Why Her?

Harry sat in his apartment with only one companion: the firewhiskey bottle. He poured himself another glass and brought it up to his lips. The heat of the ale slid down his throat and Harry didn't show any sign of the strength of the drink at all. He was drunk. There was no doubt about it. He lay on his couch and allowed a few silent tears to run down his face.

'Why her?' he always thought. 'Why did it have to be her? It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve it.'

More tears ran down his cheeks and he suddenly had a headache. It hurt tremendously. He set down his whiskey glass and put pressure on his temples with his fists. It was then that memories flooded his mind.

FLASHBACK

It was their seventh year of Hogwarts. The new and final year was finally upon the golden trio, and they were all too excited for it. Hermione and Harry had found out that they were Head Boy and Girl, and Ron was very happy for them.

"I'll miss you in the common room," he said when he found out that they had their own dorm. "But don't worry things will be fine."

They had all shared memories of the past few years. Some were joyful and adventurous, but some were also dark and depressing. They spoke of their first year when they had to capture the Sorcerer's Stone and how they all became friends. They talked about their second year when Ron and Harry had to rescue Ginny from the Chamber of Secrets. Things got a little darker when they talked about their third year. They tried to avoid the subject of Sirius, but they were all thinking about him whether they said it aloud or not. The fourth year was a little more exciting with the Triwizard Tournament and meeting all those new people. They avoided talking about fifth and sixth year all together. They were all still a bit depressed and surprised by Sirius and Dumbledore's deaths.

They even avoiding talking about their summer. They had all spent it together looking for the Horcruxes. Miraculously they had found all of them and Harry was able to defeat Voldemort. Before they could come to the topic of Voldemort, however, the carriages stopped outside of the school and they walked in.

The first weekend of school was one of the best weekends of Harry's life. He was sitting in the Head common room reading a new book on Quidditch when Hermione walked in and said, "Oh my god!"

Harry put the book in his lap and said, "What?"

"You scared me!" she said. "For a minute there I thought you were actually reading!"

He pulled the book up and began to read again after saying, "Ha ha, very funny."

Hermione laughed a little and sat next to him while saying, "You know I'm only joking."

He smiled at her and she said, "Harry can we talk about something that happened this summer?"

He didn't respond. He didn't want to talk about that summer. Everything that happened during one day was nothing but destruction. People were murdered, injured, and near death. It was terrible, and he never wanted to think about it again.

"Not all of that Harry," she said seeing the pain in his eyes. "I want to talk about…about what you said to me that day."

He put his book down and looked her straight in the eye.

"I want to know if you meant what you said," she continued.

"I meant every word," he replied. "I told you that I loved you and I always have, always will. It's true. I will never ever stop loving you. I love you Hermione Jane Granger, and if you can't deal with that then…we're gonna have a problem."

"We don't have a problem," Hermione said. "Because I love you too."

They both smiled and Harry leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was warm, passionate, and lustful. He knew right then that he would love her until the end of the earth and beyond.

END OF FLASHBACK

Remembering this day Harry cried even more. He looked at a picture on the wall and took it down. It was a picture of him and Hermione on Christmas day…before he found out. They looked so happy without a car in the world. He found out later that day that she was an amazing actress. Looking at the picture now he could see the pain and worry hidden behind her eyes. He kissed the picture lightly and thought about that day.

FLASHBACK

The camera flash as Harry and Hermione smiled and waved. He then placed a light kiss on her cheek and she told him that she would be right back. Harry sat and talked with some of his friends in the common room. They were having a Christmas party to try and bring some cheer to the now gloomy castle. Harry was enjoying himself for the most part.

He sat and talked to Dean, Seamus, Ron, and Neville for about an hour.

"Did any of you see Hermione?" he asked. "I haven't seen her since she said she had to go somewhere."

"I haven't seen her," Ron said. The others shook their heads showing that they hadn't seen her either.

"I wonder where she is," Harry muttered to himself. "Well I'm gonna go look for her. I'll see you all later."

He walked to the end of the corridor and looked out the window to see that she was laying on the shore of the Black Lake. He swiftly walked down all of the stairs until he came to the entrance hall. He opened the Great Oak doors and walked out onto the grounds. He went over to the area where he had seen Hermione. When he spotted her he walked over to see that she had fallen asleep. He was about to wake her up when he noticed that there were tears in her eyes.

"No," she muttered in her sleep. "No, not me…it can't be…I'm not sick…no…"

"Sick?" Harry whispered. "What the hell is she talking about?"

"Don't tell anyone mum," she then said. "I don't think they even know what…what…leukemia is…"

"Leukemia?" Harry said. "No…no it can't be! Hermione is perfectly healthy! She isn't sick. She doesn't have leukemia."

"It hurts so bad mum," she said. "How can I hide this from them?"

She began to moan in her sleep and then she sat up like a bullet and yelled, "HARRY!" with her eyes still closed.

Harry immediately put his arms around her and said, "Hermione wake up. You're having a bad dream. C'mon 'Mione, wake up!"

Her eyes slowly opened and she realized that was in Harry's arms. "Oh…oh god! Harry!"

She put her face in the crook of his neck and he said, "You were having a bad dream. That's all."

"It was real," she said unaware that she had been talking in her sleep. "It was all real. All of it. Every single bit of it."

"That's not possible," Harry said. "You said something about having leukemia, and that's not true…is it?"

She didn't say anything. She only cried harder.

"Oh god 'Mione," Harry said as he pulled her closer. "Why didn't you tell me?"

END OF FLASHBACK

He was shaking like mad. His world collapsed the night she told him. He knew that she was going to die, but that only made him treat her better. He didn't act like she had a disease. He knew she didn't want that. He had made her forget that she was ill…until her very last day.

FLASHBACK

She hadn't come up to the dorm yet and he was worried about her. Anything could have happened to her. She could have collapsed again. Thankfully Harry was there to catch her the first and only time she had, but what if there wasn't anyone to break her fall? He pushed these thoughts away telling himself that she was alright.

His fears were laid to rest a few moments later when she walked into the common room.

"I'm sorry I'm in late," she said seeing the worried look on his face. "I had to talk to Flitwick about an assignment."

"It's ok," Harry replied. "You're here now, and that's all that matters."

She smiled and he smiled back. Then she walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. The kiss was passionate as many of their kisses were, but she placed a bit of reassurance in this kiss. It made Harry feel better. When they parted they each had a smile on their faces.

"How was your day?" Harry asked.

"It was great," she said. "I felt a lot better today. I think I'm strengthening Harry. I can feel it."

This put Harry in high spirits.

"'Mione that's wonderful," he replied.

"What about you? How was your day?"

"It was very normal," he said. "It was very odd. Nothing terrible happened, there was not much drama, and I didn't have to save someone's life."

Hermione laughed bit at this, and her eyelids began to droop.

"I just got really tired all of a sudden," she said with a smile on her face. "I think I over worked myself on that assignment Flitwick gave."

She chuckled a little bit and Harry chuckled back. Her eyelids began to droop again and she yawned.

"I think I'm gonna…I'm gonna…" she said as her eyelids closed.

Harry's eyes filled with worry as he said, "Hermione!"

She began to fall backwards and Harry couldn't reach her in time. She hit her head on the corner of the mantle above the fireplace and fell to the ground with a thud.

"HERMIONE!" he yelled. He picked up her body and ran through the halls to the Hospital Wing.

Tears flooded his eyes as he kept saying, "She's not dead. She's not dead. She didn't lose that much blood."

But the minute he said that he knew it was a lie. There was a good amount of her blood on the floor and mantle in the common room.

"Madame Pompfry!" Harry cried as he set Hermione on one of the beds. "Madame Pompfry come quick! Hermione's fallen!"

Madame Pompfry came out and saw what had happened. She immediately contacted Professor McGonagall and set to work on reviving Hermione. Harry's eyes were filled to the brim with tears, but he wouldn't let them fall over nothing. Soon McGonagall rushed in, and Harry was in the dark for the longest 10 minutes of his life.

He stared at his hands the entire time. They were covered in blood… her blood.

Just then Madame Pompfry came out and gave Harry a look of sorrow.

"I am so sorry," she said. "There was nothing more we could do."

Harry immediately let the tears go.

"No!" he yelled. "No!"

He ran over to the bed where Hermione lay and cupped her lifeless face in his hands.

"C'mon Hermione," he said to her and tears poured onto his face. "C'mon 'Mione. Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP!"

McGonagall came over and tore him away from her. He put his head on her shoulder cried. He cried loudly and he cried painfully. He would never recover, and everyone who knew his lover for Hermione knew that.

END OF FLASHBACK

The funeral had been wonderful. Harry had planned everything, and everyone who knew Hermione was there. He had already met her entire family, and they had wept together. When they closed the casket Harry almost lost it. He wanted to scream that she wasn't dead. He didn't want them to close the casket. It only meant that she was really dead.

At the actually burial, he watched as her casket was laid into the ground. He was shaking so hard that his knees grew weak and he actually collapsed onto them.

Looking back on it now, Harry stood up from the couch and said, "It wasn't fair."

He grabbed his firewhiskey glass and yelled. "IT WASN'T FAIR!" He then threw the glass into the fire where it shattered and the alcohol in the ale made the fire grow. The rug at the front of the hearth caught fire. Harry watched as the flames took hold of the rug and burned it down, much like the disease did to Hermione.

He then dumped the rest of the alcohol around the room and watched as he was soon surrounded by flames.

"I love you Hermione," he said. "I'll see you soon. We'll be together once again."

Those were his last words as the flames took hold of everything in the room including him.

Ron Weasley found him the next morning. They had had a wonderful funeral for him as well. At the burial Ron looked at the tombstones and let tears run down his face.

Harry Potter

Beloved Friend

Devoted to the One he loved

Hermione Granger

Hermione Granger

i Beloved friend, daughter, and lover.

"The heart sees what the eyes cannot."

I will love you till the end of time.

Harry Potter