Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooo very, very much for those who reviewed this and Why, my other story. Check it out, even though it is slash. See reviewer response at the bottom.

Once again, this is a total MS, but not a Legolmance or an Aramance for that matter. Also contains my crappy attempts at humor and parody. Plus, it has some cursing, violence, insanity, nudity… Oh wait, wrong warning. Or is it….? –grins-

Disclaimer- If I owned LOTR, then JRR Tolkein would sic his purist army on me, for obvious reasons.

When Smurf and Co. rode into Rivendell, Smurf, who had been prattling on about something or another, fell silent.

Legolas stopped dreaming about a nice orc attack, just to shut Smurf up for awhile. So when Smurf fell silent, he looked up to see if fantasies had come true and she would be quiet. He say it was Rivendell and prodded Aragorn with an elbow to wake him. Aragorn was sleeping against his back and had been for quite some time.

Aragorn awoke with a snort and was about to smack Legolas for waking him, but then he saw Rivendell and realized that Smurf had stopped blathering.

"Rivendell," He cried joyfully, while thinking, 'Home!'

Smurf caught her breathe as she drank in the sights. This was Rivendell and for an elf obsessed fangirl, it was Heaven. She did what any rampaging fangirl who had just seen Rivendell would do. She screamed. Very, very loudly, she screamed a scream of pure delight. Legolas's and Aragorn's hair blew back from the force of a fangirl scream as they vainly attempted to cover their ears.

(A/N- I am deeply sorry if I offended anyone with the Heaven comment, but I do believe in Heaven and God and yadda, yadda.)

Lord Elrond came running out of his study, thinking an attack was going on. When he reached the steps leading inside, his jaw dropped. There, in front of his house, was his son and Legolas, both unharmed none the less, and a strange girl, the latter being the cause of the noise. Being a gracious host, he came down to meet them. "Greeting, ion-nin, Prince Legolas and mi-oof."

Right after Elrond had kind of finished his greeting, Glorfindel and the twins came skidding out of the house, wondering what all the noise was. "Mellon-nin what's all the commot-?" Glorfindel started but couldn't finish for laughter.

A strange girl had his best friend and lord in a vice-like grip around the middle. Aragorn and Legolas, miraculously unharmed after going orc hunting, jumped off of Snow and hurriedly pried her off Elrond. "I apologize for Smurf's reaction ada. She reacted much in the same manner when she first met Legolas and myself." The girl tried to get away, but Aragorn had too tight a grip on her arm. "You have to introduce yourself before attacking an elven lord."

"Oops, sorry Lord Elrond," the girl blushed a bright pink and then smiled brightly. "I'm Smurfalina Cookie Murphy, but everyone just calls me Smurf. Behind you," she pointed to Glorfindel, Elladan and Elrohir, "Must be Glorfindel, Elrohir and Elladan." Smurf pointed to each elf as she named them, but made to oh so common mistake of mixing up the twins.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lady Smurfalina. Behind me is Glorfindel and my twin sons, only you mixed up their names. Elladan is on the left, while Elrohir is next to him."

"Oops." Smurf blushed again. "I'm sorry Elladan and Elrohir. Please, Lord Elrond, call me Smurf." Under her breathe she muttered, "Goddammit, I'll never get those two right."

With the remarkable hearing of elves, Elladan had heard her muttered comment and smiled, used to it by now. Stepping forward to flank his father, he asked Smurf, "Was it you who kept our dear friend and even dearer brother safe from harm and all things evil."

Aragorn's eye twitched as his father joined in the teasing. It wasn't their fault trouble had a habit of following them everywhere.

"Indeed," Elrond was saying, "I was beginning to wonder which one would collapse from a broken bone or poisoning or whatnot." Chuckling, the lord of Rivendell led the group inside, including a wide eyed Smurf.

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(A/N Please don't murder me for the harmless little diversion. If you do, no more updates!)

On the floor of a hippie style home, we see two adults sitting on the floor.

"Honey," The male asked the female.

"Yes muffincheeks?" replied the female.

"Sugarbutt, didn't we have three children?"

"I don't know stud monkey."

"Oh. Pass the bong then cookieface." So the parents of Smurf commenced smoking their weed and forgot all about Smurf. Bad luck for our Middle Earth friends.

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About ten minutes after we left Smurf, she was just being shown her guest room, after glomping Glorfindel so hard he passed out. The twins had been cornered and hugged, but otherwise they liked the new girl.

When she was shown her room, Smurf went over to the wardrobe. She took in the sight of the beautiful elven dresses that had been left for her. Unfortunetly, she severly disliked dresses. Wandering around for about five minutes, a kindly servant directed her to Lord Elronds study. Upon arriving, after walking into three elves, four corners and a wall, she reached the study. Knocking on his door, she looked up at him innocently. "Lord, Elrond, can I have a tunic instead of a dress?"

Elrond was a reasonable elf and although it was uncommon for a female elf to wear a tunic, it was not unheard of. Aldaril, Legolas's cousin, wore tunic unless she was forced into a dress. So he agreed.

Soon after her request had been granted, Smurf was sinking into a nice warm bath thoughtfully prepared for her by the servants.

Three hours later, Legolas and the twins were knocking on her door. Smurf shouted, "Go away! I'm enjoying my bath.

Legolas yelled back, "Dinner will ready in an hour. Be ready by then."

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An hour later, Smurf's hair was braided back in a neat braid and she was sitting at dinner, conversing politely with the others. Glorfindel was staying away from the reach of her arms and the twins kept asking her questions. Finally Lord Elrond broke in.

"Enough, enough you two. So Smurf, where are you from?"

Smurf blanched. "I come from McHenery."

Aragorn, who was conveniently sitting next to Smurf, started to say, "But wait. Didn't you say you came from B-" Smurf stomped on his foot and he quickly stifled any objections to her place of residency.

"Oh?" Elrond said, doing his trademark eyebrow raise. "I don't believe I've ever heard of McHenery. Pray tell, where is it?"

Smurf smiled shakily and crossed her fingers beneath the table. "It's on the shores of the Sea of Rhun. It's a small town, not many have heard of it."

"I see." Elrond turned to another elf at the table and the talk meandered among other topics.

Okay, so it ended a bit abruptly. And I know everyone seemed a little ooc this chappie. I promise it'll get better, but only if you review. Reviews make me update faster people. An yes, the Sea of Rhun is a real place. I whipped out an old copy of LOTR with a map. It's by Mirkwood, sorta. And no, I don't live in McHenery, only nearby.

Also, if you read Why, then tell me if you want me to do a sort of prequel to it. All it takes is one person to ask.

Also, also, I saw Troy like, right before I finished typing this and it is an effing good movie. I loved it. Okay, reviewer responses.

Klt Brinkster- Thank you so much. You just gave my ego a huge boost. Now my fat head will get stuck on stuff, lol. A belated Merry Christmas to you too. Ah yes, for reviewing you get a cookie. –hands Klt big cookie-

Wren O'brien- Thank you! I've been meaning to check out your story, but I'm lazy. For being my firstest reviewer, you get a cupcake! –hands Wren a ginormous cupcake-

Reviewer responses for Why (told ya they'd be here…didn't I? O.o)

Dark-child99- I am so very sorry about the e-mail. I misunderstood your review. Thank you anyway for being such a sweetheart about it. –hands Dark-child a ginourmous cupcake- You get a cupcake too for being my firstest reader of this story.

Black Cat Gurl- Thankies for the support. You get a cookie. –hands Black a big cookie-

Samantha-Sammy, I love you so much mellon-in. Thank you for reviewing even though you don't like slash. That means so much to me. –hands Sammy a really big cookie- You deserve a really big cookie.

Kestrel of Valinor-I trust you received my e-mail, stupid bitch. You get a smack across the face and arrows shot at you. –arrows shoot at Kestrel- Don't review. Please.

Jogreenleaf- Thankies. Hehe, I'm not twisted, I'm odd. Wait, I already knew that….. Thank you for reviewing anyway. –hands jogreenleaf a big cookie-

That sums up my responses. R&R everyone, except Kestrel. You can go flame other self-respecting authors.