Time for more!
As Cloud's cellphone floats down the lake he gets many calls (Shouldn't it short circuit or explode or something?). "It's me Reeve. How's work going? I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Lizard!" "Long time, no see! It's Yuffie! I scored big on the materia I found at a place called Fort Condor! Anyways, all the kids from Wutai have disappeared! All there parents think that I kidnapped them! Help me!" "Can you hear me now? Good!" the phone lands in at the bottom of the lake. "I never thought badly of you. You came here to see me. That's plenty right ther-" "Your phone has too much water in it" a voice cuts Aeris off and it stops glowing.
At Midgar, the kids are standing in a circle around a weird looking statue with Yazoo and Loz next to it. A bunch of adults are complaining as this happens. "That kid just kicked me in the face!" "Gimme back my wallet!" "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" a bunch of people are shouting at them. Yazoo gets annoyed and puts his hand in front of them and the crazy Barney singing monsters jump out and attack. People are trying to get the kids and run away, but they just haven't been to the gym much, now have they? Tifa looks through the crowd, people bumping into her and staring at her chest. She spots Denzel and runs over to him. As she runs over to him, screaming "Denzel!" a man is being chased by a giant apple with a knife. "Denzel" she grabs his shoulders and tries to shake him out of it. He looks up at her and then back down. On the other side of the statue, Loz and Yazoo pull at the chains on it. "What're you doing?" Reno asks. They both turn around to find Rude and Reno behind them along with the Cops theme song playing.
"Mother's in there, right?" Yazoo asks. "Why do you say that? You think we put bodies in there?" Rude asks. "This...what is it? Memorial statue? Shinra's the one who made it" Loz looks up at the hunk of metal. "Wow, you used your head, didn't you?" Reno mocks. "Stop being mean to me!" Loz stomps his foot. "But you're off-base! You gotta have a brain to know where it is!" Rude points. "We don't know either, yo" Reno laughs, but then looks back at Rude angrily. "What's this? You don't have faith in us, huh?" Yazoo steps forward. Reno gets upset and steps forward, but he looks back at Rude, who's straightening his tie nervously and fake coughing. He keeps looking back and forth between them a few times before charging at them with his nightstick. -Where ever Kadaj and the dude are- "And that's how babies are born" the dude finishes. "Wow, I didn't think it was that way" Kadaj looks to the side. "Hey, Kadaj" the dude says. "Tell me one thing" the dude asks. "Just one thing, you'll spoil the ending if you ask more" Kadaj answers. "What flavor is the cake?" the dude asks in the kid voice again. "Vanilla ice cream" Kadaj smiles.
"Will you save me a slice?" the dude asks. "No, and just for that, I'm gonna end this" Kadaj lifts his hands in the air, creating magic with the materia in his arm. He turns around and shoots it into the sky. Clouds start to gather and lighting strikes as Bahamut flies down from the skies (Can't they keep him in one single style?). A guy looks up as the other people are running, even though nothing's chasing them. Bahamut flies down and kicks the guy in the face. Tifa is still trying to shake Denzel out of the trance and is almost killed by a monster, but Bahamut steps on it. "Ewww, I got something stuck on my shoe!" he rubs his foot against a random building. After cleaning most of it off, Bahamut jumps on the statue and takes out a giant shovel and pail. "Hehehehe, this is fun" he laughs as he digs the shovel into the statue and digs the metal out. Reno is still charging at the silver haired two, but stops and swings his nightstick and hits Rude in the face.
"This is..." Reno starts. "It's no use" Rude cuts in, being the rude person he is. Reno runs off, almost leaving Rude behind, but he catches up. Yazoo and Loz laugh at them and chase after them. Besides seeing Reno run like an idiot, he stops and picks up a kid. The kid tries to fight, but Reno gets him away before Loz can punch the Dual Hound into him. Bahamut gets tired a shoveling and he throws the items away. -At a random beach- "I wish we had a shovel and pail to make a giant sandcastle" a little girl helps build her brother's castle. The giant items fall right on them and squashes them. Bahamut's teeth start to glow as it flies to the sky. "That's the power of new Revolving gum! Keeping your mouth and teeth fresh. No matter what!" a blonde woman with a packet of gum holds it up a few feet away from the statue, but she gets eaten by a monster. "Is it coming?" Reno runs with the kid. "I don't want to look!" Rude answers, running up to Reno with two other kids.
Bahamut blasts a blue fireball at the statue as Tifa holds Denzel tighter. As debris flies along with litter and clothes, Rude and Reno are blasted away while Yazoo and Loz are boosted by the explosion. They hit the ground hard before noticing the kids got up and left for an arcade. Yazoo and Loz walk up right behind them. "Isn't this fun?" Yazoo laughs. "Not at all, yo!" Reno shouts as they both get up and kick them. Just because of one little question, they start to fight like ninjas and the song Kung Fu Fighting is playing in the background. Yazoo kicks Reno in the face, but he gets back up and tries to hit him with his nightstick. "You guys are really stubborn, yo!" Reno yells as Yazoo jumps onto a building. "I told you, if you just give Mother back, then we would end this. But, noooooo, you just wanted to fight us!" Yazoo smirks. Reno runs up and climbs the building he's on and tries to hit him again. Rude is pushing hands to hands with Loz. "You guys..." Rude starts. "What're you planning to do with Jenova's head?" Rude asks as Loz pushes him backwards. He comes back up and headbutts Loz in the forehead.
Loz still holds on as Rude arches back. "Flexible" he says. Loz thows him as Reno still kung fu fights with Yazoo. "This Reunion or whatever, are you serious?" Reno asks after missing Yazoo with his nightsitck. "We just want to see Mother" Yazoo dodges his blows and kicks him to a building. Rude is thrown to the ground near the building Reno was thrown at. "She's our mother, but she will decide everything now" Loz walks over to Rude as he stands up. "So where's Mother?" Loz stops a few feet away. Rude is about to attack, but a building window breaks on his head along with Reno falling on top of him and knocking off his glasses. Reno gets up and steps on his glasses, breaking them. He looks down and sees this and looks over to Rude. He gasps, the city gasps, the whole world gasps, as they see what Rude really looks like. Bum Bum Buuuuuuuum! "Those were my favorite and last glasses" Rude picks them up and puts them in his pocket as he stands up.
"You keep calling that hideous thing Mother when it's just Jenova's head" Reno brushes himself off. "Hey!" Loz yells. "Don't call Mother that!" Yazoo snaps. "I can't forgive that!" Loz whines. Reno continues to brush himself off as Rude ties a bandana above his eyes. "Sorry..." he says. "That's right...Wait, why are we apologizing!" Reno turns to Rude. "I'm just trying to be nice" Rude shurgs. "Your name is Rude! You're supposed to rude!" Reno points out. "I have a polite side" Rude looks to the side. "You should say something about that head!" Reno yells. "Um, yo mama so fat, she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out" Rude looks at them. Yazoo gasps and Loz starts to cry. "I've got an idea about this" Reno smirks.