Author's Notes: WOW! Your favorite Author is back with another bone chilling, breathe taking, heart aching chapter! (or did you already know that? ... sorry I'm just trying to make myself look better... I'm not even a good author-sad-) I know the wait for this chapter was basically too long (-dies- x.x) Ok please read and review!

Hisoka- Why do you hate me?

LaDiDa- Aw... I dont hate ou... I just love Muraki more... a lot more :smile:

Muraki- Yes Hisoka, besides, Theres plenty of Tsu/His fics out there.

LaDiDa- Thats why I'm here! To even the score!

Tsuzuki- (reads story) wow...

Yoko- My poor poor Hisoka!

Disclaimer: I don't own the kawaii Tsuzuki, the insane Muraki or the angsting Hisoka, or any other Yami no Matsuei character

Chapter 11

Hisoka's POV

I sat in the dark room. Nothings ever been bright ever since Tsuzuki died exactly one year ago. Ever since that day he broke his promise to me, that day Muraki showed me once and for all, who Tsuzuki would truly die for... that fateful day where the gods were no better than a filthy dogs'.

Tsuzuki lied to me. He even convinced himself that he was doing all of that to save me... to help me! But that bastard didn't do it for me. He did all of that so he can leave me with a clean conscious. Is your conscious clear? I sigh and continue my work. Not the type of work that shinigami are suppose to do either.

End Hisoka's POV

/Flash back/

"Hisoka! Get a hold of yourself!" Tensei slapped Hisoka in the face to somehow regain Hisoka's composure. It was late in the night. Tensei had told him to meet him in the mortal world. That was the only way he knew that no one else would hear what he had to say to Hisoka. "Do you want to see Tsuzuki or not?"

In an instant Hisoka stopped fighting him off. "So you know w-where Tsuzuki went after he d-died?" Hisoka shuddered. It wasn't cold its just that with in the hours Tsuzuki was dead Hisoka slowly and painfully began going insane ... he began thinking that even in HADES his 'un-life' was worthless.

"NO but like Zerla said, his case is very different from any other shinigami in the entire staff of HADES. His soul could even be wandering any where. But I know something you could do to get to where ever he is ... only problem is, Black magick isn't aloud. And thats the only way to do it." Tensei sighed. "You might even be killed doing a spell this dangerous... if your really in love with Tsuzuki... like I am... I'd say do the spell."

"So why aren't you doing it?"

"I'm a noble, I'm under the eyes of the all mighty himself. Thats why I'm leaving this job to you. Thats why I'm giving you this." Tensei handed Hisoka a small piece of paper. And on that paper Tensei wrote down a tracking spell. It was banned long before Muraki would know about it.

"Then... I'll find him... with this?" Hisoka stared at the paper. "I'm going to find him?" There wasn't an answerby the time Hisoka looked up, Tensei was gone. And Hisoka was alone again.

And for over a year Hisoka studied black maigick. He even surprised himself with all the power he gained. But after a couple of months, Tatsumi started to notice the turn in Hisoka's power level. That didn't stop Hisoka from going with the spell and that didn't stop him from become completely insane.

"... yes... I'm going to find him... then I'll kill him... yes, yes, yes... MY Tsuzuki!" Hisoka mumbled those words while he continued to write in scribble on a burned piece of paper. "I wont let death take us apart... and when Muraki is dead I'll have you forever... and ever... and ever... and ever!" (a/n oh Hisoka:eye twitch:)

Soon enough all of Hisoka's black magick caught on to demons, willing to make deals—willing to "help out". And with out another thought Hisoka made a very weird and loose deal with a demon named Oni Akuba. He told Hisoka that he also hated Muraki and that he would give him all his powers if Hisoka gave him a part of his mind. So that just in case the demon died, he would live inside Hisoka's thoughts.

/End Flashback/

With a low sigh Hisoka got up and walked over to a huge red and black mirror. He closed his eyes and smiled warmly into, as if he knew Tsuzuki was smiling on the other side.

Hisoka's green eyes dulled over time. The shine that was there only proved more that Hisoka needed Tsuzuki. He needed Tsuzuki to save him and not die for the sake of someone else. Every thing out side the four walls of his apartment meant nothing to him.

Scared of reality.

Locked inside my dreams of colorless light

you cease to exist ... in the real world

And in my dreams your real

But I hate sleeping 'cause I hate waking up ... screaming

But I'll scream in pain

If it means your here

I'll wake up and hate you ...

If it means dreaming about loving you...

Hisoka clenched his fist. "I'm tried of dreaming. And I'll dream no more, when I find you. I'll dream no more..." Hisoka left the room and continued his work as Shinigami. He didn't need any more weird looks at him from Tatsumi. He needed every one to think that he had gotten over Tsuzuki's death. And maybe he would have gotten over it—if a certain curse didn't wake him up every night screaming for another man that wasn't there.

8888

Hisoka walked in his office quietly. He was meant to have another parter but Hisoka automatically hated them, mainly because their thoughts were either perverted or too happy about being dead. So he continued his work by himself, he didn't need some second rate shinigami to work with, he didn't any body except the one who died twice.

Watari walked in the office—like Hisoka—Watari had felt the blow from Tsuzuki's death and hasn't shared a truly happy smile ever since. People would think that as 'shinigami' they would take death much more better than a human, no, they took it just the same and maybe even worst. "Good mourning Hisoka-san, I think Tatsumi as an assignment for you. He's in Konoe 's office."

"Hai." Hisoka left the room with Watari watching him leave.

"Almost one year later and he still hasn't gotten over Tsuzuki even a little bit. He wont even leave his room for months at a time. I hope he's alright." Watari sighed again then went back to his own section in HADES.

8888

Hisoka walked in he room, eyeing Tatsumi. "Whats is it?" Hisoka blankly glared at them.

Tatsumi cleared his throat before speaking. "Well the girl's name his Kyota Motari." Tatsumi handed Hisoka the file. "It seems that she very aware that she's dead. Also that she is purposely wandering the world. And from past research, she doing this from fear of hell."

Hisoka sucked his teeth. "There are far much things to fear when your dead than hell... like dying all over again." Hisoka smiled to himself. :eye twitch:

"Well then, You should be off then." Konoe clapped his hands tightly together. "I guess I'll see you after the mission then." And with that Hisoka left the room with the file at hand.

8888

"Hisoka? Your back?" Konoe looked very surprised. "But it usually takes days to get a single soul."

"You'll be surprised at how a talk with me can let you accept something like hell."

"Um... right! So um... yeah I'm going to do... that thing that I do now." Konoe left the room. Hisoka sighed.

"I guess people want to stay much further away from me now. But that doesn't mater. I have what I want so I have to do is take the body of a young mortal."

Author's note: Oh my my my, Ive made Hisoka MORE crazy than Muraki! (I like to see Hisoka suffer -.-) Oh, and if your wondering, that poem is all original by your on and only. Yes I'm secretly a very lovely poet .

Other than that, I bet your wondering whats going on right? And you'll know as soon as you review! The chapter: Hisoka does something NO ONE would ever think he would do: Pure Memories Impure Deeds