Tori peered through the frosted glass. On her first glance she could see a blurred vision of who she guessed was Sodapop, attached to something, she guessed it must be his monitor, although it was unclear, sat next to Soda was a long haired girl, instinct told her it was Kirsten. Her heart was pounding and her palms were clammy. Deep down she knew she had to open the door soon or she would lose the strength to face Soda.
Inside the room, Soda was lying propped up by a number of pillows. Although Soda was being pumped lots of painkillers, the pain was still there, agonising every movement he made, like a hammer taking a blow to him every time he dared to adjust his position. His lungs ached as he breathed; he guessed it felt like swallowing broken glass.
Soda was attempting a smile; the smile was a weakened shadow of his former movie star grin, something sent a shiver down Tori's spine, for the first time she was faced with a cold reality, no matter who said it was okay, it wasn't. Friendships had been ruined, Soda and Tori weren't on speaking terms and were having a child, - in reality it was one big mess.
Tori took a deep breath and opened the door. Suddenly her ex faced her. Her face became pale with shock as she realised the extent of his suffering. Her mind became numb with fear as she saw the wires and drips extending from Soda's body. Arms draped her shoulders as she snapped out of her trance.
Kirsten embraced her. "Tori, it's okay. Soda knows everything. He's okay. Everything will be okay." Kirsten whispered into her friend's ear.
Tori nodded and attempted a smile. "Thanks."
"Okay well, I'll leave you guys to it. Feel better Soda. Bye." Kirsten said with a warm smile as she left.
"Yeah thanks Kirst," Soda said uneasy. His eyes followed the mother of his child. "Hey."
"Hi. How you feeling?" Tori asked quickly. She felt awkward. Soda's eyes were wide with a dull tinge of excitement.
"Well I would say good but that would be a lie. I was feeling better but then I found out about you, how you, and the baby, and… well now I don't feel too good." Soda struggled to come to terms with the near loss of his child, and ex.
"Soda, I'm sorry about that. But our baby's fine. Healthy. Fine. It just moved and cut its oxygen supply so they had to encourage it to move back which they did. So it's fine now. Nothing to worry about. I think we need to talk about what's going to happen, at some point. Like when the baby's born, and a name and stuff." Tori explained, she sat down on the brown comfy seat. Her heart was pounding like a beating drum as she searched for a way to tell Soda about her self-harm.
"I know we've got to talk and I know that our baby is okay. But are you?" Soda asked intently. Without realising it he began biting his bottom lip, shaking with worry, intensely scanning his mind for reassurance, for hope that things were going to be okay.
"Yeah. Course I'm okay." Tori lied, her eyes turned away from Soda as she did so. She looked at the clean sterile room surrounding her, she shivered; it was cold and unwelcoming.
"Tori are you really? I know about, about your…wrists. Kirsten told me. I'm so worried about you." Soda explained. A tear rolled down his bruised and battered face. His face looked older than it was, as Soda tried to battle the pain. He took a deep breath and looked at a shocked and shamed Tori, she looked broken, but with a small ounce of strength which gave her the courage to sit in front of him, to face him, to face her own problems.
"I, I don't know what to say. Please don't think badly of me. Please don't think I won't be a good mom. I'm getting better; I haven't done it in a while now, Soda. I'm getting help." Tori's eyes filled up as her worst fears began spilling out, what if Soda thought she was unfit to look after their baby? What if he took it away from her? What if she was left heartbroken with all her dreams shattered alone and scared.
"I know you are. Tori I know you will make a good mom. I feel so bad. Like it's my fault." Soda's eyes were wide with fear.
"It's not your fault. Have you ever felt so bad you just wanted to disappear? That's how I felt. When I was hurting or sad, I would cut. It was sort of a coping strategy. It made me feel safe, because I could control it. It's been really hard without you and then Nathan's been working away, sometimes, Soda I don't know what to do, I don't want to hurt anymore." Tori's eyes were glowing a bright green as tears were streaming down her now pale grimaced face. She looked torn.
"If only I hadn't upset you. I knew I shouldn't have left you the minute I walked out. Then Nathan told me you were on a date, so I went out with that slag to make you jealous, then you told me you kissed Dally. I felt like an idiot. I didn't know what to do either. I just wanted you so much, but I was ashamed of what I done and how I acted. I was too stubborn to do anything about it, so I pushed you away even further." Soda confessed.
"Soda, don't blame yourself. It's not the first time I've done it. But I'm not going to do it again. I cant. I'm living for my baby now. I've got to be the best mom I can be." Tori explained. "I'm just so scared. About the birth. About what will happen when it's born. Where I will get money. It's just scary. I know I've got a savings account, what my mom put to one side for me when my dad died, but its only $5000, its not going to last forever. "
"Tori I will help you. I promise you won't be alone. I promise I'm going to look after you and our baby. I promise."
"Soda you don't have to say that. Really I'm not going to do it again. I just have to get used to the idea you will get involved with other girls and stuff. You know you can see your baby whenever you like." Tori sighed. She felt she was loosing the battle.
"Tori you don't understand. I think we should give it another go." Soda suggested positively.
"Soda, I don't want you to be with me because you feel sorry for me. We will just end up the way we were."
" I love you Tori. I don't feel sorry for you. I just love you. I want to be with you." Soda felt like a big load had been lifted off his aching body as he finally revealed his feelings.
"I, Soda… I…" Tori looked confused, was there any truth in Soda's suggestion?
"Don't say anything. You don't have to make a decision now. Just promise me we can be friends." Soda attempted another smile.
"Yeah okay. Friends." Tori smiled back. Were things finally getting better?
Darry and Pony had practically lived in the hospital waiting room since Soda had been rushed in. They were eagerly waiting him coming home.
"Darry, what will happen when Soda gets home? He wont be able to climb the stairs. And the toilets upstairs." Pony's mind raced with problems they would have to face in the near future.
"Then Soda can stay upstairs for a while." Darry suggested.
"But what if there's no one in and he needs a drink, and he cant get downstairs to get one?" Pony questioned.
"I don't know Pony, we will sort something out." Darry sighed; he knew it was going to be hard work looking after Soda.
A few weeks passed and Soda was making progress. He had been home almost a week now. His friends were dropping by all the time, and when he was with them time flew. But it was the time he spent alone which Soda couldn't handle. He was managing to get up the stairs, but only just. He spent the time alone sat in his wheelchair in front of the television. Soda started to realise day time television was crap, he longed to go outside, even to go back to work…anything to escape his boredom. As the hours passed the days grew longer as he waited patiently for his brothers to come home. Time seemed to stand still.
Darry was refusing to let Soda out of the house, still persistent that he could get an infection in his stitches from where his spleen had been removed, as a consequence he had missed his baby's seven month scan. He was angry, just as things seemed to be getting better, Darry wouldn't let him go to the hospital with Tori.
"Have you brought the pictures?" Soda smiled warmly as he eagerly waited to see the development of his baby.
"Yeah I have. Not long now. Just two month to go. Hope it's born after Christmas though don't really want to be in hospital over Christmas." Tori laughed as she handed over a few photos.
"I know! Ha! You looking forward to it?" Soda asked.
"What? Giving birth? You've got to be joking! I'm terrified! Been talking to my psychologist about it, she thinks I'll be fine, she's been showing me new coping strategies, its all a bit scary though."
"And painful too I would imagine." Soda grinned, he was really happy as he delicately examined the photos.
"Yeah thanks Soda." Tori rolled her eyes.
"Ha! Can I come?" Soda asked.
"Come where?" Tori was confused.
"Come to the hospital when it gets born." Soda asked cautiously. "I'd hold your hand and stuff. Try and make you feel better."
"If you want. Yeah. I didn't think you would want to." Tori smiled, everything seemed to be climbing back up hill.
"Thanks." Soda grinned; he was regaining his movie star grin, as he was getting better. "Can I have a hug?"
"Yeah if you want." Tori leaned in; Soda wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and held her close, engulfing her sweet scent, the once familiar scent filled his lungs making him feel light and airy.
Soda released Tori, he stared into her green majestic eyes, and he was empowered by them. It was as if he was drawn to her. Without realising what he was doing he leaned in and kissed her.
Tori was surprised, but kissed him back. His soft lips passionately making her want him more. Suddenly she jerked out of the moment and pulled away from him.
"Shit, Tori I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have. I…" Soda was cut off.
"It's not that, it's the baby. It's just kicked!" Tori laughed.
"Really? Can I feel?" Soda asked excitedly.
"Yeah." Tori grinned as she placed Soda's hand on her stomach.
"Ha! Wow, it really did." Soda laughed. "Tori what do you say, we give it another go?"
Tori smiled warmly. "Yeah okay. Under one condition; we talk about our problems rather than run out. Yeah?"
"Definitely." Soda's eyes lit up as he smiled. They leaned in and kissed again, this time the kiss was equally as passionate to their first ever kiss.
Another week passed by and Soda was becoming demented with boredom. He was sitting watching another repeated episode of Mickey Mouse. Darry was sitting in his usual place reading his usual paper.
"Darry, you think I can go out yet? I just want to go round Tori's or Steve's. I just want to get out. I'm fed up of sitting in this darn house." Soda asked impatiently.
"Yeah okay. But I'm coming with you." Darry put his paper down and looked at his brother.
Soda looked slightly discontent with this response. "Darry can I not stop over night? At Tori's… please."
"I don't know Soda, I think it's too soon."
"Darry my baby's due soon." Soda pleaded.
"I know and when you are better you can do as you please, but at the minute you aren't better so you do as I say." Darry stated.
The next afternoon, Darry pushed Soda around to Tori's flat, and arranged to pick him up when he had finished work.
"Tori, I'm excited. It's not long at all." Soda laughed.
"I know. I've bought you a Christmas present. It's not much, but I think you'll like it." Tori smiled.
"Really? That's real nice of you. I haven't got you one yet." Soda was lying on the settee, his head on Tori's lap.
"Yeah well, you don't need to. Soda what do you think we will have? A boy or a girl?" Tori asked.
"I don't know. I hope it's a girl and she looks like you. And if it's a boy I'll be happy too. What do you want?"
"I don't know. Either as long as it's healthy." Tori slipped away from reality and into a daydream. In this dream her and Soda had a big house somewhere in town. It was a white house, with four bedrooms, a garage, a driveway, and two big gardens greener than the grass at the park. The house was accompanied by a large indoor swimming pool, a playroom for their baby, and a large living area. In this daydream, everything was better than reality, everything was perfect. They both had well paid jobs, and the problems they faced in Tulsa seemed a million miles away.
"Tori? What are we going to call it?" Soda asked suddenly, realising with only two month to go they had yet to think of a name.
"I don't know." Tori snapped out of her daydream and started thinking about names.
"For a boy how about…Timothy, or Henry, or Glen? And for a girl what about…Penny, or Lilly, or Sarah?" Soda suggested. Thinking about it he didn't think he wanted his child to be called any of the above. "Actually scrap that I don't like them."
After hours of deliberation and suggestions two names were finally decided.
I like Jack for a boy, and I don't know about a girl." Soda smiled. "What do you think?"
"Jack…I like it! Jack Curtis. Sounds good to me. Jack for a boy." Tori looked at Soda, "What about Elli? For a girl."
"Elli. Yeah it's cute. Elli and Jack! Cool! Can't wait till we find out what it is now!" Soda laughed. Everything was fine. He just hoped their baby would be happy and healthy.
Author's Note; "Hey everyone! Deep apologies. Really sorry for the super late update. Been immensely busy, and my laptop (Which I type my story on) broke so, deep apologies! Hope you all enjoy the chapter and I hope I don't disappoint anyone. I promise I'll try to update sooner. Had my first day at Uni today so please bear with me! Thanks for all of my reviews last chapter. Tikagem: in response to your review, I realise the quotation is a double negative and I purposefully put it in to emphasize the irony of the future of Soda & Tori's relationship, as you can see it hasn't been a smooth ride! But thanks for your constructive criticism, please let me know if there's anything dodgy about my writing! Thanks! Also thanks for all of my other reviews everyone else! Please read & review! I better be off since my A/N will be longer than my story! Ha! Until next time…. Fizzyworms