Chapter three: fix you

Draco awoke with a screaming headache, it was like a house elf was using one of those toffee hammers to bash his brains for revenge. He slowly cracked open one eye and got a glimpse of Pansy's pug face hovering above his. Oh jesus, maybe he was better off unconscious.

"Drakey? Drakey are you awake?" she cooed to him.

"Er…..yeah," was all he could think of to reply. Right now think. What happened? Pansy. Sex. Black. Now we know she wasn't that good. So what happened? Pansy flung her arms around Draco, turning the hammering to drilling. Draco could almost picture some house elf high as a kite using a drill like a po-go stick on his brain. Yeah, he really needed a doctor.

"Oh drakey, I was so worried about you! You slipped on our condom and knocked yourself out on my chest of drawers!" Draco groaned, if he had had the energy to blush he would have, instead he resorted to a groan. His reputation was in tatters.

Hermione necked back yet another shot of vodka and stepped onto the bed to dance with lavender just as Sean Paul's new song came on their magical stereo. Some of the other girls jumped onto the other beds. Ginny was against a far wall, passed out or fast asleep one could only guess. Padma had ended the night early by dragging her sister to the prefects bathroom so she could puke her dinner up. Mmm….steak and kidney pudding, chips and mushy peas.

"Why is it you always throw up mushy peas first?" asked Hermione curiously, watching a fifth year girl charm away Parvati's green puke.

"Ew! Herms!" Lavender squeeled giggling.

As the clock started to chime midnight, the classic witching hour, the withes in the girls dormitory began to say their goodbyes and go to bed, leaving Hermione and Lavender alone, the other seventh year girls being elsewhere.

"So Herms, I thought you were in book worm mode tonight?" said lavender whilst poaring them both a shot of peach achers.

"I was, I really was, but erm there was an incident," Hermione whispered blushing.

"Do tell, do tell, I want all the juicy details," both girls drained their shot glasses and made slight faces over the strong tasting liquer.

"Well, I was in the library, all alone, and then I heard someone behind me, it turned out to be Malfoy.."

"Mmm yummy," said lavender dreamily.

"Focus!" Hermione yelled at her equally drunk friend " so anyway we have a spat, then suddenly were snogging and I feel the whole package pressed against me and…."

"and?" lavender prompted

"and….well…"

"Jesus don't keep me in suspense Hermione"

"I farted," Hermione finished. For a brief moment Lavender's face remained void of emotion, and then her face split into a wide grin, and she began splitting her side laughing. Hermione scowled, grabbed her bottle of peach archers and left the dormitory.

Draco stumbled down yet another long black corridor. God he needed some help here, his eyes seemed to be going round and round, but he couldn't have taken any more "drakey this" and "drakey that" so he had left Pansy's room, and was now stumbling around the school in the dark.

As he turned the corner he saw a soft glowing light coming from the bottom of one flight of stairs, as he began to sway towards it, he briefly registered in the back of his mind that someone was crying.

"Granger?" he said stunned, holding his balance on the banister. His eyes took in her crying form and the half finished bottle of archers sat proudly at her side like somekind of mascot.

"Go away Malfoy! I can't take anymore mocking today!" she shrieked before dissolving into another fit of hysterics.

"Shut up granger! Your going to wake half the bloody school up!" this seemed to quieten her.

"What do you want Malfoy?" she demanded, and took a large swig from her bottle, shuddering slightly at its hairspray taste, making draco smile.

"Look, I'm sorry Granger okay? I acted wrongly. I mean everybody farts?" Draco received silence in return. When he turned to face her the bushy haired girl was fast asleep. Oh great. Now what did he do?