The Leviathan
Carth gets PMS-y as they make their escape.
Rated PG13
Disclaimer: I am the disclaimer, and therefore I disclaim with a disclaimer in my disclaimer box. Disclaim-ily.
The Leviathan
Carth watched with horrified eyes as Revan and Malak went at it. He had never seen her fight that way, with so much hatred and so much energy. Malak kept spinning out of the way and trying to kick her rather than use a blade. Did he want to save her?
Carth fought the stasis, wanting to help, but he was useless as ever. He couldn't even muster the strength to moan.
Revan delivered a crippling blow to Malak's stomach. Malak convulsed, turning clammy, and ran, leaving Revan in a whirlwind. Revan turned lazily in the air, her face screwed up as she tried to fight it.
When the whirlwind ended Revan took off. A few moments later Carth gasped as the stasis on him was released. He sank to his knees, flushed and shaking. Bastila was gone, having followed Revan through the door. But a moment later she swore and came back the other way. Carth followed, staggering as he got used to his loosened muscles.
He stopped as Bastila began fiddling with the door. There were screams on the other side.
"Hurry!" Carth found himself crying, without his consent.
"I'm hurrying!" Bastila snapped.
The door opened, revealing Malak and Revan. They were on the floor, and Malak had Revan between his legs as he beat her head ruthlessly on the floor. She moaned and squealed with pain, her face changing from red to white, her teeth clenched as tears streamed down her cheeks. Carth started for her, but Bastila was ahead of him.
"This isn't over, Malak!" she shouted.
Malak dismounted. Revan tried to stagger to her feet but fell again, and lay there, moaning in pain. Carth grabbed her by the collar and dragged her away from Malak, his blaster pointed right between the Sith Lord's eyes.
Malak didn't strike. He was speaking to Revan, who was dizzied and ill on the floor. He instead spat at Revan and said, "Your friends do not give up easily, Revan; you always could inspire loyalty. But even the three of you together cannot stand against my power!"
"FOR THE JEDI!" Bastila screamed, and flung her lightsaber. It struck Malak in the gut hilt-first. Bastila ran forth, sending Carth and Revan back with a firm push in the Force. "I'll hold Malak off. You two get out of here! Find the Star Forge!"
Carth jumped to his feet again, panicked and shocked. Malak was already overtaking her, laughing to himself. "No, Bastila!" Carth cried. He couldn't allow himself to lose a friend… another person so close to him. "He's too strong!" The door was closing. In a final roar of panic he screamed, "NOOO!" He banged on the door, but it wouldn't open. He punched the buttons. Locked. He tried to pick the locks, but the door was sealed. Swearing, he screamed with frustration.
Revan was getting unsteadily to her feet, moaning. He ran to her, grabbing her by the shoulders.
"The door's sealed, we can't get past! Come on, we have to get to the Ebon Hawk!"
Revan stared up at him with wide eyes. "What about Bastila? We have to help her!"
Carth shook his head, feeling his lips go clammy with his distress. "Bastila doesn't stand a chance against Malak, but we can't help her. Not here. We have to get off this ship and find the Star Forge. That's the key to beating the Dark Lord!"
"But…"
Carth shook her and she cried out with surprise at his gruffness. He was angry now – it was all her and Malak's fault. It was hard enough coping with Bastila's death… he didn't need to have it seem pointless. "Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away. We can't let her sacrifice be in vain! Come on!"
Shaking and blubbering, Revan nodded, and he released her, sprinting for the hangar bay.
He could hear her breath on his heels as the door whooshed open and they scrambled onto the Ebon Hawk.
------
On their way out they were attacked by some fighters. Apparently they weren't getting out without a big struggle. Revan rushed up to the gun turrets and blew them to bits, and she returned with tears in her eyes and heavy heart.
Once they were a safe distance from the Leviathan, they reconvened in the main area. The rest of the crew looked worried, and Carth admitted they had a good reason to. Revan stood there, half-way in the shadows, her head bowed in shame.
Jolee looked them over. He started. "Hey! Where's Bastila? What happened on that ship?"
Carth stood up straight, ignoring Revan's silent sniffles. "We ran into Malak," he said. "He would have killed us, but Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away."
Mission went pale. Tears welled up in her eyes and her voice was soft. "You mean she's… she's dead?"
Jolee waved a hand. "Bah." All eyes snapped to him. A few jaws dropped. Jolee continued. "Malak won't kill her, don't be foolish. He'll want to use her battle meditation against the Republic. Turn her to the dark side and the Sith will always be victorious."
Revan wiped a tear away. "We have to go back for Bastila!" she cried. "Please!"
Carth glared at her. For once in his life he could find no pity or affection for her. She had killed Bastila, for surviving Malak's attack, for not killing him when she had the chance. "Not so fast!" he snapped. "We've got a bigger issue to deal with here. They deserve to know the truth about you. Do you want to tell them what Malak said, or should I?"
Revan's tears dried right up. She got right in his face, sending him stepping backwards. "I don't care what Malak said! I'm not Darth Revan! I AM NOT!"
Carth opened his mouth to rebuke, but Mission cut in, sounding scared. "Revan? What… what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"
Carth spoke with a cruel irony. The idea burned him as well. To think he had been so attached to this woman… the monster that had destroyed his life… to fall prey to her charms and lies… it stung worse than anything. "Oh, it's no joke. The Jedi Council captured Revan and erased the Dark Lord's mind, programming it with a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the Leviathan, and Bastila confirmed it!" He looked defiantly at Revan.
Mission looked faint and spoke in a high-pitched, squeaking voice. "You're Darth Revan? This is… this is big! Oh my gods! Do you… do you remember anything about being the Dark Lord?"
Revan shook her head. "Small bits. A few strange dreams and visions. That's all."
Mission seemed to deflate. "Just a few flashes? That's it? Nothing more? Then I don't think there's a problem."
"WHAT?" Carth yelped.
"It seems to me that if you don't really remember being Revan, then it doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now, right?"
Revan nodded, her eyes growing wide with gratefulness. Carth burst out, appalled.
"Of course it still matters! How do we know more memories won't come flooding back? How do we know Revan won't suddenly turn on us? The whole time we've been chasing Malak we've had his old Sith Master right at our side; listening to our secrets; hearing our plans!" His paranoia had kicked in after its long hibernation. It was like a security blanket and he held onto it with all his might.
Revan was crying again, drawing herself up. Tears fell wet and obvious to the floor, even as she tried to wipe them away. Zaalbar growled softly with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Carth…" Revan moaned. "I wish it wasn't true."
Carth snorted but Mission shot him a reprimanding glare, and for the first time he quailed before a child. "Hey – you've got nothing to be sorry about!" she said, resting a hand on Revan's shoulder. "You didn't ask for this! Besides, I know you… you're not Revan anymore. Whatever you used to be, you're one of us now!"
Zaalbar nodded. "I agree with Mission," he roared warmly. "I swore a life-debt to the person you are, not the person you were."
Mission smiled at him, looking back to Revan. "Big Z and I will stick by you. We owe you our lives. We won't desert you now!"
Carth sputtered, now so stricken he couldn't keep track of himself. "How can you say that, Mission?" he blurted. "The Sith bombed my home world! Revan took away my family and destroyed my life!"
Revan gasped and her sobs doubled. Mission wrapped her scrawny arms around her friend in a comforting hug.
Canderous stirred from his silence. "Everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to attack your people, Carth," he said, squaring his shoulders to tower over the man. "You can't blame Revan for that!"
Carth finally gave up. He couldn't take on a Wookiee and this Mandalorian too. "I suppose you've proven yourself to be a friend of the Republic so far… Revan. But can I trust you? Can any of us?"
Revan calmed herself down, looking to Canderous with tear-filled eyes and wobbling lips. She spoke in a shaking, weak voice. "What do you think, Canderous?"
Canderous laughed. "You defeated the Mandalore clan in the war, Revan. You were the only one in the galaxy who could best us. We had never met one like you before, and never since. How can you even ask if I will follow you? Whatever you're fighting, it will be worthy of my skill. I'm your man until the end, Revan, no matter how this plays out." Carth shot him a glare. So it was that way, was it?
Revan's voice gained some volume. Though her eyes still shined with tears and her voice was slightly slurred, she stood up straight. "What about you, Jolee?"
Jolee raised an eyebrow. "What about me? I already knew who you were, though it wasn't my place to tell you. Better off that you know, if you ask me. Does it change anything? I'm not here to judge you. You'll do what you have to, and I'll help if I can."
Revan was smiling as she turned to her assassination droid. "What do you have to say, HK-47?"
HK-47 looked uneasy. "Commentary: I am… experiencing something unusual, master…"
Jolee stepped away a foot or so.
Revan blinked. "Why? What's happening?"
HK-47 was speaking slowly, coming to terms with whatever was the problem. "Observation: My homing system is a function of my assassination protocols… that which I told you had been de-activated. This system was not. It seems that my homing system deliberately restores my deleted memory core upon…" – and here his voice grew loud and awed – "upon returning to my original master!"
Carth was dumbstruck. He lost track of himself for a moment, but he quickly recovered.
Revan frowned. "You mean… Revan?"
HK-47 nodded. "Affirmation: Correct, master. Sith protocols maintain that all droid knowledge be deleted before assassination missions, and restored upon return. I have returned to you, and my full functionality is now under your personal command. It is a distinct pleasure to see you again, master."
Revan looked uneasy. "I'm not exactly Revan anymore, HK-47…"
HK-47 shrugged. "Observation: That does not matter, master. I am your droid, regardless of your actions or personality."
Mission's voice was a mix between shock, awe, confusion, and amusement. "Wow. What are the chances of that happening?"
Canderous rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. "Remember we're talking about the Force here," he said calmly. "At this point Malak himself could drop out of the sky and I wouldn't bat an eyelash."
Jolee actually snorted and Mission grinned. "Good point," she said.
Lastly, Revan turned to T3-M4. She got to her knees, looking straight at the little droid. "You won't abandon me, will you, T3?"
T3-M4 whirred pleasantly and rubbed against her hand like a strange mechanical cat.
Mission smiled with satisfaction. "I knew the little guy would come through for you. Droids don't hold grudges."
"Oh?" HK-47 nodded his blaster in her direction. Mission turned a shade greener and looked away.
Revan turned to Carth, no longer crying, but instead filled with hope now that the rest of the crew still loved her. "Well, Carth, will you stand with me against Malak?"
Carth could hardly believe it. He had been turned on. He spoke grudgingly, his head hung. "Well, the other seem to trust you," he muttered, struggling to find the light side of the situation. "And I don't see any other way that we can stop the Sith. And I suppose that Malak is the real enemy here… I really don't have any other choice, do I?"
Revan made a strangled noise. He felt a guilty sting in his throat but he fought it back. Already he was giving up? No! He wouldn't allow it! But the gnawing sensation had started up in his gut.
He hated himself.
Damn you, Carth Onasi, to hell, and then some, amen.
Revan spoke then. "I'm not Revan anymore, Carth. You have to believe that."
The gnawing in his gut rose up to his throat to form some awful words so that Carth felt like he was vomiting. "I want to believe you. You've proven yourself time and time again during our mission, but this is a little much to wrap my mind around." Apologies. Weakness. Trust. He didn't like any of them. He bit his tongue harshly but it hurt, so he stopped. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and his stomach erupted again with guilt. He felt torn and dizzied between his anger, confusion, and shame. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself to listen as Revan spoke.
"You have to try… Please."
He swung his head, trying to clear his mind. It didn't work. "This must be even more of a shock to you!" he spouted. He gave up. He was dead in the water. Let his sick body do what it wants. He didn't care anymore. "I don't even know how you keep going! I guess we both just have to find a way to push forward."
"Ew," Mission breathed. Revan craftily backhanded her without being noticed by anyone but Carth.
Carth felt himself regurgitate more. "Don't worry – I won't let my personal feelings get in the way of my assignments or this mission." DAMN IT! He absently began searching for something sharp to stab himself with. Suddenly the sick feeling passed, and he snapped back to his detached paranoia. "But don't forget: I've sworn an oath to defend the Republic! As long as this mission stays on course I'll stick with you. But I won't let you betray the Republic under any circumstances!"
Revan nodded, looking as if she had been torn up from inside. Again the awful feeling of guilt swelled up from the floor and swallowed Carth whole. No one could see him as he was dragged down to hell and hung by his entrails. It was just as well.
When he came to, everyone was waiting for him to speak again. He coughed. "So I guess that's it, then… we keep going. We've still got one more Star Map to uncover if we're going to find that Star Forge and save Bastila, so let's do it before it's too late." And with that, he turned on his heel and walked calmly to the lavatories, where he locked himself up and screamed.
------
The End
------
Author's Notes: And that concludes The Leviathan. I hope you enjoyed it! Now I only have three other fanfics to finish. Eep.
Ewanlover64 – Thank you very much. Your support means a lot to me.
SilverSentinal21 – I figured it the moment I finished the game. To me it just seems like it's the most likely thing to have happened. But I don't believe in sex before marriage either, but I use it for creative purposes in stories. And I always figured that Carth fixed the armor on a workbench to get it to fit, you know?
Revan's Lost Soul – Like totally thank you. Or something. oo wtc
Amme Moto – Thank you, luff! I usually write off the top of my head. People assume I pre-plan. I don't. I just go with the flow with only a few little handholds here and there, like a plot I can mold to my liking. The Aftermath wasn't supposed to include Jax, but halfway through a chapter I was like, "You know what?" And thus Jax appeared.
LongshotOR – I didn't make Revan invincible, sure, but I certainly didn't make her as weak as I would have liked. It still bugs me. I may fix it someday.