"I just don't like him"
Mal was getting tired of Zoe's unbending position on their new pilot. Seemed like no matter what the man did, she met it with a stony stare and grimly set jaw.
Not that it was all that unusual for Zoe to look that way, mind you. But Wash and his light-hearted ways seemed to drive her to even greater depths of surliness.
"He wouldn't last 5 minutes in a fire-fight, Sir"
"I didn't hire him to be in a fire-fight, I hired him on account of his flying skills. Seems to me it'd be a waste putting a good pilot in a gun battle, when he'd be better suited to getting our hides away to safety." He was starting to feel a might stubborn on the subject himself.
"Yes, Sir"
He could tell by the quiet voice and the blank gaze she leveled at him that the argument wasn't over yet. It was going to take a miracle for the two of them to start talking to each other, much less to take a liking to each other.
-
Zoe could tell by the look on Mal's face that she had pushed the subject of the new pilot far enough for one day. The man had a stubborn streak a mile wide and it seemed he was bound and determined that this was his pilot. Well, obviously she wasn't going to change his mind on it. It wasn't her fault that there was something about this Wash that set off all her instinctive danger alarms. During the war those alarms had saved their lives more than once. She'd just get that itchy feeling and know that something was wrong. Never used to matter if she couldn't put it words why she felt that way, used to be she'd just say something felt wrong and Mal would listen. Seemed like that wasn't the way anymore.
Well, since he wouldn't listen, she'd just have to keep an eye on Wash, and discover for herself why he was a danger.
-
She found Wash up on the bridge, in the final stages of getting Serenity ready to fly.
She walked into the room as Wash did something to the controls that sent a shower of sparks in every direction with a loud "pop".
"Whoa! Yeouch, that wasn't it!" Wash blew on his scorched fingers and grinned wryly at her. "Well, now I know what not to do, should have it fixed in no time at all"
"I'm not sure I find you setting the control room on fire particularly comforting. Not exactly confidence building on your part, if you catch my drift." Maddeningly, he seemed to find that funny.
"Nah, really it's such a lousy wiring set up that every time I figure out something that's wrong, it adds a couple hours off of the time I'll need to finish." Eyeing the fire that was still lingering on the console he raised his eyebrow at her, "But if you're gonna stay, why don't you hand me the extinguisher. Unless you want to roast marshmallows and tell campfire stories? I've made some pretty good progress today, I can toast a few more connecters for the cause"
Zoe stiffly handed him the extinguisher. That damn cheerful grin never left Wash's face as he put out the last of the flames.
"I don't think that the Captain would be very amused at the idea of a campfire with the control board. Supplies don't exactly come cheap in these parts, you know. Why don't you just try to get things finished so that you can do your job and fly the gorram ship?
"Yes, Ma'am, right away ma'am!" Wash gave her a mocking salute. "I do but live to serve and all that other stuff you military people say all the time." The grin had still not slipped from his face when he ducked back under the console to begin wiring again. A jaunty little tune began to seep out from under the console, punctuated with the sound of sparking wires and curses.
Infuriated Zoe turned on her heel and strode from the control room, seething at his behavior. Gorram it, why did the Captain feel the need to have this particular pilot at the controls? There had to be a million pilots out there looking for work in this new bureaucracy, why did it have to be him?
-
It took most of another week to get Serenity ready to fly. Mal was getting tetchy by the time lift-off arrived. Every day had become a round of Zoe badgering him about Wash's latest exploits. Until in a fit of frustration he'd told her he'd never seen someone pay so close of attention to a man that they weren't sleeping with, maybe she should just take him to bed and get it over with.
The chill she'd radiated at that statement had been a little scary. Mal had seen Zoe's face at the end of the battle of Serenity when they'd been told they weren't going to be picked up till the peace talks were over with. She hadn't been half as scary that day as she was right now.
It was worth being glared at by her at every turn to get some peace and quiet though. He was ready to dust off from this planet and feel the freedom of space again.
-
The take off had been a little rough. Things were still a tad miswired in places and there had been one or two small electrical fires when several sections of the less important wiring like lighting and door locks, overloaded and shorted out, but Serenity was flying.
Flying and thriving. They're new mechanic Kaylee had gotten Serenity in better condition than Zoe had ever thought was possible for the flying junk heap to be in. They picked up a score of jobs that kept them in food and parts before landing what Mal called "The Big One". Seemed easy enough. Set down on a small planet without much industry, except mining, and pick up as much of the rare ore mined there as they could carry. The job had turned sour almost as soon as it had begun. The guards had changed their watch schedules and Zoe and the new hired gun Jayne were walked in on by a new set as soon as they started loading the mule with the ore. The way out loaded down with their precious cargo was a nasty ambush that they ended up shooting their way through, leaving several dead men in the dust. Apparently the Alliance forces didn't appreciate their little raid on the mine and were now dead-set to make them a messy example for others with the same idea, regardless of the fact they'd carried of barely enough to cover the fuel they'd used to get there.
So now there were three Alliance cruisers on their tails as they ran for the cover of the rim. Course if they made it the rim had its own troubles like Reavers and such, but one thing at a time the Captain figured.
Wash didn't seem at all perturbed by this new development and was flying Serenity with a lazy grace, hardly looking at the ships on radar as he tried to engage Zoe in a conversation.
"So, have you ever been to Delos 3? I hear it's got great water sports, myself I'm not much of a swimmer, but I do like to watch the women swim. You ever swim Zoe?" Wash was looking at her with a slight grin at her tenseness. "I'm thinking you should be worrying less about my ability to tread water and more about those cruisers which are about to ram our backside. I'm not really looking forward to spending time in either a vacuum or a jail cell if you get my drift"
"Oh, those?" He waved nonchalantly at the radar screen. "You don't need to worry about those, we'll do a reverse as soon as they're a bit closer, fly down the middle and make for the asteroids while they're trying to turn those big, clunky tin-cans around. So now back to the swimming, you know you would look fabulous in a bikini, I'd vote for a thong type myself, but that would be selfish, you go with whatever kind of bikini is most comfortable for you"
She looked at him, gaping a little in disbelief.
"Down the middle? Those ships are flying in formation only a few meters apart. You'll crash us right into them"
"Not at all" He stretched his arms over his head and cracked his knuckles, then settled back into the seat. "Those types of ships never fly closer than 100 meters to each other. The pilots are too nervous that they'll bump each other"
"And that leaves us how many free meters?" She could feel her brow creasing in a frown.
"Oh, well as long as Mal and Kaylee haven't added any parts that I don't know about on the hull, we have about 5 meters leeway before we hit something. So 2 point 5 meters on either side. Plenty of room." Wash was starting to press buttons and fire up the engines for some maneuvering.
"Two and a half meters? You're crazy! I don't want you to space us to save them the trouble"
Wash looked at her with a gleam in his eye. "Tell you what, let's make a bet. I get us through the ships and to safety without any bumps or bruises to us or the ship, and you show me your swimwear of choice"
"You'll never make it." Zoe stated flatly.
"Well then I guess you won't have to worry about picking out a suit will you?" He waited for a moment then added, "I have to start moving soon, so what do you say?" Seeing her hesitation he raised a mocking eyebrow. "Come on, big bad warrior woman's not afraid of anything, remember"
She ground her teeth. "Fine, you have a bet; just try to make sure I'm alive after you breach the hull so I can kill you"
"Boy you sure know how to suck the fun out of a situation, you know that? You might want to hang on to something"
Wash abruptly put the ship into a 180 degree slide with a flip so that the Alliance ships looked upside down.
"Silly boys, fresh out of the academy keeping forgetting that 'down' is where your artificial grav says it is. Makes them nervous when you aren't the same way up that they are"
Putting the engines on full the ships in the distance started to loom quickly. When they were far away Zoe didn't realize how much bigger than Serenity they were, now they filled the screens and windows like leviathans. To her the space between the ships didn't look big enough for the shuttles to fit through, much less the whole ship.
With a finesse that was startling Wash managed to fly Serenity right through the middle of the ships. The hulls were so close to the viewports Zoe could see where small repairs had been welded onto the plating, marring the original finish. When they came out the other side, she realized her fingers had dug dents into the back of the pilot's chair.
Wash had never even looked tense and was now putting on the afterburners to send them into the nearby meteor cluster where the larger ships didn't dare to follow. Once Serenity was hidden on a large meteor where they would wait until the coast was clear, Wash turned around to look at her with a proud sparkle in his eye.
"So, when can I expect my one woman fashion show"
Zoe felt a strange tickling sensation in her throat, and when she opened her mouth to let him know just exactly what she thought of what he'd just done, she was surprised to find out that the tickle was a laugh waiting to come out.
Wash's eyebrows rose in surprise and he answered her laugh with one of his own. "So you do laugh. I had to try hard enough to get one. I'm telling you, you were starting to make me doubt my ability at telling jokes"
This time the smile that came to her face felt almost natural. "I don't laugh, that's an evil rumor and I won't let you spread it around the ship. It would ruin my reputation as an evil ice queen warrior woman"
"And she has a sense of humor too? Isn't this a lovely surprise"
She looked at Wash considering.
"The mustache has to go." She said with a dead-pan face. "I don't kiss men with mustaches"
"There's kissing now? Not that I'm complaining mind you, but did I miss something? Because, if I did something that great on mistake I want to know what it is so I do it more often"
She put one finger over his lips to make him shush for a moment. "Wash, shut up, go shave and meet me in my quarters. Or is that too complicated for you"
Wash answered her with his reply from when he set the control board on fire. "Yes, Ma'am, right away ma'am! I do but live to serve and all that other stuff you military people say all the time." He gave her the same mocking salute and a grin and strode away whistling to go shave.
Zoe just sighed as she watched him leave. It was just her luck to fall in love with a madman. Then she smiled, she'd better hurry back to her quarters and get into her swimwear.
Wouldn't Wash be surprised to find out she usually went skinny dipping.