"Birthday Present" by Redcandle17
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and elements from the Harry Potter series belong to J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.
"Happy Birthday to me," Angelina muttered miserably. She grabbed the half-empty –and therefore half full – bottle of wine off her desk and purposefully strode out of her office, swaying only a little. She marched to the elevator and impatiently tapped the up button as she waited for it to arrive. She realized her purse was still on the floor where she'd thrown it that morning. It didn't matter; she had her wand in her pocket, she didn't need anything else.
The elevator door opened and Angelina entered without looking at the other occupant. She was going to show Fred Weasley he couldn't dump Angelina Johnson like a silly little Hufflepuff. It was best birthday present she could think of getting herself. She was debating whether to curse him with impotency or use that charming jelly brain jinx when she was rudely interrupted.
"I said hello."
Angelina stared at the speaker for a full five seconds before identifying him as Montague, her former rival Quidditch captain. She knew he worked in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and she'd seen him around the Ministry a few times, but they hadn't talked since leaving Hogwarts.
Montague glanced at the bottle in her hands pointedly then raised an eyebrow. "Problems, Johnson?"
Angelina deliberately took a swing from the bottle before replying to him. Yes, there were problems. Her boyfriend had broken up with her only two days ago and she was sure he'd been having an affair with the silly Hufflepuff who worked in his shop anyway. It was her nineteenth birthday and no one had owled her any presents or floo-ed her to say happy birthday. At least her boss was nice enough to give her a bottle of decent wine. Angelina cuddled the bottle against her chest. "Mind your own business."
"The Department of Magical Games and Sports is dead these days, so it must be personal. Is it Weasley?"
Angelina decided she didn't care why Montague was prying into her life. "I'm going to kill him," she announced.
Montague smirked at her. "Can I watch?"
Angelina didn't reply. She exited the elevator and sprinted outside the building, intent on apparating to the scene of Fred Weasley's eminent murder.
She was usually good with all forms of magical transportation, but she ended up falling over when she appeared in Diagon Alley. Blaming it on the wine, Angelina picked herself up off the ground and looked around. Except for the lamp posts, the street was dark. The only glimmer of light came from the only store still open: Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.
Montague apparated practically on top her, knocking her down again.
Angelina glared at him and half-heartedly tried to hit him with the heavy wine bottle.
Ignoring the attempted assault, Montague helped Angelina to her feet. "The Killing Curse is too good for Weasley. I recommend some barbaric muggle form of murder. Knives, perhaps?"
"You're supposed to try to stop me."
"Why would I do that? I'd help you, but I'd rather not see the inside of a cell at Azkaban. I'll be happy to watch though."
"Slytherin," Angelina muttered.
Montague laughed.
"What does that evil laugh mean?"
Montague put his arm around Angelina's waist to steady her as they walked. "It's not me plotting murder, my noble Gryffindor."
"He deserves it," Angelina protested. "He broke up with me right before my birthday."
"Happy Birthday."
"No one's sent me any gifts all day."
"The Ministry has suspended all deliveries to the building since that cursed bouquet was delivered to someone in the Department of International Magical Cooperation a couple of days ago."
There could be presents waiting for her at home. Angelina stopped, torn between wanting to make Fred suffer and wanting to enjoy her birthday.
"Tragic, isn't it? No one knows what You-Know-Who could possibly want with him," Montague said.
Angelina was puzzled at this apparent non-sequitur until she glanced at the store next to them. Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor was boarded shut, as it had been since its owner's abduction.
"Maybe He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named likes ice cream just as much as the rest of us." Angelina walked a few steps before stopping again. "I don't think I'm going to kill Fred tonight," she announced.
"I'm disappointed, but I do have a suggestion on how to get your revenge."
"What?"
Montague wrapped his other arm around her as well, pulling her close enough to kiss. "He'd be furious if you slept with me."
"We're not dating anymore, why would he care?"
"He'll care because it's me. It's perfect, Johnson, and you won't go to Azkaban for it."
The effects of the wine was beginning to dissipate. "How selfless of you. I'm sure the fact that you hate him has nothing to do with it." Nevertheless, Angelina made no move to free herself from Montague's embrace. It wasn't like she'd never entertained a sexual fantasy or two about him. And it would greatly perturb Fred.
"All right," Angelina said. She dug out her wand and prepared to apparate them both to her apartment. "But you have to wait 'til I open my birthday presents."
"Open mine first."
End