Chapter Eighteen: Lose Yourself

Author's note: For Ange, whose fault it isn't. Be careful what you wish for.

"You're serious?" asked Haley in amazement.

"Haley, you're my sister," said Brooke, rolling her eyes.

"I know that. But I spent a pretty long time going out of my way to make your life hell," countered Haley.

"Things change. So you'll come?" asked Brooke.

"Of course," whispered Haley, leaning in to hug her new roommate.

Both boys were enlisted to help move Haley from her old house next to Nathan's to Brooke's apartment.

"So you want to explain to me again why you're doing this?" asked Nathan, panting heavily as he dropped a box in Haley's new bedroom.

"Because. I don't like my house. And we're friends now," said Haley.

"Oh, now you like my suggestions?" teased Nathan, coming a step closer.

"Yes, you're a genius. Get over it," advised Haley, seductively walking toward him.

He smiled as she leaned up and gently pressed his lips onto hers. Eagerly he deepened the kiss, pressing open her lips with his tongue and winding his arms around her body.

Haley sprang away when she felt a pair of eyes on her, staring intently. She looked guiltily as Lucas stood in the doorway, watching them kiss.

"Sorry, just taking a break," she excused herself. Lucas stared at Nathan while Nathan possessively hooked an arm around Haley's slim waist.

"Sure," said Lucas.

"Come on, we'll go get more boxes," said Haley, taking Nathan's wrist and neatly giving it back to him.

Her discomfort rapidly growing, Haley fled from the room to join Brooke. Nathan remained, Lucas' smoldering gaze still upon him.

"Have a problem with me?" asked Nathan, folding his muscular arms.

"If you're trying to make me jealous…" began Lucas.

"I'm not with Haley because of anything to do with you," laughed Nathan. "Just like you're with Brooke without having anything to do with me."

"You're not getting my life. You're never going to have it," warned Lucas. Nathan's jaw tightened in anger.

"I'm not you. I'll never be you. I'll be better than you," said Nathan. He uncrossed his arms and clenched his fists.

"Luke!" cried out Brooke, as he made a move to charge Nathan. He stopped and looked back at her.

"Hey," he said weakly.

"The doctor said you had to take it easy," she reminded him. Her brown eyes swiveled between the pair of them.

"Yeah Luke, take it easy," taunted Nathan. Her eyes landed back on him and he nervously unclenched his fists.

"Nathan, give us a minute," said Brooke. He compiled easily and left the room.

"Brooke…"

"What just happened?" she demanded, turning on him.

"Nothing. We were just talking," said Lucas, shrugging.

"Yeah, because you guys are such great friends now," snapped Brooke.

"Like you and Haley," muttered Lucas.

"Haley's my sister."

"Yeah, it really seemed like it when she went out of her way daily to make your life a living hell," said Lucas.

"Living hell is an exaggeration. And it's not like you were entirely blameless," she said angrily.

"What's up with you?"

"With me? Nothing! You know I got a call from Mom today," said Brooke, looking upwards into Lucas' ice blue eyes. "She wants me to move out there."

"Are you going to go?" asked Lucas emotionlessly. Brooke rolled her eyes and stalked out. She'd barely reached the main room when Lucas' footsteps had followed her.

"I don't want you to go," he said simply. She flipped her hair and looked over her shoulder at him. "I love you."

"You too," she whispered, looking suddenly torn.

XxxxxxX

"You know, I miss having you next door," said Nathan, as he and Haley rode together to school the next day.

"Yeah," she said, smiling across at him.

"How's the emancipation thing going?" he asked.

"Fine. I have a meeting with a lawyer. I have a good case, there won't be a problem," said Haley listlessly.

They fell silent as Haley's car drove into the school parking lot and she parked in the spot universally and wordlessly reserved for her.

After quickly kissing each other goodbye they parted ways, each off to their respective classes.

"Hey Nate, can I talk to you for a sec?" asked Brooke nervously, much later in the day. He nodded, not seeing Haley, who'd just appeared at the end of the hallway.

She stared in shock as the two disappeared into an empty classroom together. Eyeing the almost empty hallway, she silently walked toward

The two spoke as if unobserved. Haley couldn't hear them but she could see their expressions-Nathan looking hurt, Brooke looking determined, both looking furtive. She forced herself not to speak out when Brooke leaned up and gently kissed Nathan, brushing her lips on his. Haley didn't wait to see what the outcome was. She ran.

XxxxxxX

The door of their now shared apartment banged open loudly as Haley ran inside the apartment. She slammed it shut again and leaned against it, panting heavily.

She knew then that she'd screwed up. That it had been a mistake to let herself care for Nathan, to let him in as she'd never let Lucas. She'd always known she would end up getting hurt. Lucas had known too. He'd tried to warn her.

Haley blindly made her way to Brooke's bedroom. Her eyes, adjusting slowly to the light, dimly noticed the shambles that Brooke's usually immaculate room was in.

"She's going, isn't she," said Lucas dully. Haley turned around slowly.

"Luke…"

"She is. She's going. I'm losing her. I can't lose her, Haley," said Lucas. Haley walked toward him and comfortingly cupped his cheek in her hand.

"You won't. Brooke loves you. You love her," she said soothingly.

"Not like I loved you," said Lucas. Part of him didn't even seem to realize she was in the room. Haley drifted back to the unforgettable day on the fence in sixth grade.

"What?"

"It's different," said Lucas.

"Of course it's different. We're different," said Haley in surprise. Out of it's own accord her hand moved up from his cheek and ran through his hair.

"What about you and him?" asked Lucas.

"Don't ask me about that. You have no right," said Haley, dropping her hand. He took it in his own, and she didn't resist.

"I have some right," he said, covering her mouth with his.

It was too rehearsed to be really called passionate, but there was tenderness nonetheless as the two stripped each other to the skin and fell down onto Haley's bed, having moved from Brooke's room.

"So, she any better than me?" asked Haley listlessly, hanging over the edge of the bed and staring at the blank wall of her new room.

"Don't know," said Lucas.

"Brooke Davis is actually a virgin?"

"Yeah," said Lucas dully. They avoided each other's eyes. Haley quickly changed back into her clothing and left.

Lucas waited in the dark of Brooke's room until she came back, late that night. She stared at him sitting calmly there, amidst the chaos of her room.

"I need to tell you something," he said simply, his voice as cold as his eyes.