This lie in me.
You told me once my smile inspires you. That my very presence give you hope….meaning. I don't know how true that is but I wish someday I could feel the same, get the chance to live a life where someone could make me want to keep going. My life is a lie, greater then that of our leader Kai. Heh! Our poor phoenix suffered as he has at least the lie has finally been freed and people stood by him, they wanted to know why and how they could help. I don't think anyone could forgive my sins and accept that behind my painted face is an unending darkness. A sad lonely person that just wants freedom. I will never have that, my heart is hackled with grief.
I remember once you wanted to know, you thought you saw something behind my smile. You words will never leave me.
"Rei what's wrong?" Those three words, how could it touch me so much? It was the most kindness I had ever felt. I was so shocked it took me a moment to reply. Those words nearly spilled my lies. But he walked in, laughing! Laughing!
"how do you spell monkey balls?" he asked. And my chance was gone. I smiled and laughed
"m.o.n.k.e.y.b.a.l.l.s" I replied, he counted the letters off on his fingers.
"damn!" he ran off and my chance was gone. It was so stupid. Just another thing on my list. And so I will let my smile continue, until the end of time, whenever that may be. I can only hope you will be there and if you could accept my lies then maybe I will feel the same and smile with all my heart, no longer a painted face.
((AN: ok, I wrote this as my twin challeneged me during an English class to write an angst fic with the word 'monkeyballs' in it. I wrote this in about 15 minutes so excuse it's poor quality! Review!))