There is one reason why this chapter is in here...for the middle part. I had the idea one day in English (I wrote this chapter a long time ago as well) and then incorporated it into this part of the game. The part of the game wasn't even significant...It IS if you have Edgar and Sabin both in your party -- the Coin Toss part -- but I didn't have Edgar along with everyone for one reason...because I wanted both Cyan and Sabin with Locke and Celes. I'll explain why later...lol! Anyway...The title of this chapter is from One Step Closer by Linkin Park.

20. One Step Closer

"Oh wow!" Sabin exclaimed when the four of them were able to see Figaro Castle. A boyish grin appeared on his face and he gently grabbed Celes' arm. She gave him a queer look, so he removed his hands, but it didn't dampen his high spirits. "I'm so excited! I have no idea why, but I am!"

"It's only normal to be excited to be back at your hometown again," Celes said, gazing over at Locke to see if he caught her alternate meaning. He narrowed his eyes as he looked straight ahead, so Celes figured she got to him. "I mean, I don't know what would cause someone to hate their own hometown—"

"Okay, I get the hint," he snapped at her and gently kicked the sand with the toe of his shoe, causing a cloud of yellow dust to fly in the air. "Let's drop the 'Locke doesn't want to go home' thing for a while. I'm heading back to Kohlingen, understood? I don't have a choice. Finding Terra is more important than me reminiscing right now."

Celes sighed in defeat and the four of them remained silent until they reached the front gate of the castle. Sabin was so excited that Locke thought the man was going to jump up and down or skip to the entrance.

"Sir Sabin!" One of the guards cried out when they recognized him. "Is that really you?"

"Yes, it is!" He replied happily as he gave the guard a hearty handshake and a pat on the back. He turned back to Celes, Locke, and Cyan with a large smile on his face and inhaled then exhaled happily. "This is like old times! I have to wander around for a while!"

Without another word, Sabin rushed into the castle, causing Locke, Celes, Cyan, and the guards to chuckle in amusement. Celes tapped Locke on the shoulder, pointed in Sabin's direction, and as she opened her mouth, Locke gave her a warning glare. "Don't even think about saying it."

"I wasn't going to say anything." She smugly blinked at him and he frowned at her. To not feel his glare, she put her hands on her hips and looked around at the castle. "Oh wow, this is a nice place."

"You expected less?" Cyan asked, a smile shining brightly on his face. "Oh my, this castle reminds me so much of Doma. I do believe I need to have a look around as well."

"Me too!" Celes added as the two of them walked in separate directions, leaving Locke alone in the middle of the castle's foyer, quite dumbfounded.

"Uh, I guess I'll let the mechanic know that we need to leave?" The two of them were out of earshot, so he shrugged and walked toward the Engine Room. He pushed on the heavy door and practically stumbled into the loud room. The heavy machinery located in the room whirred from the activity of running everyday tasks of the castle, and Locke found it difficult to hear himself think.

He turned the corner to see the conductor of the controls standing by a large control panel fiddling with something. Locke cautiously made his way over there, slightly grimacing at the loud noise. He didn't know how the conductor could work in a place like this. Not wanting to frighten the man by tapping him on the shoulder, Locke cleared his throat loudly.

The man didn't hear Locke over the machines, so Locke slightly stomped his foot on the ground as he cleared his throat again. This time, the man felt the vibration from the stomp, so he whipped around quickly and put his hand over his heart. He smiled when he saw the young man and held out his hand. "Locke Cole! Well, I'll be damned!"

"Hey," Locke said as he shook hands with the older man. "How's it been?"

"Eh, same old, same old," he replied with a chuckle as he wiped his hands on his shirt. Dark stains were left on the material from his grease stained hands, but the conductor didn't seem to notice or care. "What can I do for ya?"

Locke walked toward the controls and motioned with his head. "Well, since you don't look busy, I was wondering if you want to pull this lever for me."

The man chuckled at Locke and patted him on the back. "You haven't a changed a bit, have you? Anyway, there've been lots of requests this month! If it's your wish, I'll take you beyond the mountains! Want to go to Kohlingen?"

"Want to?" Locke repeated at he bit at his lip. "I wouldn't want to call this an act of want, but yeah. Kohlingen seems to be my next destination on my itinerary, so it would be fantastic if you could get me there."

"You're not the only one who has requested to go there today! A few other people wanted to go there for some goods and whatnot. Now I'll be able to kill a few birds with one stone!" The man told him as he put his hand on the controls. Locke smiled as the man let out a loud grunt and pulled down the lever.

Locke tried to convince himself that he was prepared, but he realized that he wasn't when the floor started to shake. He grabbed onto the railing with all of his might and grimaced as the loud machinery roared through the room.

After a few minutes of rumbling and shaking, it stopped and the machinery dulled down to a gentle humming again. Locke exhaled the breath he didn't notice he was holding and released the death grip he had on the railing. As he gently flexed his fingers, he realized that Figaro had gone under the mountains and he was now a stone throw's distance away from Kohlingen.

"Next stop Kohlingen!" The conductor announced, laughing at Locke's reaction to the submerging. His face was slightly pale and he felt his legs shaking. "Watch your step!"

"Th…Thanks." When he stood up straight, he waved to the conductor and started to walk up the stairs. It was a difficult task to have his legs obey the movements of climbing steps, but he eventually made it up to the foyer. "Okay, that's twice I've done that now. I never want to do it again."

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Later that night, Locke looked around and when he realized that the three other members in his party weren't in eye sight, walked around the castle. He found the staircase that led to the look out area and decided that was exactly where he wanted to be. It was the highest point of the castle, and he knew he would be able to see for quite a distance and have some peace and quiet.

He made his way up the stairs and exhaled when he reached the top. Slowly, he walked over to the stone wall and rested his forearms on the upper left hand corner of it, looking down first. A dizzy spell swept over him as he noticed the long fall, so he decided that it would be best not to lean over as far as he was or look down again. He looked toward the northwestern part of the continent, which was the direction of Kohlingen. The hot desert air whipped his hair around in his face, but it didn't faze him or ruin his thoughts.

Many things were unclear in his mind, but he was certain that he was not looking forward to the next morning. He had not been back to his hometown in several weeks, and bowed his head at that fact. It's been so long, Locke…why haven't you found a way to help her? She's depending on you…

"Ah, there you are!" Locke jumped about a foot in the air at the cheery sound of Celes' voice and whipped around. He put his hand over his heart and felt his pulse racing. "Whoa, are you okay?"

"You just scared the living hell out of me," he explained as she laughed. She looks so much like her…He thought with a twinge of pain as he watched her eyes light up from her laughter. As much as he wanted to look away from her, he felt his eyes fixated on her own.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she apologized as she walked next to him. She rested her hip against the wall that Locke was leaning against and crossed her arms. "I was wondering where you've been hiding. I haven't seen you since dinner. Are you sure you're all right? I've been worried about you."

"Why's that?" He asked as he turned back toward Kohlingen again.

"I'm quite aware that I don't know you very well," she began as Locke sighed. She ignored his reaction and continued. "But I do believe I can tell when someone's mind is somewhere else. Although I respect your privacy, you've been quiet since we've left Narshe and it concerns me."

"Celes, for the millionth time, I appreciate your concern and all, but it's not necessary. I don't want to talk about this with you." He didn't realize the harsh and impatient tone in his voice, but he was able to see her smile fizzle away. "Please don't look at me like that."

"No, it's okay, you don't trust me. Why would you? I'm just…an ex-general." She mumbled the last bit of her sentence, ashamed that she would carry that title for the rest of her life. Locke remained silent for he wasn't sure what to say. He didn't feel inclined to argue with her for he didn't want to lie.

It was true, he didn't trust her but he didn't want to bluntly say it to her face. It wasn't a personal hit toward the fact that she used to be a general, but his life consisted of him trusting people then only getting let down. He felt that if he didn't trust anyone, he would never get hurt.

"Let's just put it this way," he began to explain as he faced her. She slowly looked up at him, hurt still evident in her eyes but she humored him by listening. "There are things in both of our pasts that we would like to forget. Unfortunately, our pasts grip our hearts and mind so tightly, making it virtually impossible to let the memories go. You cry and scream to attempt to make the pain go away, but it never will. It never will, Celes. You can't bring back those people you were ordered to kill just like I can't forget certain things that happened in my past. It's just something that we're both going to have to deal with on a day by day basis, hoping that the memory will fade one of these days."

Tears sprang up in Celes' eyes, proving to Locke that she now understood. "The memories never will fade away…" She replied quietly as she looked down at her fingers. "They'll always be there."

"Yes, they will be," Locke stated as he exhaled. "However, I want to be able to fix this wrong. I want to be able to sleep at night without nightmares of myself reliving what happened."

"If you told me what is going on, I might be able to help you," Celes protested as Locke shook his head vehemently. "If you're not going to tell me, you can't mope. At least pretend to be in a good mood so I won't have to worry!"

"I don't want to talk about it with you," he said harshly. "I don't care if you get pissed at me, but I refuse to let you know what happened. I don't like to talk about it. Don't you have things that you don't want to talk about?"

"Yes, I do," she admitted as Locke studied her. The look of pain was clear on her face, and although he didn't want her to relive her memories, he was glad that she could remotely feel what he was going through. "Just like what happened in Maranda. I don't like that being brought up, and you just had to mention it."

With a sigh, Locke looked away from her. He knew it was a low blow by him bringing that up, but he still didn't feel remorse. She started to dig the toe of her shoe into the stone floor and kick at the grout that held the building together. Without even looking up at her, he continued to look toward Kohlingen. "Now you know how the past feels? This is what I'm going through right now. I've been going through this for the few weeks and bringing it up makes the pain become five times worse. Like I said before, these things happen and we can't change the past. We just…can't. Therefore, I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone and let me dwell on what happened and wish things didn't end up the way they did."

"Okay, fine, I understand," she said quietly as she looked down at her heels. After a second she started to walk toward the staircase, her heels clicking slightly louder than usual on the floor. "I can see that you're not going to change your mind, so I won't bother you about it anymore."

Locke heard her footsteps stop, as if she was waiting for an apology or him to say something, but he kept his lips firmly pressed together. After a few seconds of tapping her shoe against the stone floor, she let out a sigh, reached the stairs, and slowly walked to the lower level.

Although he didn't intend to make the impact of his statement so harsh, he was glad to be alone with the night air again. Talking about how he didn't want to talk about the situation only made him think more about it, so he clenched his hands into fists. Before he was able to do anything else, his moment of solitude was interrupted when he heard footsteps thumping up the stairs.

"Wow, I have no idea what you said, but I just walked past a girl who's almost upset enough to cry in my arms," Sabin quipped with a laugh as he walked toward Locke. "Keep up the angst attitude and I might just get lucky."

"I love how I come up here to be alone and I'm constantly interrupted," Locke informed Sabin with a grim look on his face. Sabin didn't catch onto Locke's sarcasm and leaned against the wall next to him.

"What can I say?" He started as he patted Locke on the back. "I saw a beautiful girl walk down the stairs who was pretty damn upset and I had to see what the cause of it was."

"It is definitely obvious that you and Edgar are related," Locke stated, causing Sabin to laugh some more.

"I still think that Edgar should make this castle run by all women. Whoo! Can you imagine the uniforms? I'm thinking a nice purple leotard with stilettos." Locke attempted a half smile as a dreamy look took over Sabin. "Oh, hell yeah, that would be amazing. I would definitely move back here."

"And make Celes your personal valet?" Locke asked as Sabin put his hand to his chin and tapped his upper lip with his index finger.

"I like the way you think," he said with a nod. "I think I should suggest that to Edgar. Do you think he'll go for it? I think he will."

"Just ask her to dinner or something," Locke suggested, thankful that Sabin was keeping his mind off of his past for a few moments.

"I would love to, but frankly, she's quite intimidating," Sabin explained as he let out a dramatic exhale. "I'd be afraid that she would kick my ass. She's a gorgeous girl though. And actually, I do love a girl who can kick my ass."

"Good luck," Locke said, avoiding a comment on her beauty. "I think you would have more of a chance with that sand dune over there."

Sabin looked at where Locke pointed and frowned. "Nah, not my type. Not lively enough." Locke rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle at Sabin's cheery demeanor. He knew that Sabin didn't have a perfect past either, yet he was able to keep his memories out of the way he acted. Why can't I do that…Locke thought to himself as he rubbed his fingers together. "See, here's the thing I don't understand about you, Locke."

"What's that?"

"Well, okay, when we left Mt. Kolts, you were in a good mood, ya know? You were joking around with Edgar, Terra, and I, and you seemed pretty upbeat," he began to explain as Locke shrugged. "So, now here you are; gloomy and thinking. I think I know what it is, but I don't want to open my mouth."

"I told you, Sabin," Locke began with a sigh. "I'm not looking forward to going back to Kohlingen. There're a lot of memories left there that I would rather not revisit."

"No, that's not what it is," he stated, causing Locke to look at him in question. Sabin studied him for a second then nodded his head. "Mm-hmm. Yep. I knew it. You like Terra."

Locke had to let out a laugh at Sabin's accusation. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm serious. You like her, don't you?" Sabin thought about her for a second then smiled. "She's gorgeous and she has power. Those are two very attractive attributes in a woman."

"Sabin…" Locke said with a warning tone in his voice. "She's a very nice girl, but I really am not looking for anyone at the moment. For the millionth time, I'm just trying to find her because I promised that I would protect her and watch over her until she got her memory back."

"I see, I see," Sabin said as he gently nudged Locke in the ribs with his elbow. "Protecting her, eh? That's just the knight in shining armor's subtle way of saying 'I want you!'"

"By the way Terra and I joke around with each other is more brother and sisterly than relationship like. But, think whatever you want to think," Locke replied with an entertained exhale, not wanting to argue with him even though he was wrong.

Sabin laughed as he took a step toward the stairs. "Look, why don't you come back inside? It's getting late."

"Yeah, that sounds like a damn good idea," Locke stated as he stood up and ran his fingers through his wind blown hair. "I could use some sleep before the day that we're going to have tomorrow. Now that I think about it, between going back to Kohlingen and worrying about Terra, I'm not so sure how much sleep I'm going to be getting."

"I think I just found your main problem; you worry too much," Sabin informed him as they approached the stairs. "Loosen up, yeah? There's nothing you can do about the past. It hurts, yeah, but the past is the past. And as for Terra? We're all worried about her but we'll find her. That's why we're going this way."

"Thanks, Sabin," Locke replied sincerely as he looked over his shoulder for one last glance at Kohlingen. "I know you're just trying to help, but I can't forget the past. No one can."

"You're impossible," he said with a slight chuckle. "Just get some rest tonight then, all right? Stop being so bone headed."

"Heh, thanks," Locke repeated as he and Sabin made their way down the stairs. They stopped when they arrived at the room that they would be staying in, but Sabin explained that he wasn't done looking around the castle. Locke waved him off then decided that it would be the best idea to try to get some sleep.