As promised - the final part.
Epilogue/Part Four –
(Lyircs are 'Because of you' by Kelly Clarkson)
I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
Isabelle Conway glared out of the car window at the passing countryside, ignoring the man seated opposite her. It wasn't right. Not only had she failed to take the good doctor into custody, she had also failed to capture the other immortal, who had murdered him. How the injured immortal had escaped she didn't know. There had only been the one way into and out of the room that she had seen and she had been between him and it. There was no way that he could have gotten past, she would have noticed him.
Glowering stormily at the young captain that her superiors had sent to escort her back she wondered if the remainder of SG-1 were to be punished for their part in the failure of their duty. They had been ordered by the joint chiefs to take Doctor Jackson into custody, and it was because of SG-1's emotional attachments that they had failed to do so. Had O'Neill been following orders he would have kept Jackson on the phone for as long as possible when he had phoned and had it tracked, saving them the time and effort it had taken to find any trace of the man afterwards. They had wasted time after they had found out where he had been as well, heading back to Cheyenne mountain instead of just going to the old hospital and laying in wait.
Snorting derisively she shook her head mutely turning her attention back to the scenery, ignoring the confused look that was thrown her way by her companion. Her failure had occurred due the interference of others. Had she been allowed to work on her own, without SG-1 in tow she could have done what they had wanted her to do and gotten them their very own living immortal to study. But they had ordered her to work with SG-1 and now they were trying to blame her for their own mistakes. She was not about to be demoted because of the actions of others and as far as preventing that was concerned, it was just a matter of the right leverage. Her brown eyes drifted to her briefcase for a moment and she allowed herself a tiny smile. If you knew what to look for, leverage was easy enough to find.
She might never be able to give them Jackson, but she could offer another immortal in his place, if they could find him.
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard,
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
Because of you
Miles stared out at the night sky, cradling a dram of whiskey in the palm of his hand, as he leaned idly on the barrier that edged the roof. The rain had finally stopped and the sky had cleared, exposing the full-moon and allowing its soft light to illuminate the city. It had been a while since he had taken the time to take in the view from his roof-top. It had been a while since he had felt the pull of the whiskey bottles he kept in his drinks cupboard, his bed or a good book normally tempting him away from such things.
He had never pretended to understand Danu and her kin, or to agree with every action they took, but there were times when he couldn't help but wonder about their motives. He had been fortunate. If what some of his elders had to say was true, only ever witnessing one of Danu's 'plans' in his long life, but it had been enough. For a goddess she seemed to rarely fully consider the effects of her actions, doing whatever she felt like, whenever she felt like it, disregarding the advice of everyone else. Not the wisest of ways to live, but Miles was hardly in any position to point out her miscalculations. At least before she hadn't gambled quite so much on one of her 'lessons'.
Miles shuddered as he downed the last of his whiskey, he had never heard of anything like it, an immortal being made mortal, it was something none of them had ever considered possible before. Now, as much as he wished it wasn't true, it was a possibility, something they would have to be wary of, especially if Morganna managed to get hold of whatever it was her mother had used. It would add a whole new urgency to their war, each of them having to fight not only to survive, but to retain their immortality. It was a twist that none of them needed.
Alastair had been made mortal. Andrew had killed Alastair. The mortals were hunting Andrew as a murderer and Miles couldn't see what the point of it all had been. Beatrice might believe that it was all about teaching her a lesson, but the truth was that it was not a good enough reason for Alastair to have died. It was not a good enough reason to remove an immortal's immortality. There was nothing that he could think of, on its own, that could be called a good enough reason.
Alastair had spent almost all of his life looking out for mortals, making sure that they would still have a world worth living in when they woke up in the morning, fighting the good fight and all that. In return, he had been used as an example and there had been no explanation as to why.
Miles shook his head grimly in disgust. In all his years he had never seen or heard of anything like it. Not even the last 'plan' had been this bad. The reasoning had at least been clear then even if it had resulted in more war and grief for everyone involved.
The witch-hunts hadn't been nice before, but this time it wouldn't be for the same reasons, mortals knew about immortality, they weren't hunting the supernatural, they were hunting dreams. There were so few mortals that considered the price that went with true immortality, of living forever. They didn't think about what it would be like to watch the world change around them, to watch the people they loved grow old and die, to out live your own children, grand-children and great-grand-children; never being able to stay in one place for too long, or to use the knowledge that you had learned. Mortals were too intent on finding a way to have what others had that they never thought of the consequences.
Miles smiled faintly remembering how he had felt when Alastair and Xena had told him about immortality, offering up examples of things they'd been alive to see and their healing capabilities. He had called them heretics until Alastair had stabbed him in the stomach and he had watched his own body heal, just like theirs had not long before. Alastair had always looked out for him, making sure that he had a teacher who he could work with and that he understood just what was hiding beneath the surface of the world they lived in. The elder Celt had shown him just what it meant to be an immortal and had been a great friend to him, showing his stubborn protective streak time and time again.
Miles snorted rolling his empty glass around in his hand. From the moment Alastair had mentioned that Andrew knew that Beatrice was in town, he'd known what would happen. Alastair was never one to let someone down, no matter what they thought of him, he always did the good thing, the right thing. Beatrice would have died if she'd been left to face Andrew, Alastair had done the only thing he could think of to save the young woman's life, though Miles had a feeling that Alastair had had another reason as well, but he couldn't put his finger on what exactly. He hated that his friend had done it, but at the same time he knew that had it been him in the same situation he would have done the same. He just wished that there had been another way that would have allowed both of them to live.
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
Andrew cursed under his breath as he trudged through the muck of Colorado Springs' sewers, his nose wrinkled in disgust. If only those damn mortals hadn't interfered he would not have had to take such distasteful measures to hide himself from sight. As it stood there were numerous calls for his capture being sent out to their pitiful law keepers, who would fail, as they always did, to capture him. Mortals were such fools to think that immortals weren't any different from them 'where it mattered'; they always assumed that you could capture an immortal as easily as any mortal. They did not have the sense to realise that after centuries of practice it became very easy to evade hunters.
The girl however, could very well prove to be something of an annoyance, especially now that she would have the mistakes of the mortals to work from, it wouldn't take her long to figure out just where he was hiding himself. It meant that he would have to find a way out, giving up his chance to get his own back on the damned mortal who had dared shoot him. Fingering the hole in his shirt he gritted his teeth, allowing himself to imagine all the different ways he could punish the man, some much more painful than others. One day he would see to it that the man learned his lesson and for once he would let the man live, just so as to further the lesson, he could think of numerous ways where allowing the obstinate fool to live would be much more enjoyable. After all if the lesson ended in death, it was sure to be short and a mortal who thought himself worthy of injuring an immortal deserved a long and painful lesson, which would stand as an example to others like him.
Andrew grinned, continuing on his way through the sewer, running a hand along the damp wall, enjoying the places that his mind was taking him. One day he would return, and teach that mortal his lesson.
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
Beatrice pulled her knees up to her chest, forcing herself as tightly into the corner as she could, burying her head in her knees so that she wouldn't have to look at the blade laid out on the sofa beside her. It hurt more than she had ever thought possible. She had never expected to get so close to anyone unless she wanted to, but her arrogance had always coloured her opinion of herself. She would give anything to take it all back, to prevent the events of the last few days from ever coming to pass, to be back in that café in Scotland, to have made a different choice. She had never really considered what she had said, always berating those who didn't see the world the same way she did, even those that she loved. She had been right in what she had said to Ambrose, but that was of little comfort to her. It was one thing to say something in a moment of anger, another to see it come true. Ambrose had never suffered a loss at Andrew's hands, until now and it was the worse kind of loss. If it hadn't been for her, Alastair would never have gone, would never have died. If she hadn't made a stupid thoughtless vow over her friend's grave ignoring Alastair's guidance all those years ago, none of it would have happened. If she hadn't made that vow all others who faced Andrew wouldn't be doomed to fail.
Swallowing hard against the lump in her throat Bea took a deep breath lowering her knees slowly so that she could reach out to pull the blade onto her lap. Alastair had known all along what would happen if he went to face Andrew and so had Miles, but she hadn't believed it herself. From the moment he had stepped into the room she had felt it, but her pride had refused to accept it. It was one thing to have an immortal hand you his weapon before going to do what he felt was necessary to protect you from your own mistakes, it was another to have a mortal do it. The truth of it was, she couldn't face the idea that Alastair had felt her so incapable of doing what she had set out to do that he would give his life to protect her from the consequences.
Sniffing she ran a finger over the blade, tracing the engravings absently while her other hand drifted to her stomach again. It had always been so easy before to ignore what her elders told her, to lie to herself about it all, deny that her pride was such a huge fault that it often blinded her to the truth. Now she was finally beginning to see what it was they had been trying to tell her. It was her fault that Alastair was dead. There had been other options, other ways that she could have been safe from Andrew, other ways it could have all ended. The whole thing had been a lesson to her and she hated that it had been necessary, that she was responsible for something that she could never have wanted to happen. It wasn't fair that Alastair had had to die to finally get through to her. There had been so much that she had wanted to tell him, so much which had been needed to be said, which was now left to her to deal with.
Wiping her face roughly with her hands she lent sideways, reaching for Miles's phone, determined to learn from what had happened, because to do anything else would be to make Alastair's death pointless.
I can not cry
Because I know that's a weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, everyday of my life
Jack O'Neill stared blankly at the table in front of him, waiting for the general to finish on the phone. It had been a long day, one of the longest of his life and he wanted it badly to be over.
Glancing across the table he noted the state of his remaining of his team, Teal'c was unreadable as always, while Carter seemed to still be in shock. The only thing on their side was the fact that Conway had been recalled to the pentagon and was not going to have her say in the debriefing. They didn't need to hear the NID agent's opinions about what had gone down, for a third time. She had made her opinion clear on the way back to the mountain before she had been pushed into her own vehicle and had driven away, until the next time the NID felt the SGC needed another reminder that it wasn't just off-world enemies they had to deal with.
The sound of the door through from Hammond's office opening turned O'Neill's attention back to the moment and the fact that he still had to give his report.
"As you were people. I realise this is a difficult time for you all, but the president expects a full report of what happened as soon as possible."
Jack watched Carter duck her head at the words while Teal'c merely inclined his head in mute understanding. The sooner they gave their report the sooner they could take the General up on his offer of a week's downtime to come to terms with their loss. Jack snorted faintly at the typically military allowance, of course soldiers should be able to bounce back from the loss of a comrade, after all that was what they were trained to do.
"Well sir, there's not really that much to tell."
Hammond frowned at his second in command, "Be that as it may, colonel, I still need to hear your report."
Jack gritted his teeth, taking a deep breath, allowing the familiar detachment to take over. "Of course sir. When we reached the building I ordered the entrances covered before myself, Major Carter, Teal'c and Colonel Conway entered the building. We made our way through the building, which was pretty much the same as any typical abandoned building, until Teal'c heard the sound of fighting coming from a stairwell that led down to the floor below us.
Following the sound we descended the stairs and made our way through the corridors until we came to the door of an observation room from which the sounds appeared to be emanating. Upon entering the room we found that we had in fact entered the wrong room and Doctor Jackson was fighting another man is the isolation room that we could see through the glass.
I then led my team and Colonel Conway into the isolation room it's self. Upon entering I was forced to shoot the man that Doctor Jackson was fighting to prevent him from injuring Jackson any further. Unfortunately Doctor Jackson had already been fatally wounded and we were unable to help him." Jack finished, his gaze locked on the table in front of him.
Hammond sighed quietly hating what he was expected to do. "Doctor Jackson was immortal colonel."
Jack gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to just walk out, knowing that by giving the report himself he was saving Carter and Teal'c from the necessary, all they would have to do was agree with his statement. "Doctor Jackson had previously mentioned feeling that he was no longer, immortal, though I can't explain how a person can stop being immortal, sir."
Hammond nodded slowly. "What about Doctor Jackson's body and the man you shot?"
Jack flinched clenching his fists. "Colonel Conway requested that an APD be put out on the man, but as yet he hasn't been found."
Hammond nodded slowly, hesitating before pressing O'Neill again. "Doctor Jackson's body?"
Jack bowed his head, "He," ...the fine powder run through his fingers creating a small pile on the concrete floor… "god, he just, he turned to dust. There is no body."
Sam rested a hand on Daniel's still shoulder, tears running down her cheeks, as she knelt by O'Neill, only to jerk back as she felt the flesh under her hand dissolve, her blue eyes widening in horror. Jack watched mutely as his friend's body turned to dust, coating him in a fine layer of dust and creating a small heap of grey powder on the room's concrete floor, the only thing left of their friend.
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
Sam buried her head in her hands as she sagged backwards onto the locker room bench. None of it seemed real, least of all the fact that Daniel was gone and he wasn't coming back. He had cheated death so many times before, there had always been a hope left for them, but this time there was just emptiness where that hope had once been. Sam snorted weakly into her knees remembering the last time she had heard someone say that, though no one, not even the colonel knew she had overheard their conversation. Daniel had lost so much when he had lost Sha're and the hope of ever getting her back, of ever saving her from the living hell she had endured as a host to a Goa'uld. Somehow he had found a way to go on, a way to deal with losing that hope that had kept him going for three years. Sam doubted that she would be able to get over losing him so easily, not after everything that had happened, not after how hard they had fought to keep him. It wasn't fair.
Sam ignored her friend as she sat carefully on the bench next to her, placing a gentle supportive hand on her shoulder. She didn't want to be comforted, she wanted Daniel to be alive.
"Sam"
"I'm ok Janet."
The petite doctor frowned shaking her head minutely. "No you're not."
Sam bit her lip hard, raising her head slightly to glance sideways. "I'm fine, Daniel's the one who died, I didn't even get hurt."
Janet smiled faintly. "It's ok to be angry and it's ok to grieve."
Sam shook her head in silent denial.
"Sam, honey, Daniel's gone, and he's not coming back, not this time."
Sam ducked her head again, desperately fighting against the threatening tears. "That's what makes this all so hard Janet. He wasn't supposed to be able to die. He shouldn't be gone."
"I know."
"How can you? I don't even really know how I feel. It's just, all too much."
Janet winced nodding mutely in agreement. "We are all going to miss him Sam, but we have to let him go and get on with our lives. Daniel wouldn't want us to give up just because he's gone, he would want us to keep going.
I know how hard it is to believe that he is gone because it's just as hard for me and everyone else. You aren't alone in this Sam."
Sam smiled faintly through her tears leaning sideways to hug her friend gently before pulling away to wipe her cheeks. "Thank you."
Janet smiled softly. "You're welcome. If you need anything."
Sam nodded, "I know where you are."
Janet nodded, giving her friend's shoulder one final squeeze before leaving her to finish getting ready to go home.
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
Epona shuddered minutely, ignoring her mother's presence as she sat solemnly staring at the empty glass in front of her. It was one thing to have seen what could happen if her mother's plan had gone the way she had seen it going, another to have the evidence in front of her. She was still waiting for it all to begin making sense. She had always expected to die with him. She had never considered the possibility of it not happening that way. It had been a comfort that she wouldn't have to live a life with that empty space where he used to be. It was different when one of her favoured mortals died, she always grieved to loose them, but Alastair was different. He wasn't just some mortal who had gained her blessing. He was her chosen. They were, they had been connected in a deeper sense than any mortal could understand. Belisama was the only one who could understand just what she was feeling, Danu had never had as deep a connection with her chosen, had forgotten that the connection deepened over the years, solidified to the point that they could 'feel' each other. Now, suddenly the feelings she had always been aware of on the edge of her consciousness were gone, leaving behind a faint trace of the last few emotions that had touched her, angst, grief and regret.
Reaching forward Epona carded her fingers through her sister's hair, continuing to ignore their mother as she offered her sister what comfort she had the strength to give. It had been a trying few days, and she didn't feel up to facing whatever it was their mother had come to say, nothing would be good enough. Nothing would explain Danu's actions to her daughters, or why she had felt the need to cause them such a loss.
"It was necessary." Danu gently placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder, her black eyes resting on her other daughter as she did so. "You will both understand in time."
Belisama shook her head mutely, turning her pale green eyes up to meet her mother's gaze. "You're wrong, it wasn't necessary and we'll never understand."
Danu sighed shaking her head. "Once you've gotten past your grief you'll see differently. I have never done anything without good reason, and this was no different."
Epona sniffed shaking her head slowly, turning away from her mother. "What good reason?"
Danu glared at her daughter, not believing that the girl could still be so defiant. "You'll see soon enough."
Belisama winced glancing once more towards the glass before standing and pulling Epona with her, allowing her sister to lean against her as they walked out of the room leaving their mother alone. It was one thing to have to deal with what their mother had done, it was another to face the fact that their mother didn't see what she had done wrong.
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because you
Because you
Because of you I am afraid
Janet shuddered faintly as she dropped into her chair, finally allowing herself to give in to her emotions, thankful for the privacy of her office. For the second time in less than a month she was facing the death of one of her dearest friends and this time he wasn't there to comfort her. This time Daniel wasn't going to come back.
She could still see his still body lying so completely still on the gurney in the infirmary, his skin tinged blue with death, blood congealing on his skin around the hole left by the bullet from Simmons' gun. She had thought he was dead then, but he hadn't been. Not for long at least.
That time she had come into her office to cry, only to be comforted by the very man she had been grieving.
This time, as much as she wished it wasn't true, he wouldn't be coming. The report had been very clear on that much, Daniel's body had turned to dust, there was nothing left of him for them to bury, or to hold any hope of him coming back to them as he always had before. It was over and they had to deal with it.
Janet sighed heavily, resting her head in her hands. She was going to have to tell Cassie that her 'uncle' Daniel was dead and that would mean hearing her own questions spoken out loud. Daniel had built too much of a reputation for himself. Everyone expected him to comeback because he always had before and it made it all the harder to bear. Those joking comparisons between Daniel Jackson and a cat where finally proving all too realistic. After all even a cat only had nine lives. Once that final ninth life was over, that was it. No more. Finite.
"Doctor Fraiser"
Janet's head jerked upright and she found herself staring into his solemn brown eyes. "Teal'c?"
The big man inclined his head slightly, stepping into her office, closing the door quietly behind himself.
"What are you doing here?"
"Doctor Warner informed me that you had not yet left for home. I thought I could perhaps be of some assistance."
Janet blinked frowning faintly. "Teal'c?"
"You have given others comfort for the loss of Daniel Jackson, but you have not received any yourself."
"You guys were like family to Daniel."
"As were you."
Janet smiled ducking her head faintly. "Teal'c, I..."
Teal'c gently rested a hand on her shoulder. "You need not thank me, I am merely doing as any friend would."
Janet blushed, wiping her tears away hurriedly before straightening and brushing idly at her clothes. "I should head home, tell Cassie."
Teal'c tightened his grip on Janet's shoulder faintly preventing her from leaving. "You need not do this alone."
Janet hesitated smiled sadly. "Thank you Teal'c, it means a lot, but I think, I need to do this with Cassie."
Teal'c inclined his head. "I understand, but should you need aid…"
Janet nodded resting a hand on Teal'c's. "I know who to ask."
Teal'c smiled faintly. "Indeed."
"If you need anything…"
Teal'c's mouth quirked faintly. "I also know who to ask. I will be fine Doctor Fraiser."
Janet nodded in understanding. "So will I, eventually."
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
George Hammond stepped calmly into the gate room, his pale blue eyes fixing on the open wormhole waiting patiently for his old friend to step through, hoping that for once he would be alone. Things were bad enough without the presence of some arrogant Tok'ra who would demand explanation after explanation as to how it was that the immortal they had left in the care of the Tauri had ended up dead. Jacob at least would take what they had to say at face value, without feeling the need to question everyone involved.
"George?" Jacob Carter stepped off the end of the metal ramp leading from the Stargate, examining his friend's face carefully.
"You came alone?"
Jacob nodded. "Yeah, as soon as I got your message, what's going on?"
George sighed faintly shaking his head. "Nothing good Jake."
"Daniel's dead."
Jacob spun to face his daughter, his brown eyes scanning her features before turning back to Hammond. "George?"
"It's the truth."
Jacob closed his eyes ducking his head and silently releasing the control of his body to his symbiot Selmak. "How did this occur?"
Sam flinched faintly. "Daniel was killed by another immortal. He, his body turned to dust."
"I am sorry."
Sam smiled faintly, "Thank you."
Jacob took back control moving over to take his daughter into his arms gently hugging her, before pulling back to glance back towards his old friend. "I hate to ask this George, but I'm going to need a full report to take back with me."
"I understand, but until then you're welcome to remain on Earth for as long as you like."
Jacob nodded his thanks, recognising the undercurrent to George's words, unconsciously gripping his daughter's shoulder harder, she had just lost one of her closest friends, most likely seeing it happen and she needed some reassurance. "How about we head down to the commissary for some food?"
Sam smiled for a moment, nodding as she took a deep breath, still clearly fighting against her emotions. "Sure."
Hammond nodded faintly to his friend, watching silently as father and daughter left, knowing that two members of SG-1 would be ok, the final member, he couldn't be so sure.
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you
Jack leant back in his seat on his roof deck absently playing with the beer in his hands, his mind on other times. It felt like more than a week had passed since he had sat discussing the night sky with his friend. It had barely been a few days, long enough for his whole world to have changed but no where near long enough for that night's events to not still be fresh in his mind.
Jack shuddered minutely in the cold night air, idly wondering if he should have seen it coming. After all they had finally been coming to terms with Daniel's 'hidden depths', accepting him for who he was, after so much had happened in the weeks before. Things had settled down, there had been no new surprises, no new revelations, things had been almost, normal and then Daniel had claimed that he had lost his immortality, and Jack had told him not to be so stupid. After everything that had happened, he had ignored his friend. Despite Daniel's behaviour he hadn't believed him. He hadn't wanted anything to disturb the calm that had just started to settle into their lives again.
Jack snorted draining his bottle and reaching for another, flicking the cap off into his garden not caring where it landed. One day soon it was going to get too much, and he didn't want to think about what would happen then, he had been to that place once before, just after Charlie had died, and it hadn't been pretty. Only that time there had been someone there to show him just where he was going, and how stupid he was being.
Shaking his head Jack grinned, toasting the sky with his beer while simultaneously dosing himself with amber liquid. It was ironic really that the death of the person who had stopped him last time was the opener to his second journey along that particular path. Jack shook his head mutely, pushing back those thoughts to the dark corner of his mind that they belonged, knowing that he had to stay strong, for just a little while longer.
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Author's notes – many thanks again to the wondeful Tomolas, any mistakes in the above are my own - and so ends Equilibrium – part 'four' of my series – the first part of the second trilogy – am starting the next part – Ties that bind – but it may be a little while – though a little feedback might help…feed the muses and all that! Anyhow thanks for reading – if there's anyone left – to honest I am starting to wonder….