Chapter 5

During a break in questioning with Sophia, Alex faced questioning from Gil. The pair was seated in his office with the door closed. Alex knew what was coming.

"Gil," Alex started. "I'm so sorry I haven't told you about this. I just didn't know how to tell you."

"So tell me about it now," he responded, anger evident in his voice.

Alex paused for a long moment. She debated telling him the abbreviated truth, as it appeared everyone now knew, or the real truth. From the look on his face she knew nothing less than the absolute truth would do or she might be expelled from his life.

She took a deep breath, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to break through. "When I was a teenager I was desperate to fit in, but I never could. So, after I started at the grocery store, when this guy, Dan Gregory, started paying attention to me, I loved it. He liked the fact that I was smart when most guys found it intimidating. And so I would do anything to make sure he kept on liking me.

"This, unfortunately, led me to get involved with bookmaking. But between the job, school and bookmaking, I couldn't keep up. The first time he offered me something, he said it was a caffeine pill."

Grissom raised an eyebrow. Alex understood the question.

"I knew it wasn't a caffeine pill," she told him. "Before I knew it, I was working for him for more and I couldn't stop. Someone turned us in; I think it was my grandmother. Anyway, Dan heard of the coming heat and thought it was my fault. He came after me and started attacking me. While we were fighting, the cops came and we were arrested. After the arrest, I tested positive for amphetamines.

"They had tons of evidence against me for drugs, bookmaking, and the assault. I was looking at many years in Juvie, or possibly being charged as an adult. So when they offered me a deal, I took it.

"I spent three months in a juvenile facility—mainly for drug treatment. When I got out, I changed my name and we moved. I straightened my life out and have never looked back," Alex finished and looked at Gil. She couldn't read the expression on his face.

There was a long, silent pause. Alex was sure it meant she was no longer a daughter. Gil finally broke the silence. "Why was that so hard?"

Alex was stunned. There were no words of condemnation, no accusations. She had been so sure her confession was going to be the end; it's why she kept silent for this long. She realized he saw her as she is, not as she was. The tears finally broke through and she started to sob. "I was so sure you'd hate me," she said through her sobs, burying her face in her hands.

Gil got out of his chair and walked around the front of his desk where Alex was seated. "As Helen Keller once stated, 'Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.'" He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him.

She jumped up and hugged him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she repeated over and over.

Gil just held her, trying to calm his daughter. He didn't have to ask about the current situation. He knew a couple hairs did not a murderer make.

After a few minutes, there was a knock on the door. Gil and Alex broke their embrace. Gil went to open his door as Alex quickly wiped her eyes. She knew, however, evidence of her tears was still present in the redness of her eyes.

"Hey Catherine," Gil said after opening the door.

"Hey Gris," She replied. Then seeing Alex she quickly added, "Sorry to interrupt, but they've requested your presence at a crime scene. Seems they have some creepy, crawly evidence for you."

Gil looked back at Alex. She just nodded an okay to leave. She had said her peace.

"Let's go," he said to Catherine.

"Is it ok if I stay in here for a few more minutes?" Alex asked before they left.

"I'll let Sophia know you're in here," Gil replied and then left, closing the door behind him.

Alex sat back down in the chair, resting her head in her hands. Her heart was ten pounds lighter knowing that Gil now knew the truth—the whole truth—about her past. She could only hope others would be as accepting because she knew it wouldn't be long before everyone found out.

After a few minutes pondering in silence, there was another knock on the door. This time, however, the person didn't wait for an invitation to come in.

"Hey Gris, I was wonder-" Greg started, but stopped when he saw Alex. "Oh, hey Alex," he said flatly.

She knew he had heard. "Greg, I'm sure you-"

Greg interrupted her, "Listen Alex, just—don't." He turned to leave.

She jumped out of the chair and rushed to grab his arm. "Please Greg, let me explain."

Greg turned back to face her. "I don't want explanations. I don't want more drama. All I've ever asked of you is the truth and you don't seem to be able to give that. All this just makes me wonder what else you aren't telling me."

Alex could feel the redness seeping into her cheeks. There was something else she wasn't telling him, but she didn't want him to take out his anger at her on Nick. So instead of being honest, she got defensive. "Because I didn't tell you 'Oh hey Greg, I once had a drug problem and have been convicted of assault and bookmaking, but that was years ago, I'm better now.' It's kinda hard to work into a conversation. It doesn't make me a liar."

"I never said you were a liar," Greg shot back. "I just said you like to omit things sometimes."

"Oh, and that's so much better," she replied angrily. "Well if you're so sick of me, then let's just end this now before you get really sick of me."

"That's fine with me," he said and removed his arm from her grasp. Then he left.

"Fine!" she almost yelled back. Then, forgetting where she was, she slammed Gil's office door.

She swore at herself under her breath. She knew Greg had every right to be mad. She had left out things before; she was leaving things out now. She had become a little too comfortable telling the most positive version of her self. She needed to practice telling the whole truth. Until she could do that, she knew Greg would never give her a second, make that third, chance.

Alex needed to get some fresh air. She walked back to the interrogation room, to let Sophia know she was going outside but Sophia was nowhere to be found. Alex decided to go anyway. It's not like she could leave. She didn't have her car; Gil had brought her.

She had found a spot on the stairs to sit. The building wasn't very busy this late in the evening, so it wasn't hard to be out of the way. She sat staring up at the sky, noticing how the light cloud cover looked like corduroy. She took in the expanse of it all, pondering the predicament that now faced her.

After a while, she heard footsteps coming up behind her. At first, she thought it was Sophia coming to get her, but then she noticed the footsteps were too heavy to be hers.

"Is that step taken?" It was Nick.

She turned and looked up at him. "I can't deal with you right now."

"Deal with me?" Nick incredulously replied, sitting down next to her.

"Nick, it's been a shitty night as you've probably heard. I just can't deal with—"

"Whoa, hold up," Nick interrupted. "I know it's been a bad night. I just figured you could use a friend."

She gave him a suspicious look. He held up his hands.

"Just a friend," he assured her.

She sighed. "What is going on?"

Nick wasn't sure what she meant. "Huh?"

"This murder, Greg, my past, you. What did I do to deserve all of this in one day?" she clarified.

"Your life is always this exciting, isn't he?" he asked factiously.

She rolled her eyes. Then her expression turned serious. "You don't think I did it, do you?"

Nick placed his hand on hers. "Alex, I know you didn't do it."

"Well, at least one person does," she said.

They both grew quiet and just sat. There weren't really words to be said. She wasn't ready to address the other issue that hung over them. Right now she was just glad to have someone who was willing to be there and be understanding.