I love the way this chapter turned out...the ending of it seriously almost creeps me out every time I read it. As weird as it sounds, I feel like I've gotten to know Locke's character so much more in depth by writing an entire fic by him that I can 'feel' what he was going through...sounds creepy, I know, but it's true. The title is from a piece from Final Fantasy IX, but it works SO well with what goes on in this chapter. The funny thing about this chapter is that the beginning of it wasn't going to be connected to the ending. I originally had the ideas in two separate chapters, but then I realized that they could be in the same one as long as I made a decent and believable transition. I think it worked out rather well if I do say so myself. Oh yeah, more stuff is explained in this chapter...so yay.

21. Place of Memory

Locke blinked his eyes open as he heard the gentle chirping of birds from outside of his window. He looked around and saw that he was back in his room at the Quantz hideout and let out a smile of happiness. He put his hands behind the back of his head and inhaled the fresh spring air that was coming in through the open window. The room was just the way he remembered it; wooden floors, the tiny bookshelf on one of the walls, the mirror next to the dresser, the tiny bed that he was lying in, and the feeling that he was home.

'I'm back,' he thought to himself as he sat up and hung his legs over the side of the bed and let them touch the ground. He drummed his toes against the wood, feeling the course wood gently tickle them. He chuckled at himself then rested back down on his bed to look at the ceiling. With a gentle inhale, he heard the doorknob slowly turn. Sitting up once again, he looked at the door and saw it start to open and reveal the person who opened it.

"Rachel…" He exhaled as he saw the beautiful girl standing in the doorway. She was wearing an elegant white satin dress, white heels, and her hair fell down to the middle of her back. The necklace that she was wearing had a beautiful diamond hanging from the center; the Clemix Diamond. The purity of the green stone was so astounding that Locke thought he was going to be blinded every time it caught the light.

Looking up from the diamond, Locke saw that the smile on Rachel's face was even brighter. Her eyes sparkled in gaiety and her cheeks were a rosy pink from excitement; both features making Locke's heart flutter. For the first time in a long time, he felt happiness take over his body and soul. He started to get out of bed, but she held up her hand to stop him.

"Don't get up," she said in her gentle voice as she started to walk closer to the bed. She was walking so smoothly that it looked as though she was floating above the wooden floor as she made her way over to him. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Oh Rachel, I've missed you so much. I…failed you, I know, I'm so sorry…" He bowed his head in shame, but she put her finger over his lips to shush him.

"Shh, there's no need for that," she stated soothingly. Her gentle smile turned seductive as she put the hand that wasn't on his lips against his chest and pushed him backward onto his bed so he was flat on his back. Without saying a word, Locke watched as she giggled, then crawled in his bed and straddled his torso. Removing her hand from his lips, she placed it on the side of his face and left her other hand on his chest. Maintaining her smile, she gently pressed her lips against his in a loving kiss. "I'm here now, that's all that matters."

"Stay with me forever," he stated as she nodded in confirmation. Holding back tears, he brushed a tendril of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear as she stroked his cheek with her fingertips. He trailed his hand down the side of her face and cupped her chin and stared deeply into her eyes. She blushed from his gaze, but leaned over and kissed him once again.

He put his hands on the back of her neck to bring her closer to him, never wanting to let go. As she ran her fingers through his hair, he could feel the gold engagement band touching his skin, sending shivers up his spine. She giggled softly every time their lips met, causing Locke to exhale, almost as a silent moan.

In the middle of a passionate kiss, she gasped sharply in pain and backed away from him. He could feel something warm dripping against his stomach and instantly he looked at the source. Something had impaled Rachel through the stomach, and she was now bleeding profusely all over him.

"Rachel!" He cried as he held her in his arms, hoping his touch would have enough healing power in it to save her. Blood was dripping everywhere and Locke tried to find the cause of the wound, but nothing was there. It was as if the air itself had stabbed her, leaving no evidence behind. Tears started to stream down his face as he stroked her hair with one hand and held her up with the other. "I failed you again…Oh, Rachel…"

"Open your eyes," she whispered weakly as he looked at her in confusion.

"I'm already awake," he informed her, kissing her gently on the lips.

"Wake up, Locke." Her voice was labored and her body convulsed as she let out a sickening cough. Somehow she managed to muster up enough strength to continue and say; "Come on, wake up."

"Rachel…" Locke whispered, slowly fluttering his eyes open and his vision of Rachel started to fade away. "Don't leave me…"

"Locke! Wake up!"

Locke felt someone shaking his shoulders and he realized that the voice was no longer Rachel's, although it was coming out of her dissolving body. Locke's eyes flew open and saw Celes standing over him with her hands on his shoulders, trying to wake him up. He let out a yelp when he saw her and he tried to jump out of bed. Instead, his legs were tangled in the sheets, so he fell out of the bed and onto the floor in an ungraceful heap.

"Celes!" He cried when he stumbled to get back to his feet, his voice cracking in shock. She laughed at him and he dusted himself off with his hands in embarrassment. He avoided eye contact with her as he concentrated on picking up the sheets that were on the floor and put them back on the bed.

"Nice dream?" She asked him, still in hysterics. He slightly blushed and shook his head as he ran his fingers along the sheets.

"I wouldn't exactly call it a 'dream,'" he explained as he pretended to rub the sleep out of his eyes, but really was checking to see if he was not only crying in the dream, but in real life as well. Fortunately, his eyes were dry, so he wouldn't have to explain it to Celes. She raised an eyebrow at him but sighed when he sat down on the bed and slightly groaned. He could feel his heart beating rapidly from a combination of the nightmare and Celes waking him up, so he tried slowly breathing to calm it down. "I'm sorry, Celes. Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, you were screaming about something and it interrupted my beauty sleep," she explained playfully as she put her hands on her hips. "No, I'm just kidding. I was up already. I just came in here to wake you up and then you start calling me Rachel. Who's Rachel?"

"Celes, remember when we had that wonderful talk yesterday about how I don't like to talk about my past?" She nodded and he reached over and grabbed his boots that he placed next to the headboard of the bed the previous night. He continued as he started to put on the shoes. "That's my past. Therefore, I don't want to talk about it. I was just having a dream. Actually, one might call it a nightmare."

"Are you going to be okay?" She asked him as he slowly nodded. "I swear, I think that's about the twentieth time I've asked you that question in the last day and a half. I might as well stop asking you it because you keep giving me the same answer. 'I'm fine.'" She laughed as she mocked him and pretended to fix the invisible bandana around her head at the same time.

"I am fine," he replied as he noticed how his own hands were retying his bandana. She laughed harder and he gently pushed her. "Don't make fun of me! It's a habit from wearing a bandana nonstop the last few years."

"That was just too perfect," she explained as he finished tying his shoe. "You seriously fix that thing more than any girl fixes her hair, so I had to make fun of you for it sooner or later."

"Yeah, yeah," he said with a smile and gave her another gentle push. "So, I take it you woke me up so we could leave?"

"Yeah, it's about time we left, dreamer boy," she said as she pointed to the window. The morning sun was streaming in through the glass and lit up the entire room. "Look at the time, it's late already."

With a yawn, he stood up and stretched. "Sorry, I was tired I guess. I honestly didn't think that I was going to be able to sleep."

Ignoring his ramblings, Celes led him out to the foyer of the castle. "Hmm, I wonder where Sabin and Cyan are. I saw Sabin earlier this morning talking to the Chancellor so I'm assuming he's around here somewhere and Cyan went to find him. I don't think it would be a good idea if we left both of them here."

"I'm imagining that they wouldn't be too happy," Locke replied as he fixed his bed hair. Celes looked at him with a smirk on his face, so he chuckled at her. "What is it? I'm fixing my hair, not my bandana!"

"No, it's not that. It's just that I think you are seriously bi-polar," she stated, shaking her head and resting her hands on her hips. She was clearly amused and started to circle him as she inspected him.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he watched her go around him. He started to go in the same direction that she was, but stopped and put his hand on his forehead. "It's way too early for these kinds of games. You're making me dizzy."

"I'm just saying that yesterday you were cranky and now you seem to be in a pretty good mood," she explained as she stopped behind him. He slowly turned toward her and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that you had a nightmare?"

"I'm positive." He let out a huff and sighed as a shiver ran up his spine from the thought of the blood. "That's just the way I am. I have my secrets, that's all. I thought that everyone had secrets, so I didn't think it was a crime."

Before Celes was able to respond, Cyan, Sabin and the Chancellor opened the door and began to walk toward her and Locke. They were still talking amongst themselves and neither Celes nor Locke wanted to speak to interrupt them, so they listened to the conversation the three of them were having.

"We must be going," Cyan said politely to the Chancellor, giving a small bow with his head in respect. From the tone of voice he used, Locke could tell that he must've said that about six times already. "Thank you very much for your hospitality."

"Of course!" The Chancellor replied as Cyan walked over to Locke and Celes. Cyan motioned with his eyes to start to leave, but they noticed that Sabin wasn't with them; he was still talking to the Chancellor.

"Sabin, we're going out the door!" Celes announced in a sing song voice as Sabin quickly faced them all. Celes faced Locke and Cyan and said quietly, "It's like having a five-year-old!" Cyan and Locke chuckled as they looked over at Sabin to see the chocobo in airship headlights look in his eyes.

"Hey! Wait!" He cried out as he gave the Chancellor a quick handshake and another goodbye then ran over to the three of them. "Very funny, you guys! You know I'm going too!"

Celes gave him a pat on the arm and Cyan chuckled. "Of course we knew that!" Celes said as the guards shut the doors behind them. "Sometimes you just need a little coaxing, that's all."

"Ha ha," he retorted, although he was clearly entertained. To change the subject, he clapped his hands then rubbed them together in excitement. "Okay, does anyone know how far it is to Kohlingen?"

"About an hour walk," Locke replied as he pointed toward the horizon. "Well, that is; an hour walk with the speed that I usually walk at. If we keep going at the pace that we're going now, it's going to take us three days to get out of the desert."

Celes harrumphed and pointed to her shoes. "I would like to see you walk through sand in these."

"I'd rather not," Locke replied as he looked at his own boots. "I happen to like my shoes. High heels and I don't mix."

"Sir Locke, we shall pick up the pace then," Cyan stated as they all started to walk at a quicker pace toward the small town of Kohlingen.

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"You seem to be doing all right," Celes said as she noticed Locke's confident stride as they walked into Kohlingen. Instead of replying to her, he gave her a short nod. Although he looked secure, he had never felt more apprehensive in his entire life. "Where do you suppose we should go to start asking people if they've seen Terra?"

"This way," Locke replied, heading north. "This way we can ask people along the path to the item shop. Now that I think about it, the weapon and armor shop are right there as well, so we can see if they have anything worth looking at." As they walked along the side of the inn toward the item shop, Locke kept gazing toward the western side of town then quickly looking away. He repeated this several times, and after about the fourth time, Celes grabbed him by the arm and stopped him in his tracks. "What is it?"

"What's over there?" She asked as she started to walk past the item shop to feed her curiosity. Instead of stopping her, Locke started to follow her, feeling his heart race.

"Oh, nothing. I thought I saw a bird or something so I was just looking over there," he fibbed as she stopped walking when she saw the burned down house next to inn.

"My goddesses," she exhaled as she looked at it. She cautiously walked closer to it, almost as if she was afraid that something was going to leap out of the ruins and attack her. "What the hell happened here?"

"This house burned down about three weeks ago, Celes, by the wonderful people you used to work for," he informed her sarcastically as the memory swept through his mind. "Thankfully, no one was hurt. Well, no one from that house was hurt, anyway. Everyone escaped in time."

She gave him a queer look and he turned toward the item shop and away from the western side of town. Sabin and Cyan started to follow Locke, but Celes couldn't take her eyes off the house. "Are you sure? How do you know that?"

"I was here when it happened," he replied simply with a shrug, not wanting to go further into detail if he didn't have to. After a few minutes of Celes observing the house some more, she shook her head in shame and started to walk closer to the three men.

"Locke Cole?" Locke whipped his head in the direction where he heard his name called out from and saw an elderly lady walk over to him. He recognized her, but he couldn't put a name to a face. "Hey, 'zat you, Locke?"

"Yeah, it's me," he replied politely with a nod of his head. He searched his brain to see if he could remember who the lady was, but for the life of him, he couldn't. She reached out her arms for a hug, so Locke put his arms around her and squeezed gently. "How have you been?"

"Eh, I guess I can't complain. We're finally starting to get this town back on its feet," she replied with an optimistic smile. She saw Locke's face slightly fall with the memory, so she motioned to the east with her hand. "Have you stopped to see Rachel?"

Celes turned her head toward Locke in suspicion and narrowed her eyes at him. "Rachel? The girl in the dream?"

Ignoring Celes, he turned to the elderly lady and shook his head. "No, I haven't. I will while I'm here though. That is, if I get the courage to do so."

"You probably should. You know she would want you to." Locke bowed his head in agreement, although he didn't want to agree. She gently pinched his cheek and smiled at him. "Well, I've got to get going now," she replied as she brought Locke into a hug. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. Even though he couldn't remember her name or how she knew him, the consolation was a nice feeling. "You take care, you hear?"

"You as well, ma'am," he said with a slight smile as he watched her walk away. He felt Celes put her hand on his arm and he shook it off. "Okay, she's right. I need do this."

"You didn't answer my question," she said as Locke turned on his heel to walk toward the house to the north of the burned down one. Once again he ignored her as his pace gradually slowed down as he approached the door. "And, also, you need to do what?"

Sabin, Celes, and Cyan waited as Locke poised his hand about an inch from the doorknob. A few times he tried to put his hand on the knob, but would retract his hand as if the handle was too hot to be touched.

"Are you going to go in or not?" Sabin asked, raising an eyebrow. Locke knew that Sabin wasn't aware of what the situation was, but by his own actions, he could tell that Sabin had a clue that something was bothering him. Locke nodded as he placed his hand on the knob and held it there. "It's not going to open by itself you know. It usually helps if you turn your hand."

"Shouldn't you knock?" Cyan asked, staying polite as usual. "I'm sure the residents of the house wouldn't appreciate you inviting yourself in."

Before Locke was able to explain, a young woman walked up to them and began to speak. "Oh, you won't have to worry about that."

"Come again?" Cyan asked as the young woman smiled and curtsied in greeting.

"A girl named Rachel and her father used to live in that house, but after the attack…" she began to explain and trailed off with the memory. Locke took his hand off the doorknob and bowed his head as it ran through his mind. He could feel a lump rising in his throat and it took everything in his power to refrain from crying. "Well, anyway, now it's deserted. You can go in if you'd like."

"Thank you," Locke replied in a very quiet voice. The young woman nodded and continued to walk toward the southern part of town. With a heavy heart, he found the courage to put his hand on the doorknob and twist it.

As slowly as possible, he opened the door and took a small step in. The lights were out, so he could barely see anything in the dark house. Sabin flicked on the lights, causing Locke to jump in surprise. He glared at Sabin, who shrugged in apology. Locke took a few steps forward as he looked around, the three others staying close to the door. Everything was the same as he remembered it, and the sight gripped Locke's heart tightly.

"Locke?" Celes asked as he bowed his head and looked at his feet. A small dark trail caught his attention on the ground, and he again felt the panic that he felt several weeks ago. To the clueless eye, it could look like a trail of mud or dirt. However, to someone who was there when it was happened, they would clearly know that it was a trail of blood.

He went down on one knee and gently touched the ground where the stains were. The wood absorbed the liquid long ago, but the memory was still fresh in Locke's mind. Standing up again, he closed his eyes to prevent the tears from falling. Without facing the others, he whispered in an almost inaudible whisper, "…wasn't able to…save her when she needed me…"

As the others watched on, Locke relived the tragic memory in his mind.