Hitchhikers in Middle-Earth
Chapter 1: The Fall (both of Arthur and of Sauron)
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Author's note: some things may seem upside down
I'm sorry for publishing so slowly, do forgive me.
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Arthur Dent awoke with a slight frizzling feeling in his head.
All he could make out was blurred and green.
He tried to perceive his surroundings more closely and realized something moving toward him. It was also blurred, although it was less green and rather a bit more, but not exactly like brown.
The brown thing said something to him, but he didn't understand it, for it sounded roughly like this: "eman yht si tahw"
And so he closed his eyes again to concentrate on things and shook his head because he was still a bit drowsy and didn't want rubbish to enter his head.
Without knowing why or for what reasons the babelfish inside Arthur's head was forcefully being turned around for the second time in the last few minutes. The babelfish, bored by speaking backwards, thanked Arthur mentally and began his usual routine.
After opening his eyes again Arthur realized that his view became much better, for he saw beautiful green pastures and very large trees.
Arthur tried to locate the brown thing that talked to him before and failed, for he only saw a tall, bearded, long-haired man, who was, in fact, still talking to him.
The man said to him, "What is thy name?"
"Well, err, Arthur … Arthur Dent," Arthur Dent said, baffled by the inabsence of the brown thing.
"Thank you, o lord, for praising us with the presence of Arthur … Arthur Dent!" the long haired man said, his arms raised to the sky.
"What's that all about?" Arthur asked the man, not knowing what that was all about.
"Are thee not the man who, without any warning, fell out of the skies?" the man asked him.
"Well, if you say so," Arthur Dent responded, still groggy from what he now knew was a fall.
"Then we must thank thee for the deed thee heroically accomplished for us," the bearded man said, bowing.
"I see," said Arthur, who didn't, "what exactly did I do?"
"Well, o heroic one, thee ridded our land from the greatest scourge that befell us since a time that not even the eldest of men can remember."
"Oh! OK, well, what did I do then?"
"Well, err, thee has fallen on him," Aragorn explained, while standing before a dumbstruck Arthur Dent, who, without knowing it, sat on the second fiercest Dark Lord in the history of Middle-Earth.
And so Aragorn explained him how Sauron the evil dark lord retrieved his ring of power and how he overran the lands of Middle-Earth, how Sauron personally set out to smite the last bit of resistance, and how at the last and final battle Arthur saved everyone by falling on him.
Still startled, Arthur tried to understand what kind of dimensional breach could possibly have transported him to this place or how anyone could think that he could be a hero, abandoned his thoughts and began to like it.
"Cool," Arthur said after much consideration.
So finally it happened that Arthur became the new leader of the Survivors of Middle-Earth, who now began their campaign against the followers of Sauron. This allowed Arthur to work day and night because he provided good orc sandwiches for the troops.
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