Author's Note 1: The chat line in italics is supposed to be in Russian, but I didn't want to interrupt the flow with footnotes. Valjean's chat nickname means "aging eagle" in Russian. It was supposed to have an underscore - " orel underscore nemolodoj" -, but fanfiction dot net has a retarded text editor. It also killed all the proper chat formatting.

Author's Note 2: I know script has been made illegal on fanfiction dot net, but I figure this should be all right, since it's an actual storytelling device, not the fic form.

Author's Note 3: To my wonderful (and so far sole) reviewer, Cha Cha1: This is actually based on the book "Les Miserables." I can't stand the musical.

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From orelnemolodoj to acerimmer666

21:15 orelnemolodoj: Are you there, Alex?

21:15 Auto response: The dashing, drop-dead-gorgeous bloke known as Ace Rimmer is busy saving the world. He might make it back to his keyboard at some point, perhaps even in one piece. Keep hope alive.

21:18 orelnemolodoj: …

21:18 Auto response: The dashing, drop-dead-gorgeous bloke known as Ace Rimmer is busy saving the world. He might make it back to his keyboard at some point, perhaps even in one piece. Keep hope alive.

21:21 orelnemolodoj: …

21:21 Auto response: The dashing, drop-dead-gorgeous bloke known as Ace Rimmer is busy saving the world. He might make it back to his keyboard at some point, perhaps even in one piece. Keep hope alive.

21:25 orelnemolodoj: … Please answer me.

21:25 Auto response: The dashing, drop-dead-gorgeous bloke known as Ace Rimmer is busy saving the world. He might make it back to his keyboard at some point, perhaps even in one piece. Keep hope alive.

21:30 acerimmer666: heyo

21:30 orelnemolodoj: Hi!

21:30 acerimmer666: am I late? i thought we said 9:30?

21:30 orelnemolodoj: We did. I was just keeping hope alive. :)

21:30 acerimmer666: heh.

21:31 acerimmer666: so, miss me?

21:31 orelnemolodoj: Yes. :)

21:31 acerimmer666: nice handle, btw

21:31 orelnemolodoj: What handle?

21:31 acerimmer666: headdesk

21:32 acerimmer666: you teakettle

21:32 acerimmer666: nice name.

21:32 orelnemolodoj: Oh. Thank you.

21:32 acerimmer666: been rereading Pushkin i see

21:33 orelnemolodoj: How did you know?

21:33 acerimmer666: what's tjhere to know? orel nemolodoj --> orel molodoj --> "behind rusty bars and in dampness i dwell, a young-hearted eagle brought up in a cell"

21:33 orelnemolodoj: Wow.

21:33 acerimmer666: takes a bow

21:34 orelnemolodoj: applauds and tosses a rose on stage

21:34 acerimmer666: cute

21:36 acerimmer666: well?

21:36 orelnemolodoj: Well what?

21:36 acerimmer666: you summoned me my liege?

21:37 orelnemolodoj: Listen, are you terribly busy?

21:37 acerimmer666: if you are being stupid, then yes, i'm very busy and my rate is 5 green dollars a minute.

21:37 acerimmer666: are you being stupid?

21:38 orelnemolodoj: I don't know.

21:38 acerimmer666: okay, now you're making me worried. what's going on?

21:39 orelnemolodoj: I want us to meet as soon as possible.

21:39 acerimmer666: what, before Berlin?

21:39 orelnemolodoj: Yes.

21:39 acerimmer666: you can't wait four days?

21:40 orelnemolodoj: Frankly, I'd rather not wait even four hours at this point.

21:40 acerimmer666: what the hell happened?

21:41 orelnemolodoj: I don't know.

21:41 acerimmer666: eh? come again?

21:42 orelnemolodoj: Honestly. I don't know. I need you to tell me.

21:42 acerimmer666: are you in immediate danger?

21:42 orelnemolodoj: I don't think so.

21:42 acerimmer666: fine, be mysterious. when and where?

21:44 orelnemolodoj: Remember the village in Hell's Valley that made you laugh so much?

21:44 acerimmer666: ;;;;; - ?

21:44 acerimmer666: when?

21:47 orelnemolodoj: 1976. Summer. We even took photos at the train station, remember? You couldn't even straighten out all the way you were laughing so hard.

21:47 acerimmer666: aha.

21:47 acerimmer666: heh heh. yes i remember. sort of. vaguely. i was so stoned then, i'm sort of amazed i remember anything at all about that

21:48 orelnemolodoj: What, the village, our trip or the whole summer? 8-)

21:49 acerimmer666: the whole year, compadre, the whole year. 8-F

21:53 orelnemolodoj: I could be there tomorrow at ten in the morning. As far as I recall, there's an inn across from the station, and there's a food kiosk a bit further down the hill. I'll be at the bottom of the trail that leads from the kiosk downwards. It's well-traveled, you can't miss it.

21:53 acerimmer666: no go. i'm stuck in freiburg with bucephalus in the shop. oli promised to finsih with him by midday. i'll try to wrap everything up asap, but even so i don't think i can be there before two.

21:54 orelnemolodoj: Who's Oli?

21:54 acerimmer666: a crazy mechanic with thinning infra-orange hair.

21:54 orelnemolodoj: Gotcha.

21:55 acerimmer666: where are you now anyway?

21:55 orelnemolodoj: Zurich. The Hauptbahnhof.

21:55 acerimmer666: where are you headed?

21:56: orelnemolodoj: I haven't decided yet.

21:56: acerimmer666: interesting...

21:57 acerimmer666: have to sign off now. keep a stiff upper lip, okay? i'll see you tomorrow at two. get some sun, relax, enjoy the prettiness of nature before it's all burned to a crisp.

21:57 orelnemolodoj: Is it very hot in Freiburg?

21:58 acerimmer666: no better than in Zurich i imagine. it's long passed "hot" in my opinion – we're now well into microwave oven stage. Kerala was a piece of cake compared to baden-wuerttemberg this summer.

21:58 acerimmer666: one of my texas colleagues couldn't stand it, wrapped up his report early and ran off to berlin. of course then he'd dicovered berlin was about the same level of ass-hot as the south of germany.

21:58 acerimmer666: (specifically phoned me to bitch about it)

21:59 acerimmer666: so he ran farther north to Copenhagen and called me from a pay phone or something in the airport (cell phone was dead apparently) screaming like banshee

21:59 acerimmer666: "Aaaylex, you gotta to come onup here! They got AC in this town!"

21:59 acerimmer666: 8-D

22:00 orelnemolodoj: And you refused to work with me on that global warming petition. See what social inaction does?

22:00 acerimmer666: yes, it allows me to work unihinibited at my proper job and earn enough money to rent a flat with central air in freiburg instead of traipsing off to another country.

22:00 acerimmer666: grins

22:01 acerimmer666: gotta run, they're already ringing me.

22:01 acerimmer666: why does everything have to happen at stammtisch? i swear we get more brain work done at the beer garden at night than at the actual conference.

22:01 orelnemolodoj: Must be the cooler temperatures.

22:02 acerimmer666: yeah must be.

22:02 acerimmer666: also dann

22:02 acerimmer666: ciao, "my bloody comrade."

22:02 orelnemolodoj: You mean "my mournful comrade."

22:03 acerimmer666: 8-P

22:03 acerimmer666: be seeing you.

acerimmer666 has signed off.