Authors Note "Just a quick note to let you all know I had to take chapter 9 down and edit it, simply because when I was writing it I was really tired and excited to update it and I forgot to proof read it …big mistake! My grammar and punctuation are terrible so I've tried to correct them, and that's therefore why I've updated it. Thanks for your reviews!"
The breeze was a cool relief as the sun beamed down on Tori's bare arms. As she made her way towards Lingford Road, the same familiar feeling which she had fought back for so long reappeared in the pit of her stomach. She was only going back to see how her mother was, and to collect some more things. It had been almost two months now, since Tori had left the imprisonment and tension of her childhood home. Sleeping at Kirsten's, Sodapop's and sometimes crashing at Buck's house, as Dally was still looking after it, had made her appreciate those around her more, and she seemed happier for it. Although she missed her mom, and Nathan, she didn't miss the atmosphere or John. She shuddered as she approached the front door, pushed her key into the lock and tried to turn it. Nothing happened. The locks had been changed. Angrily, Tori repeatedly rang the doorbell. Her mom answered, she looked happy and healthy. Before she could say anything, Tori walked into the house and started to speak.
"Mom, what's happened? Why does my key not work?" Tori asked frantically.
"Well, you've been gone for nearly two month now, and John decided it would be best if we changed the locks. You know, a fresh start. He's really changed. He's not angry, he's really nice and look what he bought me Tori." Her mother claimed showing a gold watch strapped to her arm, "You should really come home Tori, things will be different. I promise."
"Mom, you don't get it do you? Things are only good for you now because Nathan and me are gone. It was good last time I came too, but it wouldn't be good if I came home. He hates Nathan and me. I just can't come home. I'm sorry." Tori explained angered by her mother's suggestion. Why would she want to come home? She had escaped all of the hostility and violence, there was no way Tori wanted to go home.
"It's okay Hun, I understand." She paused. "I saw your brother yesterday. He has a new home number, would you like it? He also mentioned he saw you the other week with your boyfriend. Said he's a good boy, with a troubled past, knows his older brother or something. So you're happy then?"
"Yeah, I'm happy. Course I would like Nathan's number. And Soda, well, his parent's died; his brother looks after him and his younger brother. But they get along just fine."
"Should you really be getting involved with someone who has such an unstable background?" Her mom asked concerned.
"Geez, mom I can't believe you! My backgrounds more fucked up than his. What about dad? He died. Does that mean I shouldn't have a boyfriend because my dad died? John's a violent psychopath, talk about instability. Mom, I used to slit my wrists god knows how many times. I wanted to die, but I'm not messed up. You get through things, and that's what he's done. Geez, mom you're so prejudice. Why are you judging him, you don't even know him?" Tori protested.
"Watch your language! Well, his name for a start, it's rather strange. And anyway, you wont even let me meet him so how could I get to know him?"
"I never said you couldn't meet him. I just said I wasn't bringing him here. I don't want him to meet John, there is no need, he's not my dad and as far as I'm concerned he is no relation to me, whatsoever."
"Tori, you've crossed the line." Her mothers voice became shrill and uneasy. "John is part of our family. And if you don't want him in your life, you don't want me either as far as I'm concerned." Tori's mother, seemed different, she seemed cruel and uncaring towards her daughter. She and Tori had never been exceptionally close but for her to just blow her off completely was really out of character and, Tori thought, was down to John.
"Fine, if that's the way you want it. Just give me Nathan's number, I'll get the rest of my things and I'll be out of your life for good." Tori said, her eyes filling up, she fought back the tears and tried to repress her emotions.
"Oh, Tori, I didn't mean it. You can't say that. Of course I want you in my life you're my daughter. You just upset me. That's all." Janet's opinion suddenly changed and she attempted to hug her daughter.
"Okay, mom." Tori rolled her eyes, things were really different, "Well I better go and get my things together, and get going."
"Okay Tori. Make sure you bring your boyfriend with you next time. Here is Nathan's number."
Tori made her way to The Dingo, to meet her friends, thinking how differently her mom had been with her. She decided she should ring Nathan and meet up with him.
"Hey girl, how did it go?" Kirsten asked.
"Okay, I guess. My mom's so weird, she's changed it's 'cause of John. I know it. She told me she didn't want anything to do with me, if I didn't want anything to do with John. Suited me, then she apologised. She's messed up. I can't be bothered with them anymore. I think I'm gonna go see Nathan sometime. I miss him." Tori said looking at the menu.
"What you eating? Me and Shelly are gonna go order." Leigh asked looking at Tori and Kirsten.
"I'm not that hungry so just get me some fries and a diet coke please." Kirsten said passing her money to Leigh.
"I'm starving! Can you get me a chicken sandwich, large fries and a coke please?" Tori gave Leigh her money.
"Wow! Tori, I'm impressed, you don't normally eat if you're depressed, you must be getting better." Shelly stated sarcastically.
"Yeah girl, that's 'cos am not depressed!" Tori laughed.
The Dingo door opened and in walked Dally, accompanied by two other greasers, of whom Tori and her friends didn't recognise.
Shelly walked over to her seat carrying Tori's food and her own. She saw Dally and he saw them too. He strutted steadily over to the table talking to one of the greasers.
"Shoot, why does he have to be here?" Shelly complained, as Dally and his two friends arrived at the table.
"Shift up Shell, let me sit down." Dally said pinching a few of her fries.
Shelly was in shock. How could he act as if nothing had happened? And by the looks on her friend's faces they seemed to think it was okay too.
"You gonna introduce us to these broads or did you just come over here to steal their food?" One of the greasers asked Dally.
"Sure Buck. It's like you've been away too long. This is Tori Jameson, Kirsten, Leigh and Shelly, you gals this is Buck Merrill. You know, the guy whose house we've been partying at?" Dally asked.
"Oh yeah. Hi." Tori said sipping from her coke. Kirsten and Leigh smiled, while Shelly just ignored Dally, she was still angry with him.
"Which ones your honey?" Another asked.
"Non of them." Dally replied much to Shelly's annoyance.
"So, you gals up for grabs then? I'm Tim Shepard. Think I've seen you's at the party." Tim smiled.
"Yeah you would have seen us at the party, but no were not up for grabs. Tori's seeing Sodapop, Kirsten's sorta with Steve and I'm in with Two-Bit." Leigh replied.
"Shame." Tim grinned, his eyes darted between each of the girls, "You girls would have had a chance with me you know. Ha!"
"You arrogant pig!" Buck laughed hitting Tim on the back.
Tori noticed that Buck was somewhat older than them and he had a rugged appearance, which made him look tough but made Tori slightly uneasy. However Kirsten seemed to be intrigued by this older man and began fluttering her eyes at him.
Tim on the other hand, was about as old as Dally and reminded her of someone she couldn't put her finger on.
Shelly still hadn't spoken.
Tim turned and looked at Shelly. "Shoot aren't you the girl who burped in Dally's face before making out with him? Smelly Shelly Ha!"
Buck burst out laughing in unison with Tim and Dally.
"Yeah so what. You know what Dallas Winston?" Shelly started to speak.
"Yeah. What? " Dally asked.
"You are a pig and I wish I'd never laid eyes on you. I was right about you. You are a nasty immature piece of work." Shelly shouted, she picked up her drink of coke, and poured it over Dally's head, she turned to her friends and apologised, got up and left. Leaving Dally covered in coke, speechless. Buck and Tim were laughing at him.
"Yeah well, I didn't like you anyway. You stupid bitch." Dally retaliated as Shelly opened the door of The Dingo and drove off. He looked towards her friends. "That was totally uncalled for. She can fuck off. What did I actually do? Stupid bitch. Needn't think I'm going to speak to her again. See you lot later." He stormed out of The Dingo, his hair becoming sticky.
"What has Dally done to Shelly?" Kirsten asked the other two girls as they continued to eat.
"I don't know, maybe something else happened at Dally's party?" Leigh suggested.
"Yeah but if something had happened, wouldn't she have told us? Do you not think she's overreacting?" Tori said.
"Yeah maybe." Kirsten said thoughtfully.
A week or so passed. It was the last week of summer. Shelly was in a shop buying a magazine, Dally whom, was in the shop to get some beer, slowly walked up to her.
"Shelly?" He spoke expecting a shrill reaction. She turned round to face him, a shocked expression swept over her face.
"Yes. Dallas, what can I do for you?"
"I was just wanting to say sorry. I'm not sure what I've done to upset you, but I obviously have, from the way you reacted last week. So sorry for whatever I've done. Yeah?" Dally turned and started to walk away.
"Dally, wait. Thank you, I mean it. I guess I was just upset. After the party. I thought you liked me. I now know you don't. End of story." Shelly put her head down and turned to walk away.
"Shell, wait I didn't know you liked me." A grin spread across the hoods face. "I'm not really into relationships. Sorry."
Shelly turned and walked out of the store. She went to Kirsten's house, where Tori and Kirsten were sitting watching television.
"I can't take it any more." Shelly said as she walked into the sitting room.
"You cant take what? I don't understand." Tori asked a distraught Shelly.
"I am in love with Dallas Winston. He barely knows I exist. I can't take it any longer; I need him more than anything. He's so witty and mean and I love him." Shelly admitted.
Kirsten and Tori looked at each other in disbelief.
"But we thought you…"
"It doesn't matter what you thought. I'm telling you the truth. I was heart broken after the party. I made such a fool of myself. But I thought he liked me. I was so stupid to think I had a chance with him. I even took a pair of his boxer shorts just to remember him by." Shelly sobbed.
"You stole a pair of boxer shorts?" Kirsten asked in shock, how could there have been so much about their friend they didn't know? "Shelly, I'm pretty sure you weren't in love with him. You barely know him. He's a bit of a jerk anyway. Sure he's hot. But he's not that special. You could do tonnes better. Like that guy in your math class who fancies you. What's he called? James McMillan? He's a doll."
"Yeah Shell, don't worry about Dally. Why would you want to be with him? He smokes, and you hate smoking. He's always drunk. And he's not that funny, and you love funny guys." Tori said shooting a worrying look at Kirsten.
"Suppose. But I don't know. He makes me feel better, he makes me feel…actually he makes me feel stupid. I don't know why I liked him in the first place." Shelly said thoughtfully.
Kirsten and Tori looked confused, and unconvinced, however Shelly insisted she was fine and didn't want to talk about it, she would just bottle her emotions up. If her friends thought she was lying, why should she bother to explain herself to them? Sure on the outside it looked as if they were a tight group of friends, but on the inside Shelly felt alone. The outsider of the group.
Soda and Tori were sitting in the nightly double a few days later.
"If you still don't feel well you should go to the doctors Tori. School starts again next week, you don't wanna be poorly. Maybe you've got a bug or something." Soda suggested.
"Soda I'm fine. I think it's just, I'm stressing a bit because of my mom and stuff. I know that soon enough Kirsten's sister's gonna come back from Chicago, and there's gonna be no room there for me, so I'm gonna have to move back home. I don't want to. I'm gonna speak to my brother, try and see if he's got any suggestions."
"Maybe you are stressed, but you know, you could still go to the doctors just to check. And if you're ever stuck for somewhere to live, you can crash at mine. You know that." Soda kissed Tori on the cheek.
The new school year had started. Darry had made Soda attend. He kept telling him that he needed to stick in and try and get his grades up. But Soda wasn't as bright as Ponyboy. He didn't find schoolwork easy and he found it hard to keep his concentration. However, Darry didn't seem to understand that. Soda didn't enjoy learning, but Darry had loved school. He had dreamed of going to college, and supposed he was trying to get Soda and Ponyboy to live out his own dreams.
It was a hot day and the air conditioning had broken. The maths room in which Soda, Steve, Two-Bit, Leigh and Tori sat was hot and the lack of fresh air was making everyone very tired.
"Five minutes left… Come on." Soda stated as he glanced up at the clock.
"It seems like this lesson's lasted days." Two-Bit complained.
"I know, it's not good Bit. I'm just hoping our history class is cooler." Steve responded, hoping he was right.
The bell sounded and the lesson ended. Everyone stood up and began to leave. Tori gathered her things together, feeling sick and hot, she stood up and began to walk towards the door. Steve was walking in front and came to a sudden standstill as people began pushing to get out of the hot room. Suddenly there was a loud clatter. Steve's head spun round to see Tori lying on the floor. She had collapsed.
"Shit!" Soda shouted. "Tori you okay? Wake up Tor." He said as he held her head in his arms.
"Oi Sir!" Steve shouted, "Think we need an ambulance. Tori's passed out."
Mr King, the maths teacher, ran towards the limp body sprawled out on the floor. "Tori. Tori. Wake up. Leigh you go and get Mr Reynolds. Get him to call an ambulance do it quickly."
"Okay, but where is he?" Leigh asked quickly, laying her things down on a table.
"He's in the new staff room. Next to room 4E."
"Where's that!" Leigh asked panicking, as she looked at her friend on the floor.
"Come on," Two-Bit said, "I know where it is. I'll come with you. Don't worry Soda we'll get him quick." Two-Bit looked down to see his friend in despair.
Two-Bit and Leigh left the room, leaving Soda, Steve and Mr King, leaning over Tori. Suddenly she started to blink.
"Tori! You're awake!" Soda exclaimed with a happy yet concerned look on his face.
Slowly, Tori started to come around and sit up. "What happened? " She asked unaware of her blackout.
"You passed out. Are you okay?" Soda asked.
"Yeah I think so."
"Regardless if you feel okay Tori, I'm still going to have to send you to hospital. Just to get checked out." Mr King stated. "Do you want me to ring your mother?"
"No. I don't live with her anymore. But can you ring my brother please?" Tori asked rubbing her head.
"Yes, don't worry leave it to me." Mr King replied.
Later that afternoon, Tori was still sitting in a hospital bed. She had, had numerous tests and scans done. However she was unaware what was going on. Soda had stayed with her all day, but at the moment he had gone to get something to eat in the canteen with Steve. Nathan had dropped by, but had to get back to work. He was going to pick his sister up from the hospital later, so she could stop at his flat that night.
A young looking female doctor came in, she had dark hair tied back and was carrying a file in her hand. She pulled the curtains around Tori's bed and sat down on a seat.
"Can I go home yet?" Tori asked fed up with being sat in bed.
"You can soon. Just need to get you to sign a few things and I need to explain a few things." The doctor said.
"What do you mean explain a few things? Is everything okay?" Tori asked, her heart started pounding and she got a sickly feeling in her stomach.
"Yes, everything's fine. You and your baby are healthy."
"What? What do you mean my baby? I'm not pregnant I cant be." Tori's eyes widened with horror. Surely she would have noticed if she was pregnant.
"Tori, you are pregnant. We thought you were aware. Would you like a few minutes before I continue?"
Tori's eyes filled up with tears. Everything was fine, her life was getting better, why was she pregnant now? "No, I'm okay. Just continue." Tori was not okay. She was in shock.
"Can I ask when your last period was?" The doctor asked holding a pen.
"It was… about a month ago. Maybe just over a month. I'm due on now though." Tori said trying to stay calm, and convince herself this was some terrible mistake.
"Okay. And can I ask if you've suffered from stress recently?"
"About two and a half month ago, I moved out of my home. Things happened. My step dad was violent, so I've sort of been stressed. Why?"
"We are just trying to determine whether you passed out, directly due to heat and your pregnancy or something else." The doctor looked at Tori's tear stained face. "You know Tori, you have got options. You don't have to have this baby. I know it must have come as quite a shock, but it will take a bit of getting used to. If you want to talk to anyone I can get you in touch with one of our councillors."
"No, I'm okay. I just didn't expect it that's all."
"Where are you living at the moment?" The doctor asked calmly. She was friendly and made Tori feel safe. She didn't want to think of what would happen between her and Soda.
"I'm stopping with a friend at the minute. But I don't know how long that's gonna last."
"Right, well if you would like me to, I can book you an appointment to see a midwife, and possibly a social worker to try and find you somewhere to live?" The doctor suggested.
"Yeah, that would be nice if you could. Shoot, I don't know what to do." Tori sobbed.
"The most important thing at the moment is, for you to look after yourself and your baby. Talk to your partner about it. And Tori, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to your mother. Before you make any final decisions think it through. And if you ever need any advice you can talk to your midwife."
"Okay." Was all Tori could manage to say.
The night arrived and the shock had subsided. Tori hadn't told Soda yet. She was just starting to figure out how she should tell him. A nurse had been to see her and explained some things to her. The hospital staff had been really nice, and in a way she wished she didn't have to leave to face reality and tell everyone she was pregnant. She knew her mother would go spare, and she didn't want to know what would happen between her and Sodapop.
Nathan picked Tori and Soda up. By this time Steve had already gone home.
"So what did they say?" Nathan asked concerned.
"Em, just that it was down to the heat and stress. Nothing to worry about." Tori lied.
"So if it was just down to that why did they do loads of tests?" Nathan asked unconvinced by his younger sisters story.
"Just to make sure I wasn't ill. I guess. Thanks for stopping with me Soda." Tori tried to change the subject.
"No bother whatsoever. I'm just glad you're alright." Soda replied.
"Me too." Nathan stated, "Also Sodapop, thank you. I'm glad someone was there for my little sister. Are you wanting to come to my flat for a bit with Tori or are you wanting to go home?"
"Well, it's getting late. I've got work first thing so if it's okay with you and Tori I better be getting home. Darry doesn't like me in late." Soda explained.
"Yeah that's no problem Soda. I appreciate what you've done. You've had a long day." Tori smiled. She thought of how different things were going to be when they found out about the small being inside of her stomach.
Nathan pulled up to the Curtis house.
"See you Soda. And thanks." Nathan said as Soda got out.
"Yeah see you."
"I'll walk you to your door." Tori said as she got out of the car.
The short walk to Soda's door was quiet.
"Listen Tori, I need to tell you something. And I don't know if this is the right time but I don't know if there will ever be a right time." Soda stopped. Fear washed over Tori, she was expecting him to finish it with her. He opened his mouth and began to speak. "Tori, I love you. I realised today. I was so worried."
A smile began to appear on Tori's face. It was the first time she had really felt happy that day. "Really? Your not just saying it?"
"No I mean it. I promise." Soda kissed Tori.
"I think I might love you too." Tori laughed. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.
A few days passed and Tori went back to school. She hadn't found the right time to tell anyone about her baby yet. Maybe she was just scared that her life would come crashing down. Maybe she didn't want to believe it was happening. Whatever the reason it was becoming harder and harder for her to contemplate telling Sodapop.
"Soda we need to talk." Tori said one night, as she and Soda were walking from the DX towards the park.
"Yeah what about? What's up?" Soda asked concerned.
"Well, you know when I went to the hospital? I didn't tell you everything." Tori said. She took a deep breath and looked first to Soda then to the ground. "Soda, I don't know how to tell you this, I'm so scared. I, I you need to know. I should have told you sooner." Soda looked scared and worried. Tori took a deep breath and carried on. "I'm nearly two month pregnant."