Thanks to a certain someone, the end of this chapter is dedicated to plowing down Sasuke. Feel free to thank Miss Kira once I leave.
My 'replies' (reply-ish things) were done somewhere in "The Final Adventure" if you want to read them. For now, here's the chapter!
Chapter 4: The Great FedEx Migration!
"Oh em gee!" Sasuke said as he looked around the classroom. In case you didn't get it, that was "OMG" spelled out… Yeah. Well, anyway. Sasuke then pulled out little pink flowers and braided them together, then put the finished product behind his ear. Sakura was staring out the window cackling maniacally at the maimed and broken form of the not-teacher on the ground gurgling something about detention. Naruto figured out that his name and the word 'narwhal' both start with the same three letters, so he was pretty happy.
"Who are and what are you doing in my classroom!" Kagome snapped. All of a sudden another interdimensional portal opened up and a helluva lot of FedEx trucks plowed through the classroom. Students screamed and scattered and did other stuff that starts with an 's' that I can't think of. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kagome stared at the FeExes. One of them veered off to the side and stopped in front of the… umm… (insert term for a group of four people here).
"Hello," it said in a Swedish accent. Naruto gave it a sugar cookie. "Oh, heavens no!" the Swedish FedEx rejected. "Have to watch my figure this year. Otherwise Kirnigerts will move in on Schwartz and I'll never have my chance with him! Why not give your treat to Chunky here?" The truck gestured to Kagome, who was fuming.
Naruto stuffed the cookie into her mouth and she turned into a fire hose… Um, or not. She turned into…
(insert drum roll here)
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(drum roll continues)
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(drum roll reaches its crescendo)
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A PORPOISE!
"Porpoise porpoise?" purpoised Kagome. Naruto's eyes turned into little hearts. "Narwhal narwhal!" he narwhalled in reply. They then did the Electric Slide. Sasuke nudged Sakura, who hissed and put on some death metal. Then the not-teacher burst through the door.
"No unauthorized dancing!" he wiggled. … Yes, wiggled. His head was kinda backwards and his legs bent in the wrong direction and one of his ribs was sticking out through his back and his spine bone was visible and his lower jaw was missing and one of his eyes was stuck in his nostril and his skull was bashed in and his hand was stuck in the soup that was his exposed brain and he was missing three ears. Luckily, he still had five left.
"It's a zombie, porpoise!" Kagome screeched/porpoised. The FedEx flow was lessening so they all leapt through the portal the trucks were disappearing through. Including the not-teacher. Where did they come out?
IN FEUDAL JAPAN, BABY! Naruto fell out backwards, his leftover cookies scattering all around. It just so happened that Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kilala, and Shippo were present. Shippo and Kilala immediately dove on the cookies.
"NooooooooOOOOooooooooooOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo!" Naruto screamed as a warning. Shippo and Kilala didn't exactly catch it. Since Sango's little pet demon was the smallest, she became her opposite first. What did Kilala turn into? Kirara. That's right, she became her Japanese self. Hey man, I'm not exactly getting paid here. What more do you want?
Shippo transformed moments later. Well, his psyche transformed. What did Shippo become? He turned into one of those cheap McDonalds Furbeys from forever ago! The kind where you have to move its feet to make its eyes move.
"OMIGAWD! OMIGAWD! OMIGAWD!" Shippo cried repeatedly. His eyes were incredibly watery. "I can't blink! Someone help! Someone help! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllp!" Inuyasha came up and stomped on the fox demon's feet.
"OUCH, Inuyash—ahhhhh…" Shippo sighed in relief. As long as weight was applied to his feet, his eyes were closed. As soon as Inuyasha moved, his eyes shot open again. "AAH! My eyes! Help! Someone step on my feet! Someone—ahhhh. Thanks, Miroku," Shippo thanked as Miroku stomped on his toes.
"What kind of food is this?" Miroku wondered aloud as he picked up one of the Magical Cookies of BuTtErFlY lAnD. He took a bite without waiting for an answer. He blinked at Naruto and Sasuke's shouting for him to desist. He raised an eyebrow. Then he spotted Sakura.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! FEMALE!" he shrieked. He proceeded to run in circles, screaming about evil women out to molest him and their cooties. Sakura sighed and put on a hat. Miroku ceased his thrashing about instantly and tied a little white priest's collar around his throat. "Why hello there, little sir," he greeted in a chastely voice as he extended a hand to Sakura. She twitched, but took his hand. At that moment, a wind kicked up and blew off Sakura's hat. Miroku's eyes were, like, really big. Take a grapefruit and… well, not that big. Pretty durn big, though.
"FEMALE! WOMAN! GIRL! NOT-BOY! Keep it awaaaaaaaaaay!" he demanded as he huddled behind Inuyasha. The half demon had occupied himself with munching on cookies in the meantime and had already become his polar opposite. "Hugs not drugs, man," he said, making a peace sign, as he dyed his shirt-pants-ensemble-thingummy rainbow colors.
"Porpoise porpoise porpoise!" Kagome porpoised. "What did she just say?" Sakura growled as she turned to Sasuke (much to her discontent). "I think she said porpoise porpoise porpoise," Sasuke replied with a preppy grin. Sakura sighed in frustration and proceeded to stab herself repeatedly with a stalk of grass.
Sango was adding things up from the sidelines. "Inuyasha is acting like a hippie, Kagome's vocabulary is limited to the word 'porpoise', Miroku is afraid of women, Shippo is a McDonalds Furby, Kilala is Kirara, and there's an undead not-teacher beside me doing disco…" she concluded. "I am so outta here." She then turned and left, quickly. Kilala-rara followed her, mewing all the way.
Then an airplane plowed down Sasuke.
Then FedEx cars plowed down Sasuke.
Then a cruise line plowed down Sasuke.
Then the fangirls plowed down Sasuke.
Then some Tupperware plowed down Sasuke.
Then an ocarina plowed down Sasuke.
Then a 3D egg puzzle plowed down Sasuke.
Then a band member plowed down Sasuke.
Then Miroku plowed down Sasuke.
Then a hardback book plowed down Sasuke.
Then Sasuke plowed himself down.
All this plowing left Sasuke ready to be fertilized and sown, then rained upon.
And all the screaming fangirls' faces could be compared to the following: ;-;
X3 So fun to write this stuff.
Hey, hey! Remember! The deadline for my art contest in in less than a week! See my profile for details! There are still NO entries! Won't someone please enter?