Disclaimer: I own nothing of King Arthur.

Chapter 3: Exploration

My fear of Adam coming back to the wall still haunted me in the days since he left. Everywhere I went I was afraid he would be there – smiling and telling me it was now my time to take my place beside him. I would never let myself do such a thing.

The night Arthur told us he was gone, I slept one more night in Tristan's room. Neither of us knew why exactly, but it was as if we were saying goodbye to the life we'd been living for the better part of a few months. I went back to my room, which was a cross the hall from his, feeling sad and like I'd just broken with something that meant a lot to me. Was it possible that I had fallen in love with him? I couldn't deny that my attraction had grown since sleeping for the first night in his arms but I had never been in love – how would I know if I was?

0-0-0

"Are you telling me that you didn't do it once?" Lancelot asked.

The Knights were sitting at their usual table in the tavern. It was not a busy night, but rowdy enough for Vanora to be away from the table, minutes at a time, giving the Knights leave to speak of more important things.

Tristan downed his ale and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "No," he rasped. "It wasn't like that."

"Oh," Galahad said, unconvinced. "So…you have the most beautiful woman in Britain, no offence Bors-"

Bors waved an uncaring hand to him and rolled his eyes.

"- probably in the world," Galahad continued, "and you didn't once feel like giving her a-"

Tristan shot him a warning look. The 'pup' of the group gulped and went back to his ale. Tristan looked around the expectant table. What business was it of theirs to know what he was doing in his rooms? Did he need to tell the Knights of his urges? Was it fair to Bellatrix to have her spoken of like a prize?

As usual, Tristan decided to stay silent about his feelings for Bella. Making it harder for the Knights to see into his real emotions. He liked it that way.

0-0-0

Sleep wouldn't come to me. It was the fifth night I'd slept in my own bed – dreaming of Tristan being by my side. I crawled out of bed and looked out of the window. The night was still young, and the tavern was still running.

I heard something break just outside my bedroom door, causing me to jump in shock.

"Fuck," came a muffled voice, I knew only too well.

I yanked open the door to find Tristan leaning against the wall with one arm, his head in the crook of his elbow and a pitcher of ale in the other. He was sodding drunk.

Staggering, he looked at me and continued onto his room. He made three steps before he staggered, grabbing onto his door handle. "Tristan," I called, running to him.

"I'm fine," he said, holding up the hand. "I don't want your help."

He was just being stubborn and he knew it. He opened the door to his room and slumped against the wall. I walked in and took his arm. "Come on," I said, pulling him to the bed. I took the pitcher from his hand only to have him push me away and taking it out of his reach. "Give me the pitcher, Tristan!" I ordered, closing the door sharply.

"It's mine, Bella," he snapped. He flopped down on the bed and pulled off his tunic, not letting go of the pitcher. I reached for it again but Tristan pulled it further out of my reach which caused me to fall on him.

"You're drunk enough," I told him. He was not even listening to me. His eyes were plastered on the cleavage that was showing from the top of my night dress. "Get your eyes away from there," I said, moving his face away from my chest.

That did it for him. Tristan put the bottle on the floor and flipped me onto the bed. "What are you-" I couldn't think anymore as he kissed me wildly. His hands pulled me under him further, which I didn't mind in the least because once he pulled my dress up to my waist I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Just so you know," he said, ripping my dress open. "I'm not drunk."

"Why you little-" Tristan smirked against my lips, knowing that I would be furious until he began massaging my breasts.

0-0-0

"I can't walk," I moaned, rolling onto Tristan's chest.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead while I closed my eyes. We'd not slept all night because we could not stop ourselves. We were sure to have kept all the knights awake last night but every time I mentioned it Tristan would make more noise around the room and smirk.

"I'm glad I reduced you to that," he muttered, closing his eyes and stroking my arm.

As I felt myself drifting off to sleep someone knocked on the door. Tristan opened one eye but did not move to open it. When they did not do away he reluctantly rose from the bed, pulling on his breeches as he went and opened the door.

"Now listen here you two," Bors said, raising a finger at Tristan. "If you start up again with that racket I will make life a misery for you both."

Tristan arched an eyebrow. "What racket?" He looked back to me and whilst rubbing his chest asked, "Did you hear any racket?"

"No," I said putting on an innocent face. "I didn't hear anyone."

"Really?" Bors asked. "So, 'Oh Tristan, please go faster, that feels so good' doesn't sound familiar?" he asked mimicking my voice.

Tristan fought heavily against the urge to laugh. I felt myself blushing and covered my face with the blanket. "This is wrong," I muttered.

Tristan winked at Bors. "Duty calls," he said, closing the door sharply.

I felt Tristan get back into bed beside me and I pulled down the blanket. "I can never show my face in public again," I said. I was so embarrassed to know that everyone had heard us.

I moved a braid from in front of his eyes and sighed. "That was a cheap way to get me into bed," I told him.

"It worked," he said whilst his eyes were closed.

I sat up, forgetting about the bed sheet and scowled. "How romantic," I muttered, scolding myself for being so easy. "Pretend to be drunk and sleep with Bella, that's the way to go about it."

Tristan opened his eyes, arching an eyebrow at my nakedness and asked, "It would've taken too long if I went any other way. Now I can have you all the time."

"Really?" I asked, getting out of the bed and looking for my clothes. "I don't think so Sir Knight." I found my ripped dress and threw it back on the floor and pulled the blanket off Tristan before wrapping it around myself. "You're going to have to do more than sleep with me to win me over."

"So it was good?" he asked, rolling onto his side, watching me calmly with his head in his palm.

I glared at him as I headed for the door. "The whole inn knows that!" I yanked the door open, seeing Lancelot and Gawain walking toward me looking like they had not slept a wink and walked across the hall to my room. "Don't look at me like that!" I snapped at the smirking men. "You're all a bunch of idiots!"

I slammed my door closed and dropped the blanket on the floor before making my way to the water bowl in the corner of the room. I couldn't believe he thought I would just sleep with him after tonight. I didn't know what to expect – not at all but I didn't realise I would be reduced to becoming his play thing.

No, I would not become that.

0-0-0

As I sat in my shop crushing herbs I heard the door open. I looked up curiously. It was him. I went back to crushing the herbs with more force than necessary once he closed the door behind him. "What do you want?" I asked, feeling that rage I had that morning build up inside me again.

"I'm leaving for a mission," he said, looking at me blankly.

Immediately the rage I felt left my body to be replaced with angst. I slowed down my crushing but did not stop. "So go," I said, not wanting him to know how I felt.

"Are you going to be angry for a while?" he snapped, his voice showing the emotion his face didn't.

"Yes." I slammed down my crushing stone and went to the back room to find a pot. When I returned Tristan took the jar from my hands and put it on the bench.

"You're not cheap just because you let me make love to you," he said softly.

I looked away from him only to have him lift my chin so I could look at him. "Go on your mission," I told him sternly. I didn't want to be angry with him but I couldn't help but take out my emotions on him. His eyes lingered on my face for mere seconds before he nodded and left the shop.

I buried my face in my hands and cried while they left. Why was I so stubborn? I heard the door opened again. I looked up, hoping it would be him but instead it was Vanora. "I know everything," she said softly, wiping my eyes with her apron. "Don't worry, dearie."

"I was so cold," I said, chocking on my tears. "Oh, my temper always gets the better of me," I said, scolding myself. "Why was I so mean to him?"

"He'll understand," Vanora said soothingly. "If he doesn't…then I'll make him."

"Oh Vanora, why do I have to be like this? I know what we did wasn't wrong…but-"

"You don't just want it to be about sex," Vanora finished.

"How do you know?" I asked softly.

Vanora smiled. "Because it was the same thing with me dear."

0-0-0

Tristan brooded during the whole mission. He spent as much time as he could away from the camp, thinking about Bella. He didn't understand how she could be so upset about what they did. She only became upset once Bors told her he'd heard everything. Maybe she was not the sort of woman to want such things known. No, she would not be this upset because of such a small thing.

Was it because she was a princess? Did she think him unworthy?

"There ain't no point in thinking about it," Bors said, putting down two dead rabbits, "and don't go chasing her either."

Tristan didn't answer him while Gawain and Dagonet skinned the rabbits. "All women are the same. They just want the chase," Bors continued.

"Course," Lancelot pitched. "It's what they live for. 'The chase.'"

0-0-0

"Men, ha?" I asked my horse, Highlander. I stroked her nose softly as she looked at me. "They just don't get it."

"Maybe you can explain it to me," said someone in my ear.

My heart clenched in my chest and I screamed in shock. A strong pair of hands gripped my shoulders, keeping me from falling into the stall. "Tristan," I gasped. "What are you trying to do? Scare me to death?"

Slowly, he released me and crossed his arms across his chest. "Are you still angry then?"

"No," I muttered, closing the door to Highlanders stall. I sighed and racked a hand through my hair. It had been a long day. I had Roman's to heal, children to check on and now I was certain some of the Knights had been wounded. "I'm just scared."

"About?"

"Us being fine for a few days and then it goes away," I admitted. "I don't want it to be like that."

"Is that all?" he asked.

"What?" I was completely dumbfounded at his reaction. "What do you mean – is that all?"

Tristan didn't laugh or show any emotion at all expect take my face in his hands and kiss me. "You are going to be the cause of many of my headaches Bella," he said, leaning his forehead against mine. "I won't leave you. And I also do not want a short 'fling'."

I smiled at him, finally feeling the ache I had been feeling for the past two days leave my body. "I love you, Tristan."

"Not as much as I love you, woman."

Meanwhile, outside of the stables, Bors stood with Vanora. "See, didn't I tell yeh' they would fix it?" he asked her, smiling like he was proud of himself.

Vanora arched an eyebrow and looked at her lover accusingly. "You know this did yeh'?" she asked, unconvinced.

"Well yeh', I did," he said, rubbing his head. "He loves her, she loves him. How long would it have taken?"

Vanora laughed and kissed his cheek. "Well, now that your home you can help me with the children. They are burning my patience." She began walking to their hut in the village. Bors followed, his shoulders slumped and his head bowed.

"I just came back from a mission," he muttered.

"And I have been doing what?" she snapped. "Resting? Looking after myself? No Bors, I've been looking after our children and you are now going to help me." She stoped just outside the door and leaned into him. "And…after they go to bed we can," she dragged her hand across his chest enticingly before stopping abruptly, "but you are tired from your mission we don't have to."

"No!" he said quickly. "I'm not that tired."

Vanora smiled. "I didn't think so."

Author Note: Sorry it's taken a while to update.