice to me?"

Harm looked at her sadly. "Are you so unfamiliar with the concept of friendship that you don't recognize it when it's offered?"

"But why would you offer me friendship? I haven't exactly been friendly to you or your friends?"

"Maybe I got a glimpse of what Sergei saw and I don't want to write you off just yet."

Loren looked down at her hands and struggled with her conflicted emotions. She had fought so hard for everything she had achieved, never allowing herself any friends. She told herself that friends made her weak, made her vulnerable, because they would know too much about her. She had always protected herself from anyone getting too close.

She glanced up at Harm as he watched her closely. "I guess we both have to eat," she said ungraciously.

Harm chuckled as he pulled into a parking space in front of the restaurant and got out.

During the meal, Loren made a conscious effort to be nice. To have the Commander as a friend would be a powerful advantage to her career. And, while she attempted to hold on to her ordered thoughts directed only toward considering how this alliance could help her advancement, she felt her deepest feelings betraying her. She found Harm charming and fun. While she knew he was strictly off limits romantically, she was warmed by his attempt to know her better. And those eyes .. and that smile .. my god, he can turn any woman's knees to mush. Does he even know how devastatingly handsome he is, she wondered.

After their meal, they walked back to the hotel. Harm stopped at the entrance and said, "Loren, things don't always happen the way we would want them to, but I was advised several years ago never to look back. Good luck to you. I hope your next assignment is a positive step in your career. And if it's away from JAG HQ, keep in touch .. I mean it."

Loren smiled and said sincerely, "Thank you, Commander. I appreciate your …" she stopped, not quite knowing how to express what she hadn't defined to herself.

Harm seemed to understand, "You're welcome, Loren. Good night."

End Chapter 2