Okay, I've never written for Naruto before, and I've created a fanfiction term here:

ATF (Aim to flame): n When one is expecting to receive flames.

Just... Don't be too mean, okay? I have a delicate self-confidence. Anyway, this was inspired by an argument with Taylor, my friend from art class, about whether or not Sasuke is Goth. After getting her to agree with me (through underhanded trickery), we somehow arrived at this. Quote: "Only you could think of Naruto as a narwhal." From Taylor to me. n.n

Summary: In this crazy world of mine, there are many people. The Goths. The preps. And the NARWHALS! Join Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura on their quest for the Holy Glue Stick of Azaroth as a cure for the strangeness brought upon them by the Magical Cookies of BuTtErFlY lAnD! Together they shall venture through the worlds of ANY NUMBER of anime, video game, or book characters that I've seen, played, or read! Warning: You will not find a single Naruto fic that's any more OOC...

Chapter 1: The Magical Cookies of BuTtErFlY lAnD!

Ed the Authoress was meandering along on her everlasting quest for the most random pee-in-your-pants humor she could find when she strayed out of Hyrule and into another world completely! Where did she turn up? In Termina? No. In Labrynna? No. In Holodrum? No.

Look carefully. What section is this fanfiction in?

If you guessed the world of Naruto, you get a hundred! If you guessed anything else, you FAIL and must repeat the entire six-year course.

Yes, Ed has wandered into Naruto and has had one niffeltypoot of an idea for the three main characters: Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. What does she have planned? You'll see. Oh, how you shall see…

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"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd, I'm hungry!" Naruto complained. "Shut up," Sakura muttered, weak from hunger. For some reason, they had been told there would be a picnic in the middle of that barren, desolate wasteland they were now in. There were no people. There was no food. There was no picnic. After hours of trekking, the stark arid desert had rendered them starving and foodless. Naruto had tried to eat a local cactus, but… Well, the details are far too morbid to go into. Let's just say it's a good thing they had antibiotic cream. How was he to know there was a poisoning scorpion in that cactus? How the hay did a poisonous scorpion get into that cactus? Who cares about a cactus!

Someone cared about the cactus. There was a bright flash of light behind the trio, followed by a cloud of smoke. A short brunette in a striped shirt ran from behind a cactus (see? See?) and into the center of the smoke screen. When the haze settled, she thrust her arms about her head, a plate of cookies cradled on her palms. "Do ya want one?" she asked as she lowered the plate, offering it to Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.

Naruto, of course, dove right in, stuffing about three dozen of the cookies into his mouth. Sakura only hesitated momentarily, then took a few and devoured them happily. Sasuke was the most cautious of the group. "What kind of cookie is it?" he asked warily. Ed glared.

"Just take it, ya flippin' Goth."

"Yes, ma'am…"

So Sasuke also ate some cookies. They ate lots and lots of cookies. It seemed Ed's plate was endless, always producing more cookies. They were too busy eating to notice the demented Authoress sitting behind them with an Easy-Bake Oven. Oh well.

Eventually the cookies did stop coming. "HAHAHAHAH!" Ed laughed maniacally. "You just ate the Magical Cookies of BuTtErFlY lAnD (capitalization required)! Now you'll become your polar opposite! BEWARE!"

Sakura sneezed. When she had recovered from the violent outburst of nasal mucus, her eyes were dark and evil looking. "What the…?" she said in an emotionless voice. "My hair is pink? Pink! PINK!" she screamed. "I seriously need to get to a hair salon and get it dyed black…"

"I'm with you, girlfriend!" Sasuke said with a valley girl accent. "But why on earth do you want to dye your hair black? It's pink, the best color ever! I'm so going to dye my own hair hot pink! What do you think, Naruto?" The Gothic-dressed prep turned to his blonde companion.

"Narwhal narwhal," narwhalled Naruto. "WTF, narwhal! My polar opposite is a narwhal, narwhal!"

Ed the Authoress's face could be compared to this: X3

"Yes!" she screeched. "The new Goth, the new prep, and the NARWHAL! You shall remain this way until you find and eat the Holy Glue Stick of Azaroth! To find such a relic, three of them nonetheless, you must venture through MY WORLD!" Ed threw her arms to the sky. Literally. She detached her arms and threw them up. Don't ask how she managed to throw stuff without arms…

Anyway, once in the sky, the arms pointed to the sun and some DIMENSIONAL SHIFT occurred. When they looked around themselves, they found they had been sent to Crossover Land! What is Crossover Land? Allow me to explain.

From the fanfiction written by Ed, you'd think she only liked Zelda. Far from it. Ed likes all kinds of anime and video games, not to mention manga! Crossover Land is this insane little world in her mind where it all comes together. Do not, however, be deceived. This is a Naruto fic, featuring Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. GUEST-STARRING all kinds of characters! Lesson over! Back to the fic.

Sasuke gazed across the magical looking plain of Crossover Land. "Like, where are we?" he asked, retaining his girlie accent. "I hate this place," Sakura grumbled as she ground a nearby tulip to medicinal powder. "Narwhal!" narwhalled Naruto.

Suddenly a short blonde child with a green tunic ran up to them. "What are you doing in the moon?" he inquired as he pulled out a funky mask with funky patterns drawn on it. When the funky kid put on the funky mask, he turned into a funky GOD! Oh yeah!

"He's a ferocious god, narwhal," Naruto narwhalled. "Ooh, he's a hottie!" Sasuke squealed as he drew fangirly hearts on a mysteriously obtained notebook with a feathery pink pen that wrote in pink ink. "Evil…" hissed Sakura.

Oni Link's face could be compared to this: O.o

Like I said, ATF, but be generous. I, personally, think it's kinda funny! n.n Well, a review sure would be nice. Oh, and lots of flames! The more flames I get, the more pork fried rice the Chinese restaurant down the street can cook for me! X3

It's going to get weirdo. MUCH weirder. Beware. It'll have Zelda, Inuyasha, s-CRY-ed, Dragon Knights, Tales of Symphonia, and ANYTHING ELSE I CAN THINK OF! -thumbs up- And everywhere they go, you will see the trail of smoke indicating the havoc and chaos they hath wrought upon the land... Muahahahahah!

Allow me to reiterate: A review sure would be nice! And I'm open for suggestions! -looks around- The leg on my stool is loose...